The Road to the Dark Knight Rises

Begin, fall, rise!

Yes, I know the film isn't out yet,  but with all my comic book wisdom I'll make my predictions on the highly anticipated blockbuster of the year The Dark Knight Rises. I never told you guys Batman is my favorite comic book character of all times, as I never told you I freaking love the Christopher Nolan take on this legendary character, so today we'll play the foretelling game and after the  movie is out we'll correct our predictions if necesary.

Comic Book Facts.

All the non Batman connoiusseurs are for sure thinking The Dark Knight (2008) was the best movie out of  Nolan's trilogy just because they know the Joker is perhaps the most popular enemy Batman has, however that doesn't mean a shit in Batman's actual comic book universe, let's go straight to facts.

Knightfall's climax.

Christopher Nolan based is third Batsy instalment on the "Knightfall" comic book, released in 1993 and continued on the "Knightquest" & "Knightsend" sagas. The story takes place over approximately six months. Bruce Wayne (Batman) suffers burnout and is systematically assaulted and crippled by a "super steroid"-enhanced genius named Bane. Wayne is replaced as Batman by an apprentice named Jean-Paul Valley, who becomes increasingly violent and unstable, tarnishing Batman's reputation. Eventually, Wayne is healed through paranormal means (the Lazarus pit owned by Ra's Al Ghul) , and reclaims his role as Batman.

"Knightfall" resulted in long-term ramifications for the Batman mythos, as Batman's trust from the police, public, and fellow superheroes had to be rebuilt. Additionally, Wayne realizes the peril and burden of attempting to work in solitude, leading to the eventual creation of the modern incarnation of the Batman family. The events of Knightfall also led to the resignation of Wayne's loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth.

Bane V/S Batman.

The entire "Knightfall" storyline took over a year to complete in the comic book serials, and in later years, the comics were compressed into a series of trade paperbacks, although these paperbacks did not include the "Knightquest" portion of the story until they were republished in 2012.The stores were all written by Dennis O'neil, Chuck Nixon, Doug Moench and Alan Grant. 

Catwoman often teams up with Batman in the comic books, and has an affair with Batman. Will she become the woman of Nolan's Bruce Wayne?

Miranda Tate could be the secret identity of Thalia Al Ghul, daughter of legendary master of the league of shadows Mr. Ra's Al Ghul (thought to be dead since Batman Begins) In the comic book she kinds of wants to get married with Bruce Wayne because he's the Batman and a richman too. The original storyline tells us Talia Al Ghul is used as a bate by Ra's Al Ghul who wants to see her daughter married with a man capable of rescuing her and eventually defeating him. Will we see something like that?

Miranda Tate gets naked to destroy Bruce Wayne.

At the beginning of the Knightfall saga, Bane breaks into Arkham Asylum releasing the most dangerous criminals, so that Batman, completely exhausted, becomes an easy target, you know, "easy peasy, lemon squeezy" It is important to point out that Bane does not actually lead all the criminals into destroying Batman. He prefers to let them do their thing and once they're all done, he enters the game. Considering the trailers we've been, that is going to be different, he will have the lead, and that is quite obvious since there will be no extra famous rogues from Batman's neverending gallery of rogues, so Bane will have no one to face for the battle of the egos.

Catwoman.

Christopher Nolan's Batman Facts  

Ra's Al Ghul is thought to be dead since the events in Batman Begins (2005) but, in the scene where he knows he can't escape the runaway train, he sits in a sort of meditation position, will that mean he used an unknown means of escape/rescue? Now, We kind of know for sure that we'll see him in the film either as flashbacks or new interventions. Perhaps Bruce Wayne will remember him telling him about the Lazarus Pit, perhaps.

Batman is seeing blaming himself for the death of Harvey Dent and that leads Gotham city forces, lead by comissioner Gordon to start a desperate hunt for Batman, and it is now known that the events of the Dark Knight Rises take place 8 years after he finishes the Joker & Two Face. As Bruce Wayne knows nobody has a clue about him being Batman, I think he just quits the hero game and goes on with the regular rich man's life, meaning he's not well trained as he used to be, so Bane can kick his ass good with ease. 

Why do we fall master Wayne?

Nolan's Batman fortunately works alone, there are no Robins and there will be no Robins in the forthcoming film (unless that is one of the secrets of the films of course) but there is speculation about the John Blake character. Some say John Blake either is going to replace Bruce Wayne as Batman, or he's not actually called John Blake and could be Richard Grayson or Jean Paul Valley. I'd like to think he'll be just a good cop and that Bruce Wayne will be the one and only Batman we'll see in the film. Besides the toyline has already been released and there are no other Batman figures rather than Bruce Wayne Batman. 

Miranda Tate could actually be Thalia Al Ghul, and if that's the case she will probably seek revenge after Batman killed his daddy. It is possible that she will turn Wayne enterprises into dust, while maybe Bane, would give her a hand with Batman.

Rise!

Lucious Fox will help Bruce Wayne returning to his dark knight role, as he's seen in the trailers displaying new amazing bat gadgets. Some say he will be killed in the film, I don't know.

Comissioner Gordon will find out Bruce is actually Batman and will ask him to become Batman once more. 

 

Alfred Pennyworth will not bury any more Wayne family members, as utters in a trailer, in fact I think he will be the most relevant character helping Bruce Wayne recover from battle wounds to eventually "rise" as Batman and become the hero Gotham city deserves. Besides, Alfred's Batman Begins line "Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up." makes plenty of sense and let's remember that Alfred is quoting Thomas Wayne's original saying when he tells it to Bruce.

Check my cool Bat iPad.

You know Bruce, I'm an expensive escort.

Shit, not jail again.

The reasons behind why Catwoman will team up with Batman remain unknown to me, but the team up is going to happen as we've seen it in the trailers.

It is said Bruce Wayne will spent the entire first hour of the film on a wheelchair. If Nolan wants to stay true to the Knightfall comic book, that might actually happen, although I don't think we'll see Jean Paul Valley's Batman.

Considering Batman is a legendary character, Nolan will probably not mess with Batman's reputation, meaning Batman won't die like many think, how can you kill Batman if he hasn't even been killed in the original comic books? Also, if that was the case, if Batman had to die I believe audiences will leave theaters in terrible pain & dissapointment. What Nolan's Batman lacks is peace, he needs to be accepted as a hero, he needs to be fully trusted by the people of Gotham city, he needs to become the clichéd hero stereotype, cause afther The Dark Knight he was more like an underground vigilante that became the very menace he swore to destroy.

Yes, I'm Batman's real worst nightmare.

what else is cooking? oh, yeah the reasons why Selina Kyle becomes Catwoman. If she's a true to the comic book character, she will have to be some kind of environmental activist looking forward to destroy those who poison mother nature and kill our animals. If not, she might just be some kind of Robin Hood thief or who knows if she was inspired by Batman to become a vigilante herself?

Bane origins will also have to be true to the comic book, so we'll see him transform into a super criminal thanks to the special syrup he's constantly absorbing through his veins. Now the question is where does the syrup comes from? was it made by some member of the league of shadows? is it some sort of poison tested on animals with awful results? (yes, the Catwoman origin story could be connected to this)

Will Ann Hathaway be this nude Catwoman?

Arkham Asylum, now more popular thanks to the amazing videogame saga, will also be seen just like it was in the Knightfall comic book. Bane will release every single criminal from the Asylum to get Batman's attention and to eventually weaken him and break him good.

Ok, enough predictions for today, I'm friggin' willing to go to the thaters, just like I know all of you are. go Batman go!!!

Here's the movie trailer:

And an exclusive 13 minute behind the scenes featurette to keep your bat cravings level down:

Batman & Robin

the death of the franchise.

When everyone heard about Bane being in Batman Forever's sequel, we all lost our minds thinking the film would be about the great "Knightfall" comic saga,  but nope, Joel Schumacher has a way reminding us how bad his movies can get. Don't get me wrong, the old Adam West Batman TV show was certainly funny, and given the times, a more accurate representation of what Batman was trying to be wouldn't have succeeded nearly as well. But the show still betrayed all the emotion and grimness of Batman's themes.

In Batman & Robin, Schumacher seems to be getting back to those roots. He treats the entire Batman franchise like a joke. Even if it was funny, this would be betraying the name of Batman. But here, seeing as it's NOT funny, it only succeeds in becoming the worst of the Batman movies, and, arguably, the worst films ever created.

Thank God Christopher Nolan will restore Bane's reputation.

Mr Freeze & Poison Ivy.

George Clooney just plays George Clooney. Which is the road he usually takes, but this suave, dashing, and charming Batman seems more like Mystery Men's Captain Amazing than the crimefighter of legend.

There's Chris O'Donnell, the angst-ridden Robin trying to break out of Batman's shadow. The only thing he ever really does is act like a child.

Alicia Silverstone. Wow. I seriously wonder what makes someone say, "Hmm, who should we get to play Batgirl . . . I know! Alicia Silverstone!" No offense to Alicia, but she's out in right field on this one. Her tough-girl performance is sprinkled with reminders of her Clueless days. But all that aside, she actually does very little.

The dynamic duo like you (never) wanted to see them before.

Batgirl. Really?

Now, onto the villains. Uma Thurman, who we know CAN act, is hamming it up to ridiculous proportions. First, when she's playing the nerdy Dr. Pamela, she exaggerates that to a level I thought impossible. And then she inexplicably turns into an extremely sexualized villainess whose plan, by the way, would kill all the plants she advocated protecting.

Arnold seems like the worst possible choice for Mr. Freeze. I mean, of all the Batman villains I could see him playing - Bane, for christ's sake - Mr. Freeze is not on that list. He possesses none of the emotionless, calculated, and cold (no pun intended) sociopathy which makes Mr. Freeze such a good character.


In case you're about to puke because of this awful movie, I give a refreshing bonus of sexy cosplayers portraying what we would like to see in a future Batman release. Enter sexy bombshell Poison Ivy, and Batgirl dressed up in a very interesting armour.

How about this nude Poison Ivy?

Nice twat Poison Ivy!

Batgirl ready for some shagging.

And then, all that aside, they're handed ridiculous catch phrases and cliches they're expected to say with any level of sincerity? At one point Mr. Freeze says "chill out." Of all the ways it sounds, menacing is not among them.

Seriously, I'd have more respect for Schumacher if I discovered that he hated Batman, and had intentionally ruined it with this garbage. Then, this might actually be just his own personal joke. Instead, it borders on a travesty of good cinema. I only wish that 0 stars was a selectable option at the imdb, for this film ALONE. 


Now, to be fair with the film production there is actually one good thing about Batman & Robin: Special effects & action sequences. The scenes that feature special effects look quite convincing and don't look dated at all. The action  coreographies are also very well done. Unfortunately, Batman & Robin isn't a videogame, so that's not enough to say that Joel Schumacher did a fair job with Batsy. Besides, why did Schumacher add nipples to the batsuit & robin suit? why didn't he add nipples to batgirl's suit? or even better why didn't he add a red hair bush to Poison Ivy?

Here's the movie trailer:

Batman Forever

Batman is forever.

They say Joel Schumacher buried six feet under the promising Batman franchise Tim Burton has started in 1989, and expanded in 1992. After the huge success both movies gave Burton, he decided to move on, and to work in something different, something with less hype around it. However, Burton did agree to work as a producer in part three. Originally, Michael Keaton would continue to reprise his Bruce Wayne/Batman role, bu as soon as he learned Burton wasn't directing he decided to call it quits because he didn't like the direction Joel Schumacher wanted to take with the Batman franchise. From the original cast, only Michael Gough (Alfred Pennyworth) and Pat Hingle (comissioner Gordon) continued working on their original roles. In fact, they would be the only actors that would participate in the 1989-1998 Batman franchise. 

I'm Batman!

Original drafts for the movie suggest that the only foe Batman would face would be The Riddler, because Two-Face was originally intended to show up by the very end of Batman Returns (in a scene where Catwoman would kiss him and burn half of his body, while holding her hands to an electric wire) Billie Dee Williams (yes, the original 1989 Batman's Harvey Dent) had a special contract that would grant him to return to a Batman movie playing Harvey Dent/Two Face. Of course, none of that happened and Tommy Lee Jones became Two Face (Warner Bros, had to negotiate with Billie Dee Williams to do so) 

Two Face is a pimp!

So, Batman Forever, is the third instalment in the Batman franchise and the first one directed by Joel Schumacher. Released in 1995, the film added new villains, a whole new Gotham City look (more like a cyber punk pop art kind of architecture) and introduced us to Batman's sidekick Robin.  At first, the mere idea of listening to such new elements would seem like we're about to watch a great Batman film, however, Schumacher knows for sure, how to dismantle a good franchise. Batman Forever neither is a bad movie nor is a masterpiece movie (although I really liked it) Out of the two Batman movies Schumacher directed, definitely Batman Forever is the one to look for.

This babe here, will take you to the summer of love baby!

Personally, I just enjoyed the first Batman the best, I think a lot of us did. But that doesn't mean this was a bad installment to the "Batman" series, it's actually very decent worth more than one look. We do have a new but every exceptional Batman, Val Kilmer, who has a tough role to fit into after the great performances Michael Keaton brought. Nicole Kidman plays Chase, a beautiful and intelligent scientist who has the hots for Batman more than Bruce, she does a great job and looks so sexy! Jim Carrey, the master of comedy, takes the role of The Riddler, only he can bring the true comic relief and was a great choice. Tommy Lee Jones, as Two Face, was also great and so believable as a scary villain. Last but not least, Chris O'donnell as the wimsical, but more serious than anything version of Robin. The dynamic duo are finally put together for this masterpiece of a sequel! 

It's getting a little lonely in here.

Don't worry pal, my parents are dead too!

Batman is now fighting Two Face, or Harvey Dent, who was brutally scarred on one side of his face in a court case of his when he was a lawyer. When he fails one night to successfully capture Two Face, he meets Dr. Chase Meridian, a beautiful scientist and journalist. She is just fascinated with him and it's almost love at first sight for her. Batman of course is falling for her, but is playing hard to get. When Bruce Wayne makes a move on her though, she accepts and they attend a charity circus together, they see the Flying Gracins, a family of flying acrobats, but when the party is interrupted by Two Face and he demands to find out the true identity of Batman otherwise he'll set off a bomb in the circus! When the Gracins try to stop it and Dick Gracin, the youngest flying member goes his separate way to stop it himself, the family is on top of some very high up beams and wire which Two Face stops them by shooting the wires causing the Gracins to fall down to their deaths in front of everyone. When Dick stops the bomb, he is too late to see his family lying dead on the floor.

Who said I was a fag? I fuck real gals!

do you got a nickel pal?

He comes to live with Bruce and wants revenge on Two Face and promises death and justice! It's not too soon that he discovers that Bruce is Batman and wants to be him at first, but then decides that he shouldn't take over but they should become partners! Batman refuses knowing that it's too dangerous; he continues his affair with Chase. But there is a new problem, an angry employee, Edward Nygmam, at Bruce's business now wants to destroy Batman and become evil! Who better to join up with than Two Face? He also has a machine that can read a person's mind and makes it tell the person's deepest darkest secrets. When Bruce comes to a party after Edward is successful in selling these machines, he tempts Bruce into the biggest machine of all and finds out what Bruce has been hiding for so long. When Batman and Chase are together, she confesses to Batman that she is now falling for Bruce. When she and Bruce have a get together, he wishes to tell her the truth, you know a little bit before this scene he said to Alfred "I've never been in love before", what happened to Vicki Vale and Catwoman? I always wondered that! But anyways, Two Face's gang kidnaps Chase and now Bruce must save her, but his bat cave has been destroyed by The Riddler! With the riddles that Edward sent to Bruce as clues, he and Alfred put everything together and know that it's not going to be easy to defeat this powerful team, that's where Dick comes in, or now known as Robin! Can the dynamic duo save Chase in time and save the world from getting their brains sucked into The Riddler's and can Robin get the revenge he's wanted for so long with Two Face?

Oh Batsy, my clit is so wet!

Can't wait till Batsy covers me in cum.

Two Face could use some of my pussy.

Batman Forever is a fantastic installation into the Batman series. I would highly recommend it! It's got action, romance, drama, comedy, and great sets! Among a fantastic soundtrack featuring U2 and Seal's famous "Kiss from a Rose". It's a good movie and should be seen by every Batman fan! 

Here's the movie trailer:

And here the vintage HBO featurette "Batman Forever, First Look"