Diary of the Dead

Zombies, Zombies, Zombies.

George A. Romero is one of those filmmakers who shouldn't need an introduction. If you're a horror fan at all, you should be intimately familiar with his Dead series by now, and if you're a movie fan at all, you should at least know 1968's Night Of The Living Dead and 1978's Dawn Of The Dead, the first and still the strongest entries in the genre. It's no hyperbole to say that Romero essentially invented the zombie movie, gave it the structures and tones that have relentlessly followed the genre through 40 years of movie history.

Diary Of The Dead, Romero's 2007 zombie update and latest entry into the 5-part series, is a return to the form and feel of his original classic Night Of The Living Dead. The three movies in between (the classic Dawn, hit-or-miss Day and severely underrated Land) showed a world consumed by destruction and fear, already well past the point of no return in an unthinkable apocalypse. Diary takes us back to the beginning, taking place during the first few days of the attacks, documenting how a group of college students (and one drunken professor) cope with the crisis growing around them.

There will be trouble.

Kill me, but please don't spoil the shooting!

The hook of the movie is that what we're seeing is not presented in a typical film fashion, but instead as a series of homemade video clips made by the characters themselves. While shooting their own low-budget horror movie, the students are interrupted by the sudden, jarring realization that freshly dead bodies are coming back to life and attacking people. What follows is a documentation of their quick departure from their suddenly deserted campus and their long trip to home, safety and any sort of an answer.

If the plot description has you thinking of The Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield, the comparison ends with the initial conceit of horror via home movies. There's no shaky-cam addled suspense here, and you won't ever feel motion sick. The camera's presence in the movie serves to give a heightened feeling of suspense and immediacy. Unlike most other zombie movies, there's no outside camera telling the story, letting us know where the zombies are and when they're coming. We follow the characters through the movie, and the threat of danger is always palpable, even when nothing on screen is particularly frightening. Hitchcock once said that surprise was a bomb going off under a table unexpectedly, while suspense was letting the audience know there is a bomb under the table while the characters remain unaware. Diary is a movie with thousands of bombs waiting under thousands of tables, waiting to explode every time the camera turns a new corner.

After Land Of The Dead, a great movie that felt buried beneath a huge budget and massive studio interference, it's great to see Romero returning to his indie roots. Diary is entirely his own movie, and he gets the tone perfect. The campy scares and the gross-out gore explosions are all present, and will delight fan boys to no end. (They sure got some big laughs out of me.) But what Romero does best is suddenly switch from fun to disturbing when you least expect it. The best moments of Diary come when the gory thrill ride comes screeching to a halt and everything suddenly becomes all too relatable, entirely too real. These are the moments that will stick with you after the gory brain-splatter effects have lost their novelty.

Not without a fight, asshole!

If you got me nude like this you should at least diddle my skiddle before killing me you moron!

Shit!

Diary isn't quite a perfect movie though. Occasionally the hand-held camera device becomes too distracting and begins to get in the way of the story. The movie takes too much time rationalizing why the characters decide to film the events, rather than trusting the audience to go along with the idea. At times it feels like the movie is apologizing for its own concept, which it definitely does not need to do. We don't need to know the details of why the movie is edited, or why music has been added. The explanations slow down the movie, and only highlight problems instead of fixing them. Also, the pace slows down quite a bit in the third act, which is when Romero movies usually jolt up to a fevered pitch. Stick it out though, because the movie's last sequence, and especially its last line of dialog, are worth the price of admission alone. This is most likely not the end of the Dead saga, but if it were, it could not have come to a more perfect conclusion than the jarring, horrific last shot Romero gives us. 

Here's the movie trailer:

Night of the Living Dead 3D

Get ready to feel the power of my 3D shovel.

Although I am a huge George A. Romero and horror fan, I saw this movie pretty impulsively and without giving it much thought. In fact at first look I thought this was the original 1968 Night of the Living Dead, but with the added 3D technology, ahahha, such an ass! As soon as I watched the trailer I knew it was a remake and thought that it looked like your typical direct to video, shot on video, low budget whatever movie and left it at that. The fact that it had Sid Haig in it, or that it was 3D, were if anything just deterrents. I had no idea it was theatrical, though.You know I'm not necessarily opposed to remakes as savagely as many other horror fans are, although some remakes scare the hell out of you, but not because they're good! on the contrary they fail miserably trying to pull off a sustainable 90 minutes story. Anyways, I think I'm kind of neutral when it comes to remakes, you know the eye of the beholder shit explains it quite good.

that said, Night of the Living Dead 3D is a competent enough and, thankfully, relatively straight horror film that I personally thought was enjoyable. this is a quiet, reserved zombie movie vs a balls to the walls gorefest or whatever that many people might expect going in, but don't let that deter you - if anything, it just means the filmmakers are more interested in characters, story and atmosphere than wasting time on the usual cinema overused clichés. I wish it had more nudity & sex though, you know, to grant you the full B movie experience you are required to add some cheap shots to your movie.

You should see a doctor mum, you don't look well.

I shoulda gone to the dentist!

Your hands are the hands of a wanker!

If you look for reviews about this film, you will find a lot of other people having cited the acting and dialogue in the film as terrible, but I think everyone did a fair job in their roles and the writing of the characters and storytelling is completely respectable. I can't say any of the actors are real standouts, but I sympathized with the characters and cared about what was going on. Sid Haig does the typical Sid Haig thing which I find borders on self parody a little bit too much, but I thought his "zombie explanation monologue" was awesome.

I thought the zombies and makeup effects were top notch - more of the return of the living dead/EC comics style zombie look than the more modern, KNB effects version, which I personally think looks hokey. to clarify, these zombies do not run! they lumber around and groan and moan and are pretty classy numbers. I liked the overall dark look of the film - everything is cold and dark and desaturated, and there's always plenty of fog rolling around everywhere. what else do you want? bats? I guess they could have thrown some in there.

Fucked up zombies are coming, and they'll find me ready!

I don't like gangbang, I'm no a fag you scum!

I think the sun got onto me.

the 3D in the movie is, ironically enough, the films weakest link. there's just no reason for it. the filmmakers try their best to include some 3D gags, but you can tell its mostly just going through the motions and to satisfy the title. The 3D thing has now become a standard in film making and though, the red and blue 3D technology is outdated, the new 3D will not last long cause it's just overrated. The film had its release on both the standard 2D format and the 3D fever format. I prefer the 2D over the 3D, and I tell you why: All of a sudden film makers are set to make everything in 3D, I say, what for? is it really necesary? I don't think so unless you're James Cameron's Avatar.

a Good old' fuck in the barnyard.

She was hired for this.

After a good fuck, it's time to get the hell out.

Brianna Brown, the lead role. Oh god!

in conclusion, check Night of the Living Dead 3D out, but without any expectations, and stop being so damn cynical too! it's clear these guys were just trying to homage one of their favorite horror movies and make something the fans would enjoy. the movie doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it's solid enough and worth a gander. Now, if you want to find a gore fest, this movie will probably dissapoint as there are thousands of slasher/gore fest films that paint everything red. If you wanna watch nasty zombies, look for Porn of the Dead, a parody that is far from giving a boner, unless you're a complete pervert.

So, that's it for today, be sure to continue visiting my blog, even if you don't read my reviews and just come here for the nude scenes pictures you still kind of make my day.

Here's the movie trailer:

Dawn of the Dead

A true classic.

Continuing with real movies, we move into the world of the great George A. Romero, master of horror films. If your pussy gets wet watching The Walking Dead, then the masterful classic about zombies I'm about to review will make you cum like mad. "Dawn of the Dead" is only disguised as a zombie gore flick, because some have stated the film is really about three things. 1. A cultural statement portraying racism, angst, counter-culture and degradation. 2. An account of human bonding and human reaction to different environments, harsh and eclectic. 3. Least of this trio, it is a black comedy. Rather, it contains dark comedic elements.

Somewhere early along in the film, I looked past the initial plot of four strangers hiding in a mall from hordes of zombies swarming the world, as the government attempts to find a solution to the chaotic massacres. Peter Washington (Ken Foree) is the strong, black, courageous SWAT team member who rises above the other three protagonists to become their leader. Steven Andrews (David Emge) is the somewhat timid and hesitant traffic reporter, lover of the pregnant Francine (Gaylen Ross). Ostensibly hapless and useless, Francine is actually a valuable aide to the quartet. Last, is the resourceful and daring Roger (Scott H. Reiniger).

From where I left off, I overlooked the premise of the quartet defending themselves from hordes of flesh-eating monsters and instead saw thoroughly fleshed out character personalities, bonds, and interactions. Throughout the movie's length, we learn to genuinely love these guys; Roger is so smooth and fun, easily likeable, Peter is quiet, warm-spirited, and reliable, Steven and Francine are charming. We know them like our friends and heroes, so when they are attacked by the ferocious zombies, the suspense is so nerve-wracking and our hearts beat so rapidly because we really care about the four protagonists and could not bear to watch them die. They started off as strangers and parted as companions. Also, it is very interesting to watch how they monopolized the mall, how, in the beginning, they slept on cold hallway floors, constantly keeping watch. Later, they eliminated the threat, dined in the mall's fancy restaurant, ice skated on the mall's link, visited the gun shop for weapons, slept in rooms with beds, dressers, televisions, and other luxuries. This is an accurate representation of how it is human nature to manipulate and survive through alien atmospheres. I found that vision ingenious.

Living the mallrats life has never been so dangerous.

Hugs!

Also known as Zombie.

Another brilliant message the film brings attention to regards the 1970-decade. I found that like "Pulp Fiction," "Dawn of the Dead" captures the spirit of its era. The racism, tumult, riots, counter-culture, degradation are all well represented here. The film shows SWAT teams, complete with racist officers, who kill for fun, raiding an unruly group of Hispanics and Blacks, hillbillies heading out in troops to battle zombies for sport, mercenaries and vigilantes running wild, all events indistinguishable from incidents in the 70's. Perhaps the most disturbing and ironic "70's incident" in the movie involves raiding gangs of bikers who explode into the mall, mirthfully slaughtering zombies (not that that is an offense) and vandalizing stores, stealing jewelry, guns, clothes, and everything they can find; whereas our heroes took only their necessities. What happens next is very scathingly satirical and ironic. In between the battle for the survival of the human species, the bikers find it necessary to start their own little civil war amongst the not-so-numerous survivors. They hunt down both zombies and our good guys; a perfectly timed paradoxical and cynical scene. Just like the battles between non-conformists and conventionalists during the 1970's and 1960's, when America was on the brink of disaster, this cinematic revolution is hard-hitting, gut wrenching, and very real. One fascinating facet of the movie is how the audience learns to disregard the now "minor" threat of the slow-moving zombies (a bullet or incision to the head will do the job). At this point, one would not even notice that this film had the slightest relevance to the horror genre. Instead, we fear the vicious bikers, a bigger threat, villains with swords and guns. This time, the suspense and uneasiness detonates, for there is a much greater chance of death for the heroes. I found the scariest part of the movie was the deterioration of the planet during the zombie apocalypse; how the human species' decline is morbidly presented effectively and expertly by George A. Romano.

I'm gonna be sick.

I need to consume, I need to consume!!!

However, a refreshing sense of black humor is tossed in towards the middle of the film. Zombies attempt to walk up escalators, ice skate, and explore their surroundings, with chuckles as the result of their clumsiness. One biting laugh comes when Steven explains to Francine why all these creatures have returned to the mall. "Instinct, memory. This was an important place in their lives," he points out.

And of course, there are many, many thrills and chills. This film isn't very "jump-out-from-the dark-with-a-chainsaw" scary, but more disturbing and extremely tense, because we actually care about our characters and don't want them to die. The movie is unpredictable in this aspect, unlike slashers where you are guessing who the one survivor is and how the others die. As the zombies close in, we plead, "Don't die, don't die!"

We're coming for you.

Am I bleeding?

I'm so sad, I couldn't get the new iPad 3.

I have only one minor complaint with this film. The movie seems to carry on forever, as if the action scenes were shown in slow motion and in very limited quantities. Despite the brilliance I felt enraptured with, I kept asking myself, "When will this movie end?!?" However, I realize that Romano could not have trimmed any more scenes without damaging the potency of his work.

Aside from that single aspect, I strongly encourage you, rather you HAVE to, watch "Dawn of the Dead." Thrilling and suspenseful thanks to extremely distinct characters, whose fate you hope a happy one, and grippingly socially relevant, this is a unique horror, or really of all genres, treasure. The special effects are of course dated if compared to today's standards, but they don't look crappy at all, just don't expect the overrated CGI effects some film makers love to use and abuse. One final piece of advice: Look the Blu-Ray edition of the movie.

Here's the cool movie trailer: