After reviewing some quite new films it was about time we got a little interested in our actual business. Today's entry will take us back in time as far as 1979. The location, italy, the starlet, Gloria Guida, the thrill? "La Liceale, Il Diavolo, e L'acquasanta" (The schoolgirl, the devil & the wimp)
Loredana's pussy targets innocent teacher.
Despite the title and the presence of gorgeous italian bombshell Gloria Guida and Lino Banfi, this
has nothing to do with the "Liceale" sex comedies where Guida and Banfi
play ridiculously overage high school students. This is actually a sex
comedy anthology, which with it's religious overtones, suggests the
"Decameron" films of the early 70's, but it is set in modern times and
is actually closer to lamer, more contemporary comic anthologies like
"Sex with a Smile" and "Tigers in Lipstick". However, this is a film not meant to be taken seriously as it proposes several sequences filled with gags and situations that could have only been possible in a sexploitation and/or porn film.
Loredana's bush.
So, now let's get down to business. La Liceale, is about Loredana (Gloria Guida) a high school student, with a unique talent for teasing men of all ages, but with the strong conviction of being a virgin until the right man comes knocking into her door (yes, a contradiction, but who fucking cares anyways?) in the opening sequence Loredana takes a shower (yes full frontal nudity) displaying her greatest assets. After that, we find out she lives with her mother, who happens to be divorced and looking for the right man (she's definitely more like a harlot as we see her with different wealthy men as the film goes by) Anyways, Loredana has a pack of friends in school and whenever they're evaluated by their teachers, she "helps them" by spreading her legs and showing her see through underwear making teachers lose interest in the evaluation. Also, she likes being painted nude but just that, being painted, no sex. So, as the story goes by, there is a new kid in town that comes from the U.S.A. and of course, Loredana wants for herself. So in day one she spreads a little here and there to catch his attention. Then, she rides with him on his motorbike and spreads a little more to get the man horny. Then they get naked fap & schlock and all of sudden she remembers she's not a slut (WTF) and decides to go home.
Loredana likes riding strangers.
Loredana is looking for real love, but her divorced parents seemed to have cause some brain damage on her. On the one hand her dad is a succesful bussiness man who likes being a manwhore. On the other hand her mother is concerned about her daughter growing up but seems to be more interested into getting a new replacement to her former husband. However, she is careful enough with her random men to avoid little Loredana a gross mum + unknown dude sex scene. However, Loredana is quite aware of her mother's business.
Loredana's friends are also in the mood for a good shag.
La Liceale doesn't offer us an original take on youth sex. Instead it exploits the clichéd story of a teenager who seems to be a confused nymphomaniac with no idea about real love. Loredana finds it quite easy to fall in love because once she's done with the new classmate she sets her pussy to attack the substitute teacher (who happens to be smarter than her, and decides not to get into her pants) Unfortunately, as Loredana sees no results she lies to her boyfriend telling him her teacher wanted to rape her. Evidently, boyfriend gets mad enough as to go looking for the perv teacher with his gang of bikers finding himself a big surprise as the teacher results into a karate master who kicks the shit out of the biker gang.
Hey! swallowing your cumload doesn't mean I'm not a virgin!
"Doctor my twat"
Later, Loredana meets a doctor through her father, and of course she forgets about her boyfriend & teacher and gets ready to fuck the doctor hard. As soon as the doctor is done screwing her, he decides to leave town and Loredana wants to go with him, and nope! the doc leaves her alone with a goodbye letter telling her she was a sweet fuck but he's not into her anymore. So yeah, the film describes a clichéd teen bombshell who doesn't know what real love means, and in the meantime of such discovery, she likes teasing men and has no problem showing her pubes everywhere to random people.
I'll find true love fucking random people, I'm sure.
I guess fucking random people can make me a living after all.
By the end of the film the direction of it changes from softcore comedy to softcore serious wannabe mood. I mean, almost the entire film displays Loredana as a cock craving teen slut and once we're reaching its climax, the film maker tries too hard to teach us a lesson about what love & commitment really are. Besides, seeing Loredana trying to recover any of her former bed partners seems definitely desperate and makes no sense, as her bombshell qualities will most certainly get her any man she wants.
I'll go back to school to tease more men!
See you around random fuck!
Overall, the movie is very entertaining if you skip the above mentioned issues. Besides it is a sexploitation flick where script is not really relevant and believe you me, Gloria Guida does have what it takes to be a sexploitation film starlet.
Quentin Tarantino's latest opus, a Western set two years
before the Civil War, concerns a former slave named Django (Jamie
Foxx). He is freed by bounty hunter Dr. King Shultz (Christoph Waltz)
in order to help him with a bounty. Quite quickly, Shultz takes Django
under his wing and trains him as his partner. But he made him a
promise: that he would rescue his wife from a plantation owned by the
ruthless Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio). And rescuing her is not
going to be all that easy.
Dr. King Schultz, dentist and bountyhunter.
What pains me the most about Django Unchained, as a die-hard Tarantino
fan, is just how sloppy it all seems. I enjoyed every minute of it, but
I could never shake the feeling of how messy and thrown together it all
feels. Portions of the film feel episodic (the search for the Brittle
Brothers, mentioned heavily in the trailers, begins and ends
practically within minutes), and some scenes just seem to play out just
for the fun of it. Another scene from the trailers involving a lynch
mob with bags covering their faces seems added for comedic purposes,
and has no real point of actually existing. More than any of his films
before it, Django feels like Tarantino simply making a movie for sheer
pleasure and with no outside motivations or controllers.
BFF.
The film threatens to go totally off the rails at any given moment, and
lacks any real sense of direction or focus. It may sound ridiculous,
but the loss of editor Sally Menke confirms a sneaking suspicion I
always had about Tarantino – he needed a steady right hand to help
encourage him as to what was needed and what was not. I do not want to
criticize Django's editor Fred Raskin, but it is obvious he is no Menke
and that works against the film heavily. It lacks the polish we have
come to expect, and is practically stripped of the glossy/cool texture
so prevalent in Tarantino's work up until now.
Django's learnings.
But then maybe that was his intention all along, and perhaps Tarantino
is airing out his frustrations with life and film in general. Django is
deliberately shot on film (or at least from the print I saw), and looks
very gritty and messy at all times. It is significantly more brutally
violent than anything he has worked on before (the borderline
cartoonish Kill Bill included), and has a very go for broke attitude
about itself. The film seems to revel in how brilliantly it can
splatter all the blood and gore (done through the use of squibs and no
digital!), and how uncomfortably numbing it can make the violence. I
know he does not care what people think of his films, but this movie
especially seems like an emphatically raised middle finger to the
establishment. And for all of my complaints about how messy it all
feels, I was never once bored or felt like the movie was dragging
itself out. The staggering 165-minute running time shockingly flies by
faster than you might ever imagine.
Racist piece of shit.
Acting wise, Tarantino stacks the deck with a number of recognizable
character actors young and old for roles that vary in size. Most have
very few lines, if any at all, and seem to just stand by, just as
content as the audience is to watch the action unfold. It is a little
off-putting, especially with how important some of these characters are
initially made out to be. Washington as Broomhilda von Shaft (one of
the most subtle references he's ever dropped) does well as the helpless
victim and frequent dreamlike object – but she never really gets to
show off any of her acting prowess outside of her facial reactions.
They are increasingly effective, especially during horrific flashback
scenes. But her work here feels ridiculously stunted in comparison to
the other leads. Samuel L. Jackson, much like Tarantino himself, seems
to just be having fun in his role as Candie's adviser Stephen. He plays
on every ridiculous stereotype he ever has been associated with and
then amps it up to a near ludicrous state. He is frequently hilarious,
but the role seems to border on parody more than anything else.
the ultimate scene: the original Django meets his offspring.
Surprisingly, Foxx takes a very long time settling into the leading
role. It may just be the character, but it is quite clear from the on-
set that he is not very comfortable in Django's shoes, and leads
credence to why Will Smith, amongst so many others, dropped out of the
picture so quickly. But once he finds his footing, he does a fantastic
job walking the thin line between empathetic and sadistic. It is not an
easy character to play, but Foxx makes it his own, bringing a sense of
style and grace that are virtually absent from the rest of the film.
And of course, he gets all the best lines.
Slave trade was even tougher.
Waltz and DiCaprio are the clear standouts however, nailing every
nuance of their sadly underwritten characters. While Waltz plays the
straight man, DiCaprio is delightfully unhinged and vicious. Both are
playing directly against type, yet are strangely comfortable in the
roles. Watching them act circles around the rest of the cast, Foxx
included, is the true highlight of the film. I just wish they were both
given additional emphasis and more to do.
Stephen is the funniest character of the flick.
For all of its numerous faults, I had a blast watching Django
Unchained. It is hilarious, it is a lot of fun, and is wildly
enjoyable. I genuinely think it could have been a lot better if there
was more focus and direction, but this is very clearly a picture
Tarantino wanted to make on his own terms. And for that, I applaud him
for the effort. It is not his best work, but certainly not his worst.
The first nude scene ever in a Tarantino movie is here.
Beat around the bush.
Overall, an entertaining film that could have used some help while editing so that it wasn't unnecesarily a far too long movie with scenes that could have easily been cut to make the story go faster and mind only on the important issues strictly related to the script's main story.
