Andy Sidaris the late 80's and 90's definitive sexploitation film maker makes it once again with Do or Die, an action packed adventure with plenty of explosions, martial arts and tits & ass! This movie is so bad it is good. Andy Sidaris never made a movie with the characteristics of a master piece, he did his own sexploitation master pieces with his own rules, the same actors, the same setting and almost the same scripts for each of his 12 girls, guns and g-strings movies.
Ok, how about this for starters? For no reason you can figure out, you're
on
Hawaii (Molokai for the tenth time) and you're at an outdoor party for a children's charity. Someone
out
of nowhere approaches two girls sitting at this party to tell them there
is
someone waiting for them outside. It is Pat Morita. He has his back to
them.
He tells them he knows they are high-level operatives for the US govt and
that they are responsible for ruining his business, and now he intends to
kill them, but he's going to make a game out of it, and the game will
start
tomorrow.
With no further ado the two girls run off, pack their bags, get into some
kind of trendy vehicle, and make it for the airport. They're not running
from Pat Morita; they have never said if they know who he is; they're
playing his game without question.
My name is Kane and I came here to kill centerfolds who won't suck my dick.
Super agents are made like this.
Pat Morita is a pimp!
The romp continues, through, among other places, a sandy airfield where
so-called 'QSA' model airplanes are flown for an audience. Note that this
demonstration has absolutely nothing to do with the story or the
characters
in it - it's just there, and then suddenly it's gone.
Every so often you cut to a new scene with a couple of po' white trash out
of nowhere who are sitting around wherever they may be doing whatever they
might be doing, and somewhere they have a small black plastic box with a
short antenna and two coloured lights on top, one red and one green. And
then the green one will start blinking and one of the characters will say
'they're almost here!' and that's it. How are these two girls being
tracked?
Does anyone know? Does anyone care? The girls fly from Hawaii to the
continental US, through Las Vegas, and then for no good reason end up the
final 45 minutes of the movie around Shreveport Louisiana.
Don't be confused by her awesome ass and great tits, she's a serious top hitwoman!
Tits are the lead characters in Andy Sidaris films.
Sex by the fireplace, a true classic.
fucking hard!
It's brilliant. It's so bad it's good. This movie should be used in
university film classes as a cookbook of how not to make a movie. And it
is
probably being used for those purposes already. Every scene where Estrada
blows somebody up has to end with fifteen seconds on his white toothy
grin -
it's too much. And there is a classic scene where Estrada kills a bad guy
with baseballs. But perhaps one of the worst is when Estrada is having sex
with the odd girl out in a swimming pool somewhere. Suddenly she starts
ripping her hair back and fro, and of course there is a strong back light
on
her, and this creates a spectacular visual effect, but what does this have
to do with the story or the characters? It's so bad you will laugh. And
then
after that, Estrada grabs the girl up in his arms, and the girl twists so
her feet are away from the camera so she can make more fabulous visual
effects by kicking her feet into the surface of the water. You get the
picture. Get the movie.
I won't tell you how the good guys finally discover how the bad guys have
been tracking them across the planet for the past hour and a half, but it
has something to do with a 'laser microchip.' And not once in those ninety
minutes did anyone wonder how they were being tracked. This movie has the
worst screenplay ever written. It is one of the worst, perhaps the worst,
movie ever made.
Pat Morita fucks her girl good.
it's weird to have a pornstar casted and not letting her do her thing.
Skinnemax.
There are those who say this is 'soft porn' or basically 'T&A', but don't
believe them. There's as much real sex in this movie as there is in Donald
Duck. Rent the movie, see it, because you know you are going to be in for
a
treat - a movie so bad it is good.
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