Prime Cut

"Together they're murder in Prime Cut"

Today's entry will take us back to the greatest decade of exploitation films: the sausy 70's and it will  be a crash of tough actors Gene Hackman & Lee Marvin. Featuring the acting debut of a young & pretty Sissy Spacek. Enter "Prime Cut" AKA "En Carne Viva". The movie starts as Chicago mob boss Jake (played by Eddie Egan) hires 'problem solver' Nick Devlin (played by action master Lee Marvin) for 50k to go to Kansas City & recover the half a million dollars that some cattle rancher by the female name of Mary Ann (Gene Hackman, the man himself) owes the mob, Nick accepts the job & Jake gives him three of his boy's to go with him. Once there Nick ask's Mary nicely to hand over the money, Mary isn't keen on the idea so Nick has to use more convincing methods to make Mary part with the cash which in turn makes Mary use more convincing methods to make Nick realise he isn't going to hand it over. Cue lots of shooting & violence...

Directed by Michael Ritchie this is a pretty entertaining action thriller from the early 70's ,1972 to be specific. The straight forward & somewhat predictable script by Robert Dillon moves along at a nice enough pace, it never bores or outstays it's welcome & it has a nice exploitative edge about it. From turning human beings into sausages at Mary Ann's slaughterhouse up to a prostitution racket operated by Mary Ann where he sells teenage girls off to the highest bidder in a sleazy little unexpected sub-plot.

I'll get you out of here!

The script doesn't seem to take itself too seriously either, from a shoe turning up on a sausage production line to a scene where a car is mashed up & spit out by a combine harvester! The character's are good although we never learn why Gene Hackman's character is called Mary & the dialogue is effective enough without resorting to constant obscenities. So what we have here is a nice sleazy little crime thriller with some decent action scenes, nudity & a sense of black humour along with Gene Hackman & Lee Marvin as heavies, what more do you want? Well, the action scenes are a bit short & as a whole while it's good the film is maybe a little forgettable, I enjoyed it for what it was but there are plenty of more entertaining films depicting the same storyline with more concrete action scenes.

In other countries the movie was known as "Die Professionals"

Be careful if you meet this man.

Two great actors face to face.

Director Ritchie does quite a fair job with this film & the opening sequence in the abattoir as we follow the making of sausage's is one of the coolest openings ever & sets the tone of the film up right away. The shoot-outs at the local fête & a sun flower field are both well staged if a little short & uneventful. I think Prime Cut could have used a really good car chase, there's a scene at the end with a large truck but it's not really a chase. The violence isn't excessive although there's some full frontal nudity if that's your thing.

Technically the film is very good with impressive widescreen cinematography that capture the Kansas City farmland very well, it's an unusual setting for this type of film & it's a neat location. The strong cast includes Lee Marvin & Gene Hackman who are both class in this & a first appearance by Sissy Spacek who gets naked several times  to comply with the exploitation 70's standards "wanna get famous? get naked as much as you can then"

Mary Ann's virgins farm.

Care for a teenage slut?

Sissy Spacek's teen bush.

Prime Cut is an enjoyable action thriller with two great leading men having fun with machine guns, I liked it but despite the nice location & cool opening sequence it's a bit forgettable & it could have been done with slightly stronger action scenes considering Lee Marvin was the leading role. Sissy Spacek does quite a good job and in a way she, herself represents the exploitation of her character beyond the big screen, because of the many nude scenes in which she's in.Also, we can find a brief but sexy intervention of  sexy Angel Tompkins as Clarabelle.

Titties.

Exploitation.

Amazing Angel Tompkins.

Overall an entertaining movie, that moves a bit too slow at times in terms of the action scenes you could expect but, the topics developed in the movie are quite interesting I might say. We have the gangster ass that's looking forward to keep on getting richer with his abattoir no matter the cost and if that wasn't enough this guy is a white slave trader!! a shocking topic that we seem to think it's gone by today's standards of justice but you never can tell pals.

Here's the full movie for your pleasure. Watch while is it available online for free:

 

My Chauffeur

This poster couldn't be more 80's style looking.

Today's entry will be epic irony as we  return to the long forgotten 80's B movies that didn't make it If I was asked why do I think the exploitation genre fell into obscurity I would definitely answer: because of the 80's clichés that infected drive-ins & movie theaters everywhere, people just didn't care anymore.1984's My Chauffeur it's not an epic piece of cinematic history, and sure it's a formulaic and derivative romantic comedy, but still it possesses a correct plot structure, some engaging vignettes of comedy (for instance the "A blue lady with a blue dog! That's 20,000 points!" line), well-drawn characters, witty dialog, and the disgusting 80's style soundtrack that I personally hate. "My Chauffeur" is all-around well written and well realized. Watching this film, you can tell the people involved both in front of and behind the camera really put their imaginations and talents into crafting something special. Deborah Foreman is quirky-cute-cool as Casey Meadows, an aspiring limo driver who shakes up the stuffy status quo of Brentwood Limousine Company when she's hush-hush hired by its reclusive owner (E.G. Marshall). She faces the cold shoulders of all of the older male drivers, save for a paternal Irish gent (played marvelously by Sean McClory) who takes her under his wing.

Cyndi Lauper wannabe.

a Woman's journey into a men's world only.

Sam Jones is marvelous as Battle Witherspoon, the dictatorial corporate suit who's all business and no pleasure - until he meets Foreman's Casey and slowly melts for her. The romance that ensues between them is surrounded by a wonderful cast of characters who populate the movie's tangental scenes, such as the one that features the film debut of Penn & Teller (as a con man and a Middle Eastern prince, respectively). Myself, I get a little choked up every time I see the scenes where Casey comes to the transportation rescue of a young man being berated by his girlfriend for not having a car, and where Battle finally realizes what a jerk he's been and commands his long-suffering, single-mom secretary to march down to human resources the following Monday and name her own raise. Touching, heartfelt, sincere stuff. Yeah, it's a fairy tale film filled with other little fairy tales, but that's what makes it so much fun. Even more fun: "My Chauffeur" has one of the most fall-down laughing drunk scenes I've ever seen. After Jones' character gets dumped by his girlfriend, he gets rip-roaring blotto in the back of Casey's limo. Chugging scotch, primal screaming and spewing venom he declares his freedom and commences to streak stark naked through a neighborhood park. 

How do I look like?

What is it with you man?

You cry like a pussy you know.

However, to have a better understanding of the film's plot & comedy you certainly had to live in the 80's to fully understand it, and if that's not your case you'll find yourself with a movie that looks and sounds dated being also very predictable by today's romantic comedy standards. What does this movie lack? well, according to exploitation standards it lacks plenty of tits & ass scenes, also the whole mood of the movie feels as if it was made with innocence and intended for audiences that wouldn't be caught dead in a drive-in. Let's remember that, legend has it if you go to a drive-in  it is merely because you want to get laid, not because you want to watch a tearjerker comedy and considering the level of hotness of the actresses it is a pity we don't see anything else from them beyond their crazy 80's hairdo & clothing.

Here's a live song played in the movie, by The Wigs:

And the promising movie trailer:

Coach

Everybody loves a blonde winner!

Everybody loves a Winner! so true yet so clichéd. Crown International Pictures was the go to place for B movies in the late 60's, 70's & 80's they did have the formula, no wonder! Today's entry is about a 1978 flick under the simple title of Coach. Starred by the awesome Cathy Lee Crosby, a blonde with the 70's look in her beatiful face and hot body, and yeah the decent amount of acting talent to complete the recipe. Cathy Lee Crosby did the original pilot for the DC Comics' Wonder Woman TV show but, somehow wasn't as good as Lynda Carter who got the role to become bone & flesh Wonder Woman.

Miss Rawlings.

The anti-Woman Principal.

The Kids.

Following a simple storytelling the movie provides us a good amount of entertaining on an area that's been exploited way too many times: The hot teacher that falls in love with one of her gifted students. Crown International Pictures did know a lot about this kind of storytelling since they had released in 1977 the exploitation thriller starred by awesome Angel Tompkins The Teacher. The concept developed in 1978's Coach is somehow lighter than the '77 release and adds a more feet-on-the-ground plot line. Cathy Lee Crosby is hired to become the basketball coach of the Gold Stallions, a failed team who is always beaten game after game. However the movie offers a lot more than training sequences and basketball matches. Miss Randy Rawlings, is a former champion, an athlete with a perfect body and hundreds of medals & ribbons to back her up. The problem is the board of directors don't want to have a female teacher around, they just seem to think men are capable and women are not, period. Miss Rawlings tells them she's capable enough and she won't accept any kind of discrimination just being a woman alone. 

Kyle Reese cheating on Sarah Connors.

The hot teacher & Student Cliché.

The one and only almost nude scene.

Coitus Interruptus.

Once Miss Rawlings is set to training her kids, she falls in love with one of them Jack Ripley (played by a young Michael Biehn, you know the one who played Kyle Reese in The Terminator) so ,they start quite an innocent relationship where we don't really get to see that much from Cathy Lee Crosby, cause they're like in the romantic kind of relationship with little or no sex for us to watch at all. Probably the minor let down of the movie.

Overall, an entertaining movie that takes some time to deliver the main idea of making the Gold Stallions a winner's team and spends most of the time on Miss Rawlings & Jack Ripley's relationship until there is a non explained cheating scene where the story is suddenly skipped for letting us the Gold Stallions make it against the Bulls team. After that the movie is over. 

She almost became Wonder Woman.

Watch it if you wanna have fun. Here'sthe movie trailer:

PS: as a bonus track I give the Cathy Lee Crosby's Wonder Woman pilot:

Back to the Future

Cool it bro!

Today  I will find myself having difficulties, cause I'll be reviewing one of the many favorite films I myself have classified in a neverending list of random genres movies. The year is 1985, the setting is a wonderful sci-fi comedy, probably one of the best there has ever been: Back to the Future! one of the best films of all times! thousands & thousands of movie sites & bloggers as yours truly, praise this movie to the highest ratings paradise. Say, if you haven't heard of Marty McFly, Dr. Emmet Brown and a flying DeLorean it can only mean one thing: you are a big smelly piece of crap.

Heroes & their ride.

Back to the Future, is probably one of the most original & refreshing ideas presented in the big screen since Star Wars and the awesome exploitation genre. The succesful recipe is quite simple, in fact  I'd state that the 80's delivered the most interesting sci-fi ideas despite their special effects limitations,  Robert Zemeckis took the elements of a family rated comedy plus the exact amount of fantasy science fiction and a spoonful of talented actors with the final touch of the 80's pop scene and voilá: you have a masterpiece. Zemeckis knew this very well, so he built a strong storyline that would ensure audiences to love the movie for ages. 

The startling effects of modern science.

So, shoulders to the wheel! When you build a time machine, it just has to be a GMC Deloren and I mean it. The corrupt car manufacturer's ultimate advert for his death trap vehicle, "Back to the Future" was your regular 1980s classic. Well written, entertaining to watch and with a killer soundtrack, it's a film which has managed to survive the test of time. Released midway through one of the most irrelevant decades in history, this Michael J Fox driven piece is great.

Marty meets his parents in the 50's.

When Dr Emmett Brown (played masterfuly by Christopher Lloyd) creates a time machine, he's made his greatest, and most risky invention. Shot for stealing the plutonium power source, Brown's invention undertakes it's first major expedition with young Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox, the man himself) behind the wheel. Travelling back thirty years to the 1950s, Marty finds himself in his home town of Hill Valley and in the company of his lovestruck mother (Lea Thompson) and useless father (Crispin Glover). Destroying their entire relationship, Marty manages to completely screw up his entire future. Still, with no way to get home, and a school bully on the prowl, he's got all the time in the world to fix it.

Bullies were always there.

Perhaps the one set of films that Robert Zemeckis will ever be remembered for, "Back to the Future" and it's two sequels will forever be remembered as an entertaining piece of cinema. From the opening of the film where Fox glides around the fictional town of Hill Valley to the sound of Huey Lewis' "Power of Love", you can tell what decade it is, and yet you continue to watch.

It might be harsh to really slate the 1980s as much as we do, after all, we did get entertaining films like "Ghostbusters", "Ferris Bueller's Day Out" and "The Breakfast Club", but for every one good film, there were so many dire productions. A bit like the current box office climate, you knew that the majority were a disappointing mess, but there would always turn up one rare beauty. "Back to the Future" is one of those.

Like father, like son?

Led by some straight forward but solid performances, the film just has something about it. The witty notion of the hypocritical mother and her secret youth, that one magnificent scene where Michael J Fox performs "Johnny B Goode" at the school prom and Marvin Berry (Harry Waters Jnr) phones his cousin Chuck, all add together to leave you with a huge grin on your face. It's an icon for an age, and for once it makes you grateful for the decade.

Robert Zemeckis has never really found the highs of the "Back to the Future" trilogy (1994's "Forrest Gump" is his only other major success) since the final part was released in 1990. Ultimately though, there are worse positions to be in. A rare joy in an otherwise dire decade, this film and the continuing parts, was an entertaining piece of cinema which left you happy and content. It's perfect afternoon viewing, and the one surprise is that it isn't shown more often.   

Go time machine, Go!

Marty McFly rocks!

Overall an entertaining movie for all sorts of audiences. This movie has it all you could want to have in a movie that defines the word entertaining in the dictionary: Jokes, humor everywhere, an easy to follow plot line, high quality special effects, top charts songs, a DeLorean, the 80's vibe, 50's retro nostalgia and cool actors portraying iconic characters. 

TomBoy

it's not a men's world anymore.

It's 80's teen sex comedy time here at SPAM-Alternative, fasten your seat belt and let's travel back in time up to the year 1985, where we'll find our way with one of the many underrated classics of a bygone era: Tomboy, a movie from the creative minds that brought you Weekend Pass, My Tutor and a personal favorite The Beach Girls. 

The movie follows the story of a girl named Tomasina (played by 80's B movie star Betsy Russell)  who happens to work in a car workshop, spending her life dreaming about becoming a stock car driver to become as famous as her personal idol Mr. Randy Starr. The problem is our lovely Tomasina is not so lovely, in fact she's a brute man's mind hidden deep in a gorgeous woman body. She's a real jock who loves athletics and doesn't give a shit about usual girl things like shopping, making up, buying expensive dresses and of course, looking for the right guy to become the princess who would give away her virginity just because love is in the air with the right setting. Here is where I would say the movie becomes some sort of contradiction. Tomasina is hot as hell, every man would want to shag her even if she's dressed in a greasy overall that smells like car oil all over. On the one hand she'sthe tough guy who doesn't need men in her life but, on the other hand, once she meets her racing idol Randy Starr, things start to get messy, as Tomasina falls in love with Randy, and obviously starts a true love relationship (something that's completely against her tomboy role, isn't it?) Anyways, the movie does deliver what you're looking for: a clichéd depiction of the 80's teen life: Party hard, get nude as much as you can, shag as much as you can, and did I mention party hard? but wait! there's more! Tomasima will have to race his lover boy by the end of the movie in a grand finale.

Tomasina's 80's hairdo.

Wet Tomasina.

"Good morning Dildo"

The plot of the movie is standard 80's stuff, not below the "unbearable" line but, close to it.Tomboy could be a worthless movie  if it wasn't for the substantial glimpses of Betsy Russell’s hot body. However, Tommy, is not just a hot body! She's the best mechanic in town, the best driver in town. And the best racecar designer in town. The only thing she hasn't mastered yet is to convince herself on having a more serious driven relationship with the man of her life, she just can't make it for some reason, that is of course, unitl she meets Mr. Nice guy Randy Starr.

a Nude Shower Scene, a classic.

Teen Tits & Showers do get along.

Tomasina's Boobs.

Tommy has a friend, and that means only one thing: we get to see more boobs, so Tommy and the race car driver start to hump on a regular basis, or at least as often as she’s not catching him watching porn with his buddies, until Randy’s financier challenges the couple to race one another. No time for humping now, we’ve got a race to win.

Overall, a film you don't need to pay much attention to, so I recommend it as the background score to your home party. The names behind this masterpiece are Bud Zelig and Herb Freed. Zelig wrote the screenplay and Herb Freed directed the show. With a screenwriter and director that have no idea what they’re doing, it’s no wonder the final result is amateur stuff, but on the positive side, this movie follows the classic pattern established by many exploitation film makers that did have a certain amount of success. I don't blame them, once you want to see T&A that is your only concern in a movie, and believe me, Tomboy does deliver.

The classic stupid blonde getting naked.

80's Love.

Pool Sex.

Nice "Airbags"

Where can you find this gem? Well, the film was re-relased in 2009 in the "Too Cool for School Collection" 12 movie pack available from Millcreek Entertainment. Here a couple of movie excerpts for your entertainment:

 

Supergirl

Yes, Supergirl had a movie!

Continuing with the comic book story meets  the big screen failed series, we travel in our DeLorean time machine from 1966 to 1984 to meet our way with the one and only heroine flick that had a fair popular response from worldwide audiences looking forward to meet a real supergirl hitting the theaters. Back in the 70's DC Comics had a huge success portraying Wonder Woman's adventures in the T.V. format for about four years, and they had a real Wonder woman playing the lead role: Linda Carter, Miss America, certainly an astonishing godess. However, Wonder Woman faded into obscurity and never made its way into the big screen, but you just knew the DC guys would never quit.

70's superhero movies were quite unsuccesful withe Superman being the only exception, the next natural step to follow was to take Kal El's cousin into a big screen debut that would profit for some more movie adventures. Guess what?  it failed! so the Supergirl movie was a one time adventure, that wasn't that bad, it just didn't have what it took the Superman movies to convice random audiences. 

Kara & her uncle.

Linda Lee.

Supergirl!

1984 was the year of the red S, although Superman III wasn't as good as the first two movies, it had Christopher Reeves in the lead role, and believe me that guy did have something special. a Shame we don't have him around anymore. So, the DC guys sort of decided to look for the female hero du jour: Supergirl. Wonder Woman had her chance back in the 70's and it was time to introduce us to another great comic book character. What the hell Mr. Spam-Alternative? does this movie have something to do with the exploitation genre you yourself call a genre connoisseur? Calm down purist reader! Do I need to remind you of the exploitation of the female comic book characters sex appeal? come on! check any female comic book character and you'll find wearing little or no clothes at all! it is totally exploitation related!

Helen Slater was definitely born to wear the tight Supergirl's suit, she had everything the comic book character had: Blonde hair, blue eyes, innocent look and hell yeah, a supergirl's super hot body, which makes me wonder "when will we ever get to see nude scenes of our favorite heroines?" what are you waiting for movie makers!!! we're grown enough!!

I know, i'm kind of missing my point here, so let's get down to business. Supergirl was filmed in 1984 and was directed by Jeannot Szwarc. The characters, storyline and plot in general are loosely based in the original comic book story, just like any other comic book movie anyways. 

We always find mean characters.

Witch!

Up, Up and Away!

So, the story has it that little Kara Zor-El happens to be the surviving cousin of Kal-El AKA Superman. She and her family managed to escape from the big explosion that destroyed their home planet Krypton. They all built a new place to live, a space city known as Argo. the magic stone that runs the city and keeps it working is a wonderful toy built by Kara's uncle: the Omegahedron. On a random day Kara plays with it and loses it, putting her entire family and Argo city inhabitants in complete danger. To take responsiblity, she decides to go looking for the Omegahedron in a space ship, smartly designed to follow the omegahedron signal wherever it goes in the universe. Obviously the Omegahedron goes straight into our lovely planet earth, and so begins the legend of Supergirl.

Once her feet land on our lovely planet she finds herself playing the role of a dumb student by the alias of Linda Lee, Clark Kent's cousin (she uses his name to sort of fit in as a qualified student) After that action truly begins. Linda Lee falls in love and Supergirl has to save to day from a wicked witch who has found her way to use the Omegahedron powers for her evil deeds.

Superlegs.

All Heroine.

Helen Slater nude, a real supergirl.

Overall, a great movie, it does pay homage to the female genre in all its aspects: Being smart, being sexy, but not porn like ,being brave, and just being a real woman (yes I love women) The special effects are way better than the ones we see in the Superman movies, the soundtrack is quite ok for this kind of movies and yep, the main character is a real supergirl.

Who's meant to watch this flick? open minded comic book lovers, blonde lovers, action films lovers, basically everyone around.

Here's the cool movie trailer: