Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

As Tarantino intended.

Yes, I haven't written as many reviews as I used in the past five years. Not because I haven't watched anything since then, but most likely because social networks have completely taken over the world of reviews with their youtubers and tiktokers sharing their biased, sometimes lacking, viewpoints.

On the other hand, written reviews have also been monopolized by paywalls that have dubious experts polishing the latest turds. Moreover, and this is the end of my rant, they say the movie industry is dying because of streaming services that know their viewers all too well: Short stories with the simplest so that they can continue doom-scrolling their socials while the actors on screen have explained their reasons for doing what they're doing for the tenth time on several episodes. 

Quentin Tarantino has got to be one of the last filmmakers that truly love cinema. Not only is he a director, but also a curator with surgeon knife precision, when it comes to bringing a script to life through some of the most memorable characters we have seen on screen since the early 90s. Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair is a gargantuan 4 hour and 36 minute experience not for the faint of the heart. Or at least, not for those in deep need of checking their phone screens every 5 minutes. 

Behind the blood bath.

They call her One Eye.

Seeing this film on the big screen 23 years after its original premiere, feels refreshing, compelling, and satisfactory. It's no secret the movie industry has been going down since the superhero craze. Now, all you see on screen is either a children's flick, an exhausted new superhero film, a lame remake, and that's pretty much it. People no longer remember going to the movies as a cultural act. An act of appreciating art in the room that was designed to bring the experience to life like no other place would.  Now, they're a bunch of couch potatoes on their phones while the TV is on. 

Kill Bill is one of the best films of all time. It is a homage to everything Tarantino loves about the film industry, and he knows his audience very well. Casual movie goers would neither think about the quality of a film, nor their artistic value. Seeing Kill Bill is seeing samurai films from the 1950s, martial arts B-movies from the 60s, obscure revenge films from the 70s, and slashers from the 80s. All with the twist of having a marvelous script with wonderful characters, and actors that excel at bringing such characters to life. No matter when you experienced Kill Bill for the first or the last time. You will forever remember its characters and plot.

Tarantino & Thurman promoting the "after credits scene".

 

Most beautiful celluloid assassin.

Once we got to the intermission, a girl no older than 20 asks me "Excuse me folk, what is an intermission?" and I replied "it means you have a 15 minute break". So she and her friend went out, like the majority of viewers did. This is where I realized: "Quentin Tarantino has achieved the legendary level". New generations are discovering his films for the first time, and regardless of not grasping every reference, or context from years past, they get they're watching a quality film that was made with durability in mind.  The majority of the people that were there, must have been 20 to 30 years old. The older viewers, like myself, a proud 44 year older, must have been the least in the room. I don't blame them, sitting for four hours straight, is not an easy task. Although I was prepared with my large bucket of popcorn and Sprite Zero, the intermission felt like the coming of a lifeboat. I could stand up, and walk for a little. 

Time for a walk.

"Now, We return to Kill Bill".

Does Kill Bill: TWBA feature extra/new scenes? 

Yes, it does. For the part we used to call "Volume 1" there is an expanded animated scene where we see Oren Ishii avenge his parents from every murdering bastard that was in the scene. I gotta admit, it didn't feel like filler at all. It could have been in the original version with no issues. Other minor shots appear when Beatrix Kiddo is fighting the crazy 88 in the restaurant, but you have to be quick, because these new angles go fast. Moreover, the famous fight, which was spent in black & white in the original cut, is now back to its bloody colorful massacre original intention. Gallons of blood are all over the screen, and I couldn't help but laugh, at youngsters being horrified with some of the most gruesome deaths.  

Unlike other old films brought back to theaters for anniversary celebrations, Kill Bill's return has got nothing to do with celebrating nostalgia. It is, let's say the "director's cut" we never got to see in 2003. A movie with such long runtime would mean theaters would technically lose money showing one instead of two films in a four hour time frame. Fast forward to 2026, and we can easily list films that are longer than 3 and even 5 hours! Two quick examples: The Batman & Zack Snyder's Justice League.

Last Duel.

 

Easy peasy.

Does Kill Bill: TWBA feels like a better film compared to the two original volumes?

No, it does not. The original volumes are the same movie only without the expanded animé scene. Moreover, this new take removes completely the opening black & white credits where Beatrix Kiddo is driving retelling what happened on volume 1 and where she's heading. Save for that, Volume 2 plays in its entirety as does volume 1 with a few added minutes. The seamless experience was already there in the original version of both films.  

Overall, a reminder of what great films used to be when the industry cared about art, and it wasn't force-fed into an algorithm that seems nearly impossible to avoid.

 

 

 

Kill Bill, Volume 2

Vengeance comes to its end.

Continuing with the great movie Kill Bill is,  it is time to close the curtain with part 2, AKA Kill Bil, Volume 2.  In the first volume, released only a few months before "Vol. 2" in the tail end of 2003, we met The Bride (probably Uma Thurman's greatest impersonation ever) one deadly woman trained in the arts of killing. "Vol. 1" is all about the killing the unnamed bride has to go through to meet her final worst enemy: Bill. Volume 1, had a lot of blood, violence, and wisecracks, and raged across the screen like a mad V8 engine.

However, Volume 2 (fortunately) doesn't repeat  what happened in Volume 1 giving fans more expectation instead of the "oh, yeah, she's gonna kill again" It makes sense it's a separate movie; the tone is such a departure from "Vol. 1" in two ways. One is style. Director Tarantino has fun stylistically quoting Sergio Leone (kill yourself now if you don't know who this man is) and chop-fu cheapos from the late 1960s and early 1970s. Cinematic sampling is something he's good at and enjoys, but in "Vol. 2" he doesn't go as overboard as he does in "Vol. 1." He pulls back and lets the plot breathe, rather than filling every spare second with a homage-cum-parody that maybe a dozen lucky fans will get. Maybe some here wish he'd pile it on a bit more, but they have to make do with the goofy Pei Mai sequence, which is a flashback and hence not jarring in its "Vol. 1"-style comic-book treatment. Throughout "Vol. 2" the emphasis is on storytelling and character-building, which is where it should be given we are now being asked to deepen our commitment of interest to these people. "Vol. 1" is okay for what it is, but its flash and action are no match for the depth and nuance of "Vol. 2."

In part II we learn how Pai Mei trained the bride.

Bud won't be so happy to see the bride again.

Elle Driver, a tribute to Thriller, a Cruel Picture.

This gets to the second different tonal difference between the films, which is emotional. It all comes back to the characters. They don't quite become real people here, but they get close enough to get under your skin. Admittedly, the opening part of "Vol. 2" tests the viewer's patience a bit, there's some long bits that show the director hasn't really mastered self-discipline, like with Thurman's graveyard struggle, but the meandering usually has a purpose. Tarantino is building toward something here that has its payoff when Thurman's character finally has her face-to-face showdown with Carradine's Bill.

From that moment forward to the end, this is the best Tarantino has ever been.

Carradine and Thurman dominate the proceedings with two of the finest performances I've seen, certainly the best Tarantino has directed, playing off the mythology we've been taught in "Vol. 1" and developing resonances with the viewer both together and apart which will surprise those expecting a casual butt-kicking affair. We finally find out what Carradine means in the first line of "Vol. 1" where he tells a whimpering victim he is being masochistic, not sadistic, and its a powerful revelation, that this sinister baddie may have a heart buried under that cold exterior. Carradine is perfect in his phrasing, his pauses, the tired glint in his eye, or the way he says "Kiddo." You can't ask for a better veteran performance. For her part, Thurman presents a brilliantly conflicted character who can not stop either hating or loving Bill, and brings us not into a world of cartoon anguish, but real human pain.

a Hattori hanzo katana.

Bill is the man.

Bill, your time has come.

"Kill Bill Vol. 2" is slow-moving, and needs "Vol. 1" in a way few sequels do, since it assumes you know nearly all the characters coming in. That's a weakness. So are some undeniably pointless bits, including the entire sequence with Bill's father figure, Esteban Vihaio, and some business at a bar involving Michael Madsen, who plays a former assassin now gone to seed.

Madsen's good, though, and so's Daryl Hannah as another rather mouthy assassin, Gordon Liu as Pei Mei, and especially Perla Haney-Jardine as a girl named B.B. The nice thing with Tarantino is for every scene that strikes a bum note, there's four or five that hit the right mark, and some manage to do much more. My favorite scene involves a Mexican standoff in an L.A. hotel room between Thurman's character and an anonymous hitwoman, at once grippingly suspenseful, hilarious, and life-affirming. Still, it's the final moments of this film that will stay with you, as Bill and his former pupil work out their "unfinished business" and we are left to ponder the results of their decisions and actions.

BB lives!!

The final battle.

"Kill Bill Vol. 2" should definitely be considered as a masterpiece, it deserves it.  Why these kind of films never enter the serious arena of master pieces is beyond me. Remember Kill Bill is just one movie, splitted for the convenience of the movie making industry, and be careful cause volume 3 will arrive sooner than later, as Tarantino has already stated.

Here's the movie trailer:

Kill Bill, Volume 1

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I left Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction as the final Tarantino movies to review in purpose, cause I just love these films too much and I don't want to spoil the review in the sense of some "sucky dicky guy" praising these movies as the ultimate of the ultimate greatest of the greatest movies of all times. Kill Bill is my wife's favorite Tarantino film and I don't blame her, cause here women do get the place they deserve as strong heroic/evil characters. Now, do I think this movie is absolutely brilliant? Absolutely. Do I think this is the all time greatest movie ever made by Quentin Tarantino? maybe, just maybe. If you checked IMDB, cinema websites and awesome cult movies blogs (yeah such as my humble blog) you definitely found the neverending battle between people who either hate this movie or people that think it's the greatest film ever made. Even more interesting (or stupid if that's your point of view) is the apparently pointless battle between fans of Volumes 1 and 2. If I was asked I would say that discussion is as stupid as thinking you can make a war for the cause of peace. Why? because Kill Bill is just one movie! Quentin Tarantino always said it was one movie, and due to its running time it had to be splitted into two chapters, AKA volumes, you know no movie theaters in the world would have showcased almost four hours of a single movie, that's worth two tickets dudes!  So, the Volume 1 and Volume 2 is simply a matter of the industry of film making rather than an act of art.

If you were to find a tribute film, probably this one would be the number one tribute movie ever made. Quentin Tarantino pays homage to his favorite genres, movies, characters, music and almost to everything he considers worth spending time on. Some fans reacted to Kill Bill in a very bad mood, stating this movie is a rip off of many other obscure cult films and that it just doesn't deserve a single positive opinion. Not my opinion. To state someone is fraud cause he's paying homage to other films isn't fair. New culture is built around past culture, as well as cool music and great gadgets, so we do need to look at the past from time to time to build even greater cultural manifestations, so please don't be squared! think before you act.

I'm gonna cut you in two you piece of shit.

The deadly assasination viper squad.

Now, let's get down to business, Kill Bill involves a nameless woman (gorgeous Uma Thurman) who is slowing seeking revenge on her former hit squad the Viper Squad and her boss Bill (David Caradine, master of martial arts, living legend) Her former hit squad wronged her by gunning down her closest friends and family during her wedding and putting her into a coma while being pregnant. A few years later she awakens in a hospital, without her apparently unborn child, and tries to track down each member of the squad. As the story progresses (through this film and the sequel), you find out who she really, why Bill wanted her dead and the fate of her daughter.

The movie is really a combination of Tarantino's love for the 70's over-dramatized Kung-Fu movie era and story of revenge with rich dialog. Yes, this movie is violent, but in a cheesy way. This created some controversy and really had audiences stirred up, failing to realize it was supposed to be over the top without no sense of realism. Like I said, it was supposed to be a tribute more so than a gruesome action flick. With all cheesiness aside, I can understand how some people could feel a little woozy after seeing someone lose an arm and having 4 gallons of Kool-Aid red blood shoot out of the body like a whale's blow hole. What really makes this movie is Tarantino ability to make bad to mediocre actors seem like good ones, a smart and hilarious dialog and a good storyline. Of course, this is what he does in pretty much in all of his movies.

Japanese School Teen.

Yes, there is an anime portion in the movie.

O Ren Ishii.

There are various plot holes in the story, but we are really meant to ignore them unlike most movies. Just like the gory scenes, come to grips to the fact that the most of the implausibilities are there just to fill in the gaps of the movie. The movie also features a couple of classic Tarantino showdowns, including an unforgettable one with the Japanese infamous crime lord, O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Lui.) Once again, Tarantino puts his imagination at work again in his story telling by using some of his old techniques like jumping timelines and some new ones like adding Japanese animation for character backgrounds.

I wouldn't really recommend this film to someone who is really not from the Pulp Fiction era or a connoisseur of the world of the 70's exploitation films. This film is really just homage to flicks that frequently appear on Sunday Samurai Showcase, revenge and Tarantino's continuous fascination with Uma Thurman. This film contains extreme violence and sometimes strange dialog coupled with some pretty good acting and directing. If you're not a fan of Tarantino's films, you should pass on this one because it doesn't stray too far from his other stuff. If you like his other works, this is a must see due to its originality and quality. And, if you just don't like Tarantino himself, and find him annoying like everybody else, I don't blame you but, fuck you!

The Final Battle.

Bill, the mean guy.

Here's the movie trailer, and wait for the upcoming volume 2 review:

Hell Ride

Vintage style movie poster.

When we find ourselves in the middle of the celebration season I have nothing left to do but to look for a movie that celebrates the exploitation genre by paying homage to the long forgotten bikers movie genre. Hell Ride, a movie from 2008 written, directed and starred by Larry Bishop is nothing but a compilation of the many clichés that made exploitation such a commercial success back in the 60's & 70's. The film doesn't add anything new to the genre, so while you may find thousands of negative reviews about this flick I tell you, there was a reason for having Quentin Tarantino himself presenting the movie: Exploitation Fandom. This movie is not for average people, it is meant to be enjoyed by the connoisseurs of the genre, so if you have no clue about the golden years of the exploitation genre you will definitely not like the movie at all. However it is my filthy job to help you understand this entertaining tribute Hell Ride is.

Michael Madsen is a great actor, he does a great job, he's experienced.

Tough guys will be tough guys.

Honestly, as someone literally stated at the IMDB forums "God Bless Quentin Tarantino for commissioning Lary Bishop to make this movie" It's about time somebody made a real biker movie again, but amped up to even more sleazy, ridiculous, and glorious levels than anything produced during the Golden Age of the Bikers movies released between 1966 and 1974. I would put this one up there with The Wild Angels as one of the best biker flicks ever put to celluloid.

The plot and storyline are quite simple, tight, and move like Speed Racer's Mach 5: fast! It's a short movie and it flies by. Every frame is filled with action, menace and bad-ass attitude. All the characters are interesting and well-portrayed, if sleazy, intense, and uncompromising.

There's plenty of sex and the body count is high, but none of it feels gratuitous: these are violent people walking a razor's edge, tieing up lose ends that have been plaguing their lives for many decades. It's all an organic part of the tale, and damn! dames are hot in this one.

Fuck that ass dude!

The opening titles feature nude sluts & sex, my kind of movie!

Asian Twat

Larry Bishop pulls off the lead role with cool detachment, and Michael Madsen is great, doing what he does best, all cocky swagger and easy dominance of the screen. Great performances all around. David Carradine doesn't have much to do, but at least he is here. Great to see Dennis Hopper on a motorcycle once again! Wearing the fringe jacket! Maybe for the last time? I hope not.

Do notice the trademarked Tarantino shot of looking up from inside the small enclosed box. I guess Larry got permission from Quentin to do that. Or maybe Quentin himself filmed it; I believe he did a small amount of second-unit shooting on this film. You'll know it when you see it, it's in the last scene of the movie. I just had to laugh when I saw that shot. The Tarantino stamp all the way. If I didn't know any better, I could have been convinced that Q. actually directed this joint.

Sex Parties!

Lovely pussies.

Fuck that ass man!

Girls wear clothes for a while in the film.

If you are in any way, shape or form, a fan of biker movies, or Quentin Tarantino, or extreme film-making, or classic drive-in movie fare, you MUST check out this ride. This is one HELL RIDE you will not soon forget. The DVD and Blu-Ray are very cheap at Amazon's online store so go and get while you can!

Here's the movie trailer:

By the way! Happy holidays! 

Death Race 2000

Movie poster.

Immediately after the classic "Kung Fu" TV show was finished, David Carradine set himself to become a decent movie actor rather than being considered the neverending chinese good tempered hero he used to be. So, how about everyone's mind forgetting about the chinese good guy by seeing Mr. Carradine becoming the evil twisted hero of a classic cult creation? 

Deathrace 2000 is the 20th anniversary of the murderous trans-continental road race, or, in the words of the US president "what you all want". 

The ultimate modern America.

You could lose this film in the repertoire of John Carpenter. If you're a Carpenter fan, you really need to see this. Much is made of Corman's production of this film, but this is really not a Corman film in any sense - except for its very obviously low budget. Paul Bartel (of Eating Raoul fame) deserves the directorial credit here, and he really did well given the mediocrity of the material he had to work with, but don't be confused by these statement since this movie did really really well after the low budget they had to work with. The storyline being extremely simple proves to be entertaining from start to finish, and the whole idea of a twisted nation celebrating a road race where racers increase their winning possibilites by running over toddlers, pregnant mothers and the elder in town looks and feels very sound minded these days.

Frankestein, my kind of hero.

The storyline is about a race involving five participants - Frankenstein (Carradine), "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo (Stallone), Calamity Jane (Woronov), Mathilda the Hunn, and Nero the Hero. They are joined by navigators (race assistants) who double as concubines, which, I suppose, illustrates the trust and intimacy a driver must have with any partner involved in a high speed transcontinental race where the goal is to kill as many pedestrians as possible along the way. About a quarter of the way through the film, you realize the movie is not just about car racing but finding out the real story is about the connection between the US government, religion, mass-produced violence and a small resistance movement, all focused on either supporting or shutting down the race once and for all. As despicable as the empowered elite may be in this film, the critique of the media is even more scathing.

Stallone before becoming Rocky & Rambo.

Carradine is race hero Frankenstein. Stallone plays his arch-rival Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, and an ensemble cast of fellow racers, media mavens, politicians, and willing and unwilling victims of "the great race" lend strong support. The acting is not the greatest of the greatest for  a B movie, but the occasional pacing disaster just enhances the sick humor-value of this flick. 

Stallone is constantly raging looking for a way to get rid of Frankestein and his sidekick  is constantly cheering him up on that matter. Carradine is typically bizarre, and even parodies himself with a few poorly choreographed kung fu techniques during his absurd fight scene with Stallone. As short as he is, Stallone is still a much larger and more fit man than Carradine, but gets handily whooped, probably due to the mechanical right hand  Carradine's supposed to have.

Nazi racers?

Security was N°1 priority for the dressing of each racer.

70's future wardrobe.

The script for this film is a series of well-delivered clichés put together with  choreographed racing action sequences. As such, it parodies tough-guy talk in films and in real life. The photography is excellent, and on par with John Carpenter's straightforward visual subtlety.

Top quality massage for the racers.

This film appears, at first blush, as a comedic celebration of violence. But it's really a very campy comment on the use of violence in sport and entertainment, as a way to distract and desensitize the public from serious issues such as economic stress, collectivist totalitarianism, the enshrinement of mediocrity, and "minority privilege"

These cars & movie inspired the famous PC game Karmageddon.

The political messages are worth hearing, the humor is worth every penny you pay for renting it or buying a copy to your private video library, and watching it for the first time will make enjoy it from start to finish.

In style blood loving journalist from the future.

to finish today's awesome movie review a quote from David Carradine himself explaining why he chose to be Frankenstein:

"I started that picture two weeks after I walked off the 'Kung Fu' set, and that was essentially my image, the 'Kung Fu' character, and a lot of people still believe I'm that guy. The idea actually was: No. 1, if you walk off a television series, you better do a movie right away or you might never get to do one. And the second thing was to do something right away that would create the image of a monster to get rid of the image of that little Chinese guy that I'd been playing for four years. And, you know, it did kick-start my movie career."

A woman's job.

New Mr. President's fast car.

The same instructions manual inspired Karmageddon's game play.

Does my suit turn you on?

Frankenstein's cool car also spotted on the Karmageddon PC game saga.

Not your average race assistant.

And last but not least, the movie trailer from a wonderful experience everyone should check soon:

These film was re-released last year as a part of the Roger Corman's Cult Classics collection now fully transfered to HD in a deluxe Blu-Ray disc, featuring a booklet with plenty of pics, info and an interview with Corman himself, plus a two sided movie cover for your viewing pleasure.

Blu-Ray ultimate edition.

A must have for any fan of drive-in movies, B-movies, exploitation movies (yes, there are tits and hairy twats)

See you on the next movie review which will be about 1977's italian classic "Mad Dog" or originally "La Belva Col Mitra"