Chopping Mall/Killbots

Formerly known as Killbots.

Chopping Mall (originally known as Killbots) is a 1986 sci-fi horror film produced by living legend Roger Corman and directed effectively by Jim Wynorski the films follow the survival story of a group of teens that are locked inside the mall which is protected by five state of the art robots known as "the protectors". 

I have to say this is a very entertaining movie. There were a few Andy Warhol factory people in the movie but mainly the stars were unknown other then Kelly Maroney who had built up a following from her role on the soap Ryan's Hope. I think the lack of marquee names are always a advantage in horror or thriller movies because that means anyone can be killed, murdered, and torn to pieces with no hesitation.

In the beginning of the movie we see a businessman giving a videotaped demonstration about this new security system that he and his crew have built in order to replace the apparently less effective human security guards from shopping malls. Among the demonstration guests you can see almost every single shop owner from the unnamed mall in which such weird meeting is taking place. Now, movies involving computers or robots in the 80's could only mean one thing: mayhem!

We need to protect our business from mall rats.

Enter, the Protectors.

In the city where the mall is, there is a bad electrical storm that hits the mall several times with lightnings that cause the main frame computer that runs the robots to malfunction and bingo! the robots go haywire. In the meantime, unaware of the forthcoming tragedy,  there's a big after hours party  going on behind closed doors. Predictably, these unaware workers will meet their way with the killing machines sooner than later. Now, these protector robots are supposed to recognize the mall workers by asking their ID cards but, since the storm hit their program source hell is about to begin...

This film clearly, follows the path of other successful  movies of its time but, I dare to say Chopping Mall improves the original ideas positively delivering  a fast paced story with no fillers.

This is a textbook movie about how to make a good thriller. It only last 75 minutes and that is all it needs to be. So many thrillers are so over blown and bogged down with stories that you even forget you are supposed to be scared, thrilled and on the edge of your seat. Yes, the the kill bots are really cheesy. But there is always something creepy about machines going bad, don't deny it!

This movie has all of the qualities that you need in order to enjoy a cheesy 80s flick: quite a bit of female nudity, (including a breast shot of Barbara Crampton from Stuart Gordon's classic film RE-ANIMATOR) bad acting, wacky music, and some nice but quick shots of gore and violence. Because of the fact that this movie has sci-fi elements to it, it has a bunch of horrible looking CGI laser effects that are so bad that they are good.

Protect the rich, blast the mall rats!

it's morphin' time! oops! wrong movie pal!

The writing and direction isn't as bad as you would think. There are some movies from the 80s that are so terrible that you can't help but love them. This isn't one of them. You can actually sit back and enjoy Chopping Mall as a horror film, but you can't set your expectations too high. You will also want to keep in mind that it isn't suppose to be a horror film all the way around. It is meant to be a horror/sci fi/ action flick.

Fans of old 80s horror movies will enjoy the cast of actors in this film, which include: Barbara Crampton from "Re-Animator," Kelli Maroney from the crime film "Slayground," Tony O'Dell from "Evils Of The Night," Russell Todd from "Friday The 13th Part 2," and Karrie Emerson who is also from "Evils Of The Night." Even Dick Miller came through the give a quick cameo. (This movie was produced by Roger Corman, after all.) The special effects by Robert Short are cool, but unfortunately most of them were chopped down to quick cuts, therefore leaving most of it in the dark. The movie was directed by Jim Wynorski, who also co-wrote the screenplay. Wynorski went on to make a career out of doing cheesy nudie films. After the 80s, the majority of the actors pretty much disappeared from the film business.

The movie was originally theatrically released in March 1986 under its original title, "Killbots." It performed poorly during its initial release. The producers felt the movie's title might have disinterested audiences, who might think based on the original movie poster that it was a "Transformers"-like children's cartoon instead of a violent exploitation movie. After some time, the movie was re-released on video under its new title with over 15 minutes cut. 

 
It definitely isn't "The Terminator," but it is enjoyable. Recommended for all of the fans of old cheesy 80s flicks.

yeah, boobs!

By the way, boobs!

Chopping Mall behind the scenes.

Director & Stuntman.

When the stunt crew was setting up a scene involving a character being thrown to his death from the third level of the mall, director Jim Wynorski volunteered to try the stunt himself as long as they set him up from the second level. He completed it successfully but found out he'd broken a rib in the process; Wynorski did not tell anyone he had gotten hurt and no one found about it during the remaining production time. 

Spam!

A movie poster of another Jim Wynorski film, The Lost Empire (1985), is seen in the background of many shots in the restaurant.

Kelli the action lady.

Kelli Maroney did most of her own stunts.

Evil claws.

The Killbot claws were made from plastic toy grippers adapted with electric solenoids 

The voice behind the robots.

Director Jim Wynorski provided the voices of the three Protector robots.

VHS to DVD.

The film's negative was tied up in legal limbo, so the Lion's Gate DVD edition of the film was mastered from a Lightning Video VHS master.

Roger Corman Movie Cameo.

The horror movie that Allison (Kelli Maroney) and Ferdy (Tony O'Dell) are watching in the furniture store is Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957), another Roger Corman movie. 

They Came From Outer Space.

The book Gerrit Graham's character is reading is "They Came from Outer Space" which was edited by the film's director, Jim Wynorski. One of the stories in the collection is "The Racer" which was filmed as Death Race 2000 (1975) featuring Mary Woronov. 

Fatality!

Eat lead tinman!

Sequel. 

There were talks about making a sequel after the film rallied to do earn decent office returns. 

Special Effects.

The special effects crew actually built five remote controlled robots to serve as the Protector killbots. Three were required for the scenes of the robots together in the first half of the film, with two extras as backups in the event that the originals were damaged during any of the action sequences. In order to keep the robots looking realistic (as well as due to the film's budgetary constraints), they were constructed out of such items as wheelchair frames and pieces of conveyor belt. Excluding shooting laser beams, most of what the killbots are seen doing onscreen was the result of the effects crew operating them via remote control. 

California Mall.

The film was allowed to shoot at a real California mall as long as they did not damage any facilities and had removed any traces of their presence before the mall opening time of 9AM. While the mall's head of security didn't like the filmmakers and was constantly accusing them of causing disrepair, the mall's owner was supportive of the film and made sure the production was able to complete its work on schedule. 

Game over!

Budget.

The budget for the film was very limited (around $800,000 total) but the director had no problems with this, as he was happy to work on a Roger Corman film and knew beforehand that Corman always kept expenses to a minimum. 

Here's the movie trailer:

and here's the movie, courtesy of Youtube:

Fly Me

Sexy stewardesses ready to fuck & kick some ass.

Once again director Cirio H. Santiago, delivers another great Philippino exploitation film under the supervision of master Roger Corman. "Fly Me" a martial arts sexploitation hijack stewardess adventure from 1973.

“This airline serves three wild dishes. Take your choice: ‘I’m Toby, fly me as far as you want.’ ‘I’m Sherry, buy a ticket and I come free!’ ‘I’m Andrea, my foreign lay-overs are very stimulating.’”

Plot: Feeling anxious over the imminent cancellation of ABC’s Pan Am? Fret not! Roger Corman’s New World Pictures has all the sexy stewardesses and globe-hopping adventures any aviaphile could demand. “But is it episodic?” you may ask. “Is it preposterous?” “Is there a white slavery angle?” Yes, yes, and… it’s a Roger Corman production from 1973, do you really have to ask?

Much like Pan Am, Fly Me divides the action among its three air-hostesses.

First up: Sherry (played by Lyllah Torena), whom we first meet at the airport, being dropped off by one man, and then sneaking off to the airplane lavatory with another man for a quickie (once they reach “cruising altitude”). When the plane lands in Hong Kong, we learn that Sherry has been spending her non-fornicatin’ time smuggling dope. But she’s shorted one of her suppliers, so they abduct, strip, and bind her, leaving her to try to wriggle her way free while wearing only panties. When Sherry fails, her captor informs her that the big boss has a “side business.” “Call it a ‘rental service,’” he sneers. “Girls,” he adds in a whisper, in case Sherry has missed the point. (“You… fucker!” she hisses in reply.)

Those were the days.

Kung fu Blonde!

C'mon let me give ya a cum swallowing blowjob while you drive.

Meanwhile, Andrea (Lenore Kasdorf) goes looking for one of her own man-friends in Hong Kong, only to find that he’s abandoned his apartment under mysterious circumstances, which bums Andrea out so much that she’s unable to enjoy her dimly lit yacht-party.

So Andrea enlists a local importer/exporter for help in investigating her pal’s disappearance, but the more she probes, the more she draws heat from swarms of martial artists, who kick at her and rip her clothes and shoot blow-darts at her. Some of her stalkers are Asian; some are white and female; some are blind. All move fairly slowly, giving Andrea plenty of time to counter their moves with her own.

Willing to deliver the best flying sex experience.

As for novice stew Toby (Pat Anderson), she’s looking forward to the hedonism of her first trip abroad until she learns that her mother (Naomi Stevens) has decided to serve as her chaperone, to make sure that she doesn’t get into trouble. (“I put a virgin on the plane in Los Angeles. I’ll put a virgin on the plane in Hong Kong,” she promises.) Mama complains about everything, from the food she gets in Asia—even “the finest chop suey in Hong Kong” can’t satisfy her—to the handsome doctor (Richard Young) who’s courting Toby from port to port. The young couple has to sneak off to a bathhouse in Tokyo to try and find some privacy. There, the doc reassures a shy, naked Toby that he’s “not only a doctor… I’m a bone specialist.” Alas, mama crashes the party before he can show Toby exactly what that means.

The three storylines come together improbably when Toby’s mother demands to be let aboard an aerial “tourist excursion” that turns out to be a front for the brothel where Sherry’s been imprisoned. Andrea’s gumshoeing too leads her to the same place, where a brawl ensues and the ladies fight back to a life where they can sleep with lots of men on their own time, not under orders from a drug kingpin.

so, what do you think?

Can't seem to reach your cock sugar.

How am I s'possed to swallow your load with this tape in my mouth?!

Overall,  Fly Me is a must watch from prolific Filipino exploitation feature director Cirio H. Santiago, working from a blithely trashy script by Miller Drake, crams the wildly colorful and eventful 74 minute running time with abundant delicious female nudity (the first topless scenes occurs barely a minute into the movie!), seedy subplots, a funky-groovin' prog-rock score, amusingly dumb lowbrow humor, several uproariously inept chopsocky fight scenes (the blind assassin with the cane that fires deadly poison darts is a total riot!), and a rousing all-out action-loaded conclusion. Moreover, Santiago maintains a nonstop zippy pace and a light, bouncy tone from start to finish. The three female leads are all quite attractive and appealing, with Anderson the stand-out of the bunch. Popping up in nifty minor roles are Vic Diaz as crooked cop Enriquez and Dick Miller as a friendly cab driver. Of course, this flick is completely silly and ridiculous, but that's exactly why it ultimately sizes up as an absolute sleazy hoot.

Here's the less than a minute movie trailer:

and a couple of clips from the recently restored and remastered Shout Factory DVD edition of "Lethal Ladies Volume 2", featuring of course Fly Me, Cover Girl Models & The Arena:

Cover Girl Models

Thrillers have never looked better.

Knowing that the Philippines  was one of the favorite countries in which directors produced several hundreds of B movies during the heyday of exploitation, it is nothing to be surprised about, in fact there are even websites dedicated only to cover films made in the Philippines. However, here at SPAM-Alternative we try to bring you the best out of the worst or the worst out of the worst if that makes any sense at all. Today we're travelling to the small island of the Philippines to gather around 1975's Cover Girl Models, which is yet another clichéd exploitation film you should definitely watch. 

The cult director Cirio H. Santiago once again finds himself teaming up with Pat Anderson who plays a model named Barbara. She, along with two model friends – Claire (Lindsay Bloome) and Mandy (Tara Strohmeier) – hop a flight to that Hong Kong, the most favored destination in any globetrotting seventies exploitation movie. Once they get there, for reasons never fully explained in any sort of logical narrative sense, the trio wind up getting involved in an international spy ring. See, a roll of microfilm somehow fell into one of the girls’ dresses and now the nefarious bad guys want to get it back no matter the cost. Also, the girls do lots of fashion shows and get naked a few times, all of which leads up to a remarkably awful shoot out where cult actor Vic Diaz mows some poor slob down with a grease gun.

Nice wet seethrough shirt.

Three girls, one cup.

Nice vintage outfit.

So, the clichéd story has it that the three beautiful American models will deliver us with plenty of action. Director Cirio H. Santiago, working from a blithely inane script by Howard R. Cohen, relates the amiably silly story at a snappy pace, maintains a breezy'n'easy good-natured tone throughout, delivers a copious amount of tasty female nudity, and stages the occasional martial arts fight with an endearing ineptitude that's good for a few unintentional laughs. This movie is further energized by the spirited acting by a neat cast of familiar 70's exploitation cinema regulars: Bloom, Strohmeier, and Anderson are all comely, sexy, and charming as the titular trio, John Kramer contributes a solid performance as slick'n'smarmy photographer Mark, and the ubiquitous Vic Diaz excels in one of his trademark oily villain roles as the nefarious Kulik, plus there are amusing bits by Mary Woronov as uptight executive Diane and Rhonda Leigh Hopkins as the snippy and stuck-up Pamela. Felipe Sacdalan's sunny cinematography gives the picture an attractive bright look. D'Amarillo's bouncy'n'groovy score hits the right-on happening spot. Best of all, the tight 73 minute running time ensures that this flick never gets dull or overstays its welcome. A really enjoyable diversion for those that understand these kind of movies. I wouldn't be so sure if a regular movie fan would stand it though.

Maybe here I can find someone to fuck my ass.

I've swallowed cum from five men at once, don't tell me what to do.

I can't seem to find my dildo.

Definitely, Cover Girl Models doesn’t always make a lot of sense and it rarely puts the three leading ladies directly in the action (as opposed to Fly Me or the mighty T.N.T. Jackson which Santiago made the same year and with some of the same people) but it clocks in at under seventy-five minutes so you can’t really fault its pacing. It plays just as well as a collection of weird seventies travelogue footage than as anything else and the camera seems to spend as much time showing off the exotic locations than following the girls around as they try to figure out just why the bad guys are after them, but you take what you can out of movies like this one.

fuck my pussy, fuck it now!

I want your cum all over my face.

Hi, wanna fuck?

A little nudity, a few bloody shot outs with some nice squib effects, a gratuitous Vic Diaz cameo, some travelogue bits, a little more nudity… yeah you could do worse than this if you’re looking for some fun, disposable entertainment. My only complaint is that they didn't film enough nude/sex scenes, you know,  having actresses that were regulars in the exploitation scene, you're definitely expecting to see some skin,  I mean the first reason why we stand the running time of a bad film it is precisely the amount of nudity & sex we're being offered by movie posters & trailers.

Here a little clip from the movie to get you tempted:

The Arena

Black slave, White slave.

1974's The Arena is a rare collaboration between U.S. and Italian exploitation exponents and the result is not all that bad either: director Carver, executive producer Roger Corman, producer Mark Damon, editor Joe Dante and co-star Pam Grier on one side, and cinematographer Joe D'Amato, composer Francesco De Masi and supporting actors Paul Muller and Rosalba Neri on the other. The film supplies a novelty to the Roman gladiator subgenre – which had seen service in many an Italian and Hollywood spectacular during the Golden Age of such fare, and would of course be revived with the Malta-shot GLADIATOR (2000) – by presenting us female combatants: in this respect, it recalls the contemporaneous "Amazon Women" flicks (and the girls here are even addressed as such at one point!) also emanating from Italy.

Legendary Pam Grier, & her legendary boobs.

the Ying Yang of sexyness.

Don't ya die on me honey, I need your cum to feed off of.

The plot starts off with a number of them (including statuesque blonde Margaret Markov and buxomy black Grier – the two had actually already appeared together in BLACK MAMA, WHITE MAMA and, for the record, the former would marry Damon and retire from acting not long afterwards!) from different tribes being separately captured and sold as slaves to work for the Romans at the arena, under the supervision of Neri. Muller, then, is a politician who, as if taking a leaf from any of the Jess Franco movies he had appeared in, rapes Markov in front of his peers as a demonstration of his power! As befits its pedigree, the film is filled with wall-to-wall violence and nudity (much of it gratuitous) but also other potentially tasteless ingredients – but who can carp when everything is clearly done in fun? – such as the presence of a sissy overseer.

Clean that filthy pussy you slut!

Blaxploitation Bush meets Whitexploitation Bushes.

Not with my clothes on!

At first, the girls are made to offer comfort to the male combatants the night before the latter are "about to die" – but, when they break into a veritable catfight in the kitchen, the flustered organizer of the bouts suddenly sees a ray of light in order to inject new blood (no pun intended) into the worn-out formula! Soon, the women (one of whom, annoyingly, is shown to be perennially drunk) begin to realize that someday they may have to kill each other: Grier is the first to have to make this difficult choice but only after her hesitation causes an archer to shoot an arrow and wound her (the result of her not complying with the arena-goers' thumbs down)!; the victim happens to be the love interest of their trainer, a Tor Johnson look-alike(!) who then changes loyalties and determines to help the girls escape. Eventually, the latter take control of the arena and exact a terrible revenge upon their captors (but also one of their number who had ingratiated herself with the 'enemy'); when the Roman militia sets out in pursuit, they (or, rather, the two protagonists since they predictably emerge as the sole survivors) escape through the caves to the safety of the sea. The film, essentially a variation on the Women-In-Prison flicks that were very popular around this permissive time, was actually remade by Russian director Timur (NIGHT/DAY WATCH) Bekmambetov in 2001! 

Oh my fucking god not in the ass please!

Shit, this oldman had a fit after  I swallowed his cum.

You better get wet for your next battle sis.

Overall,  The Arena, AKA, La rivolta delle gladiatrici is an interesting mixture of two very different kinds of exploitation film. On one hand, it's basically a Roger Corman women-in-prison film (complete with lots of showers, catfights, and a big bust-out at the end)featuring WIP regulars Pam Greir and Margaret Markhof. On the other hand, it is an Italian "peplum" that was reputedly largely directed by its Italian cinematographer Joe D'Amato and which also stars the luscious Italian actress Rosalba Neri (aka Sarah Bay) as the villianess making her return to the peplum dramas that had made her (semi)famous in the 1960's.

As a Corman film it's not too bad. It has his usual trademark of faux feminism and gratuitous female nudity (by Grier, Markhof, and some of the other slave/prisoners)and it's very formulaic right down to the death of likable innocent(s) and the revenge plot at the end. Unfortunately, it's also a little too tame--it's certainly nowhere near as sleazy as what we've come to expect from the notorious Joe D. I was also personally disappointed at how much they wasted Neri. Not only does she not get naked (a lesbian scene with her and Grier or Markhof would certainly have been memorable), but as a villain she comes off kind of bland--not nearly what she showed she's capable of in films like "Amuck", "Top Sensation", and "Lady Frankenstein".

I love seethrough dresses, don't we all love'em?

The roman fap dance.

I guess whether you like this or not will depend on whether you're more of a Corman and Grier fan (in which case it's pretty OK) or whether you're a D'Amato and Neri fan (in which case you'll probably be a little disappointed)

Here's the movie trailer:

 

Too Hot to Handle!

Fuck & Destroy.

Continuing with Roger Corman's Lethal Ladies film saga, today we enter the world of a buxom, leggy, shapely, irresistibly trashy platinum blonde 70's schlock action movie bombshell Cheri Caffaro, who rather uncomfortably resembles a dark side clone of Dolly Parton, struts her electrifying el skanko woman hot stuff to the sizzling low-rent max as cagey, sexy and very deadly international hit babe Samantha Fox (who shouldn't be confused with either the New York porn star or the vacuous British pop singer, now where they inspired by Cheri's character?), who's armed with an assortment of lethal weapons and clever disguises, plus sports the world's ugliest dark blue eye shadow and an extremely deep all body tan. Fox gleefully kills an eminently hateful bunch of wealthy slimebags who all live in the Phillipines. She's been hired to rub out these evil rich scum by some mystery person. In between offing people Cheri finds time to strike up a steamy romance with hunky police chief Aharon Ipale (one particularly hot date involves attending a cockfight; the killer roosters' wild brawl is tastefully inter-cut with scorchingly hot shots of a naked Caffaro excitedly writhing on a bed!).

70's chick style never looked better with a shotgun.

So ya wanna a piece o' me?

Funerals get my twat so wet, y' know.

Cheri's perpetually all-thumbs director husband Don Schain, who also helmed all three sensationally scuzzy "Ginger" pictures and the tawdry "A Place Called Today" for his darling celluloid sleaze goddess wife, fumbles the ball here with truly inept, but still oddly engrossing and often painfully sidesplitting results: some priceless dialogue (aphorism to live by: "I never bet on anything but a sure thing"), copious gratuitous Caffaro nudity, hilariously ham-fisted action scenes (don't miss the gut-busting karate fight between Cheri and a would-be kung-fu assassin on Cheri's yacht), Hugo Montenegro's funky, pulsating pseudo-John Barry score, choppy editing, quite primitive cinematography by Fredy Conde (the strenuous slow motion and eyeball-straining four way split screen are both endearingly clumsy), gorgeous scenic Manila locations, an almost excruciatingly funny surprise ending, Julie McFadden's haunting rendition of the unforgettably atrocious theme song "Lady Samantha" ("Lady Samantha/He fell in love with you"), and the incomparable Vic Diaz's marvelous portrayal of a sweet, tubby, gluttonous blundering oaf of a detective all jostle for the viewer's attention in this tacky, degenerate and resolutely crummy ersatz James Bond-style action/adventure dreckfest released by New World Pictures that's absolutely essential viewing for any self-respecting Cheri Caffaro fan worth his weight in crushed beer cans, which hopefully doesn't exclude too many folks. 

Get that sun tan you love so much baby.

Is it hot here, or is it just me?

You're so gonna love my kamasutra training old fart.

If nothing else, "Too Hot to Handle", AKA, "She's Too Hot to Handle", AKA "Hitgirl" proves to be a very entertaining sexploitation ride. Cheri Caffaro plays her hitgirl role Samantha Fox, like a natural, she is hot & sexy, she is Samantha Fox!. The film starts while she is at work knocking off a succession of Manila gangsters, a handsome young detective, Domingo De La Torres (Aharon Ipale) picks up her trail, and it complicates things for the two of them when they find themselves falling for each other. Don Schain goes all out sometimes trying to give the film some style, and it is rather amusing, as he employs split screen (towards the end, we get to see four things happen at once) and iris shots, and comes up with a reasonably clever scene transition at one point. 

Check my lethal weaponry: Tits, Ass, Pussy & a willing mouth.

Fuck me hard!

Sugar, today I'm taking a bath in  your cum.

Of course, as this is a B movie, I can't say there aren't inept moments, pretty priceless ones, in fact, as the fight scenes come off as woefully awkward. The James Bond-style music score is quite a hoot, as well. We do get treated to the sight of Ms. Caffaro's naked body, which is much appreciated, and there's a decent amount of sex. What is nice, however, is that "Too Hot to Handle" displays some disarming humour right off the bat, as Samantha takes out the first of her targets (John Van Dreelen) in a "torture room". In addition to Caffaro, the cast is entertaining; Ipale has been a busy actor for years, appearing in stuff like "Fiddler on the Roof", "Ishtar", "The Mummy" (1999), and "Charlie Wilson's War". The appearance of extremely prolific Filipino character actor Vic Diaz always guarantees a good time, and in addition to Van Dreelen, another veteran, French leading lady Corinne Calvet, makes a cameo appearance. (In fact, her final scene is amusing the way it deliberately mimics a scene from a commercial that her character shot - poetic justice indeed!) Fox and Ipale make for an appealing enough romantic pair. The movie is (comfortably) predictable, and easy enough to watch, moving along fairly well and providing a good diversion. Seven out of 10 definitely.

Here a 13 minutes sneak peek: