Run! Bitch Run!

Unnecessary homage.

It's no secret the exploitation genre is a collection of great ideas reworked over and over, and it's for that reason we don't usually review exploitation films from decades later than the 90's, where the last bullets of the genre were shot.Today's entry is the directorial debut of Joseph Guzman, a man who is better known for his second film Nude Nuns With Big Guns which we reviewed some years ago. 

 

Run! Bitch Run! is an attempt to bring back the rape & revenge sub genre which is perhaps the most gruesome film style you can watch even today. In the 70's things were a lot looser in censorship, and creativity, specially in the sexploitation field, was obsessed with displaying the most violent & sleazy side of mankind. The gore genre is nothing compared to movies like I Spit On Your Grave, The Last House On The Left, Thriller: A Cruel Picture, Ms. 45 and a long list of flicks considered as cult items today. Fortunately, for the untrained eye, Run! Bitch Run! it's a lot lighter than some of the previously mentioned films, and it's nowhere near the quality and originality the earlier had. 

 

Good ol' chatolic girls.

Good 0l' pervs.

Speaking of homage, Guzman is neither Quentin Tarantino, nor Robert Rodriguez, so instead of delivering an hour and half of pure tribute vibes, we get the exact opposite: a film that seems forced all the time. Even the great funky guitars from the music score sound as if they were pushed way too far to make us believe this wasn't a 2009 film, but one from the 70's. The whole overall feeling you get from watching this film is that making a B-movie/exploitation film isn't as easy as people usually think, and Guzman cleary took everything for granted when filming this forgettable homage attempt.

 

Anyway, let's set critics aside (remember, you watch it, you decide whether it's good or bad, our opinion is just that, a mere opinion in a world of Mrs know it all) and let's get down to business.

Catholic & loaded!

Get a load of this!

So, Run! Bitch Run! is about two Catholic girls (Cheryl Lyone as Catherine, and Christina Derosa as Rebecca) that sell Bibles  for a living. Predictably enough, they knock on the wrong door and get brought into a world of drugs, violence and prostitution. Soon, it becomes apparent that they probably will not survive, at least in one piece.

The film opens up with three couples fucking, two people taking bong hits and a murder scene. So the first five minutes really set the overall tone for the rest of the film.

The word that describes this film is either "nudity" or "exploitation" because it is both of these and nothing more. Within ten minutes, we see a fully nude Catholic girl, some naked nuns, gratuitous nudity on characters who do not even factor into the plot, and more. The nudity pretty much never stops, and considering this is a sexploitation flick where nudity & sex are supposed to play a key role in the plot, this simply doesn't happen. Everything is gratuitous and just because. Disappointing, cause this can mislead exploitation newcomers into thinking this is what this genre is all about, but believe you me, there's more than meets the eye!

 

A very christian girl.

 

Is that cum on her face?

This is a low budget picture, with the expected video and sound. The closest to any stars this picture has is the kid from Rob Zombie's "Halloween". The budget is not the big problem, though -- it is the plot. We have about 80% "I Spit on Your Grave" (without the graphic content that made this film so disgustingly famous) and 20% "Last House on the Left". There is practically nothing original about this film, aside from maybe the use of a plunger for masturbating.

The acting is below average as expected in the genre. Every actress with starring roles here, never worked in the film industry again and maybe the only thing that made this film known to a certain extent, it's the good publicity it had promising a return to the daring filming of the 70's. 

Poor little girl...

...helpless in the woods.

What makes this film a total meh, is the fact that the revenge sub plot is so brief, that you don't really care about what's happening to our lead heroine anymore. The film has little to no graphic violence, and the whole set of characters offered is one dimensional and due to budget issues (I guess?), they never get any chance for developing their personalities or sort of, explain why they do what they do. 

 

Again, this genre is usually unfairly bashed, but Run! Bitch Run! clearly deserves to be considered an insult to a genre with millions of followers around the world. Movies are not made just because, we expect a story to be told, appealing, or at least,  characters we learn to care about throughout the film's running time. Nothing like that happens here, so if you skip it, you're not missing much. 

 

Sleeping slutty beauty.

C'mon! just one more anal!

Positively, for the film maker, his skills were vastly improved in 2010 with the one film I'd recommend from him: Nude Nuns With Big Guns. Another, rape & revenge film, only this time, nothing was taken for granted and every mistake made in Run! Bitch Run! was properly dealt with in order to deliver a movie that people can actually care about watching. 

Overall, a film that is neither for connoisseurs of the genre nor for newbies, yet this film could be watched by untrained eyes as the rape part is treated very lightly compared to other films from the past, and maybe that's a good thing because rape is just too much. The T & A show is not that good either, so if you've really watched every good exploitation film there is, you may want to try this just for the fun of it. 

Here's the movie trailer:

Bad Biology

Old school sexploitation in the 21st century.

Frank Henenlotter is a well known film maker among trash cinema fans. Proud creator of bad taste classics like Basket Case (1982), Brain Damage (1988) & Frankenhooker (1990), returned to the film making industry (and to the 21st century) in 2009 with Bad Biology, today's film in deep review. 

If you're not familiar with Mr. Henenlotter's work, I can tell he grew up watching B-movies and obviously, all his films are trashy enough to be considered a fair homage to other B-movie directors. 

Meet Jennifer...

...and Batz.

Bad Biology is the story of a man and a girl that are obsessed with their sexual lives. However, their obsession goes beyond the limits of what's usual. Jennifer (Charlee Danielson) is a blonde sex machine born with 7 clitorises! So, in order to keep her orgasm appetite attune, she spends her days working as a photographer. Her interest is obviously finding men who can keep up with her mutation.  While on the other side of town, Batz (Anthony Seeds) a young loner who was born with a super sized junkie penis, struggles to find a cure and lead a normal life. If you're still reading this, I'm sure you will have a good laugh watching this 85 minute sexploitation horror film.

Obviously, this film, and any Hennenlotter film for that matter, are not for the faint of heart or easily scared type. While the films portrays the sexual adventures of a soon to be couple, there's nothing arousing about the sex parts. In addition, the most violent scenes are closely related to the sexual mind state of both Jennifer & Batz.

Jennifer is a 24/7 cum machine!

She collects the most useful toys.

The acting is predictably terrible, as it usually is in a Henenlotter movie, the script is alternately amusing,sexy and crude, and in the special effects department, it clearly shows off it's limited budget to great effect, nonetheless connoisseurs know this is part of the signature film making of Mr. Hennenlotter.

The gore on display is limited and most of the more horrific acts are actually played out with a streak of black humor running through them. In fact, the majority of this movie is more comedy than horror but there are certainly some disturbing moments among the levity.

Jennifer at work.

Jennifer's latest art installation: Pussy face.

Plot wise, if we are OK with weird science, the story is the best part of the film by far. Jennifer's story is that of a desperate person, looking forward to satisfy her strange mutation, and sometimes, or most of the time, she goes way too far to get what she wants. Pleasing 7 clitorises is clearly a gigantic task that requires men that do not exist even in the universe of the film. Besides, her side effect is what adds some of the creepiest moments to her story. Then, there is Batz, a shy man who's clearly living a painful life that has led to a never-ending obsession to find a cure to his weird mutation: a giant penis that can communicate with Batz' brain whenever it requires more drugs to stop sexual desire. Whenever Batz runs out of drugs, his penis instantly takes him into a painful trip. 



Jennifer is clearly the happier one of the odd couple. I mean, she's a beautiful blonde who can get laid whenever she wants, and seems to not give a flying fuck about the constant consequence that haunts her sexual escapades. Batz, on the other hand, is running away from the social world, and his only friends are a bunch of lifeless junkies, but concerning a sexual life, he is too aware he is a living danger to any woman near him.

it's hard to find men to satisfy her appetite.

Cunnilingus to 7 clitorises must be a hell of a job.

Amongst the true die-hard fanatics of trashy grindhouse exploitation/horror cinema, a select but loyal alliance of which I'm a proud member, the comeback of writer/director Frank Hennenlotter was pretty much of one the most anticipated events of the new millennium. The legendary director hadn't made any films since the disappointing sequels to his classic "Basket Case" in the early 90's. It may have taken Hennenlotter 16 years to direct another film, but he certainly hasn't lost his sense of tastelessness yet. Quite the contrary, I'd say, "Bad Biology" is probably the trashiest and most lurid film in many years. Not bad for a nearly 60-year-old director who hasn't been active in all those years.

Although I overall really enjoyed my viewing of "Bad Biology", I can't say it was the successful return feature that I wanted it to be. The film contains a handful of terrific basic ideas (like the mutant babies) and some hilarious sequences (throbbing penis penetrates walls), but the wholesome feels somewhat too forced. Hennenlotter tries a little too hard to demonstrate that he is still his old sick-in-the-head self or even that he has become even more perverted during his absence. The main storyline, appropriately described in the tagline as "one god-awful love story" is too thin and Hennenlotter doesn't succeed in holding the viewer's attention until the ending. The wannabe blackly comical jokes and situations often miss their effect and the script is actually at its funniest when reverting to blunt and tasteless images, like a POV shot from inside a vagina or the sight of a man wrestling with his own penis. "Bad Biology" is gory enough to satisfy trash-lovers, with some stupendously over-the-top and gratuitous make-up effects and crazy scenery. 

Nudity is cheaper by the dozen on this film.

This girl is about to cum forever after.

Even at barely 85 minutes of playtime, the film contains quite a lot of pointless padding footage, like a couple of teenagers discussing legendary porn star John Holmes in a snack bar and a couple of crack-addicted junkies arguing to each other. All the players were amateurs with zilch experience, so I guess the acting – albeit very bad – could even have been a lot worse. I'm glad Hennenlotter returned, and I enjoyed his bonkers film a lot more than I enjoyed the nowadays overload of remakes and stupid teen slashers, but regretfully his comeback isn't the trash-triumph it could have been. 

A hard one to recommend but fans of Henenlotter shouldn't really find too much to complain about here. It may not be a return to his top form but it IS a return and, for that at least, we should be grateful.

See this if you like: Frankenhooker, Brain Damage, Pervert!

Hey Batz! wanna cum on my tits?

Hope I don't die swallowing!

 Here's the movie trailer, and remember, keep it classy & trashy! 

 

Wonder Woman

Empowering!

"Long ago when time was new..." Are the first lines uttered by Queen Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen) to explain a preschooler Diana of Themyscira (Lilly Aspell) how war changed the world forever. Before women followed a separate path from men, the almighty Zeus went into a war against Ares, his own son who grew jealous of mankind and poisoned men with deadly sins, thus unraveling a deadly war between God & men. 

Directed by Patty Jenkins & written by Zack Snyder, Allan Heinberg & Jason Fuchs, Wonder Woman is a cinematic triumph that comes 77 years after the conception of the first fully independent female superhero of all time. 

In a world of peaceful women...

...There's no place for men.

In a 1943 issue of The American Scholar, William Moulton Marston AKA Charles Moulton (creator of Wonder Woman) wrote: "Not even girls want to be girls so long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength, and power. Not wanting to be girls, they don't want to be tender, submissive, peace-loving as good women are. Women's strong qualities have become despised because of their weakness. The obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman."

Today, in 2017 we're living in a world that is always in motion with social issues and the fight for equality still has a long way to go for the final blow. Wonder Woman is the very first live action film about a super heroine (let's just not count that awful 2004 Catwoman flick that had nothing to do with comic books) The last known interpretation of the character was the cult 70's series starred by Lynda Carter & Lyle Wagoner from 1977 to 1979. There was an aborted attempt at a 2011 WW series and besides animated DC Comics film, the industry is beginning to pay a long overdue debt with female audiences. 

Diana, the most powerful amazon.

More than meets the eye.

We join Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) at the Louvre. She tells us a little about her past and her mixed views on mankind. She's working at her desk when representatives from Wayne Enterprises come into her office. They come offering gifts however and Diana accepts the briefcase they give her. Inside is the original photograph of her and her compatriots: Steve Trevor (Chris Pine), Sameer (Said Tagmhaoui), Charlie (Ewen Brenner) and The Chief (Eugene Brave Rock). They fought together in war-torn Belgium during the First World War. With the photo comes a note from Bruce saying that "someday Diana has to tell Bruce her story". The photo is precious to Diana and she begins to fill us in on what happened to her so long ago.

When Batman v Superman featured the same photo I figured the WW film had to be the story behind the picture. Obviously, that was the WW1 setting which brought a unique backdrop full of interesting moments like Wonder Woman's fight across No Man's Land. WW1 is rarely covered in Hollywood and they make connections to real WW1 issues like the introduction of gas attacks into warfare. I thought it was impressive that they capitalized on such a strong concept, I have to credit the writers and director Patty Jenkins for doing such an excellent job.
 

"I'll help you find Ares Diana".

Fitting in.

It wasn't that long ago that Warner Bros. and DC were hearing tons of complaints about Gal Gadot being cast as Wonder Woman. Crap like "She's not American", "She's no actress" and a long list of fanboy nonsense proved the world (of haters at least) wrong and proved Gadot right!. WW was never American! She's an Amazonian! and her Israeli English accent is fitting for the role. Unlike what Lynda Carter did earlier in the 70's. After all, she was 1972's Miss World America. Gal Gadot's WW is strong yet vulnerable and completely holds up her end as Diana from both dramatic and action oriented standpoints. They made a good call casting somebody of Pine's caliber beside her. He has a cool character to work with but he also balances his character's responsibilities as a spy and a guide to Diana for this new world she's experiencing. Danny Huston and Elena Anaya are both good but they're undercut by their characters in the end. I really liked the other members of Diana's crew even if they're not as central to the plot as they make them seen. I especially thought Said did a good job, he helps sell some of the nuanced emotional moments. Robin Wright and Connie Nielsen are also really good, the stuff with Diana's past could have been hokey but they handle it so well that it actually works.

Wonder Woman includes everything you want in the superhero genre. The action is well shot, it's not necessarily anything mind-blowing but there are a few nice set pieces. It joins Deadpool and Captain America: The First Avenger in being one of the few superhero movies where they have a romantic subplot that actually works. There are also some funny moments, most of them at Diana's expense of not knowing what the world was like in the 1910s. Lucy Davis is largely there as comedic relief as Etta and she does a decent job helping keep things light.

Good woman.

Bad woman.

For all the glowing reviews Wonder Woman, its not perfect. They do a great job setting up the villains and they even throw a curve ball at the end. But I didn't think they were very memorable and you're not going to remember Wonder Woman for their characters. They also gouge a few of the background villains pretty badly to lend some credibility to the main villain which wasn't my favorite choice. The ending wasn't poorly done but it devolves into the same fight we've seen in a dozen other superhero movies. I get we need a big finish but the rest of the movie deserved a better finale.

I've been a little more forgiving of some of DCs franchises so far (I thought Man of Steel and Suicide Squad had their moments) but this is easily DCs best movie since Christopher Nolan was in control of Batman. They take advantage of an underused setting, Wonder Woman is a great protagonist and the cast (specifically Gal Gadot and Chris Pine) deliver strong performances. The movie isn't flawless however and I think the hype train has gotten a little out of control. It actually falls victim to some pretty typical minor issues for the genre. We should celebrate the fact that DC gave us a well-made and satisfying origin for Wonder Woman, if you have a chance to go see it, I would recommend it. 

Here's the movie trailer:

    

Uden en trævl: Without a Stitch

The road to sexual happiness.

Uden  en trævl, AKA Without a Stitch is a 1968 Danish sexploitation comedy film based upon Dagbladet (something like Diary), a Norwegian novel written by Jens Bjørneboe. Directed by Annelise Meineche and starred by the all natural beauty Anne Grete Nissen, Without a Stitch is the visual adaptation of the book. Sexploitation films never looked this classy before. All the nudity and sex scenes are crafted in a way (that is naive compared to other films) you can tell the director was a woman. Most of the action happens either in broad daylight or in places where there is enough light to witness the immense natural beauty Grete has in her D.N.A. 

So, the story is about Lillian (Anne Grete Nissen) a seventeen going eighteen years old that has grown very frustrated because she can't cum when she's fucking boys.  yes, according to the book & film, the main concern of a teenager in 1968 was having an orgasm. Talk about being open minded! Maybe we should start asking our grandparents about it, well, no, that isn't a good idea... 

Nevertheless, she can easily cum while masturbating, but when a boy has a go it's just no good. Fortunately her classmate Brita (Ki-Jo Feza) knows where she can get help (after helping her out herself, as the sworn enemies discover that they can have some fun together diddling their skittles). Brita knows this doctor, Dr. Petersen (Ib Mossin, someone who looks a lot like Adam West) -- "a specialist in the orgasm" -- and Lillian entrusts herself into his care, with all the desired results.

A professional doctor goes the extra mile.

You're getting better Lillian, keep on fucking!

Without a Stitch begins with a bit of girl-on-girl action with Lillian and Brita, as well as Lillian's sex attempts with her believably inexperienced boyfriend Henry (Niels Borksand). So after try after try she ends up pissing his boyfriend off  realizing she needs urgent professional help. Thank god Brita refers her to Dr. Peterson:

     "Are you a ... man ?" I asked.
     ""Yes," he said. "A man of science. First of all, I want to help you, and secondly collect evidence, statistical evidence, on young women's orgasmic inhibitions. I'm planning a work of great impact for gynecological psychiatry. That's my field, you know."

It comes as no surprise that Dr. Petersen is a real hands-on kind of doctor -- though, as he reminds Lillian, this is serious business:

     "Oh, no," I said. "Can't you do it once more ?"
     "We're not here for the fun of it," he answered. "The government's paying for it."

Lillian's problem seems to be that she worries about what her mother and grandmother might think, causing these inhibitions that hold her back. But Dr. Petersen helps her overcome these, and instructs her in his own moral code -- which amounts to that "all sex is good (and more is apparently better ...), as long as no one is hurt or taken advantage of".So, Lillian agrees on the doctor's professional program and visits him on a daily basis while avoiding sexual contact with other man. Once the doctor has masturbated, fucked, sucked, teased, touched, and cum all over her body, he tells Lillian she's ready to have an orgasm.

I'm gonna suck your cum dry!

I'm really good at cunilingus Lillian.

What's a newly sexually uninhibited girl to do ? Hitchhike across Europe, of course. Conveniently her first ride gets her involved in making a pornographic film (they even shave her pussy) which earns her enough money ($4.000 krones) to travel in style. To prove that Lillian isn't just a mindless sex-toy, Bjørneboe (the author of the book) also has her buy some nice books with her new-found cash in order to make her a sexually opened woman that is also interested in polishing her mind.

So she has a few adventures, and even falls in love in Paris. Both the book and movie don't get too kinky, leaving only so many variations on the theme, and as with practically all sex-writing it gets fairly one-note tiresome. Good for Lillian, that she gets wet so often (pretty much everything here seems to set her off), but ultimately that just leaves the fiction feeling pretty soggy. 

Yes, they will cum on your face and you'll swallow.

Double penetration! just what the doctor ordered!

Without a Stitch is fairly harmless erotic fun. The innocent-girl side to it has some appeal: Lillian seems to do little other than have sex, but Dr. Petersen really did his job and she doesn't feel ashamed about recounting what she's done. People usually bash movies based on books, and despite the fact this film is still rather obscure and hard to find, the producers did a pretty good job at preserving the "lighter side of things" the original novel has. Despite the fact, Lillian is traveling Europe fucking strangers, fucking girl on girl and even doing a double penetration threesome and some S & M, the overall feel of the flick is that of an innocent girl discovering the world through her vagina, so that is definitely one of the strong features of the film, staying true to the original novel.

As above mentioned, there is a lot of sex here & there, but the kinkiness is kept to a minimum, thus making the movie feel very, very softcore. Anne Grete is a beautiful actress and seems to have no trouble taking her clothes off in each scene she's in. 

a Scan from an old mag featuring the film.

Oh yeah, doggy style!

Anne Grete Nissen's career would be short lived, three films and that's it. Without a Stitch was her debut and only starring role, & then she would work in Bedroom Mazurka (1970) and Dagmar's Hot Pants, Inc. (1971). However, in Norwegian Wikipedia she is credited for two more films  Kyrkoherden (1970) & Lockfågeln (1971). She was born in  December 14, 1946 in Denmark and she is not to be confused with Annegrethe Nissen, another Danish actress that died in 2013.

 
Amazingly, this Swedish/Danish movie was recently released on a pretty nice-looking English-friendly DVD under the title "Without a Stitch". The feature itself is sexy, albeit strangely innocent, fun, and the disc also includes a truly incredible collection of Swedish skin-flick trailers featuring the films of various Scandinavian lovelies like Christine Lindberg, Marie Lilljedahl , and Maria Forsa.

Believe you me, semen is good for your skin.

a toss to a wet pussy!

Overall, Without a Stitch is fairly entertaining sex comedy from a more innocent time, before the sassy 70's. Despite all the topics the film features (masturbation, sexual abuse from a gynecologist, lesbian sex, porn film making, double penetration, etc)  I can say this is one of the softest soft core films I've ever watched. Worth watching just because the actresses are all natural beauties, and the story itself isn't lame since it's based upon a book. 

 

Here's the first five minutes of the film, as there is no trailer:

PS: I know we promised a review for Last Call, be patient because it's still cooking.