Showing posts with label Marvel Comics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marvel Comics. Show all posts

May 22, 2018

Deadpool 2

DP 2, not cumming alone.
It's hard to believe this humble movies blog opened its doors 10 years ago. It's hard to believe people are still visiting it, while having thousands of better more professional options to go to whenever they need a qualified opinion on whether the film is worth watching or worth skipping. Anyway, I'm glad you're still here after all these years! We've reached the decade milestone! And what better way to celebrate it with the most exploitation superhero film there is to see in 2018!

Deadpool 2, AKA DP 2 (raunchy you!) Far exceeds its expectations and it's not just an excellent sequel to the original but, also a great example of film making done with the heart. The character itself, is probably one of the few superheroes/antiheroes accurately depicted on the big screen. With Wade Wilson, the ideas are limitless, and writers, producers and directors  clearly know why the comic book anti-hero has become a cult character ever since its introduction in the early 90's.

The new X-Men trainee.
Teenage angst.
First of all, and just like in the previous film, DP2 is a work purely based on respecting the fans, therefore the character. Unlike 90% of the MCU characters, here we don't need any of the PG rater bullshit and childish stories softened to appeal to a bigger market (and the retarded fans of the MCU, sorry, not sorry). In fact, I'd say DP2 feels like an independent film about a franchise character. Moreover, Deadpool 2 is the movie for those who were growing tired of superhero films, as the sequel makes fun of everything comic book related, specially the "Lazy writing" joke Wade keeps on tossing in our faces throughout the film. In addition, if you're a true comic book reader, you'll find the sequel comes packed with lots of X-Men related jokes, not just the predictable "DC V/S Marvel" stupid feud and criticism towards other MCU franchises.

When it comes to bringing the laughs, I think Deadpool 2 is just as funny as the original entry. There's even more meta jokes, the same gleefully dirty spirit carries over and some unexpected payoffs left me cackling. They build upon some of the previous memorable bits (I admire Ryan for being so willing to relentlessly skewer his filmography) without it going stale. Luckily, they didn't ruin the movie by putting all the funny bits in the trailer and there's plenty to enjoy. They weren't afraid to push the envelope with the humour and stick around past the finale for a truly epic bit that rolls during the credits.

Friend or foe?
Another metal arm?
We've got all your favourite players back from Deadpool and I want to credit the writers for giving the opportunity for the characters to grow. Wade Wilson/Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) is his typical wise-cracking self but he's found happiness and the change in his relationship with Vanessa (Morena Baccarin) has really impacted his outlook. Colossus (voiced by Stefan Kapicic) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) return as X-Men members and while they're familiar, they're attitude does change towards Deadpool's antics. We also get back Dopinder (Karan Soni), Weasel (T.J. Miller) and Blind Al (Leslie Uggams) as the rest of Wade's crew and they all bring something new or hilarious to the film. I also really liked the new members of the cast; Cable (Josh Brolin) and Domino (Zazie Beetz) lived up to the hype. Cable has more depth than I expected and a highlight of Deadpool 2 was how they worked in Domino's ability into the action. They were so creative in how her abilities changed the way the action flowed. I also really liked the character of Russell (Julian Dennison) and how they used him in the movie. He becomes the driving force of the plot and they shape his character in a way that finds a nice balance between too soft and too arrogant. If I had any complaints, Eddie Marsan's character is one of the weakest villains I've seen in the genre, he has little dimension and his screen time is limited. I also preferred the treatment of a few of the original characters in the initial installment (Negasonic and Blind Al were stronger in the first movie). Keep your eyes open for a couple of surprise appearances by a few famous faces in the X-Men lore. However, the surprise villain, is a refreshing unexpected addition that will have you laughing by the time he faces his final combat. 

Director David Leitch is well known for his work in stunts and co-ordinating memorable action set pieces. This has carried over into his directorial efforts, I had a general knowledge of this going in, so I was expecting big things. Again, this movie rose to the task. It equals the original and, in some ways, surpasses it. I've already mentioned Domino, Colossus has a standout fight in the finale of the movie, the direction the movie decided to go with the initial X-Force mission was very surprising and I also liked Cable and Wade's first fight in the prison. The movie doesn't have a signature scene like the 12 bullets opening in Deadpool but there was never a moment that I was bored when the severed limbs were flying. Leitch and his team definitely got the job done and they balanced the humour and the thrills superbly. 


Time for new recruits.
The most formidable character of the film.
Ryan Reynolds followed up his signature turn as the foul-mouthed mercenary with an equally impressive performance. He's joined Hugh Jackman and Robert Downey Jr. as the benchmark of acting within the genre and I question if anyone else could even come close to him playing this character. Morena Baccarin still has great chemistry with Reynolds and their relationship remains as sweet as it did before. Brolin is appropriately cast as Cable, he lived up to high expectations and was appropriately gruff. Zazie Beetz is great as Domino, her casting was met with a lot of criticism but she's funny and I wish we had spent more time with her. Karan Soni carried over his charm from Deadpool as did Brianna Hildebrand. Julian Dennison did a solid job as Russell, I hadn't seen his previous work, but I can understand why so many people were excited to see him. Terry Crews, Bill Skarsgard, Lewis Tan and Rob Delaney were all good as the new X-Force members. Delaney was the standout as Peter. I also liked Stefan Kapicic and Leslie Uggams in their respective supporting parts.

One of the more surprisingly successful parts of the original Deadpool movie was the love story between Wade and Vanessa. It was surprisingly effective, and I dug the direction they took with it. Deadpool 2 is a story about family and while it still worked, it didn't tug at my heartstrings like the emotional core of the first one did. This isn't the fault of the actors or even the writers, it just didn't have the same impact.


Yes, Shatter Star is here too!
Cue to music!
In my opinion, this is a great sequel. It delivers a potent mix of both action and comedy. I was impressed that they refused to rest on the laurels of the original adventure and tried to do something new with it. If you found the first one too crude, too violent or too meta, I don't think this one will work for you. Its a movie that stands on its own, but you get the same creative expression as you did in the first one. I wouldn't say this is better than Deadpool, but it is on that same level for me. 

If you're looking for a "fuck you in the fucking ass, motherfucker" type of movie, say no more, Deadpool 2 hides some of the most clever critics ever made to a fast growing industry that forgot its true fan a long time ago (fuck you Disney!), and became a shameless cashgrab derivative money making machine. Of course, only few people will find out the nuances this great film is packed with.

That is all for today, and as Deadpool would say, "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Here's the movie trailer:

Trailer #1:





Apr 30, 2018

Avengers: Infinity War

10 years for the carnage to be unleashed.
A couple of posts ago (three actually) I said how tired I was of seeing great ideas being tossed into the garbage bin like a cheap forgotten McDonald's burger. Obviously, I was referring to the overnight success of Comic Book films these days. In addition, I was disappointed with what Rian "Dick" Johnson had done with The Last Jedi, and yet here you have me writing about another superhero film...

Avengers: Infinity War as a standalone film, would obviously fail in so many levels, that I'd put right next to the many other films I think are just fucking cash grabs. However, seeing this film marks the 10th anniversary of what humbly started in 2008 with Iron Man, and went on for another 9 years that will surely go on for another decade. 

Avengers forever!
I don't think so.
Plot wise we get a very simple story: Thanos, the powerful space overlord has built an "Infinity Gauntlet" (the actual name of the classic comic book, you posers) that allows him to wage the powerful weight of the six infinity stones. Predictably, friends and foes from all corners of the universe have decided it is time to do something before it's too late for the whole universal existence. 

The movie benefits a lot from its prequels, where most of the characters' personalities were introduced and developed vastly enough to make us care for each of them. Nevertheless, the film does take its time to tell us who Thanos really is, and what he is actually looking for once he gets all the six precious stones. For a CGI guy, I can say he's OK but not the best villain seen in years as many are calling him all over the internet. The fact that he wants to destroy everything because he's a bad guy, seems dated, childish and plane stupid. 

Infinity War does require you to have seen some or most of the MCU in order to fully enjoy its moments, which are many. I'd say you'd have to watch the Captain America trilogy, Thor 2 & 3, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.1, the first Avengers film and Doctor Strange and then, you'll be all set for an entertaining ride. 

Girl power!
Unusual team of heroes.

Directed by the Russo brothers, who also directed Captain America: The Winter Soldier & Captain America: Civil War, the film is a celebration of ten years of entertainment and overall fun. While the film does struggle with some tonal shifts during the first act, its brilliant action scenes and clever dialogue more than make up for these shortcomings. The film's ending will be overwhelming to some and most likely will divide fans over how it is executed. The directors do a superb job developing Thanos' personality outside of simply wanting universal domination. His motivations feel somewhat morally ambiguous and at times even make him seem sympathetic. Despite the film's darker tone, there are still some hilarious scenes of banter among the heroes, particularly between Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) and Steven Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch). 

I was so ready to tear this down - 19th MCU film, too many stars, bloated CGI, first of a two parter, and so on and so on...

Yet, this is so much fun. Pure popcorn...now in the dictionary under "popcorn film" is just the poster for this film. Somehow, the Russo Brothers have juggled all the parts to give everyone some time in the sun. They are helped immensely by two things: the premise is so pure Mcguffin that you just watch Thanos look for Infinity Stones which gives a primal momentum and that the film's stars/characters are looking to move on - that means, actual stakes for once as people could really die and not just comic book dying either.

Never upset an X-Men!
So, it's that bad again Cap,. right?
The DC people must be kicking themselves. The lightness and comedic touches are brilliant. You are laughing out loud, comedy level, but at totally organic character humor. It means you are so entertained throughout its rather long running time.

The other big surprise is Thanos himself. Normally, I hate CGI characters but somehow they have made Thanos and Josh Brolin work enough to give the character an actual arc. This is one of the better MCU villains and I never thought I would write that. In addition, and considering the massive amount of characters this film has, I was surprised to see the Russo brothers were careful enough to give key characters, enough on screen time, to show them doing their thing. Moreover, some characters were even upgraded to the legendary status they have in their respective comic books. For example, and this is not a spoiler, so rest easy, Doctor Strange shows us why he is the real master of mystic arts, and not someone to mess off with. Also, the Mighty Thor (yeah, one of my favorite superheroes of all time) recovers is God-like status, so he's not fucking around when you see him take the lead. I guess, this comes directly as a result of the wonderful Thor Ragnarok movie. In addition, Captain America and his bad-ass team have one of the coolest introduction scenes in the film. 

Not on our watch!
Space Ego V/S Tech Ego.
On the other hand, the female characters feel like they're on a "side quest" rather than part of the big fight. A disappointment considering how many fans these characters have. There's not a single scene (save for one but, nope, not spoiling it here) where they feel truly relevant. Also, I couldn't believe the scene where Black Widow returns to the screen is actually by walking towards a background showing her perfect rounded ass (I mean, isn't that sexist for today's standards?). Same thing happens with Scarlet Witch's breasts here and there.  In addition, the excessive amount of "fan service" feels a bit too much at times. Another minor issue I had, was the fact that some characters personalities were changed in order to fit into the bigger picture when there was no need in doing so. Moreover, the exhausting use of CGI goes entirely against the "painful and dramatic" motif the film has been drawing us into from start to finish. Do computers cry?.

Also, the climax feels a bit too much on the side of the old exploitation tricks 70's films relied on to keep their fans entertained. If you're a comic book reader, you know that nothing is sacred, and that nothing is impossible so, the cliffhanger was a big meh, because you know what will inevitably happen in the sequel. Cheap trick Marvel!, cheap trick.

I could use a hand.
The new Guardians of the Galaxy?
And last but not least, a couple of big downers the film had:
 
How powerful are Thanos abilites? because in one scene he fucking beats the crap out of one of the most powerful MCU characters and later he's punching and kicking far weaker characters that don't seem to be that hurt and disabled after the fight.

And one example of stupidity: When the antagonist is almost beaten, the most stupid thing takes place in order to serve an onion thick plot, and well, now I fucking hate that character.

If I was to rate the film I'd say an 8/10 if watched as it should be: a part of a bigger film collection, and a 5/10 as a standalone film due to the lack of a great many things and a gigantic CGI overuse and video-game like sequences. If I had to rate purely for fun, I'd say the film is a bold 10/10 and probably the film of 2018.  

The film in a single sentence? "Genocide is a good thing".

Here's the movie trailer collection:

Trailer #2:


Trailer #1:


And the red carpet show:


Nov 2, 2017

Thor Ragnarok


Thor returns with tons of laughs!

Happy belated Halloween to y'all! And just when you thought the superhero film ranking was led by Logan & Wonder Woman, voilá! Disney, ahem!, Marvel Studios returns with a vengeance in Thor Ragnarok! Let's admit it, the latest entries in the MCU have been rather mediocre archetypes of previous more successful efforts. Doctor Strange, Spider-Man Homecoming & Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 lacked most of what made other MCU films interesting or worth seeing at least. Anyway, and after two films that were good enough but not excellent, the mighty God of Thunder finally gets the film he deserves! and to make matters even better, you don't even need to watch Thor: The Dark World in order to fully understand what goes on in this new installment of "point blank" as Tony Stark calls Thor.

First of all, let's get rid of the "Aw,but the Ragnarok event in mythology has great battles, foretold to ultimately result in the death of a number of major figures (including the gods Odin, Thor, Týr, Freyr, Heimdallr, and Loki), the occurrence of various natural disasters" nonsensical crap. These movies don't have to stick to the myth or comic books, by the book. The MCU is its own right thing. For instance,in Norse mythology, Fenrir (the giant dog) is the son of Loki and Hela is also the child of Loki. Now tell me how the hell Marvel is gonna show us Hela and Fenrir as Loki's children? Loki is already a well established and grounded character. At this point,I don't think any director/writer could change Loki's past and introduce Fenrir and Hela,as Loki's kids cause this would also bring tons of questions,plot holes and flaws.

Thor is back!
And so does his mischievous brother!
For the sake of MCU continuity,Marvel had to make changes in the Norse Myth and in the comics, and it fucking worked wonders!. Still, the film is mainly based on the Thor comics storylines "Ragnarok" (Thor discovers Asgard is doomed to Ragnarok and must fight to stop it from happening) and the Surtur saga (Surtur appears, and Thor and Loki team up to stop him). It also incorporates elements of the Marvel storylines "Contest of Champions" (the Grandmaster and Death host a tournament) and "Planet Hulk" (the Hulk becomes a gladiator on an alien world).

The performances of the main cast are impressive and exceptional.This movie also showed us the real "God of Thunder". For the first time he was extremely powerful without his hammer. That lighting streaming all over his body was pure awesomeness. In addition, the newly refreshing score/soundtrack really upped the overall musical environment to whole new levels. The eightish sound the score has, plus the varied color palette the many worlds seen on screen have, really drive you back to epic adventures filmed in the 1980's! And don't get me started on using "Immigrant Song"! a Led Zeppelin classic that screams God of Thunder!. Led Zeppelin rarely borrows their music for other media, and I'm sure they made the right choice when they noticed their lyrics fit the movie like a glove. Feel like singing?

Here's one of the greatest song ever written for your listening pleasure:



And just so you don't get lost in translation, here are the lyrics so that you can see how fantastic the soundtrack choice is:

Ah-ah, ah!
Ah-ah, ah!
We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow
The hammer of the gods
We'll drive our ships to new lands
To fight the horde, and sing and cry
Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar
Our only goal will be the western shore
Ah-ah, ah!
Ah-ah, ah!
We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow
How soft your fields so green
Can whisper tales of gore
Of how we calmed the tides of war
We are your overlords
On we sweep with threshing oar
Our only goal will be the western shore
So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
 

Hela, goddess from hell!
The grandmaster and his "imprisoned workers".
This movie is mostly targeted for everybody looking for a good time. As stated above, you don't need any knowledge from previous Thor films and even other MCU movies which is great, because if you can entertain people that are not familiar with your products, it's because you're making fucking masterpieces! So, ten thumbs up for director Taika Waititi

Moreover, They finally gave hulk a personality. Even though he looks all big,formidable and scary,he was kinda adorable every time he talks. So glad they finally made him talk. Also, they really improved his CGI.This is the definitive version of Hulk in the MCU. Even the haircut they gave him made him look better.

Hulk smashes again!
Doctor Strange is in the craft beer industry now.
The newcomer, Tessa Thompson surprised me with her performance. They say she based her character's personality in Terminator's Sarah Connor. The criticism on why she isn't a white actress (like in the Norde myth) is completely pointless, and biased. She kicks ass in the role because of her talent, not because of her look.

Taika Waititi felt that, despite the events of the film setting up Avengers: Infinity War (2018), the film would not only stand on its own, but reinvent the franchise: "A lot of what we're doing with the film is, in a way, dismantling and destroying the old idea and rebuilding it in a new way that's fresh. Everyone's got a slightly new take on their characters, so in that way, it feels like Thor (2011)."And boy does Thor Ragnarok feel refreshing!. Waititi decribes his film as a "1970s and 80s science fiction fantasy, the most 'out there' of all the Marvel movies." He cited Big Trouble in Little China (1986) as a major influence on the film: "It's a fun adventure film that has big stakes, but also has a breakneck speed and takes you on a crazy adventure."

Girl power. Real girl power.
The Revengers!
Director Taika Waititi said that he wanted to showcase Chris Hemsworth's comedic talent in this film: "He's so good and underutilized in that department. He's legitimately one of the funniest things in this film." In addition, Hemsworth had to bulk up again for his role as the mighty god Thor. He had to follow a strict diet, and workout six to seven times a week, and eat around six thousand calories a day. Hemsworth's trainer, Luke Zocchi, revealed that Hemsworth put on twenty pounds of muscle for his role in the film, taking his weight over two hundred pounds for the film, by following an "old-school bodybuilding regime lifting a large weight-load for small number of reps." Zocchi revealed Hemsworth's favorite body part to train was his biceps, saying, "We design the workout around the body parts he's gonna be showing off the most, he's gonna have his arms and shoulders showing (through the sleeveless armor), so that's the thing we really focus on building up. He probably bicep curls thirty kilo dumbbells on average, each hand, so one hundred twenty pounds total. We always do seated incline curls, standing curls, and hammer curls. We started lighter and slowly, progressively get heavier." Zocchi said they are trying to deliver Hemsworth's best physique yet for this film.  

Tom Hiddleston  on the other hand, explains that since Thor: The Dark World (2013), "Loki has devoted most of his efforts to narcissistic self-glorification, not so much on good governance. Loki has always tested the limits of his power and the boundaries placed upon him. He doesn't just stick his finger in the electrical plug socket, he burns the house down. And now he has to deal with the consequences." He then adds, "It's in Loki's nature to change. He's a mercurial spirit, and the minute you try to define him he changes shape. But events in Ragnarok try and inspire him to change forever. The Goddess of Death shows up, and the stakes are high for everybody, so Loki, perhaps more than ever, is challenged to define himself in the face of that threat. He and Thor are in such an extraordinary situation where everything is so unfamiliar that their familiarity, as family members, becomes important." 

BFFs!
Suit up Revengers!
Unlike some people's petty,shallow claims,I don't think marvel is always using the same formula again and again since 2008. Cause if they fallowed that path since 2008,people wouldn't watch their movies for the past 9 years.And they definitely couldn't create the highest-grossing franchise of the planet without their major players like Fantastic 4,X-men and Spider man. 

Overall, Thor: Ragnarok plunges headfirst into unbridled comedy and Waititi gives his actors ample room to showcase their natural comedic talents, especially Hemsworth and Blanchett, who are rarely seen having so much fun. Jeff Goldblum, Karl Urban, and Ruffalo also shine, and Tessa Thompson steals scenes as Valkyrie, a hard-drinking Asgardian bounty hunter and former member of Odin's elite guard. Overall, the film benefits from its director's distinct style and measured irreverence, giving Thor a welcome boost of vitality.

Here's the movie trailer:

 

Jul 9, 2017

Spider-Man Homecoming

Lame.
Superhero films are getting more and more retarded with time, and when some decide to make serious driven films, fanboys bash them like there's no tomorrow. I still think Batman V Superman was an excellent film, an got even better with the extended edition. In addition, Suicide Squad took all the tricks Marvel's been praised for and again, shot to pieces.
 
Marvel's first Spider-Man movie is exclusively for kids & teens despite it has a few moments for adults, though it can sour upon further reflection.

Let's start with the good stuff. Tom Holland is probably the best Spider-Man yet. His best friend provides great comic relief and the two have terrific chemistry. Marisa Tomei adds a breathe of fresh air to the role of Aunt May. Michael Keaton provides Marvel with its first memorable villain in a while (and perhaps the only characters we grown ups can relate to, and Aunt May of course). The action scenes flow smoothly, and the humor mostly works (again, this is a teen movie).

Those are the things that stand out after immediately leaving the theater, and for that reason it gets "meets the standards" marks in my book. 
 
Superhero by night.
Boring breakfast club parody by day.

But the adult in me started thinking about what I just watched, and there's some stuff that bugs me. The following contains minor spoilers.

"With great power comes great responsibility" is the famous line from the first Spider-Man, which neatly summarizes the core theme of the film, and Peter Parker's internal conflict with being Spider-Man.

This film also has a one-liner like that, spoken to Peter by Tony Stark: "If you're nothing without this suit, you don't deserve to wear it." Which sounds like a god awful nod the shitty Iron Man 3 film that ended the solo career of the metal-asshole man. And it's actually quite illustrative of what's wrong with this film.

The fist Spider-Man movie in 2002 emphasized taking responsibility for your actions. The amount of responsibility this Spider-Man takes for his actions is, well, none. A list of the damage this "friendly neighborhood" Spider-Man directly/indirectly inflicts includes: - Swinging through a neighborhood destroying roofs, fences, tree houses, etc. - Blowing up a bodega - Setting a bomb off in the Washington Monument nearly killing all his friends - Blowing up a boat, nearly drowning everyone on board - Nearly crashing a plane into a city.
 
One of the two good things about the film.
and the other pair of good things about this flick.

Now it's not like Spider-Man is trying to stop some ticking time bomb or rescue a loved one from imminent death, and all these destructive acts are the consequence. No, he's simply chasing down thieves, led by The Vulture.

However, Peter Parker's recklessness eventually forces Tony Stark to take back the advanced suit, delivering the impactful line. And yet, Peter Parker dons his homemade Spider-Man costume a couple scenes later when he learns the Vulture has another heist planned, which results in the aforementioned plane scene.  
 
But Tony isn't mad about that one, cause Spider-Man got the bad guy this time. Ends justify the means I guess. I don't want to extrapolate without ruining the whole movie, but suffice to say, it's inexplicable that Tony is okay with Peter's actions, especially considering the events of the Civil War movie.

Thus thematically, there really is no arch. Peter doesn't learn about taking responsibility for his actions - he simply accomplishes a task without wearing the high tech suit Tony gave him. Peter's only real lesson in the movie is that he'd rather be a regular kid than an Avenger. 

Badass suit.
Badass entry. (stolen from Batman Begins)
In addition, how did he get his powers?, how does he train? how come he has no Spider fucking sense! that power is key to the character and instead all we get is an insecure kid looking for a father figure in an asshole that has caused the most disastrous problems in the MCU! God! I do hope Iron Man gets killed in the final installment of the Avengers films, I just can't stand how they try to make a complete asshat look cool just because he's rich and magically smart.
 
I know the Spider-Man origin story has been retold twice already, Once successfully in 2002, and one disgraceful in 2012 but yet what I feared in the trailers became the ultimate truth: out of complete desperation, producers forced Tony Stark's way into what could have been a truly refreshing debut film for the greatest Marvel Comics character there has ever been, and all we get is a big fucking yawn!

Before the Tony Stark scholarship.
After the Tony Stark scholarship.
And then there's the nitpicking.

Let's start with Flash Gordon, the classic "cool jock" who's a major asshole and bullies Peter throughout high school.

Well now he's not a jock at all. He's a "nerd" (in fact, literally every high school character in this film falls into the modern day millennial "nerd" category) who is still a major asshole and bullies Peter. He calls him "Penis Parker" and, well, that's about it. His character's sole purpose seems to be to remind the audience "hey, bullies can be smart academically- minded kids too!" Um, okay. Someone let me know if you know a kid on the Science Debate Team who leads chants of "Penis" as he DJs a house party to mock a classmate. I'm genuinely curious.

Then there's the girl Peter likes, who mostly ignores him but is on the same trivia team as Peter (Flash is also on this team, as is every other student you meet). Peter ditches her all the time, but for some reason he musters the courage to ask her out, and inexplicably she says yes. 
 
Don't mess with me kid!
Don't mess with him kid!
There's another girl named Michelle who's the resident loner (again, on the trivia team) who refuses to tour the Washington Monument in order to remind the audience that slaves built it. However, this completely contradicts with the "Make America Great Again!" sticker on her backpack.

That's a joke.
 
Overall, a popcorn movie. The trailers where pretty much the whole story and there really isn't anything likeable about Peter Parker's new friends. The teenager he plays is clearly on fast forward, up to a point where he's unbearable. I can clearly tell, producers wanted the Ultimate Spider-Man (from the animation) turned into a live action character. They failed, and so they have been failing since Avengers 2: Age of Ultron. The Captain America films are the only ones worth watching, the MCU is dead as fuck.

Here's the movie trailer collection featuring the best moments of a film that could have been great: