Spider-Man Homecoming

Lame.

Superhero films are getting more and more retarded with time, and when some decide to make serious driven films, fanboys bash them like there's no tomorrow. I still think Batman V Superman was an excellent film, an got even better with the extended edition. In addition, Suicide Squad took all the tricks Marvel's been praised for and again, shot to pieces.

 

Marvel's first Spider-Man movie is exclusively for kids & teens despite it has a few moments for adults, though it can sour upon further reflection.

Let's start with the good stuff. Tom Holland is probably the best Spider-Man yet. His best friend provides great comic relief and the two have terrific chemistry. Marisa Tomei adds a breathe of fresh air to the role of Aunt May. Michael Keaton provides Marvel with its first memorable villain in a while (and perhaps the only characters we grown ups can relate to, and Aunt May of course). The action scenes flow smoothly, and the humor mostly works (again, this is a teen movie).

Those are the things that stand out after immediately leaving the theater, and for that reason it gets "meets the standards" marks in my book. 

 

Superhero by night.

Boring breakfast club parody by day.

But the adult in me started thinking about what I just watched, and there's some stuff that bugs me. The following contains minor spoilers.

"With great power comes great responsibility" is the famous line from the first Spider-Man, which neatly summarizes the core theme of the film, and Peter Parker's internal conflict with being Spider-Man.

This film also has a one-liner like that, spoken to Peter by Tony Stark: "If you're nothing without this suit, you don't deserve to wear it." Which sounds like a god awful nod the shitty Iron Man 3 film that ended the solo career of the metal-asshole man. And it's actually quite illustrative of what's wrong with this film.

The fist Spider-Man movie in 2002 emphasized taking responsibility for your actions. The amount of responsibility this Spider-Man takes for his actions is, well, none. A list of the damage this "friendly neighborhood" Spider-Man directly/indirectly inflicts includes: - Swinging through a neighborhood destroying roofs, fences, tree houses, etc. - Blowing up a bodega - Setting a bomb off in the Washington Monument nearly killing all his friends - Blowing up a boat, nearly drowning everyone on board - Nearly crashing a plane into a city.

 

One of the two good things about the film.

and the other pair of good things about this flick.

Now it's not like Spider-Man is trying to stop some ticking time bomb or rescue a loved one from imminent death, and all these destructive acts are the consequence. No, he's simply chasing down thieves, led by The Vulture.

However, Peter Parker's recklessness eventually forces Tony Stark to take back the advanced suit, delivering the impactful line. And yet, Peter Parker dons his homemade Spider-Man costume a couple scenes later when he learns the Vulture has another heist planned, which results in the aforementioned plane scene.  

 

But Tony isn't mad about that one, cause Spider-Man got the bad guy this time. Ends justify the means I guess. I don't want to extrapolate without ruining the whole movie, but suffice to say, it's inexplicable that Tony is okay with Peter's actions, especially considering the events of the Civil War movie.

Thus thematically, there really is no arch. Peter doesn't learn about taking responsibility for his actions - he simply accomplishes a task without wearing the high tech suit Tony gave him. Peter's only real lesson in the movie is that he'd rather be a regular kid than an Avenger. 

Badass suit.

Badass entry. (stolen from Batman Begins)

In addition, how did he get his powers?, how does he train? how come he has no Spider fucking sense! that power is key to the character and instead all we get is an insecure kid looking for a father figure in an asshole that has caused the most disastrous problems in the MCU! God! I do hope Iron Man gets killed in the final installment of the Avengers films, I just can't stand how they try to make a complete asshat look cool just because he's rich and magically smart.

 

I know the Spider-Man origin story has been retold twice already, Once successfully in 2002, and one disgraceful in 2012 but yet what I feared in the trailers became the ultimate truth: out of complete desperation, producers forced Tony Stark's way into what could have been a truly refreshing debut film for the greatest Marvel Comics character there has ever been, and all we get is a big fucking yawn!

Before the Tony Stark scholarship.

After the Tony Stark scholarship.

And then there's the nitpicking.

Let's start with Flash Gordon, the classic "cool jock" who's a major asshole and bullies Peter throughout high school.

Well now he's not a jock at all. He's a "nerd" (in fact, literally every high school character in this film falls into the modern day millennial "nerd" category) who is still a major asshole and bullies Peter. He calls him "Penis Parker" and, well, that's about it. His character's sole purpose seems to be to remind the audience "hey, bullies can be smart academically- minded kids too!" Um, okay. Someone let me know if you know a kid on the Science Debate Team who leads chants of "Penis" as he DJs a house party to mock a classmate. I'm genuinely curious.

Then there's the girl Peter likes, who mostly ignores him but is on the same trivia team as Peter (Flash is also on this team, as is every other student you meet). Peter ditches her all the time, but for some reason he musters the courage to ask her out, and inexplicably she says yes. 

 

Don't mess with me kid!

Don't mess with him kid!

There's another girl named Michelle who's the resident loner (again, on the trivia team) who refuses to tour the Washington Monument in order to remind the audience that slaves built it. However, this completely contradicts with the "Make America Great Again!" sticker on her backpack.

That's a joke.

 

Overall, a popcorn movie. The trailers where pretty much the whole story and there really isn't anything likeable about Peter Parker's new friends. The teenager he plays is clearly on fast forward, up to a point where he's unbearable. I can clearly tell, producers wanted the Ultimate Spider-Man (from the animation) turned into a live action character. They failed, and so they have been failing since Avengers 2: Age of Ultron. The Captain America films are the only ones worth watching, the MCU is dead as fuck.

Here's the movie trailer collection featuring the best moments of a film that could have been great:

Ms. 45

The time for men to die has come.

As previously discussed in our Run! Bitch Run! review, making a good exploitation films requires a lot of talent, and sometimes, the usual tricks (nudity, sex, graphic violence)  are not enough to convince the connoisseur audience. Today's entry is one of those exceptional rape & revenge films made with class: Ms. 45, AKA  Angel of Vengeance, is a magnificent 1981 movie that knows less is more. Directed by Abel Ferrara, a neo-noir film maker with an extended selection of independent films where gritty urban settings are his trademark.  

The girls-with-guns fetish is a major erotic element in the exploitation genre, so much so that it's hard to imagine a one-sheet movie poster for a low-budgeted action flick without one. The most notable, including (but not limited to) "Thriller: a Cruel Picture", "Foxy Brown", and "Hannie Caulder", were bonkers revenge beasts that pushed the boundaries of already boundary pushing territory — and 1981's "Ms. 45" is arguably the sensational peak of the juxtaposing sub genre. The film is an explosive portrait of a serial killer, disguised as a luscious ode to the earlier, more substantial revenge flicks of the 1970s.

Thana, a regular girl living in a regular world.

Mute but with a lot to say.

Though it has Ferrara's greasy fingerprints smeared all over it, "Ms. 45" is Zoë Lund's show — an ethereal beauty with looks just as comparable to Lauren Bacall as they are to an alien women from a distant planet, Lund plays Thana, a mute seamstress who lives alone in a dumpy apartment on the bad side of town. Day after day, she and her female co-workers are harassed by street punks who catcall with underlying threat. While her peers have the ability to flip the bird at a potential predator or throw out an insult to make the message clear, Thana is forced to remain quiet, giving most the idea that she likes the constant coos.

One particularly rough day, she is raped at gunpoint in an alleyway by a sadistic masked goon, who gets away before she can contact the authorities. Beaten up and understandably traumatized, she barely makes it up to her apartment. Only seconds into gathering her thoughts and understanding the reality of the situation, though, she finds herself in the presence of yet another attacker, who coincidentally hid in the flat during her horrifying walk home. He too proceeds to sexually assault her, but he doesn't get away with it — while under duress, Thana grabs a nearby glass fixture and slams it against his head, killing him instantly.

A coward monster hides behind the mask.

Thana's turning point.

A few paranoid encounters later (though none of them nearly as serious as her prior two damaging experiences), Thana goes from silent victim to femme fatale, embarking on a path of revenge with eyes set only on the male sex. Only she doesn't murder in self- defense — she targets men violent toward women, men showing care for women, and men just walking around and, you know, being men. Thana's quest acts as a sort of metaphor for the crushing societal norm of male dominance, playing out like a potential scenario if women stopped taking unwanted come-ons and didn't let rape become an undiscussed taboo, thus avenging the wrongs done to them by a culture that accepts inequality.

But this is only a passing analyzation, considering "Ms. 45" was made as a violent exercise in cinema, laced in sadomasochism, gritty street danger, and visual eroticism. N.G. St. John's screenplay is extremely simplistic, setting up an abundance of climactic scenarios and allowing Lund to do most of the heavy lifting; and aside from a myriad of visual exultations (the rainy noir texture of Thana's first moonlit mass killing, the harrowing finale, which is a slow-motion account of a massacre at a Halloween party during which Thana masquerades as a killer nun), Ferrara mostly does the same. Lund's expressive face, lit with, exotic enchanting beauty, tells a story all on its own, beginning with a meek innocence and morphing into something savage. It's impossible to take one's eyes off of her otherworldly facsimile. So simultaneously virginal and deadly, it makes her actions all the more terrifying.

This woman isn't afraid anymore.

Die! disgusting man!

Despite the above mentioned scenery & Lund's acting, music and the lack of it, also play a key role in the film. There are moments where our heroine is desperate and alone, and that's exactly what we get from the absence of music, while when raging situations are about to take place, music is there to energize the moment. Joe Delia wrote the music, that fits like a glove, and takes you back in time where scores played a key role in setting the overall mood on a good film.

The name of Zoë Lund's character, Thana, is reminiscent of the Greek god of death, "Thanatos". Sigmund Freud used the word to refer to the "death drive", a subject's internal drive to return to an inorganic state.

 

Blessed bullets.

a nunsploitation nod.

Zoe Lund's ability to keep hold of an audience despite her lack of speech in this movie is truly phenomenal, and it's what's truly makes this film worth watching not just one time but a lot of times. During all of the action sequences, her innate command of viewers takes hold and makes your eyes automatically drawn to her and Thana's character. The way she shows Thana's ongoing mental decay is brilliant as well. She was certainly brilliant in the film, but what happened to her leaves much to be desired.

Unfortunately, Lund died of a cocaine overdose when she was 37 years old. She was a talented musician, model and screenwriter, and rather easy on the eyes. It's too bad she was taken at such a young age, like many other talented actresses. Who knows where she could have gone with that many talents...  

Dressed to kill.

Undressed to kill.

Ms. 45 was first shown at the Cannes Film Festival and the Milano Film Festival before its official release on April 24, 1981.Although ridiculed upon release, the film became a cult object and was released on DVD for the first time in the year 2000 by Image Entertainment, a brand known for their extensive catalogue of obscure cult movies. Later, in 2014 the film was re-released by Drafthouse Entertainment on DVD & in pristine high definition Blu Ray.

 
Overall, Ms. 45 is a  strange but highly enjoyable film that takes exploitation films to a whole new level. The gritty direction by Abel Ferrara and the smart writing from Nicholas St. John elevate this movie above most of the mediocre rip offs that were produced during this time period.

Here's the movie trailer: