The Bionic Woman

Bionic teacher, Bionic woman.

What could be better than starting 2017 with a brand new review? Nothing, right? So here we are again revisiting some of the most fantastic and iconic live action series from the 70's: The Bionic Woman, the very first TV spin-off that outdid the original series it spawned from. Starred by the beautiful Lindsay Wagner, the series followed the story of Jamie Sommers, a former tennis player who suffered a tragic parachute accident that had her upgraded into a bionic woman with the same state of the art technology had Steve Austin (Lee Majors) become The Six Million Dollar Man. Unlike any other series at the time, The Bionic Woman had characters from both series interacting throughout the 58 episodes the series lasted, thus creating the first  live action cross-over series (Marvel TV/Film cocksuckers should know better!) The show premiered in 1976 and became a massive success in the USA & the UK. 

The Bionic Woman was not only the show that pioneered and paved the way for shows with strong female leads, but did so at a time when The Women's Movement was knocking down walls and breaking stereotypical barriers like never before (much like Jamie Sommers did!!). The irony is that this all happened by accident, as the Sommers character was supposed to die off in the original Six Million Dollar Man series. Well that might have worked in some shows with some characters – but enter Lindsay Wagner who stole America's hearts overnight. Every man wanted to marry her, every woman wanted to be her. If you are of a…eh hem…a certain age, you'll remember that time when the nation immediately fell in love with Ms. Wagner. In fact I know we were all in love with her because I'll never forget being so incredibly heartbroken as a little kid when Jaime Sommers "died" in the show.

a life changing accident.

State of the art technology.

Well it turns out I wasn't the only one with a bionic crush. Families and kids everywhere bombarded ABC with fan mail to keep Jaime and the series alive. As clever as studio execs think they are, they had no idea what they had on their hands and did not foresee how the series would have such a tremendous impact on a generation - and go on to become a tour de force in television pop culture for women and men alike.

As a kid I wouldn't be born until 1981, so I watched The Bionic Woman during re-runs in Chile, my home country. You see, the sick dictatorship that had our country by the balls from 1973 to 1989, was so powerful, they controlled all the media, which in a way, was the very thing that allowed millions of Chileans to discover and/or revisit series from the 60's, 70's and of course the 80's. Our son of a bitch dictator didn't want any form of art to be related to what was going on back then so, he agreed on broadcasting everything foreign just because. Little did he know, many shows discussed the very issues he tried to keep from the country. He's fucking dead now, so let's move on to our review...

Jaime & Co.

Rock lifting.

This show was so dynamic it resonated with both kids and adults alike; there was something for everyone. It was clever, funny, thoughtful, exciting, and quite possibly most of all – 'dark'. The thing that was so intriguing about these cyborg characters was that they were humans who ended up with some special strengths and gifts, but they were extremely flawed compared to your stereotypical 'super hero'. In our minds it was very easy to relate to these characters because all of us saw ourselves in their position if we had a horrible accident and woke up one day with super strengths and a ton of responsibility to our fellow mankind. We watched Jaime get amnesia and forget about her love Steve Austin. We watched her reject her bionics and almost die from the very same gifts that she would go on to battle the evil forces of the world with. We watched her struggle from leading a normal life as a school teacher on one day, to battling fembots and saving the world the next.

But unlike the types of strong women you find in most film and television series today, this woman's key gift was her 'girl next door' flare. And that was her greatest appeal. In fact it's important to note that unlike superhero stories today, the bionics were a secondary character to the show (which is exactly why the re-launch of The Bionic Woman miserably failed on all levels). The bionics may have been a fantastic eye catching weapon; but they provided so much more; for instance – 'comic relief; (cut to Jaime using her bionic arm to whip up an omelet or clean her house). The writers were insightful enough to understand that if any of us wound up with these special gifts, they would probably be used in unsophisticated ways to get us through a painstakingly typical boring rough day. 

You better do your homework kiddo.

Max, the bionic dog.

Unlike the highly sexualized female leads we see on film today, Lindsay Wagner was a combination of incredible beauty and cool sweet charm. Whereas hair and wardrobe take center stage to female characters in our post-modern era, her gifts revolved around her inner strengths the most notable being her magnetic personality. Her smile was her deadliest weapon. And it were these exact traits along with her incredible acting skills that enabled her to win an Emmy for this iconic role. In fact you could easily relate this win to the Oscar nominations Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie received for Stephen King's "Carrie". These were the types of television and film genres that would most likely be overlooked for such prestigious awards – but were handled so brilliantly by the actors that nobody could deny giving credit where credit is due and offering accolades that the performers greatly deserved no matter what the genre.

As above mentioned, The Bionic Woman had crossover characteristics that went far beyond the crossover episodes we've been seeing lately in superhero shows. The characters of Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson) & Doctor Rudy Wells (Martin E. Brooks) appeared playing significant roles during most of the 3 seasons the show ran. Also, When the series changed networks from ABC to NBC for its third and final season, Anderson and Brooks became the first actors in history to play the same characters on two different TV series on two different networks as they continued to appear in The Six Million Dollar Man which remained on ABC.   In addition, when the series changed from ABC to NBC, Lee Majors no longer guest starred on The Bionic Woman because he was still under contract with ABC. Since he was the main character ABC would not allow the crossover, and vice versa with Lindsay Wagner.

You do know I'm faster, right?

Boring work out.

In the last episode ("On the Run"), Jamie is called "Robot Lady" by a little girl who has learned about her bionics. Like Steve Austin in the original book Cyborg, she has to come to terms with the fact that she is not quite human. After three years with too many assignments to allow her time to herself, she resigns. However, the people in charge decide that she cannot just be allowed to leave and want to put her into a safe community where they can keep their eye on her. She goes on the run but later realizes that she is still the same woman, despite her mechanical parts and goes back to work for the OSI, but with fewer missions and more time to herself. The final episode was acknowledged to have been inspired by The Prisoner as Jaime is similarly being pursued by entities concerned about the secret information she possesses.

Despite being on different networks, both The Bionic Woman and The Six Million Dollar Man were simultaneously cancelled in the spring of 1978. Unlike The Six Million Dollar Man, which ended with a standard episode, "On the Run" was written and filmed as a resolution to the series.

Send in the fembots!

Hi-tech can look really ugly.

Later, Three made-for-TV movies were produced that expanded the "bionic family" and explored a rekindled love between Jaime and Steve.

In the first reunion, The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987), Jaime and Steve are reunited after nearly ten years of living separate lives. Jaime's memory is fully restored (according to Oscar, Jaime was involved in an explosion at the American Embassy in Budapest and "she remembered everything" after she recovered from her concussion) and she tries to reconcile her feelings for Steve while at the same time helping train Steve's son Michael in the use of his own recently acquired updated bionics. Jaime challenges Michael to a friendly race. He overtakes her and she makes the comment that she feels like an "obsolete model". Michael is kidnapped by Fortress. Steve and Jamie along with the Air Force infiltrate the abandoned glass factory to "rescue" Michael.

The second film, Bionic Showdown: The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman, (1989) introduced Sandra Bullock as paraplegic Kate Mason who becomes a next-generation bionic woman and Sommers again helps train the neophyte cyborg.

In the final reunion film, Bionic Ever After? (1994), a computer virus corrupts Jaime's bionic systems. Dr. Wells informs Steve that "she may never be bionic again," but Steve's main regard is he wants her alive above all else. She undergoes a major upgrade, which not only increases the power of her bionics but gives her night vision. Finally, after so many years of waiting around, the bionic couple say their "I Do's".

Natural beauty.

Super women from the 70's.

Like its parent program The Bionic Woman spawned its own line of toys. Kenner produced a 12-inch doll of the character, with similar features to the Steve Austin version (bionic modules and removable bionic limbs), except instead of a bionic eye the doll's head would click when turned, simulating the sound of Jaime's bionic ear. Accessories for the doll released by Kenner included additional fashions, and a Bionic Beauty Salon playset.

A metal lunchbox for children was available, as was a vinyl story record produced by Wonderland Records. Kenner produced a series of stickers and temporary tattoos featuring Jaime Sommers individually and with Steve Austin.

A board game based on The Bionic Woman series was also created. It was sold by Parker Brothers in the US, and was a 2–4 player game suited for children between 7 and 12 years of age.

In July 2016, prior to Comic-Con International, the New York Times ran a story about Dynamite Entertainment. In it, best-selling author Andy Mangels was revealed to be writing a prestigious new intercompany crossover mini-series for the company, in conjunction with DC Comics: Wonder Woman '77 Meets The Bionic Woman, bringing together the Lynda Carter television character with Lindsay Wagner's fellow 1970s television super-heroine. 

 

Barbie who?

Retro poster.

Overall, The Bionic Woman stands tall among some of the greatest Sci-Fi TV series from the 70's and from any decade. The charisma Wagner had as the leading role, plus the supporting cast and the variety of stories that ranged from weekend camps to stopping nuclear missiles from falling in L.A. guarantee a show that even on 2017 can entertain the most avid Science Fiction/Comic Book fans of all ages. 

Here's the original opening from the series:

Some TV ads promoting the wonderful Kenner toyline:

The original TV bumper from ABC:

The DVD advertisement:

A brief behind the scenes featurette:

And last but not least, a collection of bloopers: