Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

As Tarantino intended.

Yes, I haven't written as many reviews as I used in the past five years. Not because I haven't watched anything since then, but most likely because social networks have completely taken over the world of reviews with their youtubers and tiktokers sharing their biased, sometimes lacking, viewpoints.

On the other hand, written reviews have also been monopolized by paywalls that have dubious experts polishing the latest turds. Moreover, and this is the end of my rant, they say the movie industry is dying because of streaming services that know their viewers all too well: Short stories with the simplest so that they can continue doom-scrolling their socials while the actors on screen have explained their reasons for doing what they're doing for the tenth time on several episodes. 

Quentin Tarantino has got to be one of the last filmmakers that truly love cinema. Not only is he a director, but also a curator with surgeon knife precision, when it comes to bringing a script to life through some of the most memorable characters we have seen on screen since the early 90s. Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair is a gargantuan 4 hour and 36 minute experience not for the faint of the heart. Or at least, not for those in deep need of checking their phone screens every 5 minutes. 

Behind the blood bath.

They call her One Eye.

Seeing this film on the big screen 23 years after its original premiere, feels refreshing, compelling, and satisfactory. It's no secret the movie industry has been going down since the superhero craze. Now, all you see on screen is either a children's flick, an exhausted new superhero film, a lame remake, and that's pretty much it. People no longer remember going to the movies as a cultural act. An act of appreciating art in the room that was designed to bring the experience to life like no other place would.  Now, they're a bunch of couch potatoes on their phones while the TV is on. 

Kill Bill is one of the best films of all time. It is a homage to everything Tarantino loves about the film industry, and he knows his audience very well. Casual movie goers would neither think about the quality of a film, nor their artistic value. Seeing Kill Bill is seeing samurai films from the 1950s, martial arts B-movies from the 60s, obscure revenge films from the 70s, and slashers from the 80s. All with the twist of having a marvelous script with wonderful characters, and actors that excel at bringing such characters to life. No matter when you experienced Kill Bill for the first or the last time. You will forever remember its characters and plot.

Tarantino & Thurman promoting the "after credits scene".

 

Most beautiful celluloid assassin.

Once we got to the intermission, a girl no older than 20 asks me "Excuse me folk, what is an intermission?" and I replied "it means you have a 15 minute break". So she and her friend went out, like the majority of viewers did. This is where I realized: "Quentin Tarantino has achieved the legendary level". New generations are discovering his films for the first time, and regardless of not grasping every reference, or context from years past, they get they're watching a quality film that was made with durability in mind.  The majority of the people that were there, must have been 20 to 30 years old. The older viewers, like myself, a proud 44 year older, must have been the least in the room. I don't blame them, sitting for four hours straight, is not an easy task. Although I was prepared with my large bucket of popcorn and Sprite Zero, the intermission felt like the coming of a lifeboat. I could stand up, and walk for a little. 

Time for a walk.

"Now, We return to Kill Bill".

Does Kill Bill: TWBA feature extra/new scenes? 

Yes, it does. For the part we used to call "Volume 1" there is an expanded animated scene where we see Oren Ishii avenge his parents from every murdering bastard that was in the scene. I gotta admit, it didn't feel like filler at all. It could have been in the original version with no issues. Other minor shots appear when Beatrix Kiddo is fighting the crazy 88 in the restaurant, but you have to be quick, because these new angles go fast. Moreover, the famous fight, which was spent in black & white in the original cut, is now back to its bloody colorful massacre original intention. Gallons of blood are all over the screen, and I couldn't help but laugh, at youngsters being horrified with some of the most gruesome deaths.  

Unlike other old films brought back to theaters for anniversary celebrations, Kill Bill's return has got nothing to do with celebrating nostalgia. It is, let's say the "director's cut" we never got to see in 2003. A movie with such long runtime would mean theaters would technically lose money showing one instead of two films in a four hour time frame. Fast forward to 2026, and we can easily list films that are longer than 3 and even 5 hours! Two quick examples: The Batman & Zack Snyder's Justice League.

Last Duel.

 

Easy peasy.

Does Kill Bill: TWBA feels like a better film compared to the two original volumes?

No, it does not. The original volumes are the same movie only without the expanded animé scene. Moreover, this new take removes completely the opening black & white credits where Beatrix Kiddo is driving retelling what happened on volume 1 and where she's heading. Save for that, Volume 2 plays in its entirety as does volume 1 with a few added minutes. The seamless experience was already there in the original version of both films.  

Overall, a reminder of what great films used to be when the industry cared about art, and it wasn't force-fed into an algorithm that seems nearly impossible to avoid.

 

 

 

The Hateful Eight

The Boring Eight.

Quentin Tarantino stated a few days ago that he's planning to make 10 movies and then retire. I guess his decision is boldly based upon the difficulty he's having when releasing new movies. Such difficulty is no other than producing extremely long films that are not entertaining from start to finish. You can't make a 3 hour film just to entertain your viewers in the last 30 minutes. Also, you can't exploit uninteresting dialogs uttered by uninteresting characters. Everyone knows Tarantino's talent for creating interesting characters with even more interesting dialogs. The Hateful 8 just proves he's lost it forever. If Django Unchained already had a few filler moments, this new western is 100% filler moments. If you were hoping for a film about eight notorious killers holed-up in a cabin where the intensity is slowly ratcheted up until everything comes to a head and inevitably explodes into a gunfight of epic proportions and consequences...this isn't that movie.

First, let's be positive and focus on what this rare non action western gets right:

The cinematography at the beginning of the film was beautiful. The panoramic landscapes were stunning as was a slow motion close up of two horses in full gallop, especially with the Ennio Morricone score playing in the background. It seemed like this film was well on it's way to being a western of epic proportions.

Jennifer Jason Leigh can do no wrong. For most of the film she just reacts to the other characters and the situations, and does it brilliantly. Her sly winks, her laugh, her voice and anything she does makes her character truly memorable. Towards the end of the film her character Daisy Domergue finally opens up and Leigh is very good. It's too bad her character wasn't given a back story, because Leigh could have easily won a trophy or two this awards season if Daisy was a more fleshed- out character.

The boring as fuck team.

The most talkative Western cowboys in the whole world.

Tim Roth is good for what little he is also given. He can take a throwaway line, (which there are plenty of in the film), and deliver it in a funny, memorable way. It's too bad his character doesn't do much other than fill up a space so the title can have the number eight in it.

Kurt Russell did 'good'. Now I put that in quotes because he's done better, and in some scenes his lines fall flat and almost seem forced, but being a Russell fan myself, I think he did pretty good for the most part. It's too bad he's not acting as much as he should be.

Now let's go for the bitter taste this flick delivers by dozens

CHAPTER 1 ... Chapters in these films are no longer needed. Normally, I kind of look forward to these because we usually find out something new or shocking, either way you know something is about to happen. In this movie, however, they actually distract from the story.

Narration by some unknown person is also no longer needed in his films. The narrations seem like an after-thought that were added in during the editing process.

The out-of-sequence chapter is pretty standard fare when it comes to Tarantino's films. In this film, the sequence just makes you say. 'Oh. Okay.' and doesn't work at all.

Not even my music can save this film.

I'm the only character worth watching.

Michael Madsen is 100% a throwaway character. He's given no good lines and could have been left out of the film entirely.

Channing Tatum is a another wasted character and was basically used for a laugh, (depending on your sense of humor).

No other actor's talents were wasted more in The Hateful Eight than Bruce Dern's. Dern is given nothing to work with and I feel bad for him and disappointed in Tarantino for not giving him a more deserving part.

Walton Goggins WASN'T BAD. He is listed under the bad section because his character's motivations were all over the place. His cool confidence is what makes him an interesting actor and he wasn't given any of that here.

Samuel L. Jackson. Make no mistake - this was his movie. He is the main character. Forget the title. Out of the Hateful Eight, only four of them were actually given enough material for them to be fleshed-out characters. The rest of the characters are merely bit players to push the story forward.

Let's get inside so we can have a talk.

Even characters Yawn at this film!

There were a lot of throwaway scenes I don't even want to get into because it might spoil the story for anyone who hasn't seen the film yet.

People are comparing this movie to Reservoir Dogs, which is laughable. Reservoir Dogs did a lot more with a lot less. The Hateful Eight is bloated with a lot of unnecessary scenes and dialogue.

The violence is way over the top and unrealistic. Some of it can be seen as an attempt at dark humor. While some of it works, some does not and is needlessly gratuitous.

The Hateful Eight was unrealistic in general and most serious westerns try to play as true to historically correct as possible. 

Now I will say that Django Unchained was definitely an exception to the rule. You had to suspend disbelief because that was part of the fun of the film. The thought of Django actually being real and doing the things he did and said back in those times was really fun to watch. The hip hop music during the shoot out, for example, put a big smile on your face and had you cheering him on.

However, The Hateful Eight is a serious western with a small bit of comedy relief thrown in, and is pretty far from historically factual in terms of characters and their interactions. 

The movie is actually about me playing myself.

Great actor with a wasted character.

This brings me to the last part of my review...the ugly.

Tarantino has always been given a free pass when it comes to using the n-word, and boy he lets it fly here. Not a little bit, not a lot, not a bit much, but way too much. Subtle is not a word in Tarantino's vocabulary. Everything has to be loud and in your face. He's been known for being hip and cool, neither of these words describe this film.

Nobody in this film, aside from Minnie, Sweet Dave or even O.B., were likable at all. Every character was flawed and none of them seemed to live by any kind of code or morality or immorality for that matter.

At the end when you see who is left standing, you really don't care. That was the biggest disappointment for me. 

I'm going to be a Sheriff.

Overall, a sad experience for the viewer. I love spaghetti westerns, they're filled with action and just the right amount of plot to develop a minimum consistency for each character, but here there's not enough action. Almost two hours and a half go by when something western like actually happens. I also love Quentin Tarantino, I think he is my definite film maker. Nevertheless, I don't review films from a biased point of view. The Hateful Eight is clearly the worst film Tarantino has ever filmed. Let's hope his two remaining ones leave The Hateful Eight as a minor misstep on his already brilliant career.

PS: Bring some pills to keep you awake throughout the film, or maybe get high before hitting theaters.

Here's the movie trailer:

 

Avengers: Age Of Ultron

We're back with new toys for you to buy.

Every decade in film history has had its hype. the 70's delivered the exploitation/sexploitation craze. The 80's delivered a massive amount of B movies in the most varied genres. The 90's had alternative films featuring drug use and abuse. The 2000's seem to have been split in two halves. One were there were many awful films, and another half where films based upon Comic Books took the lead.  Honestly, we've grown tiresome of reviewing superhero flicks. However, our Comic Book love remains untouched and as strong as ever. 

Previously we engaged ourselves in the fulfilling mission of reviewing as many Marvel Cinematic Universe films we could, so that you could get a wider picture of what's to come in the future of such universe. The long wait ends today, with the film that sets the beginning of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase 3.

Avengers 2, AKA Avengers Age Of Ultron is the long awaited sequel of Marvel's Avengers, perhaps the greatest success Marvel Studios have had until today. Does the sequel outdo the prequel? let's find out!

Shall we help idiot Stark stop his AI invention?

We're growing tired of your bullshit Stark.

Partially based upon some comic book story arcs (mostly Age Of Ultron & Avengers Now) the sequel is essentially about Tony Stark's latest idea (something that could greatly improve Iron Man 3's poor reputation) which is none but to mass produce his previous remotely controlled Mark 42 armor as to set up a whole army of Iron Drones (known as the Iron Legion) in order to be everywhere in a matter of a few minutes. Such technology is based upon the what we saw in Iron Man 3, only this time it works. With S.H.I.E.L.D. gone for good (see Captain America: The Winter Soldier) Stark sets up as the CEO and #1 investor of the Avengers initiative. Next to him, Captain America takes the field commander position (Stark hates the man) and Hulk, Black Widow & Hawk Eye follow directions.

The addition of Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver, which may seem a bit odd from a certain comic book point of view, although brief, works wonders. Specially Scarlet Witch which plays an important part in the climax of the film. Now, if you are expecting a background story for each "miracle" (mutant is forbidden since it's copyrighted by 20th Century Fox and here they're known as "the enhanced") you'll be disappointed. Nevertheless, we're clear that they are a product of Hydra experimentation (The Winter Soldier again) As for Vision, the other newcomer, he's modeled after J.A.R.V.I.S. and this, was spoiled a long time ago in Iron Man 3. Don't remember? Well, next to the big bunny Stark bought Pepper Pots there is a Christmas sock hanging that reads J.A.R.V.I.S. Now, the colors in the sock are green, red & yellow, which are The Vision's suit colors, clever, eh?

Black Widow is in love with two very different men.

Hello legs!

and what about Ultron? Well, Ultron is pure reprogrammed Chitauri AI and his body clearly resembles that of a T-800 from the Terminator franchise (I wish it had more comic book likeness but whatever). Also, his goal is borrowed from Skynet's program: exterminate humanity because they're violent and destructive by nature. Nevertheless, Ultron is as menacing as fuck (there are a couple of over the top moments but what the hell) He's built an army of Iron Man spare parts and he's reinforced them with Vibranium (the material he's made of. Such material is developed in Africa, suggesting a possible Black Panther reference) The Avengers are clearly outnumbered and out gunned against this new menace but, heroes will be heroes.

Just like the prequel, humor is also a key element in the sequel, an item that I consider a Joss Whedon signature move. Every joke helps us understand that the film and its characters are not to be taken seriously. Hopefully, Avengers: Infinity Wars will keep some of that humor without Whedon directing.

Screw your lame intro, get me to the review now!!
 

Avengers Age Of Ultron is everything you could expect from Marvel Studios: A thrilling non-stop action ride that depicts superheroes as we like them: Being the hero, saving the day on broad daylight and having no psychopath like inner issues. The film is clearly not made for non comic book fans or comic book films fans. This time we're briefly or quickly introduced to characters that require you to have an extra tad of knowledge of the Marvel Universe or at least to be familiar with some of its more important/known characters. Besides, the original (film) Avengers we now have more characters to look for: Scarlett Witch & Quicksilver (both only referred to as as the enhanced, the twins or the Maximoff during the movie) The Vision (who remains unnamed during the film although "the vision" is teased a couple of times) In addition we have the presence of returning characters such as War Machine, Maria Hill, Nick Fury & The Falcon.

I need to use the bathroom.

I auditioned for Terminator 5 but they said I was too cute.

Avengers Age Of Ultron may not make room for the upcoming marvel films, not at least in a wider sense. References to Captain America: Civil War are zero to none during the film, although there are certain tension moments among the Avengers members, those scenes are not in direct relation with what happens in Civil War (the comic book) Then we have the Avengers Infinity Wars connection, is it there? Well, in a way it is. Thor has a dream where he sees the future and the unexpected appearance of more infinity stones and that's it.
 
The movie opens with an immediate action sequence, with our heroes teamed up again and engaging in some very rubbery-looking action heroics. This stuff is fun, and if it doesn’t mean much it at least gives audiences this specific kind of action sequence that we haven’t really seen in a superhero movie before. People tend to think Superman is campy but I'd say campiness is where you find it. It is during this heroic battle that we are introduced to the mutant couple of Quicksilver (Aaron Johnson) and Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen from the Olsen twins that are to die for now).

So you're saying your AI has gone nuts?

Hulk Smash!

Later on there is a party scene where our heroes interact with characters from previous Marvel Studios films. This party is supposed to be a farewell party as the Avengers have finally stopped the last remaining traces of Hydra. However, during the mission they find out the true power that's behind Baron Von Strucker's intentions: For reasons unknown, he's got his hands onto Loki's scepter and his ultimate plan is to use the energy within the scepter as to create a new generation of state of the art weaponry. In addition, he's got one of the dinosaur like Chitauri vessels in his hideout. Once the Avengers recover the missing piece, Stark & Banner ask J.A.R.V.I.S. to analyze the energy contained inside the scepter and what they discover is unparalleled: there is a superior artificial intelligence contained within, which leads Stark to rethink his dream of the Ultron program (an army led by AI that would put an end to the Avengers and would contain any menace without the need for human supervision) Unfortunately, they can't figure out a way and ask J.A.R.V.I.S. to try as hard as it can before Thor takes it back to Asgard.

For some reason, Ultron already exists inside Loki's Scepter so as soon as Stark & Banner return to the party he sort of "self activates" once he becomes self aware he hacks into JARVIS and borrows the Iron Legion bodies as to begin his plan which is literally based on Stark's quote "peace for everyone". From here on, the Avengers have to get back in business and face a very difficult time, thanks to the technological juggernaut that Ultron is. 

I'm only here so you can buy the toy!

Yes, I want you to buy my action figure too.

Avengers Age Of Ultron clearly is an adequate sequel to a film that changed the way the industry and non comic book fans see superheroes. With a challenge that seems larger than life Marvel Studios and his talented selection of film makers, producers, writers and actors have achieved the impossible: To create a sequel as good as the prequel or even better than the prequel depending on how you see it. What seemed to be the curse of the film industry (sequels) has now been once again changed thanks to a dedicated team of professionals. Nevertheless, like every human made product, the film does have its flaws, and despite the fact you already know we love comic books here, I think it's fair to point a few of the flaws this magnificent sequel has:

First, the CGI which by now should be of no surprise to anyone, has minor flaws but in moments where it shouldn't fail: Iron Man's armor looks too artificial in several scenes where he's standing or not flying & fighting lots of ultrons. Also, Vision is the one who took the fatal blow. His body (unless is a close up shot) looks way beyond fake. I mean even video games got that right many years ago. Secondly, why would you add a new character in the story just to have him killed by the end of the film? I mean, it's like he/she/it wasn't part of the story at all!! Thirdly, Ultron's menace is really big, or isn't that big? His presence neither holds connection to the past of the Marvel Cinematic Universe nor does have any relationship with the future of it. If you were expecting the foundations for Avengers Infinity Wars boy you're damn wrong. Fourthly, the loose ends:

Massacre: Avengers style.

The Vision is here!

1. The main characters do not seem to have any memories from their standalone films with the only exception being Captain America (who quotes some of his past solo adventures)
2.  What is the purpose of establishing a universe of characters when they only recall what's happened in the previous Avengers film? You get the overall impression of "what does this film has to do with settling a shared universe?"
3. Do the after credit scenes matter most than an entire film? If things go on like this, I'm beginning to believe they do, and if that's the case that's one of dumbest ideas ever! "Hey, I'm making a new Marvel Studios film that holds no connection to our cinematic universe but the after credits scene is a killer, I guarantee that" This crap happened before with Guardians Of The Galaxy. 
4. How Ultron came to be? why was it inside Loki's scepter all along?
5. The Marvel Cinematic Universe is dangerously approaching the cliche zone where formulaic behavior turns a master piece into a dime a dozen movie. For example, the conflict among the Avengers was already used as an important element for plot development.
6. Whatever happened to the Iron Patriot armor?
7. The New Avengers team, seriously?

Avengers, assemble!

Together.

Overall, an adventure film that delivers 110% of pure super heroic action almost non-stop. Nevertheless, this film may not be for everyone because it adds new characters and other comic book related elements that will only be understood and therefore enjoyed by connoisseurs of the genre. My recommendation if this is your first Avengers film is to watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier & Iron Man 3 beforehand as to set mood for Age Of Ultron. Of course you can also watch the first Avengers film if you're interested in the after credits scene.

Kids will love the film, lots of action and even a recurring joke about "watching your language". Also the deeply explored human side of one of the Avengers, adds a more realistic take on the characters inside a massive universe of super powers. The whole "we do this together" motive also adds up. This time the Avengers are sure that only through team work they will save humanity from an idea apparently stolen from Superman Returns ...Ultron. The 3D scenes are also spectacular, so please watch in proper 3D to melt your brains out. 

Here's the movie trailer:

 

And here's the fake after credits scene that features Spider Man and had fans around the globe going crazy:

 

Iron Man 2

Iron Man Returns.

I must say, trying to complete the Marvel Cinematic Universe missing reviews has been a very exhilarating and fulfilling experience. Despite the fact that this blog is mostly about B movies (and erotic films) Our heart is filled with comic book love. We have always said "read the comic book before the movie is filmed" Our motto is none other than "Love the original source, keep it as real as you can and build your own opinion based on personal experiences and responsible research" Having said that, our strong belief that the sudden success films, based upon comic books are having (since 2005 let's be honest) has strengthen the position of comic books as a multi cultural art form that can reach wider audiences thanks to the channels it's been opened to (television, films, videogames, animated series, home video, apparel, etc) Nevertheless, the original source, the comic book must remain as the only cannon arc and people who like movies based upon comic book characters are not necessarily actual comic book fans, so don't come with that attitude of being a "nerd", a "geek" or a "comic book freak" (or whatever the fuck you're calling yourselves today) Because the only significant contribution these films have given the comic book industry is nothing but money, and sooner than later this craze will be over and we, the true connoisseurs, the actual comic book readers, will still be here while all these film fan posers will move on to the next big trend. 

Now, moving on to what has really brought us here today, Iron Man 2 is the 2010 sequel for our previous entry. The film is a breezy, light-hearted, inoffensive affair that saunters at a magnetic pace, with emotional discomfiting a far thought. Which is pretty refreshing, to say the least. In fact, Iron Man 2 was the absolute opposite of Christopher Nolan's Batman films. For one, it certainly isn't darker than its predecessor, absent its slow-burning first half and latched-on social commentary. It also gives itself the poetic license to stretch credulity. This is a movie about a man who flies around in metal suit, blasting away multicolored-haired Russians with electric whips. Realism simply doesn't apply, and thankfully director Jon Favreau and writer Justin Theroux take affectionate liberty with the bonds of belief. Yes, Ivan Vanko can secretly build super technology unbeknownst to his suppliers. And yes, the only way to incapacitate a drunken Tony is to beat the crap out of him in a Iron Man suit. No complaints here! 

Iron Man approves donut consumption.

Is it true you were a Jedi & a hitman in the past?

Iron Man 2 is also very much Iron Man's superior, although partly by default. The first movie was stuck with a pedantic origin story. However, the sequel had no shortage of possible paths to take. Which did it choose? The way you should always go; the road of characterization. Rather than tediously expand upon its universe, Iron Man 2 simply reprises its dramatis personae and sticks them into situations graver than before, upping the ante but reiterating the overall heart and spirit of its predecessor. The characters are well-etched, each snappy exchange rendered with a mature pathos that contrasts with the spurious scenarios that they feature in between of. Iron Man 2 could easily be called a comedy, but the naturalism of the comedy is seamless; you get the sense that it would be impossible to write this movie without having these vibrant characters joke and jeer.

To bring the clever screenplay to life is the phenomenal cast. Robert Downey, Jr., as always, is effortlessly captivating. Charisma defined and an scandalously unsung master of versatility (he's not just playing himself, people!), it's no breaking news that he's still one of the most watchable actors ever. He is the perfect Tony Stark, and a more-than-worthy representative of the thinking man's action star. His chemistry with Gwyneth Paltrow as the pragmatic Pepper Pots is electric, and she too turns in a fine performance. Wistful, but by no means a damsel in distress, she is probably the realest character.

Iron Man 2 human cast.

Iron Man 2 robot cast.

The baddies, just as essential as the hero, don't disappoint either. Another wrong from last time round successfully remedied is the lack of genuinely menacing villains. Jeff Bridges honored us with his always-welcome presence in Iron Man, but his warm affability was anything but menacing. This time, however, Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell (oddly, both novices to blockbuster attention) are on duty, offering more than enough bang for your villainy buck. Rourke as Anton Vanko/"Whiplash", supplements a composite of the unintentionally hokey showman, supercilious mastermind, and the seemingly unstoppable behemoth. This effectively fends off one-noteness, and Rourke perfectly embodies the duality of Vanko's deceptively boorish visage and surprisingly vast intellect, while still indulging in the welcome irreverence that comes with the comic book villain (his Russian drawl is humorous but gives him an otherworldly conviction).

Rockwell, on the other hand, is flat-out comic relief as Stark's weaselly rival – though not necessarily a threatening one – Justin Hammer. He is excellent in the part; an absolute delight to watch, whether irascibly mugging in a loss for words with his insubordinate partner Vanko or, in one of the movie's best moments, shamelessly accolading his own (faulty) inventions with juvenile zeal.

I will have me revenge.

Christian Grey? never heard of her.

Unfortunately, with all these characters butting heads for screen time, co-stars Don Cheadle and Scarlett Johansson(oh my god I'm cumming!) as Tony's pal Colonel James "Rhodey" Rhodes and eventual partner War Machine and alluring temptress of a new assistant Natalie Rushman, respectively, are given the short straw. Both are more than able of carrying a scene, but while the script lavishes Tony with many moments in which to brood his way into some fine character development, and to convey Pepper's many grievances, neither supporting character is as lucky. Cheadle's moments of potential are all obstructed by the War Machine suit, and everything otherwise requires him to lucidly voice reason as a foil to the devil may care Tony. Johansson is a non-event, her Natalie Rushman an amoral nothing role, and her Black Widow guise is not so much daring femme fatale as listless sex symbol. She acts as merely a vessel for fan service, be it in her skintight suit for the general audience or that she represents another stepping stone to an Avengers movie for esoteric comic book fans.

The movie is inter cut between the scenes of terse characterization and octane action. The latter is a dizzying combination of rapid vicissitudes and toe-to-toe skirmishes, high on CGI, low on genuine peril. In fact, Iron Man 2 could quite possibly have been a masterpiece of the genre had it lived up to its first forty minutes of exuberance and intrigue. But once the clumsy pugilism of Iron Man and Whiplash takes place, the movie falls flat. The power play is nonexistent, because it's hard to believe anyone could stand a chance against ol' Shellhead. And if no sense of alarm can be conveyed when Iron Man is caught in an unusually melee showdown, the flight sequences leave no impression. Yes, the special effects are astounding, but it's all for nothing if there's no dramatic undercurrent.

Let's do this quick War Machine, I got a double date.

Wait until you try fingering with Iron Man's hand!

Otherwise, please, don't mistake my raving for fanboy hyperbole; Iron Man 2 is great. It's well-written, well-acted, and simultaneously a loving throwback to comic book norm and a break from recent tradition.Unfortunately Iron Man 3 happened fulfilling the prophecy of the trilogy (with the only exception being Nolan's Batman) 

Here's the movie trailer and as soon as I'm available, we'll be going back to the very roots of this blog: Exploitation, Sexploitation & B Movies of sorts.

Iron Man, The Movie

Marvel Comics definitive masterpiece.

Although I'm always trying to avoid making reviews about films that are way too important(it took me years to cover Star Wars as it deserves to be), all of our previous posts have been about what Marvel Comics has done on the small and big screen at different times.However, we haven't discussed each and every single movie from Marvel Studios.Now the time has come for that which is inevitable: Covering the one film that allowed Marvel Studios begin a career of successful motion pictures based upon their beloved characters. Enter the Marvel Cinematic Universe, AKA Iron Man, the movie.

Before we get into the review properly allow me to confess memories nobody gives a shit about, but for old times' sake, let me introduce today's entry like in the old days of Blogger (you know, talking about how miserable your life is)

Growing up in South America in the 80's meant two things for kids: 

1. Dictatorship not only taking over your education but also controlling your freedom deeply.

2.Reading mostly DC Comics comic books (Marvel comic books in those days were a precious oddity)

Now, how many fucks are to be given about this? why would I bring this up?  Well, as to explain myself better.  While North America was very aware of what Marvel Comics were doing, I barely had glimpses of what a Marvel Comic character would look like. Most of the info I had as a young enthusiast comic book fan came from TV (The Incredible Hulk series, The Amazing Spiderman series & the Captain America films plus the cartoons based on Marvel characters) and since Iron Man didn't have a cartoon/movies of his own it was nearly impossible to figure out who he was until I found a few very old comic books of his own in a pawn shop. 

Hit the road terrorists!

Talk to the hand!

Later when the 90's decade began I found Iron Man being my favorite playable character of The Avengers arcade videogame, and eventually found him again in Marvel Superheroes. By the second half of the decade, a Mexican book firm began publishing Marvel Comics comic books (mostly Spiderman & X-Men but every once in a while Iron Man would show up here and there) In addition there was the Iron Man animated series (check previous post about it) Now, all of these experiences lead me to believe that Iron Man belonged to Tier B where superheroes are concerned, languishing behind easily recognizable peers who already have movie after movie being made. 

Iron Man had it very hard coming out the same year The Dark Knight came out. Nevertheless, Tony Stark may have lost his parents and inherit a big fortune, but that neither makes him Bruce Wayne nor Batman. the personality Stark has is the opposite of Wayne's. He's not hurt, he's been there but, has long since moved on to a better life, where his creative brain keeps him healthy, rich and happy. Besides, every movie that tried to copy Christopher Nolan's realistic dark universe failed miserably. This one wouldn't fail, it wasn't dark, it was about someone who was happy to save the day.

Mark II.

Mark III: Birth of Iron Man, the hero!

The writing is great as 'Iron Man' sticks to the main story all the way. I liked how Downey Jr's Tony Stark grows from this carefree business-minded tech-tycoon who's only concern is Stark Industries to a man with a mission to save the world and in the process he still stays the same person as he maintains his sense of humor, his courage and his integrity. The dialogs, especially Starks's one-liners are sharp, witty and funny. This movie is an introduction to the famous title character thus those expecting only action from start to end (like 'Transformers') may be disappointed to an extent. But for me there was enough action along with substance to make it a hugely enjoyable experience.

Jon Favreau is a versatile director and his impressive filmography, both as actor and director, prove that he's experimented with different kinds of cinema. 'Iron Man' wouldn't have been an easy film to direct but Favreau does a magnificent job. The CGI is excellent as I loved how much attention was given to detail and how the viewer is shown every step of the making of Iron Man. Of course, there's some humor added to lighten up the mood instead of technologically overloading the viewers.

CEO wars!

Ever dance with the devil...err..wrong movie!

'Iron Man' is just the movie that Robert Downey Jr. needed and it couldn't have come at a better time. At a time, when this talented actor's performances were hardly getting enough notice, 'Iron Man' brings him back to recognition. After seeing him, one would conclude that the part was made only for Downey Jr. His dialog delivery seems so natural that it would be hard to tell whether he was acting, if the scenes were taken out of context. I don't think Gwyneth Paltrow has ever looked better. Though the role does not allow her to really stretch her acting, Potts isn't just a typical superhero's dame. She is Tony's confidant and the one who supports him through thick and thin. Paltrow provides the necessary charisma, sex appeal and soul that makes Pepper Potts shine and she shares a sizzling chemistry with her male lead. Terrence Howard has a smaller role as Tony's good friend but there's a hint that he might have a more prominent role if a sequel is made. Finally, there's Jeff Bridges as the villain. An odd yet brilliant choice as the actor is refreshing and like his costar, he too needed an 'Iron Man' to give his career a boost.

I noticed that some people were complaining that Muslims/Middle Easterners were portrayed as bad guys just like in any other American movie but I would like to state that this is no 'Vantage Point'. Here, these people weren't portrayed as terrorists working on their own but as men hired for a specific reason. So I just thought to briefly clarify that this is no anti-Islamic or anti-anything (except, well okay, anti-weaponry) movie. It's a movie for everyone.

meet the Iron Monger!

Iron Monger smash!

Perhaps the story itself isn't anything novel which is what makes it somewhat similar to other superhero movies, but the treatment of it and its execution is quite unique. Add to that a fine cast and dazzling special effects among many things, this is the ultimate summer movie experience of 2008 and honestly, the one that allowed the Marvel Cinematic Universe to exist, Iron Man is the big bang!

Overall, the best Marvel Studios film to date (yes, to date, that is 2015) and you know what? What really makes Iron Man an excellent film is that the cast chosen for each role looks and sound as if they were born for it. Robert Downey Jr. is a truly believable genius millionaire that is nothing like sad & dark Bruce Wayne (yes, people tend to compare these two very often) His incredible portrayal of the character brings Iron Man from the Tier B of superheroes, to the spotlight he's always deserved, but writers and artists had constantly failed to conceive.

Stay tuned for Iron Man 2, the sequel review...

Here's the movie trailer:

And a very special bonus video featuring "Iron Man, The Movie with toys"