Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy

The first ever porn parody?

A few days ago a member from an old all things cult forum asked me if I had ever reviewed "Alice in Wonderland", and I was like, "sure mate, I'll give you the link later". To my surprise, there was no review, and then I realized why I hadn't made a review of such a rarity of a film: I didn't have the uncut version of the film and was still looking for it. The uncut version is, as you've probably guessed by now, the one that comes with the real sex scenes, which the original cut had plenty of, since the movie was intended to be the first hardcore porn film with a big budget and a story. Kristine DeBell, the star of the film, spent years denying the existence of a hardcore version of the film, in which she'd performed. By the time this film was released (1976), DeBell was beginning her career as a model and had recently become a Playboy bunny. 

According to David J. Hogan's book "The Wizard of OZ FAQ," Bill Osco, the producer of "Alice in Wonderland" had originally intended to star Kristine DeBell in an X-rated parody of The Wizard of OZ to be entitled "Dirty Dorothy." He eventually decided to do a take-off on Lewis Carroll's "Alice" books instead, probably because their rights were in the public domain and there would be less risk of a copyright infringement lawsuit than with the OZ books. 

So now, let's get down to business and review this classic musical everyone should watch before they die: Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy.

Sweet little Alice, the virgin librarian.

Wonderland and some of its weirdos.

Alice (Kristine DeBell) enters in a world of wonder... but not the kind of wonder that you remember as a kid. The Mad Hatter, the White Rabbit, the Queen and others (even Tweedledee and Tweedledum) show Alice some things about her body -- and other people's bodies -- that might be quite wonderful. A tale of love and lust the likes you have never seen.

The story of how Kristine DeBell got involved with this is interesting. According to her, she was a model at the Ford Agency and saw that there were auditions for this film. She did not know what kind of movie it was, so she tried out and landed the part. Now, exactly what point she figured out what sort of movie it is is unclear, but we do know that she ended up going through with it. After all, making the movie only took ten days and a couple of fucks here and there.

Getting dry after a wet rescue.

Wonderland inhabitants show Alice how she can feel wonder too.

The producer was Bill Osco, probably best known at that point (and maybe even today) for "Flesh Gordon"(which we will review eventually). The director, Bud Townsend, had made a few horror films, "Terror House" and "Nightmare in Wax", which are largely forgotten today, even by fans of cult horror.

In "Alice", the songs are cheesy, but fit the theme of the movie. One song, "What's a Girl Like You Doing on a Knight Like This?" was pretty funny, and the others had similar themes going. The trial towards the end was well scripted, and fit very nicely into the world of Alice. The logic and humor were definitely accounted for. There is no denying it is an adult film, but one that has a certain level of intelligence.

Everyone knows how to party in Wonderland.

Even trials are an occasion to party.

What more can you say about a film like this? All I know is, for people who are used to adult films where the "plot" is just a 30-second lead-in to the sex, this one is going to overload you with plot and music. But, personally, I think there is something very special about this film and I do hope, in case you haven't watched it yet, that you do  come across the uncut version of the film that runs for 88 minutes instead of the 72 minute theatrical version. The DVD is currently out of print, but tracking it won't be that difficult. There's a double DVD version that features both the theatrical edition and the uncut version from which our review's been taken. 

In a 2012 brief interview by Metal Rules Radio, DeBell denied having performed any of the real sex scenes in Alice in Wonderland. However, a couple of scenes couldn't have possibly been acted by a body double, unless producers found an exact DeBell's doppelganger. In addition, she agrees she took part in the film because she was too young to care and/or notice what she was getting into.

In order to return to your world, you must learn the secrets of love.

Getting down to business.

DeBell's story following the film is even more interesting. She began dating producer Bill Osco, so through him, she got the lead in another cult (though not adult) film, "The Great American Girl Robbery" (1979). And who co-produced with Osco? None other than Chuck Russell, who went on to direct such films as "The Blob" and "Nightmare on Elm Street 3"! 

I don't see how Kristin DeBell's career could be wrecked by this film, as it was her first film. And Ronald Reagan's tiresome hypocrisies had yet to mar this land when it was released, but in a way he and his stooge Meese did affect Ms DeBell. When Meese was staging his anti-pornography commission (to distract people from his own criminal activities), Meese hired the services of an anti-porn activist named Judith Reisner. Reisner was obsessed with images she perceived as child pornography. She saw the "Alice" cover Ms DeBell did for Playboy and promptly announced she had scientifically proven that Ms DeBell was in fact a photo collage of parts from several grown women and the face of a ten year old. Yeah, right...

Anyway, DeBell escaped the world of adult films and b-movie schlock, appearing in "Meatballs" and being a mildly successful star ever since.

Blowing for some cum.

Back on Earth.

Plotwise, the film follows the stages of sexual discovery since Alice first becomes aware of her own body and what she can do to cum by herself. Then she goes into blowjobs, lesbian sex, and a whole lot more in order to be able to return to her real world and fully understand & fulfill her boyfriend's natural needs.

Alice in Wonderland: an X-Rated Musical Fantasy is what porn used to be, this is a true classic. I mean, it is an x-rated musical based on an actual book! There is a real plot to it and how many x-rated movies can boast that these days? This belongs in an exclusive short-list of true pornographic movie classics, including Debby Does Dallas, Deep Throat, and Behind the Green Door. I think the problem with "pornographic movies" these days is that it's all about the "pornographic" and not about the "movie". Alice in Wonderland has graphic depictions of sex, sure, but it is actually telling a story at the same time. Not one of the typical "Oh, Mr. Police Man, don't write me a ticket" plots, this takes it another step further and makes it a musical! Fabulous! If you want to see an example of "good" porn, this is one of the best. 

Oh Alice, I  knew you could swallow!

Kristine DeBell: All American beauty.

What makes this film such a delightful jaunt is its garden like setting. Partly filmed in the lush, natural splendor of Vancouver B.C.'s Stanley Park, the movie belies its pornographic roots. You don't come away feeling you've watched a sleazy skin flick. At this writing, I haven't viewed the triple XXX version. The extra sex footage tacked on afterward would, in all probability, disrupt the overall flow and remove the light, breezy atmosphere evident throughout.

Naturally, the Lewis Carroll version is the best way to curl up and explore Alice's adventures in Wonderland. However, for a time capsule representing 1970s' adult film archives, Alice in Wonderland: an X-Rated Musical Fantasy is worth following that white rabbit for a ribald ride full of mirthful mayhem. 

Here's the 2012 interview where DeBell talks briefly about the film:

Here's the movie trailer:

Girl from Starship Venus

Aliens from the future will study human sexuality.

Following our sleazy past entries we continue exploring the Sci-Fi meets sexploitation trend with Girl from Starship Venus, AKA The Sexplorer.

A long time exponent of cheap sexploitation and horror cinema, Derek Ford (The Wife Swappers, Groupie Girl, Diversions) directs German actress/model Monika Ringwald in an intergalactic travel to discover Earth pleasures. Aliens from Venus land their spaceship slap bang in the middle of Soho in 1975's UK, but their arrival comes with more of a whimper than a bang,as their spaceship is nothing more than a minute silver sphere, or something since the copy we've got to review looked like a VHS rip of the worst quality. Anyway, One of the aliens materializes in the form of a nude German-accented girl (Monika) while another Venusian stays on board the silver sphere/spaceship and continually yaks to her. Here's where we get to the funniest pun intended joke in the film, Our nude lead is asked to check on her new body and see if there is a thing called "mustache" which she eventually finds in her bush! hilarious! 

The VHS tape.

An alternate poster with the Sexplorer title.

When two airhead masseuses find her wandering around their massage parlor starkers they think she's the shell-shocked victim of a clothes snatcher and send her on her way in a pea-green masseuse's uniform and a fiver in her pocket. Monika goes on to scare a man by entering a urinal and eyeing his 'large probe' while her attempts at directing traffic in a high street are met with the –seemingly genuine- amusement of onlookers.

Eventually she is offered a place to stay by Allan an honest, understanding kind of a guy,who spends his nights walking the streets after being ditched by his girlfriend. Scenes between them are like a flashback to the Ford scripted oldie Saturday Night Out in which a sailor has an affair with a bohemian girl and finds it difficult to cope with her eccentricities. Things really go pear shaped however when Monika's friend in the silver sphere equips her with a 'full range of sensory organs' which has the unintended effect of causing her to roll around naked allot. A turn of events that gets the voice of the sphere into a huff,whining 'decease forthwith…it's dirty...I absolutely forbid it' like an irate film-censor.

Hey ladies!

They say Aliens give intergalactic proportions head!

While on the surface it looks like a single-joke movie (alien is mistaken for sexy foreign girl and inspires reprobate reactions like 'you Scandinavians don't beat about the bush, do you') The Sexplorer is actually one of Derek Ford's better sex comedies with his self-penned script showing an uncharacteristic amount of inventiveness and wit . Alongside farcical misunderstandings and more nudity than you can shake a 'large probe' at,the film's funniest and freakiest moment finds Monika being offered a drink in a strip-club which has the side-effect of turning her green from head to toe (complete with spray painted Afro-wig). As one character remarks-'she's bloody green as a traffic light'. Ford also shows where his heart lay by throwing in lots of location work-night-time shots of Soho and Piccadilly Circus and scenes taking place in grimy men's toilets and nicotine stained launderettes make The Sexplorer a great 1970's London film. The most enduring aspect of The Sexplorer though,remains its theme song which the late Don Lang belts out on the soundtrack several times. Lang-born Gordon Langhorn-was a trumpeter by trade who played on the Beatles White Album and even had a whiff of top ten success in the late fifties. Here Yorkshire's answer to Bill Haley serenades The Sexplorer with 'she's the girl from Star Ship Venus,she's arrived from outer space,and she's landed on our planet just to watch the human race. She's got turned onto permissiveness now keeps up with the pace,she's the interstellar traveler of love'.

Balloons & boobs!

This was Monika Ringwald's only lead role,though for a limited actress (to put it mildly) Monika's career brought her some diverse work. She was a model for naturist publication Health and Efficiency,appeared on The Benny Hill Show and can be seen dressed up as a 'Spiv's floozy ' on the back cover of The Kinks' 1974 concept album Preservation Act 2. Monika was also a cover girl for Witchcraft magazine 'the monthly chronicle of horror,Satanism and the occult' which juxtaposed articles on the inquisition and witch-hunting with pictorials of nude models and man wearing goats heads! Given these brushes with the occult,you might wonder if she sold her soul to appear in a Derek Ford film. While good looking, Ringwald has a sometimes hard to understand German accent and seems to have been blessed with only two facial expressions-boredom and confusion. All of which makes it tempting to view The Sexplorer as an in-joke parody of her career. The story of a lifeless,slightly 'distant' girl lost in a foreign land and surrounded by peculiar Englishmen seems as much Monika's story as it is the Sexplorer's. That may sound a tad cruel,but with autobiographical touches like having her real-life agent Alan Selwyn play a man who takes one look at her then leeringly promises 'if you've got what I think you've got under there,you'll make a very good career out of it'-its sometimes hard to interpret the film any other way.

Ultimately appearing in The Sexplorer never made Monika Ringwald a star and in 1978 she retired from showbiz to marry a car dealer. Considering the fate that befell Heather Deeley-Derek's other 'star' of 1975-Monika's is a happy ending. For their troubles Monika and Derek have even managed to accumulate one famous fan in the form of Reservoir Dogs Director Quentin Tarantino-who encountered the film aged 14 under its US incarnation The Girl from Star Ship Venus. Suitably impressed Tarantino has gone on to screen The Sexplorer at several 1990's film festivals,reviving it as a midnight movie in Austin Texas in 1996. As is the case with most of Ford's seventies output The Sexplorer also exists in a longer, hardcore version (with additional pornographic footage shot by Derek behind closed-doors in Beeleigh and Maldon) in which Miss Ringwald presumably got to research 'emotional involvement'-as its referred to in the film-in much greater depth. 

This feels so good Mr. human.

Help myself!

From the USA version poster (The Girl from Starship Venus) the film promises a lot of science fiction driven memorable scenes which, like with every exploitation film, couldn't be farther from the truth. Posters are a well known publicity stunt, and while the main character is an Alien that comes from Venus, we never really get to see any of the stuff sci-fi has us used to, save for the scene where she tries a drink that turns her entire body green and gives her an afro (?)

Overall, neither a terrible nor an excellent flick in the softcore genre of sci-fi sexploitation. The film was apparently released on DVD some years ago but I'm not quite sure of that being an official release.

Here's the main song of the film because there's no trailer:

Space Thing

Visit the planet of the rapes!

I always had a feeling Star Trek (the original series) sorta had a hidden (or not so hidden) sex charge. I mean, the costumes of most of the female characters always left little to the imagination. Futuristic mini-mini skirts, side boob dresses and skin tight fabrics were clearly a sign of a promising future in space with beautiful in shape women taking man where no man did ever go before.Obviously, everyone dreamed of these girls and some clever ones decided to build their own futuristic space adventures where there was plenty of women.Believe it or not, space sex films have been around for quite some time. As a matter of fact, today's entry will take us straight into the groovy 60's!

Space Thing, is a 1968 cult film directed by Byron Mabe (as B. Ron Elliot) and starred by Karla Conway (a playboy girl from the same year) Steve Vincent, Merci Montello & Cara Peters. The film runs for 69 minutes (no pun intended) and it's clearly the Star Trek sex charged spoof episode everyone dreamed of in the 60's. As a matter of fact, the outdoor scenes were filmed in the same place some Star Trek episodes were! talk about being a kinky trekkie!

 

Captain Mother's crew.

Col. Granilla meets the man.

It's the year 2069; Col. Granilla (Vincent) is a Planetarian (alien), an alien in human disguise so that he can infiltrate the space ship of Captain Mother (Peters), whose crew is basically made up of females that like to strut around in little clothing. These Terranians (humans) really confuse and disgust him in the way they perform their intimate ways, as most of the girls have really got it for Granilla and the feisty lesbian Captain Mother doesn't like the idea of her girls getting it on with men. So he becomes caught up in a tussle between Captain Mother, a couple girls and one of the two men who's incredibly jealous of his intentions. But there's more a greater purpose for him being on the ship and that's to stop them reaching his planet (yes, this is true despite all the T & A) 

Oh boy this should be a true stinker, just look at the film's outline. True I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but this inter-galactic, exploitation z-grade production has some sort of trashy appeal to it, because you won't see anything quite like it. That appeal would be in the slightest of doses, though. This surely would've been rated one of the worst films of all time if not for its exploitative context which is why it probably went by unnoticed. It's bad, real bad but entertaining in certain aspects of this awfulness and amateur set-up. On this occasion I would say its one of those times when the commentary on the DVD outdoes the actual feature. 

The story takes place on board spaceship Erection.

In the future we'll sit in thrash cans.

The producer David F Friedman spends the beginning talking up how bad it is and I tend to agree with him when he claims that 'Plan 9 from Outer space' has a new contender, and it really makes Plan 9 look like an epic, yep that's true. I'm not exaggerating! What we get here is buckets of female nudity and soft-core sexual acts. There's definitely no innuendo going one here! 

To begin with is a drawn out prologue involving man reading Sci-fi stories while his wife is complaining about that's all he does and she's sexually depraved. Well, not too long we get our first sexual play and then it moves into its nude space story that he might be dreaming about. It's either focusing on its cheap looking sets or that of the woman who are basically in little clothing, if none at times. Oh that might be great, but hell at times it got a bit tedious with the same old shots and actions occurring. Really, there's little if no plot but to stage one sexually passionate act and some ladies walking and lazing about in the nude after another. They seem to find an opportunity to just shove it in the film. Although don't expect it to be rather erotic, because it doesn't really have that effect. But who's to complain when the woman involved in this skin flick are rather ravishing to say the least. That especially goes to the busty Captain Mother who loves her lesbian action and (tamely) sadistic pleasure. Also were given a tongue in cheek narration, which flows throughout the feature and actually will raise a chuckle if you let it. I thought this one was of its better things, among the bad. 

I smell wet clit here.

Space pubes!

The goofy script is better off, as it plays for a comedy and it does have some moments. The way this comes across as, it's like a parody on people having sex for the first time. Well, more so a parody on sex and love education for aliens. But the actual plot is nothing but little set pieces, which are set-up to prolong the running time, that's why some do come across rather repetitive and tedious. Really nothing does come off together. Well, it's mentioned on the commentary that they had a time limit to reach and with no real story, it was always going to be a hard ask to complete.

The budget really shows. Cheap, that's very cheap. That's even if they had one? If I remember correctly the producer said on the commentary the budget was something just under $40. Yeah, I can believe that! As technically the shaky foundation is household items, with cardboard and model sets. Some props are just laughably bad that it looks all primitive with toys and conjured up items hanging by strings. The imagination truly blew me away… I wish. The only thing that had an ounce of freshness might have been how they staged the opening credits. But everything else is just plain horrifyingly inane from the soundtrack that's all over shop that it resembles that of cheesy elevator music to the disjointed and weirdly style of editing and the very intrusive camera-work that didn't venture away from its few and usual frames and angles. The constant heavy breathing during moments involving the characters getting it on had me questioning was that on camera or behind it? Both I say.

Sci-Fi over sex?

Clever opening credits.

The effects (maybe that's an overstatement?) are another story, as the explosion to end the story off seem to be out of time by already being on fire before exploding. It's a whopper! Also that spaceship, called the erection was a dish… I think (?) and sometimes seamlessly it didn't fit the size ratio that it's supposed be when on screen. There's even a moment involving a person going out to see if a planet is safe enough for them to leave their spaceship, but when he leaves the ship by it's door, there's no airlock. Therefore, possibly releasing dangerous gases into ship. Oh heck, forget about this as it was the limitations that caused this trash, but lovable trash… to some agrees;) Maybe I spent too much time on this, so I'll wrap it up.

Star Trek was huge back in the sixties, and so was Flash Gordon a decade earlier (the 70's would spawn its own parody with Flesh Gordon) and oh well, Star Wars is still great and even the galaxy far, far away has received the parody treatment in the porno genre. Maybe the one thing that would make this 60's flick is the fact that it was inspired by a quality science fiction series that did play here and there with sexual innuendo but, due to TV regulations couldn't go any further in the T&A department so, if you're like me, say, motivated to see what other trekkies thought about when the lights went out in the Enterprise, Space Thing, could be an interesting re imagining of Gene Roddenberry's universe.

Futuristic Bush.

Dicks are bad for your cunt!

Yes, this is a bad movie. Its cheaper than "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Teenagers From Outer Space" combined, features horrible acting, a screenplay which makes you wonder if the writers were in a right state of mind, and an overall feeling of tawdriness. Fortunately, its a good bad movie. Besides, unlike Ed Wood who had a lot of enthusiasm for his projects, the makers of this will readily admit that its a piece of crap that exists for the sole purpose of getting nudity on-screen. And when the final product is this entertaining and bizarre, I really don't care.

Like I said above, this is a cheap movie. The interiors of the rocket consist of about three in studio sets, the planet they land on at the end is clearly just some desert in California, and the explosions in particular are obviously pasted in later. The dialog and situations are all stereotypical softcore porn scenarios, and they're absolutely riotous. Anyone whose truly politically incorrect at heart will be in hysterics at the incredibly outdated sexism. The characters are all stock types, my favorite being the male cadet who brings to mind a young Bobcat Goldwaith.

Captain Mother knows she's the tits.

Let me diddle that skittle for you captain.

Most of all though, these nude films are unique, which is the main appeal to me. Its a cliché to say they don't make them like they used to, but that's entirely the case here. The color schemes are eye catching and almost pop art (even though that's a more pretentious label than Friedman would ever want), and bring to mind some of John Waters' early classics (the melodramatic dialog is great as well). Past the rather innocent sexual situations, the theme of the space race dates this incredibly. Its kind of like "Flesh Gordan", except even dumber and since the actors never wink at the camera, its a lot more fun than that famous midnight movie. How much you enjoy this film all depends on how intrigued or turned off you are by the plot description.

SPACE THING is one of the best known sexploitation films out there but I honestly don't see why. I guess the science fiction might bring a few people to the film who wouldn't normally watch these softcore films but there's very little here in regards to entertainment. The film was obviously shot on a shoestring budget but this adds some campy charm and especially with the ultra cheap sets. The film also manages to load up on the beautiful women and as you'd expect there's non-stop nudity from start to end.

Say, wanna suck some dick?

Hey! take it easy! I didn't force her to swallow!

Nude in space with gallons of tempting female flesh and campy dialogue, that's about it. Nothing more and nothing less. 

Here's the Something Weird official movie trailer:

 

Uden en trævl: Without a Stitch

The road to sexual happiness.

Uden  en trævl, AKA Without a Stitch is a 1968 Danish sexploitation comedy film based upon Dagbladet (something like Diary), a Norwegian novel written by Jens Bjørneboe. Directed by Annelise Meineche and starred by the all natural beauty Anne Grete Nissen, Without a Stitch is the visual adaptation of the book. Sexploitation films never looked this classy before. All the nudity and sex scenes are crafted in a way (that is naive compared to other films) you can tell the director was a woman. Most of the action happens either in broad daylight or in places where there is enough light to witness the immense natural beauty Grete has in her D.N.A. 

So, the story is about Lillian (Anne Grete Nissen) a seventeen going eighteen years old that has grown very frustrated because she can't cum when she's fucking boys.  yes, according to the book & film, the main concern of a teenager in 1968 was having an orgasm. Talk about being open minded! Maybe we should start asking our grandparents about it, well, no, that isn't a good idea... 

Nevertheless, she can easily cum while masturbating, but when a boy has a go it's just no good. Fortunately her classmate Brita (Ki-Jo Feza) knows where she can get help (after helping her out herself, as the sworn enemies discover that they can have some fun together diddling their skittles). Brita knows this doctor, Dr. Petersen (Ib Mossin, someone who looks a lot like Adam West) -- "a specialist in the orgasm" -- and Lillian entrusts herself into his care, with all the desired results.

A professional doctor goes the extra mile.

You're getting better Lillian, keep on fucking!

Without a Stitch begins with a bit of girl-on-girl action with Lillian and Brita, as well as Lillian's sex attempts with her believably inexperienced boyfriend Henry (Niels Borksand). So after try after try she ends up pissing his boyfriend off  realizing she needs urgent professional help. Thank god Brita refers her to Dr. Peterson:

     "Are you a ... man ?" I asked.
     ""Yes," he said. "A man of science. First of all, I want to help you, and secondly collect evidence, statistical evidence, on young women's orgasmic inhibitions. I'm planning a work of great impact for gynecological psychiatry. That's my field, you know."

It comes as no surprise that Dr. Petersen is a real hands-on kind of doctor -- though, as he reminds Lillian, this is serious business:

     "Oh, no," I said. "Can't you do it once more ?"
     "We're not here for the fun of it," he answered. "The government's paying for it."

Lillian's problem seems to be that she worries about what her mother and grandmother might think, causing these inhibitions that hold her back. But Dr. Petersen helps her overcome these, and instructs her in his own moral code -- which amounts to that "all sex is good (and more is apparently better ...), as long as no one is hurt or taken advantage of".So, Lillian agrees on the doctor's professional program and visits him on a daily basis while avoiding sexual contact with other man. Once the doctor has masturbated, fucked, sucked, teased, touched, and cum all over her body, he tells Lillian she's ready to have an orgasm.

I'm gonna suck your cum dry!

I'm really good at cunilingus Lillian.

What's a newly sexually uninhibited girl to do ? Hitchhike across Europe, of course. Conveniently her first ride gets her involved in making a pornographic film (they even shave her pussy) which earns her enough money ($4.000 krones) to travel in style. To prove that Lillian isn't just a mindless sex-toy, Bjørneboe (the author of the book) also has her buy some nice books with her new-found cash in order to make her a sexually opened woman that is also interested in polishing her mind.

So she has a few adventures, and even falls in love in Paris. Both the book and movie don't get too kinky, leaving only so many variations on the theme, and as with practically all sex-writing it gets fairly one-note tiresome. Good for Lillian, that she gets wet so often (pretty much everything here seems to set her off), but ultimately that just leaves the fiction feeling pretty soggy. 

Yes, they will cum on your face and you'll swallow.

Double penetration! just what the doctor ordered!

Without a Stitch is fairly harmless erotic fun. The innocent-girl side to it has some appeal: Lillian seems to do little other than have sex, but Dr. Petersen really did his job and she doesn't feel ashamed about recounting what she's done. People usually bash movies based on books, and despite the fact this film is still rather obscure and hard to find, the producers did a pretty good job at preserving the "lighter side of things" the original novel has. Despite the fact, Lillian is traveling Europe fucking strangers, fucking girl on girl and even doing a double penetration threesome and some S & M, the overall feel of the flick is that of an innocent girl discovering the world through her vagina, so that is definitely one of the strong features of the film, staying true to the original novel.

As above mentioned, there is a lot of sex here & there, but the kinkiness is kept to a minimum, thus making the movie feel very, very softcore. Anne Grete is a beautiful actress and seems to have no trouble taking her clothes off in each scene she's in. 

a Scan from an old mag featuring the film.

Oh yeah, doggy style!

Anne Grete Nissen's career would be short lived, three films and that's it. Without a Stitch was her debut and only starring role, & then she would work in Bedroom Mazurka (1970) and Dagmar's Hot Pants, Inc. (1971). However, in Norwegian Wikipedia she is credited for two more films  Kyrkoherden (1970) & Lockfågeln (1971). She was born in  December 14, 1946 in Denmark and she is not to be confused with Annegrethe Nissen, another Danish actress that died in 2013.

 
Amazingly, this Swedish/Danish movie was recently released on a pretty nice-looking English-friendly DVD under the title "Without a Stitch". The feature itself is sexy, albeit strangely innocent, fun, and the disc also includes a truly incredible collection of Swedish skin-flick trailers featuring the films of various Scandinavian lovelies like Christine Lindberg, Marie Lilljedahl , and Maria Forsa.

Believe you me, semen is good for your skin.

a toss to a wet pussy!

Overall, Without a Stitch is fairly entertaining sex comedy from a more innocent time, before the sassy 70's. Despite all the topics the film features (masturbation, sexual abuse from a gynecologist, lesbian sex, porn film making, double penetration, etc)  I can say this is one of the softest soft core films I've ever watched. Worth watching just because the actresses are all natural beauties, and the story itself isn't lame since it's based upon a book. 

 

Here's the first five minutes of the film, as there is no trailer:

PS: I know we promised a review for Last Call, be patient because it's still cooking.

Young Playthings

Christina Lindberg...

Young Playthings is a 1972 piece where, of course a very young Christina Lindberg plays an important part. I first watched this film from an awful VHS quality digitized edition. As you can probably guess, it was entirely spoken in Swedish with no subs of any kind. Years later, I found another digitized version, with a better audio/video quality but with the same Swedish language, so I had to do some schooling, and thanks to the internet I was able to figure out the most difficult parts of the plot, you know, there's a lot of talking in this movie and it's not like you can take a wild guess at the content of every conversation.In addition, a good friend of mine provided me with an awful looking copy that was dubbed in English so, thanks for that!

Although this was directed by American (semi-)cult director Joseph "Joe" W. Sarno, it is also 1970's vintage softcore Swedish erotic, which means that the attitude toward sex is a little more laid-back and wholesome than in American sex films of that era, and the girls are less skanky (and a lot less artificial than the kind of girls that are in these kind of films today). The most familiar and impressive of the actresses involved is obviously Christine Lindberg, who was later in other notorious flicks. But Lindberg and the other actresses are either speaking in sync sound or have dubbed their own voices, so that there thick Swedish accents kind of hamper their performances. The initial plot is pure softcore porn contrivance--Lindberg's friend is having a secret affair with her boyfriend and the two of them plot to turn the arrangement into an treesome with Lindberg. The boyfriend goes out of town and the friend convinces Lindberg to stay in an apartment with her where she picks up random guys in an effort to seduce Lindberg into three-way.

Living the good life.

Friends and then some.

The plot takes a strange turn though when both girls fall under the spell of an alluring female toymaker who lives next door. The movie then turns into a bizarre, surrealist fantasy (apparently based on a Swedish folktale) and it really manages to lift itself well above the usual level of mind-numbing Swedish erotica. This is one of those rare sex movies that have interest beyond the mere "weasel-milking" aspect. It is largely the movie that made Sarno's reputation (he made only a couple other less interesting ones, then a lot of softcore and hardcore stuff). It also confirms his reputation for finding beautiful Swedish women willing to romp around in the nude (besides Lindberg, Sarno also discovered Marie Lilljedahl and Maria Forse, and did much to advance the exploitation career of Swedish-American bra-buster Uschi Digardt). I can say that is literally one of the few sex movies that is truly worth seeing whatever one's reason for watching it.   

Anyways, Young Playthings is the story of Nora Holmkvist (Eva Portnoff) and Janne Bergman who is happily married to Gunnila Bergman (Christina Lindberg), who additionally happens to be Nora's BFF. In order to lead Gunnila into a treesome, Nora and Janne devise a plan.

Things get weird.

Things get even weirder!

While Janne is away on business, Nora rents an area in a boarding house and intends to initiate the timid and innocent Gunnila to the pleasures of lesbian sex. However, Gunnila freaks out and decides to run away as soon as she can. Accidentally, while running away she meets Britt (Margaretta Hellstrom), manufacturer of sex toys and master of all things casual sex. Britt's place mysteriously bedazzle everyone who enters, even changing their will and ability to make decisions, so once you're in, you never get out.

 

Gunnila and Nora soon become hopelessly dependent on Britt's sex pleasures, they even show Britt's place to Janne thus allowing the long awaited threesome to take place.

Lovely Christina.

"Of course I swallow"

Gunnila is no popcorn girl though; soon she realizes Britt's follwers once had a "normal life" a successful attorney gone pimp; two profession girls turned into sex workers and so on. All these people have actually sacrificed their lives, their identities to become Britt's sex toys. Gunnila decides to warn his friends that they could share the same fate if they don't leave ASAP. Nora goes berserk and tells Britt that Gunnila & Janne are planning to escape so Britt hands her a blade and orders her to kill Gunnila!

Once Nora encounters Gunnila she fucking stabs her to death (or at least that's what she thinks, since she's become twisted by Britt's strange ways) Luckily for us and Gunnila, the blade was a fake, allowing her to finally get out of Britt's apartment with his husband.

Let's try anal now.

Yeah! take that!

Joe Sarno specializes in languid, introspective sex films. This is one of his best. It's a slow film, and as the action gets more and more bizarre, the tape recording that the players are following gets harder to understand, until by the end it takes a couple viewings to catch what's being said. Definitely not for most people's taste. 

Going back to our homework of reviewing the most obscure and/or rarest films in which Christina Lindberg play a role I gotta say, it hasn't been easy, and to make matters worse, we only have one film left to review, which is a 1974 action packed thriller called "Smoke". In such film, Christina plays a minor role but, the movie is very good. She did appear in more films but not even the dark world of the internet downloads have allowed us to grab them so, time will tell.

No trailer but, here's Joe Sarno himself giving his impression about Young Playthings: