Dec 15, 2016

Rogue One, a Star Wars Story

a Star Wars excellent story!
When people talk about movies, they seem to have lots of different reasons to define what makes a film either entertaining & well crafted or boring and terribly executed. Star Wars has been around since 1977, that is 39 years! and no other franchise has lasted this long, hence the necessity to treat Star Wars movies as a unique event in the filming arts. 

Last night we were the lucky bastards, as a friend called us when he found out we got tickets for an advanced screening of Rogue One: a Star Wars Story, so, I checked my lightsaber collection for battery replacement and found myself deciding which lightsabers were worthy enough as to accompany my wife & I to an experience we've been sharing since we were dating in the early 2000's. The decision was evident: Darth Vader's lightsaber & Luke (or Anakin's, or Rey's) Skywalker's blue Kyber crystal lightsaber. As usual there was a fairly decent line of fans waiting anxiously for the movie. Complete families in costumes, many people with Star Wars apparel (I was wearing my 2013 "What Would Vader Do?" T-Shirt) and of course, lightsabers. A lot of them. 

The Empire.
The rebels.
Once the Lucasfilm logo showed up the theater was silent and that is where director Gareth Edwards told us from the very beginning this wasn't Episode VIII or Episode III and half, no title crawl, just instant giant space ships featuring a flashback story on Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) and then the Rogue One title with music written by Michael Giacchino but somehow based upon John Williams' legendary work. The story by John Knoll & Gary Whitta, plotwise, is nothing longtime fans wouldn't expect, I guess fans spent years of their lives imagining how those Death Star plans got in the hands of the rebellion, namely Princess Leia Organa. 

Rogue One is supposed to play as a "side story", a "companion book" to a larger story and yet, what media and the trailers have shown us is, way too little to decide whether this film is a prequel to Episode IV: A New Hope or an actual spin-off film cashing out on the massive popularity George Lucas creation has. The burden of making a movie that wouldn't feel like a parody of itself was clearly an obstacle Edwards & Co. knew how to deal with to the very last drop. Surprisingly enough, Darth Vader, whose voice is once again played by the great James Earl Jones, is not the only "classic character" you'll see playing an important role during the development of the film. In addition, a big yet clever selection of nods to other Star Wars films are everywhere! don't blink because you'll miss a few! Obviously, watching this film solves the above mentioned "side story" or "sequel" conundrum, specially when it reaches its climax. 

Fuck everybody! Long live the Empire!
Black troopers.
The new characters are all victims of the brutal clone wars that destroyed the Jedi knights & galactic democracy. However, not much time is spent explaining why they are here and why they do what they do which is a valiant move considering the episodic Star Wars films feature quite a selection of characters that have a lot to do with plots and subplots, hence the need for explaining and/or developing a bit further than "I'm a good guy/bad guy" BUT, we all know what these characters did even without watching the movie. They're not going to be a part of future sequels, what matters most in this film is the mission, and the mission is clear: Obtain the Death Star's plan from the Empire's archive and send them to the Rebel Alliance in order to give peace a chance.

So, the "new story" has it, the Rebel Alliance is against an extremist group of rebels led by Saw Gerrera (Forest Whitaker), a man who fought the empire long enough as to being turned into a half-machine half-man. it just so happens this man raised Jyn Erso while her father Galen Erso (Mads Mikkelsen)  a genius engineer who was taken by the empire and forced to aid them in the development of their most brutal state of the art technology to date: the Death Star. So, Gerrera is not willing to work with the Alliance because he prefers a more direct approach. Unfortunately for the Alliance, Galen Erso chose a rogue pilot (Bhody Rook, played by Riz Ahmed) to carry an important message to Gerrera himself, a man Galen trusted him with her daughter. So there you have it! They need Jyn Erso in order to interact with Gerrera and gain the secret message that will allow them to find out more about this new imperial weapon. While all of this happens, Jyn meets other characters that are willing to help her find her father. Cassian Andor (Diego Luna) a rebel alliance agent, Chirrut Imwe (Donnie Yen) a blind martial artists fond of the force (he throws the best joke of the entire movie, and perhaps one of the best Star Wars jokes of all time), Baze Malbus (Wen Jiang) a brave laser machine gun man & K2SO (Alan Tudyk) an re programed imperial droid. 

So, who's in?
I'm contacting my old friend.
In a nutshell, they obtain the message Galen Erso sent Gerrera realizing their weapon is far too powerful to actually do something about it. Leading the resistance, another returning character, Mon Mothma (Genevieve O'Reilly) already seen in Episode III: Revenge of the Sith & Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, calls for a decision among all the alliance members and they all decide to cease the fighting in order to avoid a war that will put an end to rebel alliance. 

Now, for those thinking  the bad guy in the film is Darth Vader, and Vader only, they're extra wrong. Orson Krennic (Ben Mendehlson) is the director of operations from project Death Star, and he is actually the number one guy behind Galen Erso being forced to work for the Empire. Of course, a large collection of classic stormtroopers along with new troopers and lots of X-Wings, Tie Fighters, Imperial Destroyers & AT-AT Walkers are also there to add fun to a movie that feels like a warzone where there are no Jedi knights to bring balance to the force. 

Yes Director?
You don't know the power of...
Now for those fans craving for the dark lord of the Sith, Rogue One offers us a couple of interventions that are extra satisfying. The first even offers a glimpse on how... Well, you just watch it and see for yourself. The Second intervention is perhaps the most "Classic Star Wars" moment in the entire film. I mean, it's so fucking massive that you're like "Holy shit! Darth Vader! Go! Go! Go! " and it's this precise scene the one that reveals how this film is connected to Episode IV, so thank the producers of the trailers for not revealing any of the gorgeous surprises this film is packed with. Bail Organa (Jimmy Smits) also appears briefly in the movie, and whether you like it or not he's the connection with the prequel trilogy. Darth Sidious, AKA The Emperor, the ultimate son of a bitch is only mentioned a few times. Another very important returning character has a lot to do with the Death Star and Episode IV but I won't reveal that here. 

So, yay or nay? Rogue One is clearly an excellent movie, the start of something bigger, the "Star Wars Anthology Films" premise has a long way to go yet but, if they follow the fine example set here, I'm sure all those spin-offs they're planning will not only satisfy fans but also film connoisseurs. With a story that is all too familiar, a selection of nods to the original trilogy and a few fantastic surprises, this clearly is the film of the year 2016. And speaking of spin-offs, Rogue One actually works, so we will finally forget about those two Ewok films and the Star Wars Holiday Special (the actual first, spin-off in the SW universe)

The Rogue One crew.
In disguise.
I have to admit I had my doubts whether the film would live up to the expectations and fortunately, after we left the theater those doubts were completely wiped out. Despite the fact, the story is about "how some rebels got the Death Star plans to reach the alliance hands" all that happens in between makes it a very good action movie, it feels like you're in the middle of a war where you know many good guys will die to deliver such important information. I mean, from Episode IV we all know that those plans were delivered but not how, so it's a pretty interesting approach that fortunately, for the viewer, was achieved to the summa cum laude degree. The only thing I didn't quite like was Michael Giacchino's score which was below my expectations. Whenever there was a SW moment, his music was about to sound like something classic and then nothing happened, not even the SW theme!!! that is something I cannot forgive. Music plays a major role in the SW movies.

Overall, a fantastic addition to the SW universe and the best last 10 minutes celluloid can deliver! I guarantee that! Also, everything is settled in a single movie! no need for sequels or prequels or anything like that, just sit back, munch your popcorn while sipping your favorite drink and wait for the multiple nerdgasms the last 10 minutes will deliver, oh by the way, did I tell you about the last 10 minutes?

Here's the movie trailer:


Nov 28, 2016

The Star Wars Holiday Special

a long time ago, in a holiday far away...

Now that  Rogue One: a Star Wars story is just around the corner, we decided it's time to revisit our Star Wars fandom with a very special review. In the past, we covered every Star Wars episode to date. We even included reviews for the made for TV Ewok films and it was about time we paid our debt with the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. Made directly for TV and directed by Steve Binder this may be the worst official Star Wars film ever made.

Honestly, what Star Wars fan wouldn't want to watch this? (and how many have already watched it many times?) Well, maybe a few. Made after the massive success Episode IV: A New Hope had in 1977, this 1978 TV special featured every major Star Wars star, and even introduced the world to new characters that would be part of the following sequels, while other new characters where blasted into oblivion just like the idea of an official release of the film.

The original cast returns...
...plus a few new additions.
First off, yes, I and no one else who is a Star Wars fan, who has seen this, will ever disagree it is complete and total crap. But you know the old saying about train wrecks, you just have to watch them, this is that. Because as unbelievably horrible as it is, and as totally unfathomably bad every scene is, as a Star Wars fan you want to see these characters in new scenes (specially those who were there in 1978, where no SW sequels would happen until 1980)

It IS cool seeing "new" footage of Han and Chewie in the Falcon's cockpit. It's cool seeing Luke do his thing(despite his surgery that makes his face look odd), Leia, the droids, everyone, although this is nothing but a huge mess, you gotta like seeing these characters again somewhere. Of course, as you watch you may say to yourself that you wish you had NEVER seen this, because it taints the memory of these great Star Wars characters. So was actually seeing this special worth it? If you can keep your feelings about Star Wars in check and dismiss this easily, sure it is.

Wanna sing a holiday song Leia?
I really rather you didn't Luke.
The Boba Fett debut appearance (that's it you newbies! before the special editions, Boba Fett wouldn't show up until Episode V) in the animated sequence is very cool, best thing about the show probably. It's too short though, especially in such a long show.

But you know, this is one part of the Star Wars universe where I would love some additional information. The special itself we have - but this is the only piece of the Star Wars universe we know almost nothing of the background about. How was this show proposed? What were the creative meetings for this abomination like? Who felt this should be 2 hours long in broadcast time? What did the actors say and feel when they read what they were supposed to do? How did the recording of Carrie Fisher's "Star Wars song" go? Did everyone on screen just think this was a big joke before it was through?

And most importantly...did absolutely no one whatsoever in power have any ability at all to see this final product and realize what a complete piece of garbage this was, and what a blight on the Star Wars universe this would surely become? Were there stipulations that said this HAD to air, and they couldn't even trim it down?

I'm Boba Fett.
I take it you have no love of the empire.
I can't believe after creating such a masterpiece like "Star Wars" that George Lucas didn't have the eyes to see what a total hack job this Star Wars Holiday TV Special was. 

The special has never been released on video, but bootleg videos have been circulating for years, and are now all over the internet. George Lucas remarked at an Australian convention that "if I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every bootlegged copy of that program and smash it." 

According to Carrie Fisher, Lucas gave her a copy of the special as a gift for recording the DVD commentary for Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977). She claims that she plays it at parties when she wants her guests to leave.  

mm, nice to meet you.
Laugh it up fuzz ball!
Plotwise the holiday special  follows Chewbacca and Han Solo who pay a visit to Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's home world, to celebrate Life Day. They are pursued by agents of the Galactic Empire, who are searching for members of the Rebel Alliance on the planet. The special introduces three members of Chewbacca's family: his father Itchy, his wife Malla, and his son Lumpy, though these names were later explained to have been nicknames, their full names being Attichitcuk, Mallatobuck, and Lumpawarrump, respectively. 

The program also features many other Star Wars characters, including Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, R2-D2, Darth Vader and Princess Leia (who sings the film's "theme song", set to the music of John Williams' Star Wars theme, near the end). The program includes stock footage from Star Wars, and also features a cartoon produced by Toronto-based Nelvana that officially introduces the bounty hunter Boba Fett. Scenes also take place in outer space and in spacecraft including the Millennium Falcon and an Imperial Star Destroyer. The variety-show segments and cartoon introduce a few other locales, such as a cantina on the desert planet of Tatooine and a red ocean planet known as Panna.

Let's all sing the song of joy.
Funky music was also a big thing in Kashyyyk.
According to Charles Lippincott, who was head of marketing of what was termed "The Star Wars Corporation", CBS brought the idea of doing a TV special to Lucas, although there is some debate within Lucas's inner circle about this claim. Lucas was not heavily involved with the special, and his name does not appear in its credits. Still it was Lucas's idea to build the narrative around a family of speechless Wookiees and their celebration of Life Day. Bruce Vilanch, who was hired as a writer, was concerned about the challenges this decision would pose to writing and feared that the special would turn into "one long episode of Lassie". Regardless Lucas would not budge on the story.

The special went through two directors. The first, David Acomba, was brought in in an attempt to "make us different in variety shows", according to Lippencott. Acomba, a classmate of George Lucas at USC film school, was unfamiliar with a multi camera setup, which caused some problems. Acomba also felt that there was a divide between him and the producers and quit after finishing only a few scenes. He was replaced by Steve Binder. Binder never got to meet Lucas before the show but instead got a "Wookiee Bible" detailing how Wookiees were supposed to look and behave. Acomba chose to leave the project, a decision supported by Lucas.

Prototype toys of Chewie's family.
The special was broadcast in its entirety only once, in the United States, on Friday, November 17, 1978 (the week before Thanksgiving), on the U.S. television network CBS from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time (EST), pre-empting Wonder Woman and The Incredible Hulk; and on the Canadian television network CTV from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time. It was also broadcast in New Zealand on TVNZ and in Australia on the Seven Network.


Here's the infamous holiday special for your viewing pleasure (?)



Also, Diahann Carroll "This Minute Now"


The Jefferson Starship "Light the Sky on Fire" song:


And last but not least, Princess Leia sings "A Day to Celebrate":



Let’s start with the most obvious snag. About six minutes into the movie, right after Darth Vader (Lexington Steele) and a bunch of scantily clad Stormtroopers bust in on Princess Leia (Allie Haze)’s spaceship, we get our first sex scene. Those of you who were paying attention to the number of proper nouns in that last sentence may have already figured out where this is going.
See, in the original films at least, Darth Vader is actually Princess Leia’s father, which makes it pretty darned uncomfortable when the first ten minutes of this movie find him going right at her for a pretty vigorous interrogation about the whereabouts of the Rebel Alliance. With his penis.


Read More: ‘Star Wars XXX': The Porn Parody Is Still Better Than The Prequels [Review] | http://comicsalliance.com/star-wars-xxx-porn-movie-review/?trackback=tsmclip
Let’s start with the most obvious snag. About six minutes into the movie, right after Darth Vader (Lexington Steele) and a bunch of scantily clad Stormtroopers bust in on Princess Leia (Allie Haze)’s spaceship, we get our first sex scene. Those of you who were paying attention to the number of proper nouns in that last sentence may have already figured out where this is going.
See, in the original films at least, Darth Vader is actually Princess Leia’s father, which makes it pretty darned uncomfortable when the first ten minutes of this movie find him going right at her for a pretty vigorous interrogation about the whereabouts of the Rebel Alliance. With his penis.


Read More: ‘Star Wars XXX': The Porn Parody Is Still Better Than The Prequels [Review] | http://comicsalliance.com/star-wars-xxx-porn-movie-review/?trackback=tsmclip
Let’s start with the most obvious snag. About six minutes into the movie, right after Darth Vader (Lexington Steele) and a bunch of scantily clad Stormtroopers bust in on Princess Leia (Allie Haze)’s spaceship, we get our first sex scene. Those of you who were paying attention to the number of proper nouns in that last sentence may have already figured out where this is going.
See, in the original films at least, Darth Vader is actually Princess Leia’s father, which makes it pretty darned uncomfortable when the first ten minutes of this movie find him going right at her for a pretty vigorous interrogation about the whereabouts of the Rebel Alliance. With his penis.


Read More: ‘Star Wars XXX': The Porn Parody Is Still Better Than The Prequels [Review] | http://comicsalliance.com/star-wars-xxx-porn-movie-review/?trackback=tsmclip

Nov 7, 2016

Doctor Strange

Derivative Supreme.
According to Dictionary.Com, an archetype is the original pattern or model from which all things of the same kind are copied or on which they are based; a model or first form; prototype. 2. (in Jungian psychology) a collectively inherited unconscious idea, pattern of thought, image, etc., universally present in individual psyches. In this day and age, Science Fiction films, namely superhero films, are yesterday news. Anyone trying to find a groundbreaking new comic book movie, will have an easier time breathing underwater. 

Doctor Strange is the 14th movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the second film from what is called "Phase 3" (Civil War, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, Thor Ragnarok, Avengers Infinity War, Black Panther & Captain Marvel are the remaining films from it) Loosely based upon the creation of Steve Ditko, this movie delivers yet another couple of hours of derivative nonsense already seen before here and there, and not even the CGI effects make it a refreshing new take on the genre.   

I do things with my hands.
Look, I'm doing more things with my hands.
I had "standard" fun watching this movie the first 45 minutes and then set my mind into something else, still being able to catch up with ease with the weak plot. The focus of the film is clearly centered on the massive set of CGI scenes Doctor Strange features, while screenplay and plot are nowhere to be seen. Benedict Cumberbatch is a great actor, and the tiresome overall feel of the movie has nothing to do with him. On the contrary, he adds the human touch the film requires in order to make believe the audience. 

The movie follows the same basic formula as all of the other MCU movies. There's quips, there's jokes, there's a McGuffin, there's a 1-dimensional villain.

I don't know you but I'll teach you all my secrets.
Did you know sorcerers dance?
Movie's sole purpose is another lead-up to the next Avengers. The mystical artifact Strange uses turns out to be an Infinity Stone. "Shocking". If I had a dollar for every time Marvel did something that took me by surprise, I'd be flat broke, because you can see this stuff coming from a mile away.

I swear, I almost walked out when I heard the wifi password joke.

Marvel Movies have a tendency to love to have the hero getting betrayed by someone they thought an ally. Baron Mordo is a friend of Strange and his group in the movie. He's a villain in the comics. Anyone knows what is coming from a mile away. He doesn't go full bad guy in this one, but expect him to be full on evil in the sequel.

Another thing nearly every single MCU movie does is the fake-out death. A character will die and then in the next movie or even just in the post-credit scene of the movie they died in they'll pop up alive and well. Seriously, go back and look. Wong dies in this movie and Strange just reverses time and brings him back. The only character I think has stayed dead is Quicksilver. And there were rumors he was going to pop up alive and well somehow in the New Avengers scene at the end of Age of Ultron.

In the cover of a magazine!
Reading is magical.
The warped city stuff isn't as revolutionary is people claim. Considering Inception did it 6 years ago and that horrible Devil May Cry reboot did something similar as well.

Movie is getting stellar reviews, which doesn't mean much. At this point Marvel Studios could just release a 2 hour movie that is just the main character sipping a glass of tea while sniffing a dog turd and it would still get critical acclaim.

You know why it's so freaking hard to enjoy Marvel movies these days? When everyone is on the bandwagon and everyone attacks you if you have a different opinion, and when the movies are praised for being "amazing" when in reality they're just actually "just okay" or only "halfway decent", it makes them movies feel worse to me because when they don't live up to what critics and the fanboys say it is.

Like Civil War this year. Everyone called it a "Masterpiece." Then I saw it and the whole movie only functioned because of the gaping plot holes. But if you point out said plot holes you get vilified.

Pornography. Not even once.
We're the bad guys nobody will care about.
I think this movie might be the last MCU movie I bother seeing. They all feel the same, follow the same formula, and the fanboys make going to see them insufferable. Maybe Spider-man: Homecoming could be good, but since they have Vulture, Shocker, and Tinkerer (3 1- dimensional villains) as the villains of the film, it looks like the movie is already setting up to be the same movie with different characters we've seen about 15 times now. Just watch, I bet that the plot ends up being Vulture trying to steal a priceless artifact and Spidey has to keep it from him, and then in the post-credit scene it's revealed to be an Infinity Stone so they can do another "Look, look, shared universe,everything tied together" moment that are tired at this point.

Why do I rate it 1 out of 10? I'd have given it a five, but the over-hyped nonsense from critics and the Marvel fanboys just makes these movies feel worse than they actually are to me. A mediocre movie ends up feeling like complete trash when everyone is calling it one of the best movies ever and then you see it and it's just "kind of sort of okay" Especially when the only thing I thought was good in the movie was the special effects. I also enjoyed the special effects in the Transformers series, but as we all know, those movies suck, and no amount of great special effects will save a crap movie.

Movie also shows the problems the MCU will be facing soon. Dr. Strange is a D-list character at best. After they lose Iron Man, Cap, Hulk, Widow, Thor, Nick Fury, and the other characters that the MCU was built on, they'll only have Spider-man and a bunch of C and D-listers holding their shared universe together. 

Overall, a derivative and very expensive turd that fad cocksuckers are already praising as the ultimate masterpiece. If you still want to watch a good movie, choose the original 1978 Doctor Strange TV movie, because it features what this one lacks: a plot & decent storytelling.

Here's the movie trailer:


Oct 25, 2016

Trick 'r' Treat


Sam will be your guide.

Only a few days until Halloween night! and what could be better than watching horror films for pumpkin season? Our previous entry was all about Samhein too but today's entry takes us into another level of film making, a true independent horror masterpiece the likes we haven't seen in ages. Trick 'r' Treat (not to be confused with 1986's Trick or Treat. See? spelling matters!) is perhaps the only horror film worth watching made in the 21st century (along with The Ring & Final Destination) Annabelle? Paranormal Activity? The Conjuring? Seriously?! those aren't horror films! those are horrific to watch films! fuck them all! fuck their poser fans!

Anyway, Trick 'r' Treat is a 2007 film written & directed by Michael Dougherty, produced by Bryan Singer (of X-Men & Superman Returns fame) and starred by Anna Paquin (Rogue in the X-Men franchise).

Hi, I'm Sam.
And I love Halloween.
Ah, Halloween… my favorite time of the year. It isn't so much the festivities taking place that excites me as it's the feeling in the air once October comes. That palpable sensation you get seeing jack-o-lanterns grimly lit faces, kids trick-or-treating in the streets and the aesthetics of fall surrounding you slowly giving way to winter. I think it must hold a special place in everyone, if for nothing else but purely nostalgic reasons. Mike Dougherty is certainly one of those people, as is evidenced by his incredible horror anthology Trick 'r Treat. For a holiday that revels in films of a horrific nature, there sure are a scant few of them that take place on the actual day itself. Dougherty's film is the celluloid embodiment of that je ne sais quoi that has made Halloween such an alluring holiday for generations of kids (and adults) alike.

As I said, Trick 'r Treat is a horror anthology which interweaves tales that all take place on Halloween night, similar to such genre classics as Creepshow and Tales from the Darkside. A costumed couple learns to respect tradition… the hard way, a group of girls head out into the woods for a "howling" good party, the local school principal has a (literal) taste for blood, four kids attempting to pull off a holiday "trick" end up becoming "treats", and a cantankerous old man gets a visit from a holiday visitor looking to settle a decades-old grudge.

Oh C'mon! Lose your virginity already!
Halloween is a great night for my first time.
To say anymore than that would spoil the fun in watching the film, as these stories are best digested when viewed on an empty mind. The twists are less predictable than most horror films manage these days; half the fun is wondering just where the hell these characters are going to end up. The one constant throughout the film is a costumed, pint-sized little guy named Sam, who does his best to remind people why they should take great care in adhering to the traditions set forth hundreds of years ago for All Hallows Eve. The film is richly seeped in tradition, reminding the audience of just why we celebrate the fabled holiday in the first place. It manages to be effectively creepy and blood-soaked, yet it never goes over-the-top with gratuitous gore. There is also a very obvious helping of black comedy strewn throughout the film, which thankfully never gives way to the self-parody so many horror films feel the need to indulge in.

I think the most impressive aspect of this film is the incredible attention that has been paid to detail. Every single shot of the film is beautifully framed and composed, often looking more like a cryptic painting than a frame of film. The austere trappings of Mr. Kreeg's dark house, the ghostly palette of the rock quarry, the incredible shape-shifting sequence around a roaring fire in the woods… everything here is gorgeous. That aesthetic, married with the spot-on performances and realistic dialogue, give the film an organic feel that never relies on cheese or parody to break tension. The cinematography by Glen MacPherson is so lush it manages to make you feel like you're a part of the celebration. For someone who is as big a fan of the Halloween holiday as I am, this was especially important to see done right. Too often when a film actually does take place on the holiday it lacks the depth that is presented here.

Beautiful decoration.
Kid-friendly neighbors.
For such a large ensemble cast, there isn't any one performance that stands out above the rest – everyone here is perfectly cast. I even enjoyed Anna Paquin as the "virgin" of the female group, and she's not always someone I'm crazy about. Perhaps my favorite role is that of Mr. Kreeg, played superbly by veteran character actor Brian Cox. His look was inspired directly from my favorite director, John Carpenter, and there are a couple of well-placed nods to his work that were highly amusing. Also providing great support throughout the film is newcomer Quinn Lord who plays Sam, the little sack-headed minion who "stitches" the film's stories together.

The film was originally slated to be released in October 2007 for a Halloween release. Warner Bros., without explanation or reason, pulled the film from the schedule and no reschedule date was announced. One reason might have been that Saw IV (2007) was slated for release around the same time and Warner Bros. did not want to compete against it in fears of a big opening against them. Another possible reason the film was buried by the studio was that it was possible fallout from the box office disappointment of Superman Returns (2006), which was co-written by Trick 'r Treat writer/director Michael Dougherty and both produced and directed by Bryan Singer, whose production company produced this film. There was brief talk that the film would finally be released around Halloween 2008 and possibly early 2009 but neither release ever materialized. The film was finally released straight to DVD in October 2009.

Slutty party.
Sexy boobs.
Trick 'r' Treat had many title changes before filming began. Originally titled Season's Greetings (also the name of the short film), it was changed because it sounded too much like a Christmas film. Then it was called Halloween Terrors, Jack O' Lantern Tales, October the 31st, and Trick or Treat. The final title was kept but since there was already a movie of the same name out (our previous review), they changed the spelling to Trick 'r Treat.  

The name of the character Sam is derived from Samhain, the ancient Celtic festival of the dead from which modern-day Halloween is derived. Despite having been portrayed as such in this film and several other works, Samhain is not a deity or other personage of ancient Celtic polytheism; it is only the name of the celebration. However, the idea of being either a deity or other personage dates back to at least the late first century, largely thanks to an Irish bishop named Cormac mac Cuilennàin and his book "Sanas Cormaic" (Irish Gaelic for "Cormac's Narrative"), which had identified Samhain as such. 

Father & son carving, cute!
Say cheese!
Overall, an excellent horror film that offers nothing but pure entertaining, so what are you waiting for?

Here's the movie trailer:


Oct 23, 2016

Trick or Treat

Cassette & vinyl will bring you to hell kids!
Although the 80's were shit (as The Vaselines put it in their wonderful second LP "Sex with The Vaselines") the film industry was very creative during the decade. Some of the most wonderful films, cult or massive, came out in that decade and none other film than today's entry can deliver a horror film with bulk 80's pop culture references. Trick or Treat is a 1986 horror gem written by Rhet Topham and directed by Charles Martin Smith. Starred by Marc Price as Eddie Weinbauer, Tony Fields as Sammi Curr & Lisa Orgolini as Leslie Graham.

What happens when a Glam Rock star dies and his number one fan gets his hand in the only vinyl copy of his latest recording? Well, shit happens! Featuring hard rocking cameos by Gene Simmons (as Nuke, a local radio DJ) & Ozzy Osbourne (as Reverend Aaron Gilstrom) this is the Halloween movie every audiophile enthusiast should watch as soon as possible. 

The evil sign of rock!
Ozzy, Sammi & Gene.
Eddie AKA Rag-Man Weinbauer, is a diehard fan of all things heavy metal, glam and classic rock in general. His bedroom is a fortress of music with giant speakers, a Sony turntable and very respectable collection of vinyl records & cassette tapes you wish you had today. As a matter of fact, he even owns a copy of Megadeth's debut album Killing is my Business which by the date the movie was filmed, wasn't even out, making our lead character's copy one of the earlier promotional copies send to different college radio stations in order to promote their music. So, going back to the movie (I'm a freaking audiophile, I admit it) Eddie's number one rock star, Sammi Curr is seen by society, school teachers, parents & reverends as a Satanic & perverted monster that is posoning America's youth with his evil music. This causes Eddie to be constantly bullied in school, just because he listens to Rock music. Yes, in the 80's everybody thought heavy rock music was a door to Satanic cult rites and all sorts of atrocities. 

Later while doing his chores Eddie finds out his ultimate hero has died in a fire, obviously causing our lead massive pain since "Sammi Curr was the only one who truly understood his teenage brawls against the world" For unexplained reasons, Eddie runs into the local radio station to tell Nuke (Gene Simmons, Kiss bass player & singer) his love about the recently demised Glam rocker. Nuke believes him and as gift, offers him the last studio session Curr recorded in brand new vinyl. Only one copy exists, and Eddie is the lucky winner! (Nuke has made a cassette copy he'll play during Halloween) 

What are these hidden messages?
Satan is calling to you Eddie!
The problem is, the copy features some strange voices Eddie can't understand, so, using the most cliched story about LP's he reverse plays it, or plays it backwards, finding creepy messages Sammi Curr left to the lucky owner of this unique vinyl. The messages are essentially "nail them all" something Curr kept singing about while he was alive. Eddie, being his number one fan, knows this message means he has to face his bullies at any cost, so evidently things will go south pretty quickly. 

Wait a fucking minute?! Why is this movie called Trick or Treat?! Where's Halloween?! Now, now. Eddie's school is celebrating a Halloween party! and Sammi Curr was supposed to be the feature artist  but since, society considered him a fucking satanic perv his invitation was revoked. Still not Halloween enough? Well, let me continue then. The more Eddie plays Sammi Curr's LP, the more evil like he turns, so when things go out of hand, Sammi comes back to life through Eddie's stereo asking him if he's forgotten they made a pact to "nail them all". From then on, murders start happening and Sammi sort of, avenges himself and Eddie's by making every detractor they had, explode (no graphic violence is featured in the film whatsoever) 

I hope Eddie cums on my tits, I'm not ready for another load on my face.
Oh C'mon! I know you swallow!
In order to "nail them all" Eddie makes a cassette copy of the LP and gives it to one of his bullies as a "peace offering" Unfortunately, the cassette ends up in the wrong hands (The bully's girlfriend) And via headphones the spirit of Sammi Curr rapes and leaves the girl comatose. Tim Haney (the bully, played by Doug Savant) instantly runs into Eddie to ask him what the hell was in the cassette he gave him. But, Sammi's spirit protects Eddie's house so Tim leaves him unharmed. Nevertheless, Eddie has a good heart and decides to tell his death idol he doesn't want any part in his murdering revenge. Obviously, and predictably, you can't get rid of a death rock star like that, so despite plugging off every stereo Eddie can find, Sammi Curr still finds a way to travel through the real world to propagate his hatred message of death targeting Eddie's love interest Leslie Graham (Lisa Orgolini)

So once Halloween night happens, Sammi replaces the band playing for the school party and so begins the Halloween party massacre, where our death rock star "nails" the students with his electric guitar. But shit doesn't stop there, since this unreleased LP is also being played in the local radio station, allowing Sammi to cover the whole city, making no one safe because stereos where everywhere in the 80's! home stereo, walkman, car stereo, radio signal oh man!

This music makes want to diddle my skittle.
Rock music is the true gate to hell!
Watching Trick or Treat feels like watching portions of other films. There's the late night teen pool party, with booze and tits. There's the bullied outcast seeking revenge. There's the death spirit possessing electrical devices. There's the girl who has a thing for the bullied character. There's a teenage party that ends up in a fucking massacre plus a couple of world class cameos. However, this isn't a copy of something that has been done before. This is a horror film made for rock music fans, specially those who dig Vinyl, Rock music & cassette tapes. If you're that kind of a person, you will enjoy this flick. Also, if you're into watching 80's horror films, I so believe this is for you, and I'm sure you've watched it already. For general audiences and digitized music era fans, this may be hard to swallow (no pun intended). For gore & slasher fans, this film doesn't offer visual violence, although there are hints here and there, it could be a family friendly slasher. 

Now, some stuff you probably didn't know about the movie:

-Eddie's best friend Roger is played by Glen Morgan, his only acting stint. Morgan later went on to be a prolific writer/producer for The X-Files (1993), Final Destination (2000), and Final Destination 3 (2006), as well as direct the Black Christmas (2006) remake.  
 
-All songs in the movie are written by the band "Fastway" which consisted of former Motorhead Guitarist "Fast" Eddie Clarke, and current "Flogging Molly" vocalist Dave King. 
 
-Cult movie company Anchorbay were all set to release a special 20th Anniversary Edition DVD of 'Trick or Treat' in 2006, but cancelled it when they encountered problems with the film's music licensing.  
-This movie features and after credit scene! (I won't spoil it here)
 
I'll leave you kids alone.
My bush is yours Eddie.
Overall, Trick or Treat is not as scary as other Halloween themed films yet, it is fairly entertaining and mildly original. If you want to watch something different, look no more. If you want to watch some good scary flick, wait until our next review coming before October the 31st.
 
Here's the movie trailer: