The Star Wars Holiday Special

a long time ago, in a holiday far away...

Now that  Rogue One: a Star Wars story is just around the corner, we decided it's time to revisit our Star Wars fandom with a very special review. In the past, we covered every Star Wars episode to date. We even included reviews for the made for TV Ewok films and it was about time we paid our debt with the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. Made directly for TV and directed by Steve Binder this may be the worst official Star Wars film ever made.

Honestly, what Star Wars fan wouldn't want to watch this? (and how many have already watched it many times?) Well, maybe a few. Made after the massive success Episode IV: A New Hope had in 1977, this 1978 TV special featured every major Star Wars star, and even introduced the world to new characters that would be part of the following sequels, while other new characters where blasted into oblivion just like the idea of an official release of the film.

The original cast returns...

...plus a few new additions.

First off, yes, I and no one else who is a Star Wars fan, who has seen this, will ever disagree it is complete and total crap. But you know the old saying about train wrecks, you just have to watch them, this is that. Because as unbelievably horrible as it is, and as totally unfathomably bad every scene is, as a Star Wars fan you want to see these characters in new scenes (specially those who were there in 1978, where no SW sequels would happen until 1980)

It IS cool seeing "new" footage of Han and Chewie in the Falcon's cockpit. It's cool seeing Luke do his thing(despite his surgery that makes his face look odd), Leia, the droids, everyone, although this is nothing but a huge mess, you gotta like seeing these characters again somewhere. Of course, as you watch you may say to yourself that you wish you had NEVER seen this, because it taints the memory of these great Star Wars characters. So was actually seeing this special worth it? If you can keep your feelings about Star Wars in check and dismiss this easily, sure it is.

Wanna sing a holiday song Leia?

I really rather you didn't Luke.

The Boba Fett debut appearance (that's it you newbies! before the special editions, Boba Fett wouldn't show up until Episode V) in the animated sequence is very cool, best thing about the show probably. It's too short though, especially in such a long show.

But you know, this is one part of the Star Wars universe where I would love some additional information. The special itself we have - but this is the only piece of the Star Wars universe we know almost nothing of the background about. How was this show proposed? What were the creative meetings for this abomination like? Who felt this should be 2 hours long in broadcast time? What did the actors say and feel when they read what they were supposed to do? How did the recording of Carrie Fisher's "Star Wars song" go? Did everyone on screen just think this was a big joke before it was through?

And most importantly...did absolutely no one whatsoever in power have any ability at all to see this final product and realize what a complete piece of garbage this was, and what a blight on the Star Wars universe this would surely become? Were there stipulations that said this HAD to air, and they couldn't even trim it down?

I'm Boba Fett.

I take it you have no love of the empire.

I can't believe after creating such a masterpiece like "Star Wars" that George Lucas didn't have the eyes to see what a total hack job this Star Wars Holiday TV Special was. 

The special has never been released on video, but bootleg videos have been circulating for years, and are now all over the internet. George Lucas remarked at an Australian convention that "if I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every bootlegged copy of that program and smash it." 

According to Carrie Fisher, Lucas gave her a copy of the special as a gift for recording the DVD commentary for Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977). She claims that she plays it at parties when she wants her guests to leave.  

mm, nice to meet you.

Laugh it up fuzz ball!

Plotwise the holiday special  follows Chewbacca and Han Solo who pay a visit to Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's home world, to celebrate Life Day. They are pursued by agents of the Galactic Empire, who are searching for members of the Rebel Alliance on the planet. The special introduces three members of Chewbacca's family: his father Itchy, his wife Malla, and his son Lumpy, though these names were later explained to have been nicknames, their full names being Attichitcuk, Mallatobuck, and Lumpawarrump, respectively. 

The program also features many other Star Wars characters, including Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, R2-D2, Darth Vader and Princess Leia (who sings the film's "theme song", set to the music of John Williams' Star Wars theme, near the end). The program includes stock footage from Star Wars, and also features a cartoon produced by Toronto-based Nelvana that officially introduces the bounty hunter Boba Fett. Scenes also take place in outer space and in spacecraft including the Millennium Falcon and an Imperial Star Destroyer. The variety-show segments and cartoon introduce a few other locales, such as a cantina on the desert planet of Tatooine and a red ocean planet known as Panna.

Let's all sing the song of joy.

Funky music was also a big thing in Kashyyyk.

According to Charles Lippincott, who was head of marketing of what was termed "The Star Wars Corporation", CBS brought the idea of doing a TV special to Lucas, although there is some debate within Lucas's inner circle about this claim. Lucas was not heavily involved with the special, and his name does not appear in its credits. Still it was Lucas's idea to build the narrative around a family of speechless Wookiees and their celebration of Life Day. Bruce Vilanch, who was hired as a writer, was concerned about the challenges this decision would pose to writing and feared that the special would turn into "one long episode of Lassie". Regardless Lucas would not budge on the story.

The special went through two directors. The first, David Acomba, was brought in in an attempt to "make us different in variety shows", according to Lippencott. Acomba, a classmate of George Lucas at USC film school, was unfamiliar with a multi camera setup, which caused some problems. Acomba also felt that there was a divide between him and the producers and quit after finishing only a few scenes. He was replaced by Steve Binder. Binder never got to meet Lucas before the show but instead got a "Wookiee Bible" detailing how Wookiees were supposed to look and behave. Acomba chose to leave the project, a decision supported by Lucas.

Prototype toys of Chewie's family.

The special was broadcast in its entirety only once, in the United States, on Friday, November 17, 1978 (the week before Thanksgiving), on the U.S. television network CBS from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time (EST), pre-empting Wonder Woman and The Incredible Hulk; and on the Canadian television network CTV from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time. It was also broadcast in New Zealand on TVNZ and in Australia on the Seven Network.

Here's the infamous holiday special for your viewing pleasure (?)

Also, Diahann Carroll "This Minute Now"

The Jefferson Starship "Light the Sky on Fire" song:

And last but not least, Princess Leia sings "A Day to Celebrate":

Let’s start with the most obvious snag. About six minutes into the movie, right after Darth Vader (Lexington Steele) and a bunch of scantily clad Stormtroopers bust in on Princess Leia (Allie Haze)’s spaceship, we get our first sex scene. Those of you who were paying attention to the number of proper nouns in that last sentence may have already figured out where this is going.
See, in the original films at least, Darth Vader is actually Princess Leia’s father, which makes it pretty darned uncomfortable when the first ten minutes of this movie find him going right at her for a pretty vigorous interrogation about the whereabouts of the Rebel Alliance. With his penis.


Read More: ‘Star Wars XXX': The Porn Parody Is Still Better Than The Prequels [Review] | http://comicsalliance.com/star-wars-xxx-porn-movie-review/?trackback=tsmclip

Let’s start with the most obvious snag. About six minutes into the movie, right after Darth Vader (Lexington Steele) and a bunch of scantily clad Stormtroopers bust in on Princess Leia (Allie Haze)’s spaceship, we get our first sex scene. Those of you who were paying attention to the number of proper nouns in that last sentence may have already figured out where this is going.
See, in the original films at least, Darth Vader is actually Princess Leia’s father, which makes it pretty darned uncomfortable when the first ten minutes of this movie find him going right at her for a pretty vigorous interrogation about the whereabouts of the Rebel Alliance. With his penis.


Read More: ‘Star Wars XXX': The Porn Parody Is Still Better Than The Prequels [Review] | http://comicsalliance.com/star-wars-xxx-porn-movie-review/?trackback=tsmclip

Let’s start with the most obvious snag. About six minutes into the movie, right after Darth Vader (Lexington Steele) and a bunch of scantily clad Stormtroopers bust in on Princess Leia (Allie Haze)’s spaceship, we get our first sex scene. Those of you who were paying attention to the number of proper nouns in that last sentence may have already figured out where this is going.
See, in the original films at least, Darth Vader is actually Princess Leia’s father, which makes it pretty darned uncomfortable when the first ten minutes of this movie find him going right at her for a pretty vigorous interrogation about the whereabouts of the Rebel Alliance. With his penis.


Read More: ‘Star Wars XXX': The Porn Parody Is Still Better Than The Prequels [Review] | http://comicsalliance.com/star-wars-xxx-porn-movie-review/?trackback=tsmclip

Doctor Strange

Derivative Supreme.

According to Dictionary.Com, an archetype is the original pattern or model from which all things of the same kind are copied or on which they are based; a model or first form; prototype. 2. (in Jungian psychology) a collectively inherited unconscious idea, pattern of thought, image, etc., universally present in individual psyches. In this day and age, Science Fiction films, namely superhero films, are yesterday news. Anyone trying to find a groundbreaking new comic book movie, will have an easier time breathing underwater. 

Doctor Strange is the 14th movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the second film from what is called "Phase 3" (Civil War, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, Thor Ragnarok, Avengers Infinity War, Black Panther & Captain Marvel are the remaining films from it) Loosely based upon the creation of Steve Ditko, this movie delivers yet another couple of hours of derivative nonsense already seen before here and there, and not even the CGI effects make it a refreshing new take on the genre.   

I do things with my hands.

Look, I'm doing more things with my hands.

I had "standard" fun watching this movie the first 45 minutes and then set my mind into something else, still being able to catch up with ease with the weak plot. The focus of the film is clearly centered on the massive set of CGI scenes Doctor Strange features, while screenplay and plot are nowhere to be seen. Benedict Cumberbatch is a great actor, and the tiresome overall feel of the movie has nothing to do with him. On the contrary, he adds the human touch the film requires in order to make believe the audience. 

The movie follows the same basic formula as all of the other MCU movies. There's quips, there's jokes, there's a McGuffin, there's a 1-dimensional villain.

I don't know you but I'll teach you all my secrets.

Did you know sorcerers dance?

Movie's sole purpose is another lead-up to the next Avengers. The mystical artifact Strange uses turns out to be an Infinity Stone. "Shocking". If I had a dollar for every time Marvel did something that took me by surprise, I'd be flat broke, because you can see this stuff coming from a mile away.

I swear, I almost walked out when I heard the wifi password joke.

Marvel Movies have a tendency to love to have the hero getting betrayed by someone they thought an ally. Baron Mordo is a friend of Strange and his group in the movie. He's a villain in the comics. Anyone knows what is coming from a mile away. He doesn't go full bad guy in this one, but expect him to be full on evil in the sequel.

Another thing nearly every single MCU movie does is the fake-out death. A character will die and then in the next movie or even just in the post-credit scene of the movie they died in they'll pop up alive and well. Seriously, go back and look. Wong dies in this movie and Strange just reverses time and brings him back. The only character I think has stayed dead is Quicksilver. And there were rumors he was going to pop up alive and well somehow in the New Avengers scene at the end of Age of Ultron.

In the cover of a magazine!

Reading is magical.

The warped city stuff isn't as revolutionary is people claim. Considering Inception did it 6 years ago and that horrible Devil May Cry reboot did something similar as well.

Movie is getting stellar reviews, which doesn't mean much. At this point Marvel Studios could just release a 2 hour movie that is just the main character sipping a glass of tea while sniffing a dog turd and it would still get critical acclaim.

You know why it's so freaking hard to enjoy Marvel movies these days? When everyone is on the bandwagon and everyone attacks you if you have a different opinion, and when the movies are praised for being "amazing" when in reality they're just actually "just okay" or only "halfway decent", it makes them movies feel worse to me because when they don't live up to what critics and the fanboys say it is.

Like Civil War this year. Everyone called it a "Masterpiece." Then I saw it and the whole movie only functioned because of the gaping plot holes. But if you point out said plot holes you get vilified.

Pornography. Not even once.

We're the bad guys nobody will care about.

I think this movie might be the last MCU movie I bother seeing. They all feel the same, follow the same formula, and the fanboys make going to see them insufferable. Maybe Spider-man: Homecoming could be good, but since they have Vulture, Shocker, and Tinkerer (3 1- dimensional villains) as the villains of the film, it looks like the movie is already setting up to be the same movie with different characters we've seen about 15 times now. Just watch, I bet that the plot ends up being Vulture trying to steal a priceless artifact and Spidey has to keep it from him, and then in the post-credit scene it's revealed to be an Infinity Stone so they can do another "Look, look, shared universe,everything tied together" moment that are tired at this point.

Why do I rate it 1 out of 10? I'd have given it a five, but the over-hyped nonsense from critics and the Marvel fanboys just makes these movies feel worse than they actually are to me. A mediocre movie ends up feeling like complete trash when everyone is calling it one of the best movies ever and then you see it and it's just "kind of sort of okay" Especially when the only thing I thought was good in the movie was the special effects. I also enjoyed the special effects in the Transformers series, but as we all know, those movies suck, and no amount of great special effects will save a crap movie.

Movie also shows the problems the MCU will be facing soon. Dr. Strange is a D-list character at best. After they lose Iron Man, Cap, Hulk, Widow, Thor, Nick Fury, and the other characters that the MCU was built on, they'll only have Spider-man and a bunch of C and D-listers holding their shared universe together. 

Overall, a derivative and very expensive turd that fad cocksuckers are already praising as the ultimate masterpiece. If you still want to watch a good movie, choose the original 1978 Doctor Strange TV movie, because it features what this one lacks: a plot & decent storytelling.

Here's the movie trailer: