Nov 13, 2012

Dear God No!!!

Bikers are back!
Dear God No! takes place over 24 hours with the nastiest biker gang in cinematic history. We begin with their breakfast at a drive-in (clever, huh?) which consists of mushrooms, cocaine, beer, pot and nun necrophilia. Yep, it's that kind of movie. We follow these scumbags on an adventure that just turns out to be one really bad day for them. Nothing is going right. Strip club shoot em' ups, cops, narcs, mad science, crazy women and Bigfoot! These Georgia boys pride themselves in being the most offensive killers in Dixie and pretty much stay true to their nature despite the supernatural shenanigans thrown their way.

Hell yeah!
The best way to describe this minor masterpiece is imagine if Herschell Gordon Lewis, Russ Meyer and John Waters somehow tricked Roger Corman into bank rolling a collaborative picture. Than said picture was deemed so gory, nasty and offensive that it sat on a shelf collecting dust for 40 years. If the mentioned directors were also rednecks, that would be this film.

Intestines get yanked out, heads constantly lobbed off, etc. It's done with real effects that aren't the best but they aren't cheesy either. They fit the time period of this film. There are some great laugh out loud moments. Most are supplied by the absurdity of the building conflicts. Actor Paul McComiskey is a real stand out as a lecherous old scientist having the worst day of his life. His interactions with the bikers are priceless and provide some of the most memorable lines in the film. 

Killer sluts!
But lead actor Jett Bryant steals this show. He is the essence of cool and you end up rooting for this killer because he is so damn scary cool. He twirls a gun like the greatest western antiheroes from Italy, slaps people around like Dirty Harry and delivers one liners like James Bond. There really isn't anyone other than Bigfoot to identify with because everyone in this thing is evil so I latched on to him. 

That's what I'm talking about.
The Southern locations and authentic score really add some great tension. If you forgot about Deliverance, Dear God No! is sure to remind you that below the Mason Dixon line life is cheap. This movie has an enormous body count. Both with clothes and without. It's packed full of nudity old school grindhouse style. This does it right. Exploitation shouldn't be glossy and stylized. It should ooze creepy and be loads of fun. Dear God No! is a welcome break from the millions of ghost or serial killer torture films flooding cable and DVD shelves. Young fanboys raised on Resident Evil won't get it. If your over 30 than this is the one you have been waiting for since Evil Dead 2. When it comes to the new crop of faux grindhouse (Death Proof, Planet Terror, Hobo With A Shotgun, etc.) this very original film sets the bar high. Recommended. 

Boobs with guns!
Boobs!
Why did it take this long for someone to make a good grindhouse movie? Every single one that has been released over the last couple of years suffers from the same problems of being way to slick to be an accurate representation of grindhouse. DEAR GOD NO! proves you don't need a big budget, cgi, name actors and a giant technical crew to make a modern classic grindhouse film. You just need an understanding of why people cherish grindhouse cinema. I'm happy to report every review on IMDb is accurate. This is the love letter to grindhouse I thought Tarrantino and Rodriquez could deliver but didn't. If DEAR GOD NO! had come out before their GRINDHOUSE double feature we may of been looking at a full blown revival instead of the periodic grindhouse-esque films we get like Machete & HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. I can not stress enough how authentic and original this film is. Instead of just lifting complete plots it takes hundreds of previous elements and creates something refreshingly new. 

Fire!

Kill'em good Nixon.
Yes, they will murder & rape pregnant gals!










This is not a glossy, over-stylized grindhouse homage like "Hobo With A Shotgun", "Machete", or "Planet Terror". This is the closest thing to an actual Grindhouse film made in this century... Though perhaps it is a little more extreme.

It is shot on 16mm film, there are 31 breasts, all of the effects are practical (i.e. no CGI), and it is fun as hell.

This flick definitely isn't for everybody (there is some extreme stuff in here), but for fans of authentic grindhouse features, bigfoot, bikers, sexploitation, gore, and drug movies; "Dear God No!" is the way to go. 

Here's the amazing movie trailer:



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