Carrie 2013

Watch the original 1976 film instead.

I was so excited when I heard about the plans for a remake of one of my all time favorite horror movies that I kept track of any pieces of news I could possibly find. Predictions seemed interesting, thus making the future of Carrie look promising. However, I'm finally convinced that there are people in this world who simply can't come up with anything good at all, no matter how much money and resources they have, if they don't have what it takes, they can't make it. Period! 

Also, if you have $30,000,000 (estimated) to venture in film making how is it that you don't have enough money to make poverty history? I so wanna puke when I think about how stupid our society has become! Anyways...

 

This is the epitome of pointless movie remakes. Never does a scene improve upon the original, or even introduce an element that might have been overlooked or under-explored from Stephen King's source material. It's not a shot-for-shot redo, but in its attempt to be faithful to the themes and subject matter, nothing is presented with any spontaneity or flair. There are no surprises and the creepiness of 1976's theatrical adaptation has somehow completely vanished. Do the filmmakers honestly believe they'll find audiences that are unaware of Carrie's plot or the steady build to the spectacularly tumultuous finale?

Carrie White (Chloe Grace Moretz, Hitgirl in Kick Ass) is shy and odd, attempting to stay out of the spotlight whenever possible. At school, she has no friends and interacts with teachers and students as little as possible. Her mother Margaret (Julianne Moore) is a fanatical, abusively castigating woman, mentally traumatized from her own unhealthily zealous upbringing. When the misinformed Carrie has her first period in Ms. Desjardin's (Judy Greer) P.E. class, she thinks she's dying and is mercilessly ostracized by her classmates. Tormentor Sue Snell (Gabriella Wilde) recognizes her cruelty and convinces her boyfriend Tommy Ross (Ansel Elgort) to take Carrie to the prom as atonement. But bullying ringleader Chris Hargensen (Portia Doubleday) and her violent lover Billy Nolan (Alex Russell) decide to lash out at Carrie again, this time blaming her for their banishment from prom.

Carrie's first period. Lame!

Piper Laurie's counterfeit.

The opening sequence adds a touch of extra blood and distress to Carrie's origins, with Margaret's uncertainty foreshadowing the teen's own naivety toward her physical maturation. But it also warns of the primary visual difference with this update: highly ineffective computer graphics. "Carrie" is the sort of story that doesn't need to be augmented with flashy, manipulated imagery, so it's particularly disappointing that the use of CG only impairs the disturbing qualities of the blood-splattering conclusion. Viewers will also likely scoff at the inclusion of a camera phone, internet uploading, and a "Dancing with the Stars" reference. Slightly modernized recreations of strikingly iconic sequences are almost laughable.

Chloe Grace Moretz is sadly miscast as Carrie, clearly unable to convey the unsettling awkwardness, reclusiveness, and eventual ghoulishness necessary for deadly telekinetic mayhem. She's cute, capable, reasoning, opinionated on her own competent interpretation of the bible, and quickly learns to discipline her supernatural gift, which appears to drastically contradict the previously terrifying aura of an abused soul pushed to the limits. Instead of snapping, with her mind spiraling out of control, she is instead a lucid killer specifically exacting revenge. As soon as she dominates her otherworldly powers, she's a superhero - not a crazed, unresponsive medium of reprisal. It also doesn't help that the supporting characters are entirely black and white: in their interactions with Carrie, each one is either genuinely remorseful or a vengeful serial killer in the making.

Horrible special effects.

I'll kill you all for no reason!

Julianne Moore is more comfortable in her role, convincingly looking the part, but isn't scripted to bring fresh concepts to the table. And Judy Greer is a pathetically comical choice for the gym teacher. In compensation for an obvious avoidance of nudity, a Cronenberg-esque body horror idea is appended, along with a brief courtroom skit (perhaps for realism), twin girl accomplices (Karissa and Katie Strain, seemingly because they were handy) and a supremely out-of-place dressing montage (like something out of a romantic comedy). The bland, repetitive revisions to Brian De Palma's classic thriller repeatedly summon questions as to why anyone thought it would be fruitful to rethink "Carrie" so similarly, especially in regards to informed audiences of 2013.

Overall, a total dissapointment which was definitely aided by media and social media to make a big hype out of it, so that audiences would want to spend their money going to the theater expecting a true horror film with a fresh new spirit that would lead you to say "yes, Brian de Palma's Carrie is a classic but this one kicks ass with the new approach it takes" Not even the female director makes a difference and what about the bullying factor? why didn't they explode that topic further! Also, the whole cast for the movie was a terrible choice! Classic secondary characters from the original novel that did have recognizable personalities were completely turned into heartless oneliners. Man! if I had that money I would make a better film for sure!

This bitch killed Sue's character.

Magneto is that you?

Anyways here's the movie trailer for the worst movie of 2013, and get ready for the next review from a film I have just finished watching: Thor, the Dark World! a great sequel by the way! Until then, be safe!