Battle Can²

Charlie's Angels in space.

We return to that dark corner in your local video rental store from the late 80s/early 90s to bring you one of those OVAs your older brother/friend would rent for you.

バトルキャン2, AKA Battle Can², or simply Battle Can Can is a 30 minute OVA directed by George Oshima. It was released in 1987 in Japan, and bootlegged overseas during the 90s Animé world domination plan. Later it was licensed by Media Blasters and released on DVD in 2004. However, it's been out of print since then. 

Like most Ecchi/Hentai productions from the 80s, the animation and overall production seems rushed, and not the best quality available at the time. The plot, if there's a need for one in this kind of movies, delivers enough information to introduce the main characters and their purpose in the universe.

 

The elusive Japanese VHS.

Now, why is this OVA called Battle Can Can?

The can-can is a high-energy, physically demanding dance that became a popular music-hall dance in the 1840s, continuing in popularity in French cabaret to this day. Originally danced by couples, it is now traditionally associated with a chorus line of female dancers, and this "chorus line of female dancers" is the group of heroines that lead the story. Their "battle & dance" require a more direct approach, so their bodies, and their sex skills are handy weapons.

Synopsis

Join this band of femme fatales as they sacrifice their dignity to save the galaxy from unsavory space pirates. To solve their cases, they battle the bad guys, rescue stolen treasure, and wrestle space aliens. No job is too big, no humiliation is too great, and no alien has too many tentacles to keep them from the big score.

On their latest mission, the Battle Can-Can girls are out to retrieve a stolen artifact known as the Cosmic Firefly, a gorgeous but fragile jewel worth many billions of dollars, much more than what they make in a year! In order to return it to the rightful owners, they must subdue the most vicious space pirates, have sex with aliens, and confront a traitor from within!  

Hardcore heroes for hire.

Deadly women.

Join this band of femme fatales as they save the galaxy from unsavory space pirates and tentacled-monsters. To solve their cases, the battle the bad guys, rescue stolen treasure, and wrestle space aliens. No job is too big, and no alien has too many tentacles to keep them from that big score. On their latest mission, the Battle Can-Can girls are out to retrieve a stolen artifact known as the Cosmic Firefly, a gorgeous but fragile jewel worth billions of dollars. In order to return it to the rightful owners, they must subdue the most vicious space pirates, seduce aliens, and confront a possible traitor in their midst.

Right out the game, it's pretty obvious that Battle Can-Can is total 80's schlock. With an incredibly shallow plot that's just meant to get the whole thing going just so it can quickly get to what the audience wants, rampant sex and nudity along with fun dumb action scenes. Obviously, there's a reason why most people have never heard of Battle Can Can before. Moreover, there's another reason why it isn't officially available anymore, but we'll discuss that later.

Our heroes spaceship.

Take a knee takes a whole new meaning here.

The animation is incredibly cheap and rushed, and it obviously cheaps out wherever it can, such as reusing frames, or just skipping frames where it can. Despite that, each female lead has their own distinct looks, along with all of the background alien designs.

But the best worst thing about this is the abrupt mood whiplashes this anime goes through. Literally right at the start, a group of pirates board a space ship and attempts to rape some of the women. During this is slapstick comedy, and all through it is over-the-top 80's action that you've come to expect from dumb 80's anime. Like the out of print DVD cover suggests, Battle Can Can is absolutely not for children.

Dickhead aliens.

Rapist aliens.

Now, 35 years later the world has changed so much, that the Ecchi/Hentai industry has struggled to survive due to modern restrictions based on the new better society we're trying to build for everyone. 

 

Opinion if I was an 80s kid discovering this VHS tape from a friend of a friend:

 

Wow dude! it's so rad! did you see all the sex? wow! and the violent deaths? wow! Where can I find more stuff like this? It's so dark and gritty! Can I do that to my girlfriend? Can she do that?

Opinion from the 40 year old loser I am today:

If I was a woman, I wouldn't watch this OVA even if my life depended on it. The amount of sexual violence towards women reaches a whole new level here. Out of the 5 leads, 3 die after being raped by snakes, exploding dildos and aliens. Moreover, the dated kitsch concept of women as objects, is pushed to the limits here. The leads agree to be raped for the sake of the mission, the leads agree to die for the sake of the mission, and the surviving team members never attempt an act of revenge. They just move on to the next step on their mission. I know the producers may have tried to offer a "shocking experience" to the viewers but I do believe they went too far here. While there are more graphically explicit hentai shows out there, what I found to be extremely disturbing is the fact that women accept rape, and end up enjoying it! That could have only been written by depraved minds for sure. 

While we all know "hentai" means "depraved" in most cases, the Anime that have reached cult status in the genre, usually had a more comedic approach or a consistent plot. Consent is a thing of the past, I'm very happy this OVA is out of print.

Here, we're ready for action.

Use my body.

Now, I'm not being over-reactive here, or basing my opinion over right wing morals. My point is, who in his/her right mind would enjoy watching this OVA? I don't think you can say "nah, it's just 80s sleaze, have fun with it". Not anymore. The rules have changed for the better, and this is coming from a guy that's watched lots of sexploitation films and Ecchi anime for decades. I understand the content here is 35 years old and was probably made with different intentions but today, I don't see how someone would want this in their collection today.

Plot wise, Battle Can Can has a big problem: If these are the ultimate heroines, how come 3 out of 5 die in their first mission? Are they truly trained for battle, or are they mere prostitutes looking for a way out?

 

Here, have an exploding dildo.

"Being raped is such a turn on" No one, never.

 

Now that I'm older I can say I'll always have 2 problems with animé in general: 

1. Under-aged characters being heroes/saving the world are so unrealistic.

2. Sex in Animé delivers the wrong message: Women like consent, women enjoy being raped. Man, that's disgusting and wrong! Not to mention the big amount of under-aged female characters involved in most of the genre. Sexualizing kids is a god-awful stereotype we need to erase from Earth.

You can't find it entertaining when you see a rape scene, you simply can't. it's impossible to say "this was made for entertainment purposes". Moreover, Battle Can Can was sold in home formats with the "Absolutely not for children" tag, so if this is aimed at adults, I'm sure they can see all the wrongs this little animated movie has. This is truly an example of a depraved OVA. Skip it at all costs, or watch at your own risk.