Le Amant

Nice poster.

1992 was a prominent year for film maker  Jean Jacques Annaud and for the French cinema industry in general. French erotica masterpiece Le Amant, AKA The Lover was and still is one of the most  important erotic films ever made. Jean-Jacques Annaud's film version of Marguerite Duras, one of France's most esteemed writers, is quite erotic... told from the perspective of a 15-and-a-half-year-old French girl, who learns very early about passion, love and heartbreak...

It's the crossing of the river... The crossing, on a ferry, of one of the branches of the Mekong, in the great plains of mud and rice of southern Indochina...

A pretty young girl goes back to Saigon... She is standing on the deck, extremely defiant, wearing a silk dress, a pair of 'cabaret' high heels, and a man's hat... She is approached by an elegant dark man from Cholon who is also crossing the Mekong that day towards Saigon... 'I like your hat. It's original. A man's hat on a young girl,' he expresses, and continues: 'If you want I can drive you to Saigon.'

Forbidden love.

The rich Chinese playboy with a black Rolls-Royce is 32 years old, from that financial minority that owns all the popular housing of the colony... He's back from Paris where he undertook some business studies...

The film, beautifully shot, is a dreamy fantasy of escape through sex... The escape is that of the poor French teenager from the horror of her house in Sa-Dec... While the girl merely abides her innocent mother, she loves her younger brother poetically, without reserve... Her brother is handsome but not bright, romantic but terribly fragile... She fears her elder brother, a brutal and lawless dissolute man, stupidly dependent on his mother... The inexperienced girl wants to see him in pain...

The most remarkable aspect of the story is the strength of character of the young girl who is always a little sad... She finds the strength to proceed against the forbidden with a calm determination... "I've never followed anyone into a room yet.," she exclaims... 

Old rich man getting some fresher than expected dessert.

15 years old teen gone wild, seriously.

Jane March is a pro, she fucks for real if she has to.

The room was dark, shipwrecked, surrounded by the never-ending clamor of the town, carried away by the flow of the town... Her body was in that public noise... Their love was erotic, immediate, unrestrained... It was physical, violent, devastating...

But the girl loves other young woman in the boarding house, the 17-year-old Helen... Her passion for Helene is intense... Helen is immodest... She don't realize she walks naked in the dormitory... She doesn't know that she's very beautiful... She's innocent lingering on in youth...

'The Lover' parallels the life of Duras herself... The setting, in Indochina, is one she knows intimately... The story is set mostly in the early 1920s following the decline of French domination of the territory that is now Vietnam... The film is the most exciting journey along a winding river of passion, which ultimately flows to the sea... 

Wash her good old man.

Now fuck her good.

No more cum for today naughty teen.

Jean-Jacques Annaud handles the story with real sensuality, romance and dramatic power... He shots much of the film with a distinguished style...

Jane March is attractive, Her impressionable teenager's gradual understanding of sexuality is well presented... She was subjected to a close, penetrating gaze by Annaud's camera.. In fact I dare to say she is the key element in the movie. Her astonishing french beauty makes her actually look as if she was a growing up teenage girl.

Tony Leung, as the rich Chinaman, is the lusty son unable to escape his family's commands...

Although unseen, Jeanne Moreau jaded voice narrates the action and imparts a special flavor... Her words are poetry, as any Duras reader knows... 

Overall, The Lover is a beatiful movie, perhaps one of the most beautiful approaches ever filmed about the female sexuality, although it is not about adult female sexuality, there are still some elements that turn the film into a respectful look at sex unlike most of the softcore sexploitation films that create a fictional view about sex where girls are always looking to get laid, something that is not quite like that in real life.

One final thought, the film industry has always looked at forbidden love in affairs featuring an underage character, I know these are just movies, but if this was to happen in real life you'd be stepping into the borderlines of pedophilia and that man is fucking sick. However the film is not about "abusing an underage girl" it is more about the way past generations looked at love, unlike other films like "Lolita", "Cindy & Donna" & "The Babysiter" that were merely a perv look at teenage sexuality.

Here's the movie trailer:

 

Natasha, Revenge is Sweet

Daytime student, night time stripper.

Some time ago I said watching a Jag Mundrah film was a complete waste of time. I still keep the idea but I'd add a little exception today just because the lead role played by gorgeous Algina Lipskips will make your day for sure. However, if you are unfamiliar with Jag Mundrah's work, you can think of him as the guy who would remind you of the old school Cinemax, AKA Skinnemax low budget softcore sex productions you used to watch late at night to get out of boredom. Anyways, Mr. Mundrah has never released a masterpiece quality film. All of his are barely made for TV standard films.

Today's entry is 2007's Natasha, AKA Natasha: Revenge is Sweet. Objectively? Honestly, how good could a film about a Russian stripper on the run mixing with an English family drama be? The movie begins like a typical action/thriller B-movie, complete with a fair amount of nudity (no pussies, just tits & asses) and boring, amateurish gore effects. Then the film suddenly seems to switch roles to something less like "Pray for Power" and more like "Keeping Mum," as it moves to the English countryside and a surprisingly realistic and interesting community complete with realistic and interesting problems. The Loomis family and their neighbors are much more interesting than the Russian mob and police, which quickly (and fortunately) seems to turn into a subplot, with the family drama taking center stage.

There are a few plot holes that don't really bother me, considering the caliber of movie this is, but one of the worst things that would be the easiest to fix is the terribly abrupt, porny, too-loud soundtrack; thankfully it doesn't cue in all that often.

Russian Teenage Stripper.

Yes, make up your pussy good.

Here's a tip on getting your boss to do whatever you want.

I'll admit I was probably in a much too forgiving mood after the sheer delight of watching Jenna Harrison and Algina Lipskis. If you're a serious viewer looking for a deep, touching drama.. don't watch it-- it's not quite that good. If you're just hoping to see some cute naked girls and a flimsy plot, you'll be pleasantly surprised. To me the summary goes something like this: "Softcore-porn marketing and opening decadence trick casual viewers into watching actually good movie." 

Overall, this time Jag Mundrah does deliver an interesting film, just don't expect a Godfather like movie. This is a b movie made for TV with amateur actors, a humble budget, and a film maker that should have never quit his job at Mc Donald's. Algina Lipskis is the whole reaso why this film is worth the watch. Her beauty is princess like beauty, and her hot body is just perfect. I only wish she did spend more time nude on screen. Her nude scenes are brief and you can't really see that much besides boobs & ass, although there is a shower scene; where if you try hard enough; you might see her miniscule bush. I watched this movie in DVD and the movie cover had a sticker stating the content of the film is "highly erotic" and that is a fucking lie. The only softcore sex scene is where Natasha finds out her step sister loves her, and then they get rid of their shirts, rub tits & kiss, no more, so I was kind of dissapointed as the sticker suggested some kind of Tinto Brass experience. 

it's teen shower time!

Yeah.

I'm gonna masturbate in the bath while no one sees me.

Kinky brother.

The film follows a simple story, Natasha is killed by mistake and her older sister decides to switch identities (to save her ass from the Russian mob) so she completes her sister exchange program and moves to the U.K. There she will have the chance of starting again and becoming a decent citizen. However, the mob follows her, and so does the Russian police (or is it Interpol?) Once Fake Natasha's host family finds out she was a stripper they decide to stand on her side and so does the action begins. Rent it? yes. Dowload it? yes. Buy it? no. Unless you're a Jag Mundrah fan, something I find very difficult, unless you're Jag Mundrah's mum.

Lesbian sisters, incest fun.

Girls gone wild.

Algina Lipskis, all woman.

Here's the movie trailer:

The Dark Knight Rises

The end is here.

Now that the film is finally out, I can correct the many guesses I, and thousands of batfans had before the world premiere. The film does deliver what's promised but in a very Christopher Nolanish way not many fans will agree with. The Dark Knight Rises takes place eight years after the end of The Dark Knight. Batman (Christian Bale) has not been seen since being framed for the murder of Harvey Dent, and Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) and Batman’s plan to make a martyr out of Dent resulted in new laws and severe penalties that cleaned up the streets of Gotham while filling its prisons. It is a time of relative prosperity, or as it is referred to in the film, peacetime after a long war.

Bruce Wayne, meanwhile, is still in Gotham, though almost as reclusive as Batman, save for the parties he throws that he doesn’t attend. Instead, he hides in his mansion, hobbling on a cane as his body deals with the toll his years as Batman took on it. In a way it was thought Batsy would spend the first hour of the film on a wheelchair as Bane would fuck him good, that didn't quite happen as in the comic book, however I think it was very clever of Chris Nolan to show a beaten Bruce Wayne that can no longer sustain heroic battles jumping from rooftops, it looks and feels very realistic, after all, how can you not be weakened after fighting a gallery of rogues on your own?


Of course, peace is temporary and soon Gotham City will urge Batman to return and save the city...

Forced back into action to take on the terrorist Bane, the Dark Knight returns to protect the city that looks at him as an enemy. The Dark Knight was a brilliant film on numerous levels so going in this film already had a big hurdle to overcome. While it may not have completely overshadowed the previous entry, it easily finds its place on equal ground. This final entry to the Nolan series continues to bring these three films together becoming essentially one long film. Rises brings new realm of personal journey to numerous characters old and new. Christian Bale steps back into the role like he never left bringing a new pain that seems to elevate both Wayne and Batman to another level. Most fans will be happy to know that while the growl like voice is still here, it is toned down a bit so not to be quite as off putting. Michael Caine is given a bit more to do taking the character study between Alfred and Wayne that has been building and he delivers more of his motivational and emotional speeches like only he can. Gary Oldman gets a bit more to do as well getting to channel the Gordon we have been waiting for since the beginning. Tom Hardy steps into the role of Bane, a character that is met with mixed emotions. Known in the comics as the villain that broke the bat, has had many incarnations, most of them not all that good and not widely known to those that aren't comic fans. Believe it or not, Nolan has taken a fairly single dimension character and brought to life a destructive force that smashes through this film with no remorse. The big surprise was Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle aka Catwoman. She seemed to be channeling some of the previous versions, most notably that of the 60's series minus the camp. She really makes this character work bringing the sexiness as well as a more empowered woman aspect to the character. She is easily the best incarnation of this character so far.

The story is well crafted bringing all the characters together along with the story to create an epic piece of filmmaking. There are numerous levels to the story that worked well for every character giving each of them their own small story without ever making the film feel overcrowded or forced. It takes a bit to get going, but not in a bad way. There are some pretty heavy moments that push this film along, but will keep you away from the action for longer than you may want. Much like the source material this trilogy is a character study of the inner struggles of a man and not so much about the action. Make no mistake there are plenty of action sequences, each bigger than the next. Nolan has slowed the action down a bit, namely during the fight scenes letting the viewer finally get a better glimpse of the Dark Knight in action. Kudos to Nolan as gone are most of the fancy well-choreographed fights and in their place is a brutality that is needed to make the Bane story work.

This is not only a great film, but a brilliant cap to an already brilliant series. It's a truly amazing experience to see this film come to life and wrap up a series that has continued to get better and better. There are plenty of moments that will make both comic and non-comic fans alike smile and cheer. Nolan has stamped his mark on the Batman universe and has done something almost never thought possible. He has delivered a brilliant Batman trilogy and managed to keep the entire brilliant cast in tact all the way down to members of the Wayne Corp board members. This is a film that will make you cheer and sad that it is coming to an end. As this series comes to an end and the credits role you will find yourself sighing in relief and happiness knowing Nolan pulled it off and wondering what's next for the Batman. 

Are you talking to me?

Yes, I like the new iPad.

Now, what you've all been wating for, what did really happen in the film? Read at your own risk, although I don't think you're going to be that surprised.

The Dark Knight Rises secrets finally revealed (huge spoiler alert)

 

• The Scarecrow character is not seen in the film,  However Dr. Jonathan Crane is in it, in a minor role as the Judge in Bane's make shift court room. 

• Batman is heard saying in the film trailer "not everything, not yet" as a reply to Selina Kyle's "you've given them everything" So, eventually Batman sacrifices himself to save Gotham City and perishes, however Bruce does not die, so in a way Batman is thought to be dead. Although by the very end of the film we see comissioner Gordon discovering a new Bat Signal on the roof of the MCU. There is a will reading where all of Bruce's assets are sold off but Wayne Manor is not to be touched and it is left to be a boys home in the name of Bruce's parents.

• Officer John Blake kills two people to save himself. He is disturbed by doing this. Also the Mayor is killed, he's one of the only trilogy characters that doesn't make it.

• John Blake goes to the will reading then talks to the secretary and thats how we find out his full name is John Robin Blake. He gets a bag that has some supplies with a map and GPS and some other stuff. However, don't expect him to become Robin or Batman, that is not clear and I guess Nolan intentionally wanted to leave the ending opened as to let fans decide the faith of the Batman legend.

Bane, a tough character but a little unconvincing though.

Batman meets his match.

• Alfred is never shown getting a plane ticket, he just ends up in the cafe in Paris or where ever they are supposed to be where he see's Bruce and gives him a nod and walks away. Never approching him.

• As I foresaw it, Miranda Tate is actually Thalia Al Ghul. We se this in the last quarter of the film. Her role is relatively important as she's been secretly looking forward to avenge his father's death.

• Ra's Al Ghul is dead, he only comes back in a dream that Bruce has while being held in Bane's Prison.

• Bruce never breaks his one rule which is "not killing anyone" that is nice, as Batman has never killed anyone in the comic book.

• Bane is killed by the cannon on the Bat Pod. Thalia is killed when the truck carrying the bomb is disabled by the Bat. 

• Gordon finds out who Batman is as Batman is getting ready to take the bomb out over the bay with the Bat. 

• Bane finds out the truth about Dent from Gordon. Gordon has written "The Truth about Harvey Dent" speech that he was going to read at the memorial from the trailer. He then decides to not read it. He puts it in this right inside pocket of his over coat. When Bane's men capture him, they search his body and find the speech. Gordon escapes, however he is shot while doing so. Bane reads the speech while standing ont he Tumbler. In it, Gordon resigns his position.

• Bane toys with Batman in the sewer. Lets him think he's winning then pummels him, then lets Batman beat him a little then beats him some more.
• Bane, takes Batman above his head like in the comic and smashes him over his knee and messes his back up. Batman's back isn't broken however he has vertebrae that are bulging out of his back and have to be reset before he can walk again.

• Catwoman shoots Bane with the Cannon just before he pulls the trigger on a sawed off shotgun in Batmans face. 

The best Catwoman yet.

Anne Hathaway & her PUSSYcat.

• It is never implied that Blake will be Batman, Bruce makes comments to him that if he is going to be a rogue he needs a mask but it is never openly implied. He never sees the suit in the cave. He does throw his badge away after the bomb goes off over the bay. If anything it is implied that he would become Robin. They unvail a statue of Batman at the end. It's a really cool statue by the way

• Only Dr. Crane, Ra's and Two-Face are mentioned. No other villains make cameos.

• They fight in front of City hall, up the steps and Batman has the upper hand for most the fight. Bane gets some good shots in but once Batman damages the mask Bane starts to lose it and can't stay focused.

• Batman has beaten Bane, while he is yelling in Banes face Talia Stabs him, while explaining her backstory to Batman she fixes Banes mask. She leaves Bane with Batman and she joins the truck holding the bomb. She tells Bane not to kill Batman, that she wants him to feel the heat of the millions of people he couldn't save when the bomb goes off. She leave and Bane says "You know I have to kill you now" Throws him down goes to shoot him, when Catwoman kills Bane.

Bruce Wayne can bang Selina Kyle.

Talia Al Ghul secret weapon: her nude hot body.

• Noboy calls Selina Kyle "Catwoman" in the movie, so she is an unnamed villain during the film. 

• Bane origin story is closely related to Talia Al Ghul, as he rescues her from prison when she is a little girl. He helps her to the wall so she can climb out. By doing this, all the other prisoners beat him up and the prison Dr tries to fix him but makes it so he has to wear the mask. Talia, gets out and finds her father. He hates Bane and thinks of him as a monster and hats him cause he loves Talia. His whole plan is to destroy the city, none other. Himself and Talia are ready to die to destroy the city. Bane paints Gordon and the rest of the city officials as the bad guys. The criminal element sides with him, but the normal people don't.

John Blake, man of mystery.

Robin? Nightwing? Azrael?

Overall, The Dark Knight Rises fits the logical progression of Nolan’s other two Batman films while at the same time serving as a nice bookend for the trilogy’s tale. The action sequences are epic in scale, and the “entire city at risk” theme that Nolan has been developing from the first film has gotten bigger and more chaotic and explosive with each film. In other words, everything about this film feels like a progression, from the character developments to the thematic threads. However, we have to remember this trilogy is Christopher Nolan's take on the iconic Batman, just like his predecessors did in the 90's.


Ultimately, the way I’ve decided to look at the Batman film franchise is the same way I look at the originating comic book: it’s a long-running series. Different authors and artists have tackled Batman over the years, and some tales are going to be better than others. Nolan’s trilogy stands as a quality cinematic adaptation and dramatic arc for the character, and if it were a comic book series, it’d be one that I revisit often. I don’t think it is the last, but as potentially the last for this creative team, it more than delivers.

However, the film is kind of a let down in many aspects and I guess that's fair, there are no perfect films, there are no definitive storytellings, there are only points of view, and you may or may not agree with some of them.  


Here is the final movie trailer:

The Road to the Dark Knight Rises

Begin, fall, rise!

Yes, I know the film isn't out yet,  but with all my comic book wisdom I'll make my predictions on the highly anticipated blockbuster of the year The Dark Knight Rises. I never told you guys Batman is my favorite comic book character of all times, as I never told you I freaking love the Christopher Nolan take on this legendary character, so today we'll play the foretelling game and after the  movie is out we'll correct our predictions if necesary.

Comic Book Facts.

All the non Batman connoiusseurs are for sure thinking The Dark Knight (2008) was the best movie out of  Nolan's trilogy just because they know the Joker is perhaps the most popular enemy Batman has, however that doesn't mean a shit in Batman's actual comic book universe, let's go straight to facts.

Knightfall's climax.

Christopher Nolan based is third Batsy instalment on the "Knightfall" comic book, released in 1993 and continued on the "Knightquest" & "Knightsend" sagas. The story takes place over approximately six months. Bruce Wayne (Batman) suffers burnout and is systematically assaulted and crippled by a "super steroid"-enhanced genius named Bane. Wayne is replaced as Batman by an apprentice named Jean-Paul Valley, who becomes increasingly violent and unstable, tarnishing Batman's reputation. Eventually, Wayne is healed through paranormal means (the Lazarus pit owned by Ra's Al Ghul) , and reclaims his role as Batman.

"Knightfall" resulted in long-term ramifications for the Batman mythos, as Batman's trust from the police, public, and fellow superheroes had to be rebuilt. Additionally, Wayne realizes the peril and burden of attempting to work in solitude, leading to the eventual creation of the modern incarnation of the Batman family. The events of Knightfall also led to the resignation of Wayne's loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth.

Bane V/S Batman.

The entire "Knightfall" storyline took over a year to complete in the comic book serials, and in later years, the comics were compressed into a series of trade paperbacks, although these paperbacks did not include the "Knightquest" portion of the story until they were republished in 2012.The stores were all written by Dennis O'neil, Chuck Nixon, Doug Moench and Alan Grant. 

Catwoman often teams up with Batman in the comic books, and has an affair with Batman. Will she become the woman of Nolan's Bruce Wayne?

Miranda Tate could be the secret identity of Thalia Al Ghul, daughter of legendary master of the league of shadows Mr. Ra's Al Ghul (thought to be dead since Batman Begins) In the comic book she kinds of wants to get married with Bruce Wayne because he's the Batman and a richman too. The original storyline tells us Talia Al Ghul is used as a bate by Ra's Al Ghul who wants to see her daughter married with a man capable of rescuing her and eventually defeating him. Will we see something like that?

Miranda Tate gets naked to destroy Bruce Wayne.

At the beginning of the Knightfall saga, Bane breaks into Arkham Asylum releasing the most dangerous criminals, so that Batman, completely exhausted, becomes an easy target, you know, "easy peasy, lemon squeezy" It is important to point out that Bane does not actually lead all the criminals into destroying Batman. He prefers to let them do their thing and once they're all done, he enters the game. Considering the trailers we've been, that is going to be different, he will have the lead, and that is quite obvious since there will be no extra famous rogues from Batman's neverending gallery of rogues, so Bane will have no one to face for the battle of the egos.

Catwoman.

Christopher Nolan's Batman Facts  

Ra's Al Ghul is thought to be dead since the events in Batman Begins (2005) but, in the scene where he knows he can't escape the runaway train, he sits in a sort of meditation position, will that mean he used an unknown means of escape/rescue? Now, We kind of know for sure that we'll see him in the film either as flashbacks or new interventions. Perhaps Bruce Wayne will remember him telling him about the Lazarus Pit, perhaps.

Batman is seeing blaming himself for the death of Harvey Dent and that leads Gotham city forces, lead by comissioner Gordon to start a desperate hunt for Batman, and it is now known that the events of the Dark Knight Rises take place 8 years after he finishes the Joker & Two Face. As Bruce Wayne knows nobody has a clue about him being Batman, I think he just quits the hero game and goes on with the regular rich man's life, meaning he's not well trained as he used to be, so Bane can kick his ass good with ease. 

Why do we fall master Wayne?

Nolan's Batman fortunately works alone, there are no Robins and there will be no Robins in the forthcoming film (unless that is one of the secrets of the films of course) but there is speculation about the John Blake character. Some say John Blake either is going to replace Bruce Wayne as Batman, or he's not actually called John Blake and could be Richard Grayson or Jean Paul Valley. I'd like to think he'll be just a good cop and that Bruce Wayne will be the one and only Batman we'll see in the film. Besides the toyline has already been released and there are no other Batman figures rather than Bruce Wayne Batman. 

Miranda Tate could actually be Thalia Al Ghul, and if that's the case she will probably seek revenge after Batman killed his daddy. It is possible that she will turn Wayne enterprises into dust, while maybe Bane, would give her a hand with Batman.

Rise!

Lucious Fox will help Bruce Wayne returning to his dark knight role, as he's seen in the trailers displaying new amazing bat gadgets. Some say he will be killed in the film, I don't know.

Comissioner Gordon will find out Bruce is actually Batman and will ask him to become Batman once more. 

 

Alfred Pennyworth will not bury any more Wayne family members, as utters in a trailer, in fact I think he will be the most relevant character helping Bruce Wayne recover from battle wounds to eventually "rise" as Batman and become the hero Gotham city deserves. Besides, Alfred's Batman Begins line "Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up." makes plenty of sense and let's remember that Alfred is quoting Thomas Wayne's original saying when he tells it to Bruce.

Check my cool Bat iPad.

You know Bruce, I'm an expensive escort.

Shit, not jail again.

The reasons behind why Catwoman will team up with Batman remain unknown to me, but the team up is going to happen as we've seen it in the trailers.

It is said Bruce Wayne will spent the entire first hour of the film on a wheelchair. If Nolan wants to stay true to the Knightfall comic book, that might actually happen, although I don't think we'll see Jean Paul Valley's Batman.

Considering Batman is a legendary character, Nolan will probably not mess with Batman's reputation, meaning Batman won't die like many think, how can you kill Batman if he hasn't even been killed in the original comic books? Also, if that was the case, if Batman had to die I believe audiences will leave theaters in terrible pain & dissapointment. What Nolan's Batman lacks is peace, he needs to be accepted as a hero, he needs to be fully trusted by the people of Gotham city, he needs to become the clichéd hero stereotype, cause afther The Dark Knight he was more like an underground vigilante that became the very menace he swore to destroy.

Yes, I'm Batman's real worst nightmare.

what else is cooking? oh, yeah the reasons why Selina Kyle becomes Catwoman. If she's a true to the comic book character, she will have to be some kind of environmental activist looking forward to destroy those who poison mother nature and kill our animals. If not, she might just be some kind of Robin Hood thief or who knows if she was inspired by Batman to become a vigilante herself?

Bane origins will also have to be true to the comic book, so we'll see him transform into a super criminal thanks to the special syrup he's constantly absorbing through his veins. Now the question is where does the syrup comes from? was it made by some member of the league of shadows? is it some sort of poison tested on animals with awful results? (yes, the Catwoman origin story could be connected to this)

Will Ann Hathaway be this nude Catwoman?

Arkham Asylum, now more popular thanks to the amazing videogame saga, will also be seen just like it was in the Knightfall comic book. Bane will release every single criminal from the Asylum to get Batman's attention and to eventually weaken him and break him good.

Ok, enough predictions for today, I'm friggin' willing to go to the thaters, just like I know all of you are. go Batman go!!!

Here's the movie trailer:

And an exclusive 13 minute behind the scenes featurette to keep your bat cravings level down:

The Amazing Spider-man?

Spiderman reborn.

Hype, so much hype has been around the return of your friendly neighbour Spiderman to the big screen that I couldn't help taking a look at it. Mixed critics are not only found at IMDB, but in the whole virtual world of the internet and beyond. Was it really necesary to reboot Sam Raimi's Spiderman trilogy? and, Is it fair to compare the new Spiderman movie with Raimi's trilogy in the first place?

I've been a fan of Spiderman since childhood (haven't we all?)  In fact, Spiderman has been  an iconic Marvel Comics character for ages so  enjoying Spiderman 1, 2 and 3; almost felt like a natural thing for comic book lovers. Of course, opinions about which Raimi movie was the better may vary.

So despite the little time that has gone by since Spiderman III (merely 5 years) the industry delivers a refreshing new take on the Amazing Spiderman. Why not? why do we have to settle for the Sam Raimi trilogy as the ultimate Spiderman filmographic document? why do we even have to compare the new rendition to the past ones? If that was a rule, maybe, but it isn't, and one thing we're not at [Spam]-Alternative is being the unique bearers of universal truth. I was more eager to seeing this flick, because this movie was rebooting the Spiderman franchise promising the "untold spiderman story". Unfortunately, it turned out to be a big disappointment. Bad script, confused and weak characters, bad direction and bad editing are some of the major flaws. Story was too bland, no spice, no excitement.

I'm back! I mean, I'm reborn!

What's not to like about The Amazing Spiderman

The important scenes where Peter gets bitten or hones his skills or makes his suit have been hurried and short, while the irrelevant scenes have been dragged. Why?

Spiderman gets beaten, defeated, injured repeatedly. In fact, the audience was laughing hard on the repeated scenes of him coming home all thrashed and bruised and his aunt talking to him about it. He keeps removing his mask for just anybody and that's not very Spiderman-like, I mean you're a hero, aren't you supposed to have a secret identity? Did the producers try  to repeat Jon Favreu's Ironman style?

Most action scenes were non-thrilling. In a scene where Spiderman rescues a boy from a falling and burning car, he wastes almost 5 minutes trying to convince Jack (the boy) to be brave, climb up and hold his hand. He even gives the boy his mask, but the boy doesn't follow him. So in the end he has to throw his spider-thread to pull Jack up. He could have done that already and spared us of that boredom.

It was just an example. Most encounters between the lizard-man and Spiderman were equally boring, dragged and nonsensical.

There were a lot of loose ends and missing links in the story. Like the story of Peter's parents was never shown, but the characters kept mentioning it. Dr. Ratha talks about some Mr. Osbourne, but neither the man nor his story was shown. Maybe they're keeping it for the sequel, but the confusion totally spoiled this movie. A lot of inconsistencies were there too. Sometimes things stick to Peter's hands and break by little force, sometimes they don't.

The romance between Peter/Spiderman and Gwen looked lukewarm and forced. The scene where the burglar kills Peter's uncle looked awkward and disconnected like many other scenes.

Andrew Garfield didn't look much convincing either as nerdy Peter Parker or as Spiderman. He was good in The Social Network but a disappointment in this movie. In many body-close-up shots he was bending forward apparently to hide his penis-line from showing in the tight-suit. That made the already weak Spiderman look even weaker. Since when have Hollywood actors become this bashful?

Been caught stealing.

What's to like about The Amazing Spiderman

The Amazing Spider-Man begins with Peter Parker in high school. Though an amateur photographer, Peter's main interest is science - and he bluffs his way into an audience with his deceased father's ex-partner Dr Curt Connors. After impressing Connors with his knowledge of cross- species genetics, Peter enters a classified area and is bitten by a mutated spider. As his powers and secret identity develop, so too does his relationship with Connors protégé, and Parker's classmate, Gwen Stacey. But when the desperate Connors attempts to fight his personal weaknesses using the same untested method, he undergoes a more disastrous transformation into "The Lizard", a creature with a twisted view of how best to 'cure' humanity.

The Amazing Spider-Man's origin story is undoubtedly an improvement on Raimi's Spider-Man, a decade prior. The characterisation is a lot more realistic, which makes it easier for the audience to feel Parker's teenage pain, awkwardness and ultimate escapism when he dons the guise of Spider-Man. Emma Stone's Gwen Stacey is also a welcome replacement for Mary-Jane, who's sole purpose in Raimi's films was either to moan or scream. Stacey by contrast, is an intelligent character in her own right, who doesn't shy away from getting her hands dirty when Spider- Man's in trouble. 

Killer Cro...I mean, The Lizard.

The truly wonderful thing about the movie is, the lame humor of the past is gone. There isn't a Russian landlord chasing Peter for rent. And Peter doesn't feel like a whiny, little girl like Tobey portrayed him. For instance in those movies, in all three he screamed like a girl when hit.

The Spiderman suit keeps the classic colours from the original design from the comic book. It has minor updates that make it look more like some kind of fabric body suit and the boots are a weird crossover among a pair of sneakers and average boots. I liked the eyes of the mask, they reminded me of vintage Spiderman comic books.

Spidey likes to go wall climbing in his spare time.

The story was solid, but not strong. They had it in the right direction, but I think they needed to build on a few things. I didn't buy the main plot of the Lizard. OK..whatever but I was thinking...really? The story was still good enough to be called good and by far the best of the Spidey movies.

Fight scenes, Spidey web slinging through the air, and the CGI all great. No complaints there.

Love.

The chemistry between Peter and Gwen, they have what Tobey and Kirsten Dunst did not have. They need to seriously expand on that in the next movie. The man is what drives the hero. They need to get the balance right, and they need to develop his relationships a bit more.

Emma Stone in the mood for some cock.

Peter Parker's new family.

Overall, The Amazing Spiderman is just another movie that won't live up to the extent of its hype, it won't be a cult film and perhaps, we won't be talking about it in a couple of weeks. I had huge expectations from this movie. I had thought andrew would suck and I was kind of right, I just can't help thinking of him as some sort of teen pop idol that lacks everything a teen pop idol lacks: real talent.

The story is pretty different from the previous spiderman movies. However, the first half is similar to the first half an hour of spiderman 1! yes, it is that boring! Andrew Garfield has done a pretty good job, but his dialogue delivery is kinda sad. I was really impressed by Emma Stone. she looks pretty and has a don't-mess-with-me attitude,which is crucial for her character.

This nude Gwen Stacy is the reason why spidey takes pictures.

I found myself looking at my watch for almost most of the first half. The story, however, picks up in the second half with the advent of the lizard. The 3-D was mediocre, almost useless. I seem to believe that the 3D tech is thought to be a film quality enhancer, yet it is the other way round for most of the films that continue to use this technology as if stating "in 3D" certified something.

The film industry is definitely getting used to release any sort of crap without thinking about the key elements that make a movie, a good movie. The Amazing Spiderman feels like a made for TV movie, not a big screen experience. a Pity.

Anyways here's the movie trailer: