Love In 3D

Love in 3D, oh boy!

a promise is a promise: the return of Swedish sex goddess Christina Lindberg has finally happened! after reviewing the films where she takes the lead, or at least has a supporting cast role now we move on to complete her most obscure filmography: Those which were not dubbed in English and do not feature English subtitles either. Six years ago,  we reviewed her big screen debut Rotmanad.The last time this humble blog had the honor of posting a review of her majesty Lindberg was  4 years ago (with Journey To Japan), now the fucking time to announce her thrilling return!!! All the missing rare films will be here!! Young Playthings, The Swinging Co-Eds, Smoke & Every Afternoon!! get ready for an overdose of Sweden's hottest brunette of all time!

The SPAM Alternative team's dedication is hardcore than ever in 2016, and will find resources to finance learning German in order to be able of properly reviewing the above mentioned films, so if you'd like to make a donati... fuck it! let's keep the internet free of charge! 

I'm just outdoors, naked, lingering.

Don't cum inside, I take it in the eye!

Every Afternoon, AKA Swedish Wildcats, is a 1974 (1972 according to IMDB) German film directed by Joseph W. Sarno, and is all you can expect from a 70's sleazy sexploitation film.  This film was produced by German sexploitation meister Walter Boos, one of the co-creators of the infamous German "report" films. But rather than being a series of vignettes centered around errant German school girls or housewives, this movie basically has a structure similar to the much later American indie classic "Slacker" as it randomly follows around any number of barely related characters who live and work around a certain apartment building. It's also in 3-D, of course, so there are lots of shots of things being thrown at or, um, thrust into the camera (including, but not necessarily limited to, the pendulous breasts of Swedish sexploitation star Christine Lindberg). Yes, kids you read that right a 3D film in 1974! so I urge every connoisseur to get your 80's 3D glasses back as soon as possible.

Presumably inspired by Pete Walker's 4 Dimensions of Greta this is not just another 1970s sex comedy filmed in 3D. Walter Boos however went all the way - we do not have just the odd 3D boob scene, the whole film is made in 3D. The viewer is constantly reminded of that, because the cinematography is truly bizarre with plenty of scenes of rather peculiar camera angles that strongly emphasize the 3D effects, e.g. a girl on a swing moving towards (and above) the camera, twigs hitting a car window, and many many more. The exaggeration of 3D makes these scenes quite funny, as the effects are completely over the top.  

I look better nude.

Bouncing in 3D!

If this could be classified as a "report" film, it's definitely one of the sexier ones with little plot to get in the way of the non-stop sex scenes. A girl(Ingrid Steeger) is embarrassed by her very sexually active roommate. A young man picks up a sexy nude sunbather by locking the balcony door and using a fishing pole to steal her clothes thus forcing her to come into his room where, of course, hot sex ensues. A man in a restaurant picks up a beautiful Indian girl while his friend also scores with a well-endowed waitress ("chubby chasers" will no doubt really enjoy the latter scene). A repressed woman submits to a lesbian seduction, but ends up having trampoline-style sex with a man as they bounce wildly on the bed. But they save the best for last, as the incredible Christine Lindberg shows up for two of the most unabashed sex scenes of her career, intercut by scenes of her driving men on the street to distraction with her very abbreviated mini-skirts and criminally low cut blouses. Then it's back to Ingrid Steeger, who finally falls in love with a guy, and gives her horny female roommate a run for the money by having wild sex with him on the balcony, literally almost bringing the roof down.

This is one of several German sex films Euro-sexploitation legends Lindberg and Steeger appeared in together (not in the same scenes, of course, that would melt the celluloid in the camera). It is, unfortunately, only available in German, but I doubt fans of either actress will care (or perhaps even notice).

"I'm cumming"

Care for some outdoor sex honey?

Overall,  Liebe In 3 Dimensionen is a very entertaining film. Despite the fact that there are many sexploitation films that had little to no plot at all in the 70's the camera work in this film is something you need to watch. Most of the angles the cameramen shot are shot from very original positions in order to deliver a fully 3D experience. The usual falling/tossing objects are all there, but the film takes 3D to a whole new dimension when they shot the sex scenes. I wonder, how did they fit the camera below the actresses in several shots. Also, there is a big spider scene that is one of the most well accomplished 3D scenes in the entire film and maybe one of the best 3D scenes of all time. 

While this film hasn't been officially released on DVD or any other format, there are some streaming sites that have it in their catalog. The language barrier, depending on how you look at it, it's a minor thing. My copy has neither English dubbing  nor English subtitles but since the plot is extremely obvious you don't need to understand a shit to enjoy this 3D classic. 

Tonight, I take it in the ass my love.

a new level in window shopping!

Here's the movie trailer and stay tuned for more Christina Lindberg to cum...er... I mean to come!, to come!

Schoolgirl Report #4

Original German Promo Poster.

Continuing with perhaps one of the most popular sexploitation German saga of all times: Schulmädchen Report, we set our minds into part 4, probably along with part 3, the most interesting to watch from the whole saga, which like any other movie franchise ended up becoming a mockery of itself where repetition in the sequels doomed the legacy of the first four films. 

Schoolgirl Report Volume 4, was also known as Campus Swingers and Barely Innocent, but the correct title was Schoolgirl Report 4: What Drives Parents To Despair. Released some time around 1972 and once again directed by Ernst Hofbauer, the man who would direct most of the Schulmädchen films.

Interracial Teen Sex.

School Sluts.

So, the big question is what does a part 4 have to offer compared to the first three films? Well, it has young looking girls barely over the age they're depicting, in opposite to the 40 something years old porn stars with gigantic breast implants pretending to look like school girls, so that's something we do appreciate from this saga, and like no other feature, I'm sure seeing these cuties won't get anyone tired. The girls are fresh and nubile girl-next-door types. Probablye the fresh adition is the swedish erotica starlet Christina Lindberg, who was just in her early 20's then, and by now, of course, is old enough to be the mother of someone like you and I.

Schoolgirl Report 4, like the rest of these films, it's made up of a number of sexy short stories supposedly based on what real-life German teenagers of the day were up to. In the first story, an attractive senior is flunking math. So what can she do to get her strict male teacher to give her a passing grade?  In another story a creep guy disguises himself as a doctor so he can give "check-ups" to naive teenage girls home alone (which would never work in America where doctors don't make house-calls even if you call them). This gives one horny young couple an idea of how they can get together right under their parents' noses. Then there is a sensitive story of interracial relationships and gratuitous shower scenes. Finally the most controversial story has the aforementioned Christina Lindberg playing a girl who's in love with her brother (naughty, naughty). Despite the appalling lack of taste here, Lindberg as always is the quintessential actress for these kind of films since she had the fresh, innocent face of an 18-year-old virgin and the voluptuous body of a burlesque era stripper, but no implants added at all, natural boobs, natural ass & natural bushy pink. 

Teen Bush.

Timeless Universal Humour.

Christina Lindberg's Incest Story.

Christina Lindberg, the greatest.

More  Christina Lindberg.

The Alternate movie title poster.

I would recommend this for all the exploitation enthusiasts everywhere. You can still find this film at online stores or video rental stores. Some editions come dubbed with a very hilarious English, some other editions come with the original German language plus the correspondent English subs. But movies like this will also certainly appeal to ANYONE who enjoys undraped females, as well as people like me who might watch sex films more ironically. Movies like this may have "driven parents to despair" in 1970's Germany, but they're sure a whole lot of fun today, besides if they really wanted to make a controversial films saga why didn't they include real sex scenes, why didn't they make a porn saga with these kind of stories? I'm pretty sure back in the day when the porn entertainment was in its rise, no one would have complained either. 

One Guy, Four Teens!

"How about sucking your dick dry honey?"

Schoolgirl Report 4 Screencaps.

Here's the original movie trailer:

Next time, more reviews. Until then, take care!

Schoolgirl Report #3

The uncensored Schoolgirl Report #3 DVD.

Continuing with the Schoolgirl Report saga, we find our way through the third instalment known as Schoolgirl Report 3: What Parents Find Unthinkable.Ernst Hofbahuer returns as the movie director, only this time he's co-directing with Walter Boos. Part 3 is probably the most controversial film from the saga, which on the one hand could be interpreted as the European openmindness doing its thing, or on the other hand as a degenerate acted display  of sexual abuse we don't want to see anywhere in the world. However we do have to remember that these movies were never intended to be an educational effort for crowded audiences, so there are no consistent elements depicting the things we should and should not do. Besides, the interviews are kind of boring in the third instalment, they just feel too predictable, so you won't buy the "reality" fiction in display during the movie.

Blonde Teen Nipples.

a Teen tennis player.

Making out teens.

70's Teen Fashion.

The schoolgirl skirt classic.

The student/teacher fantasy returns.

A funny thing about this movie was that when Synapse Films finally got their hands on parts 1 to 8 of the Schoolgirl Report, they had censorship issues when releasing the Schoolgirl Report #3 DVD, so they had to edit the original 96 minutes version to 76 minutes, getting rid of the most polemic stories which I will be unveiling a few lines later, so in case you were wondering why everytime you search through Amazon you find your way with 2 different DVD covers is because the censored edition is still available in many online stores and real stores around the globe, while the uncut, uncensored edition is only available at online stores. If we look at the former Schoolgirl Report films, we can easily state they're naive & funny compared to today's standards while Schoolgirl Report #3 does come with some stories that we still find shocking in our today's standards.

The third of twelve films in the German Schulmadchen-Report continues the same kind of mood established by the original part 1 & 2, so if you've seen them before,  you already know what to expect as this series tries to pass itself off as an "educational movie" warning parents about what their teenagers might be doing in regards to various sexual situations involving not only teens this time, but involving a lot more shocking stories.

Perfect Teen ass riding some cock.

Teen titties.

Teen Bush.

Teen Pool Sex.

Teen Car Sex.

Teen Blondes Bedtime.

We get the typical stories of fantasy girls sneaking out to have sex, younger girls going after older men and even a Romeo and Juliet type story but the controversial were definitely the most talked about for years to come. The first of the big three has a girl getting gang raped in her school bathroom but the adults just won't believe her and instead they sort of lead her into prostitution. 

The next story has a teenage girl catching her father in bed with another woman because her mother is ill and away in a hospital. Wanting to keep her father with her mother, the girl decides to start sleeping with her dad, yes, you read it right an incest story, though being acted, still you feel kinda creepy when watching it.

The third of these "bad" stories centers on a 15-year-old girl who sees her older sister having sex and it gets her interested so she sneaks into the shower with her 10-year-old cousin. OK, the first two stories probably won't bother you that much because you expect that sort of nastiness when it comes to exploitation, which this series is. If someone actually believes these are "learning" movies then I guess you will be shocked.

More Teen Sex.

"Lemme check your tits little girl"

"Don't worry Sr. Cum with me"

"Aren't you gonna fuck the little ol' me"

Father, Daughter, Lover & Boyfriend.

"I'm cumming in the woods baby"

The third story with the young kids, along with the gang bang & incest stories  that led publishers to censor the scenes from the international release on home DVD, and voila, they cut them good.However, considering this is a fictional movie, I don't think they had to cut the Gang Bang & Incest stories, which were acted by adult actors and actresses. The one that really gave me the creeps was the kids story because it's obvious both kids are underage I mean, come on! the boy hasn't even hit puberty! Seeing them to "playing around", even though there's never any real touching scene, is just too creepy to watch. Probably the kids were great actors, but still it's very shocking.

Despite the uncensored edition, you can still watch the international edition without the most schocking stories. Anyways, I still enjoyed the movie overall as we get sexy stories, stupid interviews with people off the street and countless other sexploitation scenes that come off fresh even in the third film. Next entry will be about part 4, and until some time soon the missing parts will eventually be reviewed once I watch them first.

As a pre-christmas gift the full movie is here in two parts:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Schoolgirl Report #2

Original Movie Poster.

Today we enter the follow up to the original Schulmädchen Report, which proved to be quite a profitable experience for the movie makers, so you got it! they decided to continue the saga with a twist of more intense sex scenes,  adding even some real sex scenes and developing a greater quality  storytelling style that would continue to spawn several sequels, 12 to be exact. The year is 1971, yeah 1 mere year after the original release, obviously success is a very elusive element in the world of the exploitation genre, so the filmakers decided to continue making movies while success was still oven fresh per se. Considering censors were very open minded at those times, Ernst Honbauer (the film's director) decided it was right to get a more hardcore approach in terms of the sex scenes. However to give the franchise a sense of continuity, Honbauer repeated some elements from the original movie, for instance the simulated peasants interview on the streets.

The student/teacher porn classic idea came from this German Flick.

"I have no clue about maths, but I do give some good head"

"Nice experiment teacher, now could you fuck me hard please?"

Having quite a lot of success, the first four parts of the saga added up 13 parts produced in Germany, making it one of the most successful film series in that country, and instantly turning it into one of the few movie sagas that lasted a whole decade! that's 1970 to 1980. The, then original idea of covering school girls secret sex life hidden from the faces of their parents, not only made money for the saga, because soon after the success of the first films an uncountable number of similar films were rushed into Germanys cinema, making it possible to take a look onto the unspoken truths in the sex lives of housewives, secretaries, teachers, and so on. Also the very first porn parodies were introduced as well. It would be fun to claim that, in essence that, each of these movies have a serious scientific approach  behind it; thinking that the Schuldmädchen-reports are intended to explore the social reality of the youth for reasons of preventing kids from danger is absolutely false. Although, the films were shot, organized and written to look like and actual documentary they are just sexploitation films that sort of wanted to look like as the exact oposite. 

No wonder then, that this particular volume starts with a reporter interviewing different experts like policemen, sociologists and so on, all of which have a story to tell about degenerate teen sluts in school age. The movie it's divided into several cases, and to link one case with the others, interviews are used in between. The single episodes that each report consists of are great fun. For instance, the first "case" is about a good-looking, yet strict and conservative teacher by the name of Dr. Mallinger, whom three of his school girls, after making good use of sexual innuendos during an experiment in the physics class, lure into one girl's house. Expecting nothing else than a conversation with her father, Mallinger finds himself confronted with his naked student. "You have forced me into a disgusting trap", he utters, before laying her down on the sofa and taking her from behind (!) Needless to say that, while hidden in another room, the other girls watch closely and videotape the whole thing for further blackmailing their teacher into sexual services. Soon afterward, however, the class must learn that Mallinger couldn't take the pressure any longer and moved on into the heaviest coitus interruptus kind: Suicide!

I guess that's what school girls are all about in these days.Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on the point of the view, I for one, being an English teacher haven't found my way with this kind of schoolgirls, although some of them had their thing for being provocative, they weren't provocative for teachers only, they were provocative with everyone and everywhere, and I would define being provocative way more softer than the idea depicted in the film, so no sex, no nothing. Anyways I haven't heard in like ages of some teacher getting laid, because of his/her naughty students, nor I have heard of underage teenager being ok with having casual sex with adults just for fun,  so yeah,  the real world is way more calmed down. However, I've heard about adults abusing young girls and that's fucking disgusting and insane, they should be neutered and spayed. On the one hand reality bites, and on the other hand we have movies to satisfy some of the neverending list of human fantasies.

"Don't worry little girl, I'll fuck you gently"

"How do you like my new uniform teacher"

An original promo still.

Schoolgirl Report #2, "What Keeps Parents Awake at Night" not only features the student/teacher affair, it also comes packed with other sequences that are equally entertaining. From today's viewpoint, nudity is there but pornography is far far away, although there is one blowjob scene "performed" by two not so young looking actresses. The strangest element is the fact that the unintended comedy of the films wasn't already appreciated when they first hit the cinemas. It is impossible to watch a Schulmädchenreport today without being entertained greatly and laughing all the time. Very recommended also as a demonstration of the trash culture that swept over the European film scene in the 70s, creating both masterpieces and junk. The other stories or "reports" cover the story of young couples exploring each others bodies, how young should a girl start and various other topics. If you're actually looking for some sort of documentary on female sexuality then just walk right pass this one because the only reason for this film is the nudity. There's nothing hardcore here but the girls are constantly getting undressed and into various sexual situations. 

"Guys we are here to fuck"

"Two heads are better than one"

"Do I look appealing to you?"

"This weenie's mine sis"

The film certainly comes off very campy today and that's one reason why I think it holds up quite well. The film starts to drag towards the end but if you don't mind a lot of nudity and don't take the film too seriously then it remains entertaining. 

Here's the full movie for your viewing pleasure, the little problem is that the film is in its original German language, but it's very predictable.

Next entry will be about part 3 both the German & International Versions.