Shaolin Soccer (Siu lam juk kau)

Soccer superstars!

Shaolin is a renowned martial arts temple in China, as well as a philosophy of body and mind. Think combining it with soccer is an oxymoron? Not here. Not by a long shot.

Fung a.k.a. Golden Leg (Ng Man Tat) was a champion player once. Then he missed a penalty kick in a big game. In the ensuing riot, the crowd broke his leg and his career was over.

Fast forward twenty years. Fung is now a lowly equipment manager for Hung, who is coach of Team Evil. Fung's life is going nowhere. That is, until he meets Sing (Stephen Chow), a guy who can't even scrape together 60¢ to buy a couple of sweet steamy buns. But he has the physical prowess of a dragon and a heart pure as jade. He is known as Mighty Steel Leg.

Sing befriends Mui (Vicki Zhao), who works at the bakery. Despite the severe skin damage on her face, he tells her she's beautiful. With her hands and the filmmaker's eyes, even the everyday task of making sweet steamy buns becomes a work of art. There is a joke scene that follows after Sing "sings" to Mui about how wonderfuly talented she is, but it was cut by Miramax in the western version. Now that I've finally got my hands with a copy of the original Chinese uncut edition of the movie  I can tell you we're not missing much since it is just a dancing scene that does not add anything significant to the plot so Miramax's decision was correct (unless you are fully capable of understanding Chinese jokes, you won't miss it, trust me!)

Sing & Fung are about to make the deal of their lives!

They make look & live like losers but they're shaolin masters.

Then Fung, along with Sing and his older brother, Iron Head (Wong Kai Yue), set about the daunting task of cajoling Sing's former classmates into forming a soccer team. The national tournament is coming up soon and first prize is a million dollars.

But the road they must travel first is as long as it is rocky. Like an ancient Chinese proverb says, it is not wise to cross a chasm in two leaps. Following some dismal practice sessions, Fung arranges a match against a group of local thugs. After being decimated by them early on, both physically and in the score, Fung's guys apply discipline, use shaolin and learn to work as a team. When the game is over, their opponents are so impressed, they agree to join them.

Then the time for the tournament arrives. Sing's friendship with Mui has deepened, though she had hoped it would be something more. By this time, she has transformed herself both physically and mentally into the beautiful young woman Sing always knew she was.

Hung laughs out loud when Fung's team enters the tournament. But much to his surprise and consternation, the team wins their early matches handily. However, in the semi-final match against the all-female Team Dragon, the time for fun and games has ended and they realize they're facing players who are their equals in both ability and desire. The match is a close one, but Fung's team prevails.

The night before the final match, Sing visits the bakery to give Mui a ticket to it, but discovers she no longer works there, for a very compelling reason. But he hasn't seen the last of his friend, who has slowly learned to respect herself as much as does Sing.

Shaolin brothers, Shaolin masters.

The great Shaolin wall of defense.

The setting for the final game is auspicious-Fung's team is no longer playing before a stadium empty except for the cleaning crew, but for one packed with tens of thousands of fans. The performances of Shi Zi Yun and Cao Hua as Team Evil's center and goalkeeper are noteworthy. The former's shots are as forceful and inventive as Sing's; nothing phases the latter-he doesn't blink, he's totally unconcerned and getting the ball past him is next to impossible.

So, do our heroes surmount the staggering odds and win the tournament? I'm not going to tell you, not only because that's the one rule I have in writing reviews, but because it doesn't matter. This film isn't about winning or losing. It's about the game. And the love of it. And the heart that goes into playing it at this level.

This film has an intenseness to it that can't be overlooked or ignored or forgotten. Kind of like playing Rush CDs over and over with the bass turned up to ten. I honestly lost count of the times I said "Oh my God" at the crispness of the cinematography as well as the special effects. Some may consider them overbearing, gratuitous or even unnecessary-and Sir Isaac Newton might object to the laws of physics being broken-but not me. Call it poetic licence. Or just call it shaolin.

Yes, I'm the bad motherfucker.

Evil!

Is this an action/adventure film or a romantic comedy? It's both. Despite its alternate title, Kung-Fu Soccer, I don't really consider this a kung fu movie; it transcends that genre. Though they number in the hundreds, the digital special effects are not the star of this film. Neither is Chow or Zhao. Shaolin is. And shaolin not only rules, it rocks. Is this film a fantasy? Sure it is, pure and simple. Though sometimes fantasy can not only entertain, but inspire the most awesome of realities.

Was this movie based on the Captain Tsubasa soccer animé? I have no idea but, I'm pretty sure it was inspired by it up to some point.

The only real complaint I have with this film is that I wish it had been longer, e.g., in the interactions between Sing and Mui and in the semi-final tournament game. This film will keep you on the edge of your seat, despite its lacking drugs, nudity, profanity and having minimal violence-no small feat, that. Even though it was shot in China with an all-Chinese cast, this didn't feel like a foreign film. I guess that's due to soccer's universal appeal. Shaolin itself isn't universal, of course. Then again, perhaps it should be.

The original 2001 Chinese VCD edition!

This gem for only $1 canadian dollar!

On a side note I would like to recommend you to visit as many Thrift Stores as you can if you happen to have these wonderful shops in the country you live in. Why? because yesterday I found the original Video CD version of the film in pristine condition! and it costed me merely one dollar! what are you waiting for?

Here's the movie trailer, and sorry for not posting in so long. I've been busy.