The Man with the Iron Fists

A tribute to martial arts?

2012 didn't seem to be the greatest year for film making, or for martial arts flicks anyways. We had the amazing Avengers film and, my personal favorite The Dark Knight Rises. Both films had something in common: professional producers, directors, writers and actors, something today's entry lacks deeply. When I heard of "The Man with the Iron Fists" I thought it would be fair to give it a try. Specially after having watched a very promising trailer. However, to make good movies you not only need good actors and a budget, you're definitely most welcomed to have talented writers, producers and directors, so yeah today's entry is about one of the films you shouldn't bother watching, unless you're a complete RZA fan, something I think most martial arts fans are not. So I rate "the Man with the Iron Fists" zero stars, and I'm sorry for Lucy Liu & Russell Crowe who I guess did their best for the movie to enter into the world of martial arts classics.

I provided this rating based on the fact that I would not see this movie a second time, would not recommend it to a friend, and did not take anything away from it other than the thought that Quentin Tarantino must have been high when he agreed to lend his name out for it.

RZA plays the man with the iron fists role.

the Fighting sequences are very good.

I saw this movie because of my love for martial arts flicks, and I usually give all of them a chance. What I expected to see was some decent fight choreography back-dropped with a sick soundtrack, perhaps some old school stuff like in the Tarantino/Rodriguez flicks, but no, it was all hip-hop baesed only. I wasn't surprised though, since the RZA belongs to the hip-hop genre and if you don't remember the RZA did some music for Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill blockbuster. Now from what I recall on the soundtrack part, it just did not deliver. And I know that RZA could have incorporated a couple tracks that would have lined this film up nice. Some that could have been included were; Da Mystery of Chessboxin', Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuttin ta F*** Wit, and pretty much anything from the 36 Chambers album. The fight scenes were mediocre until only near the end to which I decided I would suck it up and just watch the rest of the movie. The first scene of the film actually made me angry because the fight scene was chopped up (which I hate), and the track they used in the background (actually from the 36 Chambers album) just didn't fit right!

 a Cowboy in a martial arts flick?

The Lions clan.

Other things that were disappointing, other than Bautista from WWE showing up, was the weak script and amateurish plot. The dialogue was horrible (see quote from above) and the plot was...well there wasn't really a plot at all. I walked out of the movie asking myself/trying to remember what the story was really about. I'm not sure if it was because I was blown away by RZA's acting or because I was too busy trying to figure out why Russell Crowe was in the movie at all.

The set and costume design were the only things I thought were good about the movie. And the effort to create something visually appealing did not go unnoticed. But its all about the story and characters, which were both lacking aside from Lucy Liu's bit. Wait I think I just remembered what the movie was about...yeah it's pretty weak. Perhaps, we can blame it to the constant unnecesary homage environment the movie sets from start to finish. You don't need to be a deep connoisseur of martial arts films as to discover the many references quoted in this film. Paying homage it's not a problem of course. The problem is most of what the film tries to deliver as refreshing new is nothing but yawning old. There are no interesting new things to discover in this film. There was one particular scene where Luci Liu fights that couldn't help to be a obvious Kill Bill reference, besides the fighting sequences aren't as cool as they look in the movie trailer.

Lucy Liu reprises her martial arts role.

Hey, this is a hot lady.

If Quentin Tarantino had more involvement/any involvement at all in this movie it might have been quite possibly something spectacular. But then RZA would have probably not been in it. Hey when is Kill Bill Vol 3 coming out anyways? I guess we'd have to settle our Tarantino thirst with "Django Unchained"

Here is the movie trailer: 

Wreck it Ralph!

Arcade nostalgia has never looked better.

The trailer alone, garnered much buzz for Disney's latest 3D adventure. Seeing some of'the great video game villains of all time assembled in one room was just too good to be true. The hype was elevated to even greater heights given its ubiquitous presence at San Diego Comic Con. In the back of mind I kept thinking, "THEY'RE GONNA WRECK IT!"

Thankfully, the movie succeeds in creating a heartfelt tribute to the golden era of the 80's arcade, decorated here and there with familiar cameos that are both nostalgic and laugh out loud hilarious. The actual video game characters and their respective worlds don't play as big a role in the movie as I imagined. My wishful, nerdy brain hoped Ralph would be jumping through pipes in Mushroom Kingdom, riding horseback through Hyrule and blasting away at baddies alongside Mega Man and who knows who else. This didn't happen, and may have to do with the price of buying the rights to some of these iconic images. But the new world Disney Animation Studios created is rich with surprises, and rivals that of Monstropolis, Toy Story, and the Kingdom of Far and Far Away. 

Fix it Jerry Jr.

We all want to be the hero.

Wreck-It Ralph (voiced by the incomparable John C. Reilly) is the Donkey Kong to Fix-It Felix, Jr.'s Mario in a fictional 80's arcade game. The game itself is believable enough to have existed during the era. Ralph, along with other villains in various games throughout the ages, share the same plight of feeling under-appreciated by gamers and other citizens of the video game world.

The breaking point for Ralph was the 30th Anniversary for the "Fix-it Felix, Jr." arcade. To commemorate the event, Felix throws a party in the penthouse of the game's high-rise apartment complex, a party that Ralph wasn't invited to. (The DJ of this party offered another cameo I really wasn't expecting and left me in awe of this tribute to electronic art.) 

Bad guys theraphy.

What sets Ralph apart from all the other villains is that he is determined to actually do something about the unfortunate role of "Bad Guy" he was programmed to assume. He intends to jump to different arcades in order to become a hero in another game. This act of invading a game other than your own is mysteriously referred to as "Going Turbo" by the other inhabitants of the video game world. It's considered taboo, especially since it runs the risk of permanent death: dying outside your own game makes it impossible to regenerate.

After a series of unfortunate events, Ralph eventually crash lands into Sugar Rush, a cross between the worlds of Candy Land and Mario Kart. There he befriends the adorable Vanellope (voiced by the lovely Sarah Silverman), who like Ralph is seen as an outcast in her game. In her case, she is considered a freak due to her tendency to glitch out. To Vanellope, racing runs deep within her code, but the only thing stopping her is the candy land's ruler the Candy King, who is adamant on keeping her out of the race.

Those were the days.

Old school gaming.

Ralph's spontaneous hero's journey spells trouble for the rest of the video game world. Due to Ralph's disappearance, the "Fix-it Felix, Jr." game is in danger of being unplugged, leaving Felix with the hefty responsibility of retrieving his clumsy counterpart. Ralph's brief stint in a Halo-esque game called "Hero's Duty" is also a big nuisance to the foxy Sgt. Calhoun (Jane Lynch). She must now track down and exterminate a Cybug that Ralph mistakenly helped escape from the game. If the bug goes viral, it could destroy every game in Mr. Litwak's entire arcade for good.

The video game setting offers awesome moments of creativity for the Disney animators, from the way the characters are drawn and animated, to the way their lives are portrayed outside of their own game. The voice talent is also really impressive across the board. While the movie isn't the all-out Smash Brothers brawl many were expecting, the movie comes with loads of surprises that are sure to delight and entertain a wide audience, gamers and non-gamers alike.

How about a bukkake party Chun Li?

Q Bert!

The movie could not have come at a better time. People who grew up during the era of the arcade are now starting to have families of their own, and are very likely to laugh along with the children they bring to the theaters. This same video game generation also witnessed the Disney Renaissance of the early 90's: The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and the Lion King. With Wreck-It Ralph destined to be an instant classic, following the success of the equally impressive Tangled, we are in for a new Disney Renaissance for a whole new generation.

Note: Get there early enough for an excellent animated short, and stay to watch the credits roll if you haven't yet satisfied your nerdy gamer fix. 

Here is the awesome movie trailer and, happy new year dudes!!!!!! 

Street Fighter (the original arcade game)

Yes, Ryu looks a bit different.

Ever since December is thought to be the ultimate festivities month, I spent some time away from our humble blog, not because I was hiding like some of those ridiculous preppers out there who were looking forward for the end of the world(!),You know,  I just had too much business to take care of in my real boring life.

Checking the stats from my blog I can definitely tell, that I should continue to review porn parodies, but since December is family rated month I thought I could review a classic videogame instead. So enter Street Fighter (ストリートファイタ) a 1987 average arcade game developed by the now world famous Capcom gaming company. Street Fighter was the first competitive fighting game produced by the company and the inaugural game in the Street Fighter series. While it did not achieve the same worldwide popularity as its sequel Street Fighter II when it was first released, the original Street Fighter introduced some of the conventions made standard in later games, such as the six button controls and the use of command based special techniques.

Gameplay

The player competes in a series of one-on-one matches against a series of computer-controlled opponents or in a single match against another player, a groundbreaking gameplay idea in those days anyways.  Each match consists of three rounds in which the player must defeat an opponent in less than 30 seconds. If a match ends before a fighter is knocked out, then the fighter with the greater amount of energy left will be declared the round's winner. The player must win two rounds in order to defeat the opponent and proceed to the next battle. If the third round ends in a tie, then the computer-controlled opponent will win by default or both players will lose. During the single-player mode, the player can continue after losing and fight against the opponent they lost the match to. Likewise, a second player can interrupt a single-player match and challenge the first player to a new match.

Ryu dyed his hair red in the first instalment of the SF saga.

Unique  six button pad

In the deluxe version of the arcade game, the player's controls consist of a standard eight-way joystick, and two large, unique mechatronic pads for punches and kicks that returned an analog value depending on how hard the player actuated the control. An alternate version was released that replaces the two punching pads with an array of six attack buttons, three punch buttons and three kick buttons of different speed and strength (Light, Medium and Heavy), another groundbreaking idea back then. 

Special secret moves

The player uses the joystick to move towards or away from an opponent, as well to jump, crouch and defend against an opponent's attacks. By using the attack buttons/pads in combination with the joystick, the player can perform a variety of attacks from a standing, jumping or crouching positions. There's also three special techniques which can only be performed by inputting a specific series of joystick and button inputs. These techniques are the once called "Psycho Fire" (Universally known today as the 波動拳 Hadōken, "Surge Fist"), the "Dragon Punch" (昇龍拳 Shoryūken, "Rising Dragon Fist") and the "Hurricane Kick" (竜巻旋風脚 Tatsumaki Senpū Kyaku, "Tornado Whirlwind Kick"). Unlike the subsequent Street Fighter sequels and other later fighting games, the specific commands for these special moves are not given in the arcade game's instruction card, which instead encouraged the player to discover these techniques on their own.

The fireball originally known as "Psycho Fire"

Gallery of heroes & rogues

The first player takes control of a Japanese martial artist named Ryu, who competes in an international martial arts tournament to prove his strength. The second player takes control of Ryu's former training partner and rival Ken, who challenges Ryu in the game's 2-player matches. Normally the player takes control of Ryu in the single-player mode, however, if the player controlling Ken defeats Ryu in a 2-player match, then the winning player will play the remainder of the game as Ken. The difference between the two characters are aesthetic, as both of them have the same basic moves and special techniques. At this point, you didn't have the chance of choosing your character freely, so it will take a little longer for the Street Fighter franchise to allow you to play with different characters.

The single-player mode consists of a series of battles against ten opponents from five different nations. At the beginning of the game, the player can choose the country where their first match will take place: the available choices are Japan or the US, as well as China or England (depending on the game's configuration). The player will then proceed to fight against two fighters from the chosen country before proceeding to the next country. In addition to the regular battles, there also two types of bonus games which player can play for additional points: a brick-breaking bonus game and a table breaking bonus game. After defeating the initial eight characters, the player will travel to Thailand to fight against the final two opponents.

Enter Geki the ninja assasin.

The first eight computer-controlled opponents are: from Japan, Retsu, an expelled Shorinji Kempo instructor and Geki, a claw-wielding descendant of a ninja; from the United States, Joe, an underground full-contact karate champion and Mike, a former heavyweight boxer who once killed an opponent in the ring; from China, Lee, an expert in Chinese boxing and Gen, an elderly professional killer who has developed his own assassination art; and from England, Birdie, a tall bouncer who uses a combination of wrestling and boxing techniques and Eagle, a well-dressed bodyguard of a wealthy family who uses Kali sticks. After the first eight challengers are defeated, the player is taken to Thailand for the final two adversaries: Adon, a deadly Muay Thai master, and his mentor Sagat, the reputed "Emperor of Muay Thai" and the game's final opponent.

In case you are wondering what is Street Fighter's story about, I would simply say it is merely about a martial arts tournament where every character aims to become the number one fighter worldwide and that's it. There are neither background stories for each character, nor vendetta style stories for the two playable characters (Ryu & Ken) I guess back then the story mode concept wasn't even a concept in arcade gaming or developers didn't care about that either.

Bonus game!

Development

Street Fighter was produced and directed by Takashi Nishiyama (who is credited as "Piston Takashi" in the game) and planned by Hiroshi Matsumoto (credited as "Finish Hiroshi"), who both previously worked on the overhead beat 'em up Avengers. The two men would leave Capcom after the production of the game and were employed by SNK, developing most of their fighting game series (including Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting). The duo would later work for Dimps and work on Street Fighter IV with Capcom. Keiji Inafune, best known for his artwork in Capcom's Mega Man franchise, got his start at the company by designing and illustrating the character portraits in Street Fighter. Nishiyama drew several inspirations for developing the original gameplay of Street Fighter from martial art styles he was practicing at the time.

Ryu V/S Ken

Connoisseur gameplay experience

Playing Street Fighter today would be a certified mess or at least some pain in the arse. However, if you happen to be an old school connoisseur like yours truly, you can definitely have fun with this 80's arcade fighting game. I can still remember the first time I got my hands into it at one of the many arcade centers I used to go in the 80's. The game wasn't an instant hit, I didn't see crowded rows of people eagerly waiting for their chance to play Street Fighter. In fact, I think it was an average game that most of the people from those days didn't quite well understand, I mean the game was hard, you had a lot of difficulties trying to get the special moves, while the CPU enemy didn't seem to have trouble at all smashing you with their own special moves. Even now, if you get to play it through the MAME 32 emulator you'll see how difficult it is to get the character to do what you actually want him to do in no time, so I guess that's why nobody really became an instant fan of the game, you know, with a limited coins budget you gotta make sure you can spend more than 10 minutes in front of the arcade machine. 

Sagat, the final boss.

 
After my not so entertaining experience playing it, the game was replaced and nobody got the chance to play it ever. Of course, that is until Street Fighter II, a game that set the standard bar of gaming way high above the clouds, in fact the original Street Fighter game became a lot more popular after everyone was into Street Fighter II.

And that's it for today fellas! hope you have a wonderful christmas dinner! next time we'll meet again to review one of the most hilarious porn parodies of them all: Sex Fighter 2!.

Stay tuned and enjoy this Street Fighter gameplay video for those were the days sake!

 

Superman VS Spiderman XXX, a Porn Parody

Just like the original 70's comic book cover.

Adult film parodies have become so commonplace these days, that they even have their own awards with the X-Rated Critics Organization (a highly educated elite of masturbators). You can name practically any TV show or movie and there’s a porn parody for it, and there is no man in the adult industry who does them with more (figurative and literal) passion and attention to detail than our friend Axel Braun, winner of the 2012 XRCO Best Director-Parody award and 2012 AVN Awards Director of the Year, both for Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody.

The original comic book which inspired the parody.

Superman knows he can beat the shit out of Spidey.

Superman VS Spiderman XXX, a Porn Parody brings us a fresh new adventure in the world of porn superheroes. Okay, not really. Porn director Axel Braun (not his real name, I’m guessing), who has apparently been making a killing putting out these superhero porn parodies in the last few years is the guy behind the camera in this DC & Marvel comics crossover. The guy’s so big now that his porn movies actually carry his name in the title. In any case, if you ever wanted to see the Last Son of Krypton battle the Arachnid Knight, well, this is your movie. Plus, if you’re into people having sex, this is your movie, too. And if you happen to be into both of those things, well hell, then this will really be your movie.

Lois Lane finds her way to destroy Lex Luthor.

Yes Luthor cum inside me!

The classic 1976 superhero crossover gets the XXX spoof treatment, courtesy of the adult powerhouse Vivid Entertainment. When Doc Ock and Lex Luthor join forces to defeat their nemesis, Spidey and the Man of Steel meet for the first time and must work together to foil the evil duo’s nefarious plans for world domination. Ryan Driller and Xander Corvus reprise their award-winning roles, and headline an all-star cast that includes Alexis Texas, Andy San Dimas, Capri Anderson, Kagney Linn Karter, Jenna Presley as Spider-Woman and an astounding Jazy Berlin as Black Cat. With lavish production values, spectacular VFX, and Braun’s legendary attention to detail, this movie may be one of the higlights of the porn industry in 2012. However, that doesn't mean the movie is entertaining. The problem with porn movies is that basically, they're porn movies. The more porn film makers try to add a consistent plot to their collection of sex scenes, the more they seem to fail. The average porn fan doesn't care for plot at all as long as the performers "look" convincing in their depraved roles. I for one, don't consider myself as an avid fan of porn movies. In fact I think I'm just an ocassional visitor in the world of porn, unless it is 70's sexploitation, that's my thing!

Supergirl saves the day!

Lesbian Super hero 69.

Anyways, I'm just saying, if you're going to make a parody about characters that do have a consistent storyline you should at least try to imitate some of that genuine comic book magic. I guess I just grown tired of XXX parodies as they all have performers dressed up as if they were the real thing, but they never get to manage to display acting talent, so they just "look like" the real thing but in no way they portray some of the persona of the characters being spoofed. If I had to choose a fair performance XXX parody I would settle for Spiderman XXX & The Avengers XXX, today's movie, I would definitely skip it unless I've never seen a XXX parody before.

Calm down ladies! there's plenty of Superman for you.

Hero's gals can be friends too!

Overall, Superman VS Spiderman XXX has interesting sex scenes, the actresses are very very hot and don't look like 80 years old sluts. In fact that's the highlight, the actresses! they have the looks of the comic book femme fatales, and that is a plus in an industry where actresses are made in the Red Hot Chili Peppers Californication style (pay your surgeon very well, to break the spell of aging ♪♫)

Your friendly neighbour Spiderman.

Spiderwoman teams up at last!

Probably I will not review porn parodies for quite some time, although this DC Marvel crossover porn parody has been just released this month as the "event of the year" I hardly think sales will say so, cause porn collectors download their films, there are only a few of them who buy the original DVD/BLu Ray for their personal video library, so definitely I will take a very long vacation from reviewing these kind of movies that add nothing new to the world of the porn industry. Just keep on uploading free porn to the internet you porn makers because no one will spend limited edition bucks for such mediocre products. 

Here's the movie trailer:

Dear God No!!!

Bikers are back!

Dear God No! takes place over 24 hours with the nastiest biker gang in cinematic history. We begin with their breakfast at a drive-in (clever, huh?) which consists of mushrooms, cocaine, beer, pot and nun necrophilia. Yep, it's that kind of movie. We follow these scumbags on an adventure that just turns out to be one really bad day for them. Nothing is going right. Strip club shoot em' ups, cops, narcs, mad science, crazy women and Bigfoot! These Georgia boys pride themselves in being the most offensive killers in Dixie and pretty much stay true to their nature despite the supernatural shenanigans thrown their way.

Hell yeah!

The best way to describe this minor masterpiece is imagine if Herschell Gordon Lewis, Russ Meyer and John Waters somehow tricked Roger Corman into bank rolling a collaborative picture. Than said picture was deemed so gory, nasty and offensive that it sat on a shelf collecting dust for 40 years. If the mentioned directors were also rednecks, that would be this film.

Intestines get yanked out, heads constantly lobbed off, etc. It's done with real effects that aren't the best but they aren't cheesy either. They fit the time period of this film. There are some great laugh out loud moments. Most are supplied by the absurdity of the building conflicts. Actor Paul McComiskey is a real stand out as a lecherous old scientist having the worst day of his life. His interactions with the bikers are priceless and provide some of the most memorable lines in the film. 

Killer sluts!

But lead actor Jett Bryant steals this show. He is the essence of cool and you end up rooting for this killer because he is so damn scary cool. He twirls a gun like the greatest western antiheroes from Italy, slaps people around like Dirty Harry and delivers one liners like James Bond. There really isn't anyone other than Bigfoot to identify with because everyone in this thing is evil so I latched on to him. 

That's what I'm talking about.

The Southern locations and authentic score really add some great tension. If you forgot about Deliverance, Dear God No! is sure to remind you that below the Mason Dixon line life is cheap. This movie has an enormous body count. Both with clothes and without. It's packed full of nudity old school grindhouse style. This does it right. Exploitation shouldn't be glossy and stylized. It should ooze creepy and be loads of fun. Dear God No! is a welcome break from the millions of ghost or serial killer torture films flooding cable and DVD shelves. Young fanboys raised on Resident Evil won't get it. If your over 30 than this is the one you have been waiting for since Evil Dead 2. When it comes to the new crop of faux grindhouse (Death Proof, Planet Terror, Hobo With A Shotgun, etc.) this very original film sets the bar high. Recommended. 

Boobs with guns!

Boobs!

Why did it take this long for someone to make a good grindhouse movie? Every single one that has been released over the last couple of years suffers from the same problems of being way to slick to be an accurate representation of grindhouse. DEAR GOD NO! proves you don't need a big budget, cgi, name actors and a giant technical crew to make a modern classic grindhouse film. You just need an understanding of why people cherish grindhouse cinema. I'm happy to report every review on IMDb is accurate. This is the love letter to grindhouse I thought Tarrantino and Rodriquez could deliver but didn't. If DEAR GOD NO! had come out before their GRINDHOUSE double feature we may of been looking at a full blown revival instead of the periodic grindhouse-esque films we get like Machete & HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. I can not stress enough how authentic and original this film is. Instead of just lifting complete plots it takes hundreds of previous elements and creates something refreshingly new. 

Fire!

Kill'em good Nixon.

Yes, they will murder & rape pregnant gals!

This is not a glossy, over-stylized grindhouse homage like "Hobo With A Shotgun", "Machete", or "Planet Terror". This is the closest thing to an actual Grindhouse film made in this century... Though perhaps it is a little more extreme.

It is shot on 16mm film, there are 31 breasts, all of the effects are practical (i.e. no CGI), and it is fun as hell.

This flick definitely isn't for everybody (there is some extreme stuff in here), but for fans of authentic grindhouse features, bigfoot, bikers, sexploitation, gore, and drug movies; "Dear God No!" is the way to go. 

Here's the amazing movie trailer:

Father's Day

Awesome vintage looking poster!

In all my years of a horror fanatic and throughout the experience of writing several hundreds of film reviews, I am not usually blown away by 21st century film, but believe you me, 2011's Troma studios "Father's Day" is truly the most demented, twisted, sickest and derailed genre outing that I ever watched. And I'm glad that I got my hands in the home release limited edition of the film, featuring 4 discs of pure crazy awesomeness!. The limited edition feature s the 2 DVD standard edition of the film, the high definition Blu-Ray disc and the amazing original motion picture soundtrack all packed in an astonoshing vintage looking case! 

If you are familiar with Troma studios, you know you will be exposed to a massive amount of gore, perversity, craziness and smut! This movie truly embodied the absolute most fun you can experience if these kinds of films are your cup of tea. Written and directed by a collective of no less than six creative minds – who are undoubtedly all mentally ill beyond repair – and produced by the legendary infamous Troma Studios, "Father's Day" is best described as a sort of homage/throwback to gritty & low-budgeted Grindhouse cinema from the 70's and early 80's, but I assure you that even throughout that entirely lunatic era, there was never a film so extreme as this one. 

Yeah! Nude women & chainsaws!

Shake that ass!

Where and how to begin with describing this unique piece of trash? With the plot, perhaps? It's practically impossible, but I'll give it a shot anyways. The pauperized ghetto streets are terrorized by the psychopath Chris Fuchman; an anal rapist and serial killer targeting distinguished middle class fathers. One of the victims' sons (a gay teenage prostitute) teams up with an ambitious young priest, but they quickly realize they'll need the help of the eye-patch wearing warrior Ahab. He hunted down Fuchman once before, but now retired to the Canadian forests in order to devote his life to making maple syrup. I kid you not. Ahab can be convinced to fight, however, as this grants him the opportunity to restore his relationship with his estranged go-go dancing sister Chelsea. Together, this crazy wild bunch tracks down Fuchman, but their work isn't even finished when they kill him, as his soul and even his evil sperm carry forward the killing spree. Mind you that this short description doesn't give you one quarter of insight about everything that's going on in "Father's Day". 

The Good Guys!

Nice couple, aren't they?

The plot is much more convoluted and insane than this, complete with dead-end sub plots, a massive load of flamboyant supportive characters, depraved undertones and a finale that left a complete theater full of horror freaks startled! I don't suppose I have to emphasize this, but "Father's Day" should most definitely be avoided by all easily offended, prudish, squeamish and politically correct viewers. The film is a smörgåsbord of blood and intestines, cut off body parts, ripped out organs, bludgeoned faces and – oh yes – even cut open/bitten off penises and crushed fetuses. The acting performances are all extremely over-the-top (like they ought to be) and the movie is supported by a penetrating soundtrack, raw & primitive cinematography and awesomely animated opening credits. Particularly the depiction of heaven and hell near the climax are deliciously deranged. And, as some sort of extra reward for the fans, there's a brilliant cameo appearance by Troma's smut-deity Lloyd Kaufman in a genuinely apt role. 

Boss Hog, the thin years.

They call him one eye.. ahemmm I mean Ahab!

Lloyd Kaufman and Jeremy Gillespie, one of the director's collective Astron-6, were present in Brussels at the festival to introduce their film and provided some interesting background production info. The crazed out collective initially fabricated a fake trailer for "Father's Day" and sent it to the Troma headquarters. To their own surprise, Troma contacted them back and offered them the relatively low (at least to make a full-feature film) sum of $10.000. Gillespie elaborated that it's incredibly difficult to make a full movie out of a fake trailer that actually even started as a little joke. Most of the downright absurd and unfathomable situations and plot twists in the film are a direct consequence of the fact that Astron-6 stuffed nonsensical ideas into their trailer, unaware they later had to bring coherence between it all. But the result is there. "Father's Day" is destined to become a Troma cult favorite for sure.

Here's the uncensored film trailer:

Troma's FATHER'S DAY  Uncut Trailer por TromaTeamVideo

El Mirón y la Exhibicionista

A badly improvised DVD cover.

I am a fan of the controversial cinematographer Jess Franco, so my point of view is not going to be shared by many readers, which is OK with me: this is a free world! As a matter of fact, I must confess that I watch every Franco's movie I can get my hands on and, honestly, I find always something intriguing and interesting in his work.  

Today's entry will take us deep into the world of 1986's "El Mirón y la Exhibicionista", a straight forwarded hard core porn movie that offers nothing but sex. Perhaps, compared to the unlimited amount of porn you can get from the internet, you may find this Jess Franco film a horrible experiment in porn, as its actors & actresses are not in their best sunday dress. Lina Romay is not as in shape as she used to be and neither are the rest of the cast. Definitely Jess Franco's intentions were not to turn you on to get a good fap/schlock out of his movie. There is a darker point of view in here. Franco wants us to see regular people getting dirty, and portraying the ugliness and brutality of depraved sex.

The opening scene.

Hey! how rude of you to be looking at my nude wet slutty body!

The plot is very simple: in what appears to be a resort/hotel room, a good-looking woman (Lina Romay, featuring all the looks the 80's could deliver), is reading magazines and listening to music from a tape-deck. She is obviously bored but, after a while, she realizes (what an eye...) that a man is watching her from the window of a conveniently placed building in front of her room. It appears that he has binoculars, which qualifies him immediately as a "skilled Peeping-Tom". She doesn't let the opportunity skip by and starts staging a quite titillating and very arousing show in total benefit of this uninvited, but evidently quite welcome, guest. After that brief opening 101 plot explanation lesson, the film turns into varied sex sequences where Lina Romay's character takes the lead. She knows she's got a peeping Tom in front of her window so she finds that very motivating to continue her dirty sexual escapades which feature masturbation, lesbian action, penetration, fellatio, cumshots, cunni lingus and dirty dancing.

Gee! I can't find my clit in this big bush o'mine!

Haven't you ever thought of using a razor Lina?

I got a find neighbour.

The film looks & feels as another average porn movie but, believe you me, Jess Franco doesn't want you to masturbate with his flick, instead he wants to create and show the compelling and escalating atmosphere of tension and complicity, which is building up, as time goes by, between "watcher" and "watched". Lina gets "busy" with her body and soul and you can tell she likes what she does, but her eyes constantly run at the window, looking to be assured that "He" is still there and that he likes what he sees. Believe it or not, her facial language is (particularly under these peculiar circumstances) quite expressive and convincing. There is a mounting tension between the two which, in spite of being at least a couple of hundred yards away from each other and linked only by sight and some other person body, which is the "occasional-transfer", have never been so close and this, till the...inevitable conclusion. 

The dialogue is basically non existent. However at one point Lina says (in her native Spanish) to her occasional and cooperating sex friend: "you may think I'm a maniac but...I love this game!".  

Yeah! Diddle her skiddle!

You sure know how to find my clit in the wild woods of my bush.

Overall, "El Mirón y la Exhibicionista" May look like a porn film, and in fact, it is a porn movie but with a strong direction focused on the topic of being watched, and getting turned on by it. The film is presented mostly in dark colors, that I think, resemble the mood of the depraved characters. The sex scenes are accompanied with pleasant jazzy big band music and the babes acting haven't certainly discovered yet the use of a razor, and don't forget the guilt mood that follows the whole film from start to end. Of course, Jess Franco has directed films that are way better than this simple peeping tom fantasy but still this isn't as bad as it looks.

Anyways, next entries will be about "Father's Day" & "Dear God No" the latest gems in Troma's world of exploitation.

Lina just loves sucking cocks dry!

Lina's money shot!

Here a " video highlight" of the film: