Phenomena, Creepers

a Must watch in any good Halloween party.

Did you think we wouldn't review a horror flick on Halloween? Think again! Instead of praising vomits like Annabelle as well executed horror films, here at the SPAM Alternative headquarters we'll offer you a true horror film, not a shitty cock sucking bummer so, fasten your seatbelts for today's offering to Satan!

PHENOMENA ranks amongst Dario Argento's finest films. Some state that it is his best film, some do not, hence the neverending argument to whether today's review or SUSPIRIA or PROFONDO ROSSO are to be considered number one in the filmography of this great Italian master. 

Now, any connoisseur knows the difference between watching a European horror film and an American (rip-off) horror film. Dario Argento is perhaps, the king of the Giallo genre, and is definitely  the go to director if you are to introduce a friend to this brilliant perspective of what is making a horror film a good film that'll give you chillls from start to finish. Nevertheless, if you're a complete moron who's life is deeply based in stereotypes, I'm pretty sure your mental capacity is already too diminished to understand and enjoy the grandeure of a real good film. If that is your case, please leave this humble blog at once. 

Is he dead already?

Satan is in her eyes!

Needless to say, Dario Argento is a macabre master of technique, and with Phenomena he reuses a previous premise (many times has this plot happened with Argento with the young girl going to a boarding school of some sort with a murderer in the midst after the main girl), but with startling, uproarious but effective results. We should find some of this as amusing- a chimpanzee as a companion/servant to Scottish wheelchair bound emptamologist Donald Pleasance, and Jennifer Connelly's character, Jennifer, who can communicate and bring the wrath of swarms of insects- and I'm sure Argento, knowing what he's doing, recognizes the finer points of the insanity in his work. But he also turns up the screws in terms of the 'creep' factor (hence it's American re-edit dubbed Creepers), with sequences that edge on the self-conscious and the sublimely terrifying.

Simplistics of the plot, if there is one to speak: a young girl is sent to a boarding school while her famous father is off in the Philippines. She befriends a scientist who specializes in insects, and also in theories pertaining to a certain psychopath who may or may not be killing people in the dead of night- when young Jennifer is out sleepwalking! She's deemed crazy and meant to be taken to a mental hospital, but she has other plans up her sleeve, or up swarming in the air. There's a confident, fresh Connelly in the lead, as well as Pleasance who's always dependable as the prophetic veteran of this ilk (once or twice you wonder if he'll say "I shot him six times!") But it's what Argento puts his young lady through that makes or breaks Phenomena for the viewer. As with other films of his "classic" era like Opera and Suspiria, he doesn't tether himself to logic; it would only get in the way of his big ideas and abstractions, his visual of Jennifer looking down that white hallway, the little fly buzzing along with her, and of course the eventual lair of the killer.

My dear, we have a murder to catch.

I see dead bugs.

That lair, I should add, is the kind of place that, as Argento directs it, gets scarier as it goes along. Not the kind of scary where you always go BUMP in the night, but more where you suddenly get in a frame of mind, where the psychopath has the audience in a grip much like Jennifer. It's interesting to note a common stylistic trait we see here, which is a cliche to be sure, with the killer's POV as something characteristic of the material. It should be a big gag, but for Argento it's all part of the game he's weaving. While there aren't as many random things that happen as in Opera, and we don't get any kind of 'deep' murder mystery as in Deep Red, it's never too misleading. By the time Argento plunges us into that pit with the maggots we're squirming in our seats, and feeling an edge of exhilaration to wonder how the hell she (or another chap who happens to be in the room) will get out alive. But as if to seal the deal on making this a near-classic horror film, Argento does a crazy double-twist, one that had me raising eyebrows, laughing uncontrollably, and with a feeling that, as twisted as it's become, justice has been served.

Even with the 80's metal music not in cue to the scenes most of the time when they pop up (the Goblin music fares much better), and even with the lapses in judgment or the occasional poor acting turn, Phenomena should be something of a must-see for die-hards of Italian giallo, or just anyone wanting something a tinge 'different' in their slasher movie. And what makes a difference more than insects! 

Here's the movie trailer:

Blue Jeans

Forget other girls! demand Italian beauty only!

The more you watch Italian movies, the more you realize Italy is a synonym for genius. Whenever, a newcomer into the world of cult cinema states the exploitation genre  best examples come from the USA it is our duty to remind him/her how wrong that statement is. Actually, the USA ripped off of many Italian films from many genres. For example, the horror genre with serial killers is actuallly an idea developed by the Italians long before the Americans decided to "americanize" the Italian Giallo genre. Nevertheless, the reason that gathers us today here is to continue reviewing the magnificent and prolific career of another Italian 70's diva: Gloria Guida. If the number one beauty of Italy and the whole world is Ornella Muti then, number two bombshell in the list is definitely Guida, the blue-eyed blonde. 

Last year we reviewed one of her films, namely 1979's La liceale, il diavolo e l'acquasanta. Now it's time to continue with perhaps, her most famous film and one of top Italian blockbusters of all times: Blue Jeans.  The film grossed about 310 millions lire at the Italian box office. The film critic Vittorio Spiga referred to the film as "an adult comic book that flows into a real exaltation of the remarkable ass of Gloria Guida". 

"$21.000 Lire and you can have me any way you want"

Thinking 'bout sex?

A key work in Gloria Guida's elusive filmography is her fourth feature, Blue Jeans, released in Europe just about a year after Guida had been crowned Miss Teen Italy. Guida was just 18 when she shot the admittedly uneven, but mildly entertaining, Blue Jeans with director Mario Imperoli, the filmmaker who had introduced her to film audiences with the very popular La Ragazzina, AKA Monika in 1974. Italian audiences had responded immediately to Imperoli's sexy blonde discovery and by the time she reunited with the director again for Blue Jeans, Guida already had another two hits on her resume (Silvio Amadio's La minorenne and Giuliano Biagetti's La novizia).. 

Absolutely perfect for the sexy comedies that Italians were flocking to throughout the seventies, Gloria Guida was one of the most charming actors that came to fame in the commedia erotica all'italiana genre. Standing in clear contrast to her darkly sensual Italian peers, Guida was all sex and sunshine and she had the absolute perfect face, figure and openness for the Sex Comedies that she became famous for. Guida was also very funny and had a wonderfully sweet quality about her that gave even her more explicit films an oddly innocent feel, and a director who absolutely recognized this special quality was Mario Imperoli.

And the award for Best Title Screen Ever goes to...

Bombshells hitchhiking!

Gorgeous Gloria Guida plays a teenage streetwalker nicknamed "Blue Jeans" because of the short-shorts(what's left of 'em anyway, and no Daisy Duke didn't come up with them at all)that she always wears. After she is picked up on prostitution charge by the police, she claims to be the illegitimate daughter of Dr. Carlo Anselmi (Paolo Carlini) a wealthy local artist--even though he denies it--and is sent to live with him until he is able to legally disavow his relationship to her. Much (alleged)hilarity ensues as she wanders around the house naked, antagonizes his live-in girlfriend (Marisa, played by annie Carol Edel), and disrupts his society parties. Nevertheless, the plot twist, changes the mood of the film in its entirety, as we find out  Blue Jeans owns her pimp money and that he's followed her and planned to kill Dr. Anselmi so that they can inherit his money.

Blue Jeans is a slight film that is only fitfully funny but it is never less than compulsively watchable thanks to Guida, who appears in nearly every scene of the film (that she easily steals from all of her more experienced costars including Paolo Carlini as her bumbling father). Featuring a delightfully breezy score by the legendary Nico Fidenco and some truly gorgeous color photography by future Dario Argento cinematographer Romano Albani, Blue Jeans is finally mostly just a showcase for Guida and her considerable physical charms (Imperoli all but abandons his already thin narrative throughout the film with fetish-like closeups of Guida's long muscular legs and shapely behind). If the film is perhaps more memorable than it should be it is probably due to the perverse and violent final act that seems taken from another work entirely.

Nice to meet you daughter.

Let's go shopping daddy!

When his camera isn't ogling Gloria Guida's astonishing physique, Imperoli's direction is workmanlike and not especially stylish. Compared to say the incredible satiric comedies that the great Salvatore Samperi was making with Laura Antonelli, such as the masterful Malicious (1973), Blue Jeans feels fairly weak indeed. Perhaps the big tragedy of Gloria Guida's career is that most of the films she did make throughout the seventies survived mostly due to her presence alone, with a few notable exceptions like Fernando Di Leo's haunting To Be Twenty (1978). Still, this does not mean Blue Jeans is not worth watching. The film is the altered reality every man wish he lived on: Easy horny teens waiting for a good piece of dick, no pun intended.

Like most of her films, Blue Jeans has never been released on home video in the United States and finding a copy can be very harsh. Nevertheless, internet has proven with time to be an excellent distributor for many unreleased gems like this one. Finding the appropriate subtitles may also take some time to master but patience will get you to the right places. Guida is definitely a cult-figure in need of a larger audience, if only she could find a major new following if some enterprising company would invest in her elusive filmography. Until then, fan subbed versions of some of her films, like Blue Jeans, can be found on the web while a few have been granted Region 1 release (with special mention going to To be Twenty and Monika). For those with all-region players, with no need for English subs or dubs, a number more are available on European disc.

Can't you see I'm only 17?

My oh my!

Overall, Blue Jeans is a very entertaining Sexploitation Commedia All'Iataliana. Gloria Guida continued to work in films alike until her career was no longer an object of interest. The amount of nudity on this film is not that exploitative, every nude scene is connected to the plot, just don't expect high standards of acting here, Guida is gorgeous but she was never nearly as good as Ornella Muti was in the acting department. Her beauty is stunning, no doubt about it but it's a pity that most of her films revolve around her body assets rather than acting, good storytelling or creativity. Still, she did manage to star a few good films. All of those films will be reviewed here as soon as possible. 

One final commentary, If you want the queen of Italian sexploitation, look no further!

Here's the official German trailer:




And since, we can't have it on DVD or Blu Ray in America, here's the real deal (Italian only, sorry)

Les nuits brûlantes de Linda, The Hot Nights Of Linda, Who Raped Linda?

Softcore master piece.

Today's entry will be a return to the very roots of this cult cinema blog: Sexploitation! a genre which despite its name, offers way more than softcore/hardcore scenery for usual wankers, and as you can see, our blog has been completely redesigned for the first time since 2008! The original template grew old and the back up files that gave it that retro design died a couple of weeks ago since the original website who had them ceased to exist forever. Nevertheless, our humble blog remains the same: Regular people like you and me enjoying films that belong to an entirely different category, a sort of Anti-Hollywood vision, not against Hollywood, but against Hollywood movies stereotyped labels like blockbuster, must-watch, summer hit, watchamacallit, Julia Roberts-Type-of-Film, you name it. Hoping you enjoy our new updated design (with integrated social networking and a newly enhanced like system) 

In order to celebrate we have chosen a Euro Cult classic that was recently re-released in home format for the first time ever in High Definition. Today's entry is one of the best creations of film maker Jess Franco and her lifetime wife Lina Romay (believe it or not, it's not a hardcore film) Les nuits brûlantes de Linda is a 1975 must watch, so let's cut to the chase. 

The original crappy VHS edition.

The newly restored Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack.

Number one Euro-Sleaze film maker, Jesús Franco AKA Jess Franco was a dedicated artist with a wide filmography that steps into softcore, drama, comedy, straight pornography, hardcore and then softcore again, his list is nearly impossible to label under one category since he wrote and directed approximately 200 films. Franco’s The Hot Nights of Linda is actually titled But Who Raped Linda? onscreen and the direction is credited to one J.P. Johnson (an American jazz pianist whom Franco admired). Franco used dozens of pseudonyms. Many of his films are cut and recut and retitled, with hard-core sex scenes added or removed, depending on the whims of distributors. Franco inserted identical scenes from his own films into different movies he directed. His films referred increasingly to his previous work. Franco created his own universe, his own mythology. In his earlier movies, Franco was capable of classical construction and a cinematic elegance that waned as the speed at which he cranked out movies escalated.

The Hot Nights of Linda was made in 1973, one of the busiest years in Franco’s career, with 11 films completed and three films started but incomplete. The early 1970s was the white heat of Franco’s creativity, according to Thrower. Franco craved cinematic freedom but at the price of discipline and rigor. His later work was often shoddy and slapdash. Once in a while, Franco made a good, solid film: Venus in Furs (1969) is an extraordinary fantasy-thriller about a woman who returns from the dead, but Franco followed it with the abysmal Count Dracula (1970), which wasn’t the step up from the Hammer Draculas that Franco and Christopher Lee hoped it would be.

The banana fellatio scene.

Sure go ahead!

To be honest with my fellow connoisseurs, I've never been a diehard fan of Franco's work. To me he was number one B movie film maker in a time where I didn't have any idea about what made a good movie in the first place. Nevertheless, I did understand why he constantly worked with her wife Lina Romay in most of his films. The love they had was surely a big thing, since she had no hesitation on working on straight pornography for him. Today, I can tell you he's a varied film maker with his hits and misses like many directors who are still out there. However, his rich contribution to the Euro-Sleaze label can neither be denied nor diminished. He was the best at what he did and The Hot Nights Of Linda prove it with ease.

According to film writer Stephen Thrower, The Hot Nights of Linda delivers on basic softcore thrills but can be viewed as a psychological chamber piece that doesn’t have any really obvious exploitation hooks, which is one reason it may have been overlooked in the Franco canon. The themes of The Hot Nights of Linda are incest, a family patriarch who is concealing a dreadful secret, and the family unit in decay. The Hot Nights of Linda is one of the strangest and most claustrophobic of Franco’s films.

I love reading in the nude.

I love listening to music in the nude.

Actually Linda isn’t the main character, which makes the storyline all the more confusing: Linda (the slim and raven-haired beauty Catherine Lafferière) is a paraplegic who lives comfortably in her uncle’s seaside Greek villa but is constantly hit on by her more strong-willed nymphomaniac cousin, Olivia (Franco’s uninhibited and beloved muse Lina Romay). The estate belongs to Olivia’s debauched father (Paul Muller). The simple-minded manservant Abdul (Pierre Taylou) provides stud service to the sexually insatiable Olivia. The lead role actually belongs to the alluring and statuesque Alice Arno as Marie-France Bertrand, who is hired as a live-in nurse/secretary and whose pulchritudinous presence brings some of the household’s darkest secrets to light, leading to lesbianism, sadism, murder, suicide, horsewhipping and bloodshed. Ultimately, the ending is an “it was all a dream” cop-out.

Multiple versions of The Hot Nights of Linda were released throughout Europe but, as with most Franco films, Linda was never given an American theatrical release. Unfortunately, video versions for all of these versions were absolutely dire, with blurry VHS copies suffering from murky quality, random edits, and brutal cropping of the original scope photography. Considering its dismal history, Severin Films is to be saluted for releasing what can only be termed the first watchable copy of this film ever issued on home video.

Smoking is bad for your health.

Yoga with Lina.

The 80-minute But Who Raped Linda? soft-core release version was Franco’s preferred cut and the longest version out there. The longer 80-minute cut is the primary one on Severin’s dual-format Blu-ray/DVD edition, featuring the English language track. It’s a professional dub overall (with only one annoying voice actor), and The Hot Nights of Linda can finally be appreciated for its rich aesthetic beauty—including some scenes absent entirely from the more commonly circulated hardcore version. But the film meanders and The Hot Nights of Linda is too restrained to classify as a horror movie. I’d also advise anyone who doesn’t “get” the Franco phenomenon to give this one a miss. Franco is an acquired taste. You’re either attuned to him or you’re not.

Here's a sample of the film:

Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines

I'll be back.

Can a story that has already been told from start to finish continue? in the world of movies, anything can happen, and believe it or not, James Cameron announced Terminator 3 many times in the late 90's, but without coming out with any finished script. Tedi Sarafian wrote an early draft, and eventually earned a shared "story by" credit with screenwriters John Brancato and Michael Ferris, who wrote the screenplay.

The studios had long wanted to make a sequel to the Terminator films. However, they were unsure whether Arnold Schwarzenegger would appear in it. Schwarzenegger initially refused to star in Terminator 3 because Cameron, who created the character and helmed the first two films, would not be directing the third installment. Schwarzenegger tried to persuade Cameron to produce the third film. Cameron declined, however, as he felt that he had already finished telling the story upon the conclusion of T2. But feeling that the Terminator character was as much Schwarzenegger's as it was his own, he advised Schwarzenegger to just do the third film and ask for "nothing less than $30 million." anyways, let's move on to part III of a franchise that should have stayed a trilogy (We'll deal with Terminator Salvation soon) for good times sake.

 

a newer sexier Terminator that is to die for!

Terminator pride!

In 2003 John Connor(played by Nick Stahl) is living a life without record, with no fixed address, no bank account and no permanent job. He does this to avoid the terminators of the future being able to find him and kill him. In absence of him, Skynet sends back a T-X(played by sexy bombshell Kristanna Loken who gets in the nude in her arrival scenes, just pause your DVD/Blu Ray player at the right moment and you'll see the new menacing weaponry of the female Terminator) to kill secondary targets – Connor's future lieutenants, among them Kate Brewster(with a very convincing portrayal by romantic comedy actress Claire Danes), daughter of military scientist Robert Brewster(David Andrews). Luckily, in the future, Kate has sent back a captured Terminator to protect them. As the group escape Connor learns more of judgement day and sets out to try and stop it again.

T3 is different from T2 in that it isn't really in the same league as T2 was when it came out. In my view T2 was the must see movie of it's time whereas now it has faded a little and is secondary to The Matrix (soon the trilogy will be reviewed here) and other cutting edge blockbusters. In fact so second was it that I wasn't that bothered about seeing it or not. However I'm glad it did as T3 is nicely paced, doesn't expect too much of itself and does just what a blockbuster is meant to be – be entertaining.

Katherine Brewster soon gets in the action.

John Connor, hobo jobo.

The plot is mostly secondary to the action but, basically, the T-X has been sent back to take out a group of people before it then (accidentally) finds it's primary target of John Connor. Some of the plot is a little tenuous but it doesn't matter as it moves along at such a pace that you don't have time to really think too long about any one scene. However the climax is a hark back to the original Terminator with a down deep and depressing ending where fate manages to happen regardless of Connor's best intentions.

The action is great although it does look basic beside the effects of Matrix etc. I did feel that they worked better by not trying to be overly flashy or fancy. The morphing effects are actually more enjoyable because here they make up part of the action whereas in T2 they were key moments of cutting edge technology. The film's action takes the form of a simple chase and is very effective, the multiple car chase is my favorite scene – partly because it shows how very out classed the Terminator is by the new model!

I'm fucking back again!

I'm the undertaker!

The direction is good and Cameron isn't missed at all. Mostow does a great job with the action scenes and keeps everything just perfect. Because the film realizes that the franchise is build on catch phrases and images that have entered into popular culture so much that they are overused, it wisely chooses to mock itself and has a real nice sense of humor to it. For example the original Terminator had the terminator entering a motor cycle bar and exiting dressed in biker leathers, here he enters a bar and finds a ladies night in full swing and has to get his clothes from a gay stripper. The deadpan way in which he rejects the sunglasses is really good. In a way this could have undermined the effect of the film but it is managed well and doesn't.

The cast is roundly good. The exit of Sarah Connor is handled well and her replacement (Danes) is good despite a few duff lines which don't convince. Stahl's performance could be seen as mocking Furlong's drug problems (I can't see any other reason for his junkie-like tics etc.) but he is still good and carries the film well. Schwarzenegger wisely agrees to mock his own character – the film takes the idea that time has passed the Terminator franchise by, by having the terminator itself being totally superseded. Loken is good as the T-X and is sexy enough but isn't given as much to do as anyone else. Whereas Patrick was pretty much the main focus of T2 (because of the effects) Loken has less of an impact.

Dressed to kill.

Die humans!

Overall I had my doubts about this film but it did manage to do just what I needed it to do. The action is overblown and enjoyable without being the cutting edge in special effects at any time. The plot-driving scenes are good and the main story (behind the action) is involving and interesting, right up till the downbeat ending. I must say that, although it is hardly the most imaginative or inspiring film made in 2003, it certainly does what you need a blockbuster to do – no deep, pretentious plots, no joy-less acting, but rather a big noisy movie that doesn't take itself too serious (despite the serious plot) and is actually very enjoyable to watch.Considering what happened to many franchises when they released their part III  movies, Terminator 3 easily outdoes most of them. Perhaps, if we didn't know there was going to be a Terminator 4 we could have easily thought this was the weakest in the Terminator brand but, you know, shit happens and Terminator Salvation was ironically, Terminator 3's salvation.

Here's the movie trailer:

...and the deleted scene that explains why T-800 are modelled after Arnie:

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Hasta La Vista Baby!

Can someone outdo his own work? Well, James Cameron certainly did! In 1984 he rocked our socks off with the magnificent cyberpunk horror masterpiece The Terminator an uncertain future where AI has humanity enslaved. However, a time machine allows Kyle Reese to aid Sarah Connor onto securing her offspring's life. Nevertheless, a new tremor in our future call for immediate action...

Three billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines. The computer which controlled the machines, Skynet, sent two Terminators back through time. Their mission: to destroy the leader of the human resistance, John Connor, my son. The first Terminator was programmed to strike at me in the year 1984, before John was born. It failed. The second was set to strike at John himself when he was still a child. As before, the resistance was able to send a lone warrior, a protector for John. It was just a question of which one of them would reach him first.

In 1991, Terminator 2 Judgment Day, tells whatever happened to Sarah Connor(Linda Hamilton) and her child John Connor(Edward Furlong) when they're faced with another threat from the future. This film is a perfect 10, because it takes the vision of one of the most imaginative directors on Earth, and realizes them almost perfectly with all the tools that fit the task -- actors, stunts, puppetry, models, and CG. Without the vision, this film would be nothing. Without the tools, this film would be nothing.

Judgment Day is here to stay...

...Not in our watch fuckers!

But, a little bit of background is due. This is the sequel to the Terminator (1984), whose premise was that a near-indestructible cyborg is sent by evil self-aware machines from the near future to destroy the mother-to-be of the military commander who would lead the humans to a victory over the machines. Oh, and this terminator machine would come from a time of war between men and machines which followed a nuclear exchange that left billions of people dead, first. In Terminator 2, John Connor (the commander-to-be) is about 12 years old, and his mother (Sarah) is feverishly trying to prepare him for his fate, even as she tries to stop the factors that will lead to the nuclear war and the entire terrible future that made all this necessary. The machines now send a superior, more intelligent, shape-shifting cyborg (T-1000) into the past, to kill John himself. Meanwhile, future-John reprograms a T-101 Terminator (just like the one from the original film) and sends him into the past to PROTECT John against the T-1000.

That's your basic plot. It does involve travel into the past, so it immediately presents a time-travel paradox which can't really be resolved. In order to even try watching this movie, you MUST LOOK PAST THE PARADOX. If you don't, this movie has zero credibility, and is not worth your time.

Man & Machine against the future.

Skynet, you're about to meet your maker.

What happens after the two terminators appear in the past is a wild ride rife with macho action, dark reflection on the nature of man, and a few rays of hope, here and there. Schwarzenegger (the good terminator) and Patrick (the bad one) make for such effective foes that the times they meet on-screen are completely breathtaking (and odd, given that you repeatedly see the relatively slim T1000 through Arnie through a wall or two). Hamilton, as Sarah Connor, is a wonderful character -- tough beyond all belief and completely focused on preventing the nuclear war and ensuring John's safety, yet clearly a little out of her mind with paranoia and anger; amazingly, you see actual character development (specifically, when John and T101 arrive at Dyson's house to prevent her from doing what she wants to) in her otherwise 2-dimensional character. And Furlong, as John, is not bad himself as the extroverted kid who's confused by the fact that everyone except his mom tell him his entire upbringing was based on a lie. The bit players all do their jobs well, particularly Earl Boen who plays the semi-sadistic mental hospital warden that stands between Sarah Connor and her son (until the T1000 makes a chilling entrance).
With these players set in motion, it's up to the script to deliver the real substance of the movie. (One often sees great performances in mediocre films... here the story transcends the performances -- an impressive feat.) The script delivers. The film is absolutely filled with great, classic moments, and they're evenly spaced through the movie. I mean, who doesn't cheer (at least inside) when Arnold steps out of the biker bar, fully clad in leather when "Bad to the Bone" music starts to blast? The guy absolutely bleeds coolness. And the T1000 absolutely bleeds evil. But, with so many great moments, you'd think the pacing would be a little uneven... not really! The film shifts from place to place with an ease that makes perfect sense, never giving you the time to start being a little nitpicking jerk, always driving forward, but always doing so thoughtfully and with attention to detail.

Boy it's hot in 1991.

Nope!

Of course, this wouldn't be an action movie without some action. There's plenty of it, and it's perfectly done. The CG effects for the shape-shifting T1000 were cutting-edge for the time, and still look great (whoever said differently is simply incorrect) -- even if they're completely commonplace today. The stunts are completely insane in scale (at one point, a helicopter flies under a highway overpass; at another, a motorcycle jumps from the 2nd floor of a building into a flying chopper). (Probably, only the Matrix and the Lord of the Rings movies compare in terms of the level of stunt insanity.) And the gunplay is delivered in perfect Cameron-Schwarzenegger style (as opposed to the slo-mo John Woo-style) -- you'll see lots of heavy automatic and explosive weapons, and you'll see them used well. The film is violent, and somewhat bloody, but ALL of the mean-spirited violence is dealt by the evil characters, not the ones you root for (Quentin Tarantino fans: sorry). And then the truly amazing scenes that bypass acting are shocking and memorable -- just wait until the nuclear detonation sequence.

Unlike many Sci-Fi films, T2 not only offers the viewer a stunning collection of action sequences packed with magnificent special effects. What makes the sequel better than its predecessor is the fact that we get to see a lot of character development as the film develops to the climax.  For instance, Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton takes her acting skills to the limit here) is being held captive in a mental institution because, you know, nobody would buy her machines-killing humans-through time travel-story. through her performance you not only see her struggle, you can feel her pain. Then there's John Connor (Furlong) a kid in his teens, playing arcade, listening to Public Enemy, and trying to be cool while doing stunts only teens are amazed at. He thinks his mother is crazy, and hates his foster parents but everything changes when he finds himself in the middle of a bike chase of proportions. But wait, that's not all! even the T-101, a cyborg, a heartless machine offers character development as he's reset by Sarah Connor to allow him to learn human language & behavior on the go.

Die human scum!

What? can't we have a little fun?

The secondary characters, although with very little on screen time, do deliver convincing performances. Robert Patrick as the antagonist T-1000 depicts a heartless machine with brutal AI.

Music also plays a relevant role here, what can be more 90's than featuring songs from "Use Your Illusion I & II" from Guns ´n´Roses?  Well, maybe the Arcade Center adds up for more 90's nostalgia love. Had this movie being premiered after September 1991 I'm sure the soundtrack would have definitely featured Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains & Soundgarden.

 

I'm not sure what else you would want in a movie. Probably moral content, and the movie has a very clear pro-human, anti-war message. The message is a bit stale, and the delivery IS, at times, a little heavy-handed (and some moments with the T101 seem just a bit unrealistic, towards the end), but the movie has heart, and that you cannot deny. Plus, it simply rocks. 10/10

Here's the movie trailer:

And Guns 'n' Roses popular tune:

Profondo Rosso: Deep Red

Halloween  marathon? This is n°1 in your list.

Since Halloween is just around the corner, the S.P.A.M. Alternative team has lately been reviewing wonderful horror films for your enjoyment and "add to cart" list for partying hard with friends and forkin easy gals after a couple of drinks. Today's entry is 1975's Profondo Rosso, AKA Deep Red, a lesson on how a good horror film is made based sorely on creativity rather than on budget and (I puke just by typing this) CGI.  I'm pretty sure everyone's planning a party with the horror classics from the 80's (Fredy Krueger, Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers, you know the type) BUT, truth be told, all those American horror classics we remember so fondly wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the original source from which they plagiarized a lot of stuff: The Italian Giallo genre.

 

Deep Red is the favourite Argento film of many fans mainly because it has a coherent plot with genuine scares and comedy thrown in along the way. It also paves the way for Suspiria in the use of colours and interiors/buildings, especially the beautiful haunted house, as part of Argento's renowned aesthetic.

Frequently Argento's killers do not seem credible because the plot does not contain a narrative, typically supplementing narrative for set killing scenes instead. In Deep Red there are the same killing scenes but they are better connected to the story of the killer (or killers).

Mediums & charlatans.

Yes, dolls in horror are a thing of the past.

Briefly a former actress, who is a paranoid schizophrenic, murders her husband when he suggests she should seek further psychiatric help. The murder is witnessed by their young son, Carlo(Gabriele Lavele). This scene is part of the denouement as the film begins 20 years later with a psychic inadvertently stumbling across the identity of the woman, who in turn murders the psychic to keep her identity and previous murder hidden. This first death is witnessed by Marcus (David Hemmings) as he returns home, bumping into Carlo who, coincidentally, plays piano in a local bar. Marcus rushes to assist the dying psychic unaware that as he does he glimpses the killer reflected in a mirror in the apartment. Marcus investigates the psychic's murder as he is constantly niggled by an elusive memory of something important - namely the face he glimpsed in the mirror.

The way Marcus glimpses the killer is the cleverest detail in this film. The killer, unable to exit the apartment before Marcus appears, poses as one of a number of faces in a painting. This is what Marcus sees reflected in the mirror. Later when he looks again the painting troubles him because he knows it is different somehow but does not realize it's missing the face of the killer. This detail is usually missed on first viewing of the film and its revelation, towards the end, rightly inspires admiration of Argento.

Don't fucking die on me!

...and it's gone!

One theme of the film is femininity and its connection to mental health and/or evilness. Marcus's sidekick in the investigation is Gianni, an ambitious female reporter played by Daria Nicolodi in her first collaboration with Argento. She speaks of her independence at various points in the film whilst bemoaning being single and arm wrestles Marcus to show her strength in one of their many comedy moments. There are suspicions she might be the killer throughout the film though ultimately she proves to be a benign female presence.

The antagonist and murderess is Carlo's glamorous agreeing mother who seems absentmindedly narcissistic, repeatedly confusing Marcus with being an engineer whilst lauding her past achievements. She is described as evil and childish and we see her playing, as a child might, with dolls enacting deaths she then perpetrates on her real life victims. Her death at the end is suitably gruesome and presents her as somewhat pathetic. A question remains as to how much Carlo might have been involved with his mother's murderous antics. Carlo is a disturbed young man drinking himself to an early death. Likely the consequence of witnessing his father's murder and living with his disturbed mother.

Girls who read get me horny.

Phone sex? bring it on!

The theme of femininity and evil is furthered by the caretaker's daughter. Her father minds the haunted house that contains important clues. We see him brutalise his daughter and her respond with the torturing and killing of a lizard. With her Argento sows the seeds of another female child mind with murderous intent.

The effects upon this young girl and Carlo of maladaptive parenting reflect a serious side to Argento's screen writing that is easy to overlook amidst the fantastic carnage and he comes closest to psychologically exploring what makes a serial killer in Deep Red than in any of his other films. This elevates the film above a stylish gore-fest.

There are two cuts available of the film: the director's cut is about 20 minutes longer and the better of the two as it lingers more with the narrative that makes this a coherent and intelligent film.

I know who the killer is!

Murdering eye.

Profondo Rosso has been praised many times as the number one film in Dario Argento's filmography, I for one, have a hard time deciding whether it's Suspiria or the aforementioned. Anyways, this is film making at its finest, believe you me, any film that has Argento's signature on it won't disappoint, moreover, any Italian film from the 70's will give you a 101 lesson on what a good movie feels like. So if you're looking for a different Halloween movies night, please add this to your cart.

Here's the movie trailer: