Transformers 4, Age of Extinction

Don't go to the theater to watch this crap.

OK, so Mr. Michael Bay returns to the world of the highly profitable Transformers, how good is this? The answer obvious to many, doubtful to some depends on how old are you and how much you like the work of Bay himself. First, these movies were not made for 80's nostalgia lovers, these were merely made to allow Hasbro to sell their toys to newer generations of kids (well, adult collectors too) thus allowing the marketplace to grow and foster the development of further Transformers products. Inevitably, the original Transformers fans (count me in G1 lovers!) would be turned against their will to go straight to the theaters to cure the cravings for seeing a dream come true: Live action Transforming Transformers!

Years went by and after two rather acceptable movies and a disappointing third installment the unexpected happened: Another sequel!

Transformers: Age of Extinction is a disaster. I was thrilled to get the chance to see it before most of the world (an online copy leaked, I wouldn't waste a nickel on a ticket for a Michael Bay flick) but ended up being thoroughly disappointed. The movie is 165 minutes of incoherent nonsense and if you thought that's what the previous movies were, well, you might start appreciating them after seeing this.

Oh my god! G1 Optimus Prime!

...And, it's gone!

First of all, it has that god awful Michael Bay humor that we saw in the previous movies. It's not funny at all and there is so much of it so often it makes you cringe. It's like watching a senile old man running naked on the street. It's sad and it makes you feel uncomfortable.

But that stuff was there before as well. What I loved about the Transformers movies, or what anyone loves about them, was watching the robots transform and fight. The previous movies had memorable moments. I still remember the scene from the first movie where Ironhide jumps up and shoots missiles mid-air in slow motion as the woman is screaming below, and Starscream jumping and transforming mid-air and flying off, Sideways getting sliced in half by Sideswipe, Scorponok rising from the ground, and the brief scenes with Demolisher and Devastator in the second movie and finally the Shockwave sequences and that time Bumblebee transforms with Shia LaBeouf (terrible actor) still in the car from the third movie.

But nothing of that sort happens in this movie. Other than Optimus Prime and Bumblebee, there are three other Autobots in the movie, all of whom are new. They try to come across as interesting but you don't really give a damn about them. Bumblebee is so seldomly seen on screen you forget he's even there in the movie. And Optimus Prime goes through his usual routine of getting his ass thoroughly kicked in the first half of the movie, only to rise again later, something which has been a common theme of previous movies. This is why I don't feel particularly strongly about the movie version of Prime because he fails so often and so hard in combat it's difficult to take him seriously as a leader.

Useless human beings with great surviving skills.

Fake Steve Jobs and her Chinese associate.

There are plenty of action sequences in the movie but the first half has about 10% of them. And considering the first half is about 90 minutes long it means you are treated to a lot of talking and other stuff that is either plain stupid or just boring. When shit does start hitting the fan later, it's just a bloody mess, with so much happening at once that you don't care about anything and none of it is particularly cool or memorable. There is also the nausea-inducing shaky camera technique being thoroughly abused here, which actually makes it hard to see what's going on because everything is shaking so god damned much all the time. Except when there is a product placement going on, then the camera is absolutely still so you can see the brand name clearly.

The only redeeming aspects of this movie are the exceptional CGI with some stunning 3D and the incredible sound. The movie looks and sounds fantastic and if you do make the mistake of watching it, do it in IMAX like I did because otherwise there will be nothing there to enjoy. (This film does have the highest amount of IMAX footage I've seen in any movie, with practically half the movie being in IMAX. However, I did not like the way it constantly keeps jumping between IMAX and non-IMAX footage between every other scene. This probably won't bother you as much as it bothered me and if you watch it in a regular theater then you won't see it at all.)

Retro Bumblebee.

Transformed Bumblebee.

OK but, what is there anything new on this film?

Transformers, Age of Extinction is about the same plot that we watched in the previous films, so the answer is a thunderous smashing NO! If you think I'm being too hard on the film, please check the following list I made while watching it:

1. There is a random family story of a group of human beings that will randomly become entangled with the transformers (we saw that already in the previous 3 movies!)

2. There is a secret agency plotting to destroy or at least control the Transformers (yep, it happened three times already)

3. There is a powerful business corporation trying to profit out of the Transformers technology (it happened already on Transformers Dark of the Moon)

4. The Transformers have been long enough with us on earth. Even before us.(it happened already on Transformers 2 & 3)

5. There is a conspiracy involving the government, secret agencies, powerful business men and aliens AKA Transformers (fuck! it fucking happened already for god's sake Michael Bay!)

6. Megatron must be fucking immortal! (he's been killed three times already and he keeps coming back!)

7. The presence of a sexy looking girl who adds nothing to the plot (my god!)

Yeah, Even I don't know why I'm on this movie.

Nicola Peltz in the flesh.

Alright, I admit it, there are a few new things and I also made a list:

1. The military are nowhere to be seen on this film. Not even when the robots are fucking blowing sky high a city. Perhaps, they quit their jobs and move on to some more interesting activities like crocheting with grandma. 

2. None of the original cast from the previous movies are here. Not even a cameo.

3. Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and Megatron transform into new cars/trucks so that you can get the new toy (they transform into old vehicles and then newer vehicles, so you have to buy them both, what are you waiting for! go now!)

4. The Dinobots! (why the fuck weren't they summoned in earlier films?) Get those toys boy!

The latest internet meme is here!

Overall, Transformers: Age of Extinction is a horrible mess of a movie and a complete waste of time and money. The previous Transformers movies were a guilty pleasure and scratched a very specific itch for a very specific audience but this one doesn't even do that while inheriting all the flaws of its predecessors. It takes a special kind of idiot to mess up something so simple but Michael Bay does it with aplomb. Hopefully, the title "Age of Extinction", will lead to Bay quitting film making. I for one, got my fingers crossed...

Here's the movie trailer:

Diecast Fever 2

Truth be told.

Continuing with the recently added categories to your humble servant's blog I return to the diecast fever section. A few days ago I told you I only liked muscle cars, AKA mopar so, most of the entries will have to do with such category alone. It just so happened that a week ago I found this amazing Hot Wheels 5 car pack with MOPAR/Muscle cars with the characteristic of being "toon" versions of each car, or "Super deformed" as the japanese like to call it. The pack consists of a 1970 Dodge Charger Daytona, a 69' Pontiac GTO, a 63' Corvette, a 69' Camaro and a 69' Mustang GTO. 

I remember some time ago, some dude at a toy store suggested me to buy Maisto cars instead of Hot Wheels, cause the later ones were deformed version of cars. Little did he know about cars, cause Hot Wheels has several categories of cars, and to my belief, kids prefer this futuristic/animalistic/sci-fi line of cars Hot Wheels has been delivering for agers. However, Hot Wheels & Matchbox are my brands of choice, simply because they were part of my childhood. Majorette, Maisto and Tomica were a part of my childhood too, but my eyes always pointed into the racks where I could find Hot Wheels & Matchbox cars. So, this salesman was trying to pull horrible hip-hop-like pimped cars, and I didn't wanted to be rude and tell him "fuck your suggestion, I'm a rocker, I can't stand pimped cars, Mckay?"

Anyways, I didn't buy any cars that day, although I have returned to the same toy store to by 1:24 Welly cars, they rock.

Let the pictures do the talking:

Nice engine.

How could a driver have clear visibility with such a monster engine!

Monster Mustang.

at first I thought this was a Challenger, but it was a Camaro.

The ruler of my life, 69' Pontiac GTO, The Judge.

Also on my unintended diecast search I came across two "Fresh Paint" series, made by Maisto. So what? you might ask. Well, these Fresh Paint cars are those that change their color when drowned in warm water, and yeah, change color back when drowned in cold water. This was a superb cooll characteristic that appeared in the late 80's. Kids went crazy with these cars, and so did I. So, as a way to pay homage to my past I bought these two cars.

The Vantasy.

The Slayer.

And that's it for today in the world of the stupid nerd 40 years old virgin geek section of this humble blog. Next time more cult movies & gals.

Diecast Fever 1.5

The most popular car of all times!

Just a minor update entry on the new Diecast category. My favorite car of all times, the Dodge Charger R/T 1969, AKA  General Lee.

These pictures were taken in 2006, and this car was a gift from my then girlfriend, now wife. The car had to be built as it was a construction kit, although it wasn't hard to put its parts together I have to acknowledge my wife's support on the little details the car had.

The car was manufactured in 2003 as a part of the "Racing Champions" series designed and manufactured by Jada Toys. However, this isn't one of the most accurate renditions of the General Lee but it is still a very good diecast car. 1:18 scale, full metal chasis, scale engine, rubber tires (front wheels actually turn right and left) and excellent painting make this toy a great toy despite some minor differences with the original car.

General's mighty engine.

General's back.

The original General Lee's interior was brown leather.

What does Wikipedia has to say about the General Lee?

"The General Lee is the modified Dodge Charger driven by the Duke cousins Bo and Luke in the television series The Dukes of Hazzard. It is known for the chases and stunts, especially high jumps, in almost every episode, and for having the doors welded shut, leaving the Dukes to climb in and out through the windows. The car appears in every episode but one ("Mary Kaye's Baby"). 

The car's name is a reference to the Confederate General Robert E. Lee, and indeed the vehicle embodies the Southern United States, bearing as it does a Confederate naval jack on its roof and a horn which plays the melody from the first line of the song "Dixie".

The idea for the General Lee was developed from the famous bootlegger Jerry Rushing's car, which was named for Lee's favorite horse, Traveller. Traveller was also the name of the car in Moonrunners, the 1975 movie precursor to The Dukes of Hazzard"

Yeehaw!!!!!

No underwear!

 Here a cool video about the 1969 charger racing the 2011 Charger:

Diecast Fever 1

Ain't it cool?

Today I'll add a brand new category into Spam-Alternative: My personal diecast cars collection. I have all sizes, 1:64, 1:24 and 1:18 from the most important diecast brands of all times: Hot Wheels, Matchbox, Welly, Maisto, Tomica, Jada, etc. However, my collection is very much like the movies depicted in this blog: Vintage cars only, so you won't find any sort of Need for Speed/Gangsta type of car in any of the forthcoming entries. 

Today's car is a 1:18 scale Welly rendition of the great 1967 Pontiac GTO. A car whose original features were long imitated by several popular muscle cars from the same era. 

Welly specializes in delivering highly detailed rendition of its cars.

Great look!

See? I told you it was highly detailed.

Here some more in depth information about the car, courtesy of Wikipedia: 

"The GTO underwent a few styling changes in 1967. The louver-covered tail lights were replaced with eight tail lights, four on each side. Rally II wheels with colored lug nuts were also available in 1967. The GTO emblems located on the rear part of the fenders were moved to the chrome rocker panels. Also the grill was changed from a purely split grill, to one that shared some chrome.

The 1967 GTO came in three body styles:

• Hardtop - 65,176 produced
• Convertible - 9,517 produced
• Sports Coupe - 7,029 produced

The GTO also saw several mechanical changes in 1967. The Tri-Power carburetion system was replaced with a Rochester Quadrajet four-barrel carburetor. The 389 engine received a wider cylinder bore (4.12 inches, 104.7 mm) for a total displacement of 400 CID (6.6 L) V8. The 400 cubic inch engine was available in three models: economy, standard, and high output. The economy engine used a two-barrel carburetor rather than the Rochester Quadrajet and produced 255 bhp (190 kW) at 4400 rpm, and 397 ft·lbf (538 N·m) at 4400 rpm. The standard engine produced 335 bhp (250 kW) at 5000 rpm, and the highest torque of the three engines at 441 ft·lbf (598 N·m) at 3400 rpm. The high output engine produced the most power for that year at 360 bhp (270 kW) at 5100 rpm, and produced 438 ft·lbf (594 N·m) at 3600 rpm. Emission controls were fitted in GTOs sold in California.

1967 also saw the installation of significant safety equipment as required by federal law. A new energy-absorbing steering column was accompanied by an energy-absorbing steering wheel, padded instrument panel, non-protruding control knobs, and four-way emergency flashers.

The two-speed automatic transmission was also replaced with a three-speed Turbo-Hydramatic TH-400. The TH-400 was equipped with a Hurst Performance Dual-Gate shifter, called a "his/hers" shifter, that permitted either automatic shifting in "Drive" or manual selection through the gears. Front disc brakes were also an option in 1967.^[7]

GTO sales for 1967 remained high at 81,722."

 I, being a poor loser who can't afford a shit. Spend some very limited bucks collecting this kind of cars, muscle cars, mopar cars.

Welly diecast, remember their name.

Next time I'll show my personal favorite muscle car of all times: the Pontiac 1969 GTO, and please don't worry about the movie reviews, that's the main topic of this blog so I won't forget it, it's just that I want to expand the blog categories to some hobbies I also dig, like diecast muscle cars, action figures and other collectibles. Stay tuned!

PS: The pictures from the car were all taken by myself from my personal collection.

And as a bonus a little video displaying the original Pontiac GTO 1967: