300

This is Sparta!

Zack Snyder began his filming career in 2004 with the Dawn of the Dead remake. Previously he had worked as a videoclip director taking his work back to the early 90's with one of the hottest number of the decade Soul Asylum. Today, he's part of the elite hatred online league lead by Nickelback & Michael Bay, but is it fair to consider every work he's done a piece of crap just because? Certainly not. Snyder brought Superman back from shame with Man of Steel in 2013 and to this day he's the head of the DC expanded universe (not cinematic in order to avoid more trolling from Marvel fanboys) The results are mixed and this is clearly not the place to tell you what you have to think. it's a free world and we all can be thinkers deciding by ourselves. 

300 is the second film Snyder directed and like Dawn of the Dead is based upon somebody else's work: Frank Miller's graphic novel of the same name. Obviously, Miller has an extended resume of excellent stories, all of which could be transfered into the big screen by capable hands. Back in 2005 Robert Rodriguez & Quentin Tarantino produced and directed Sin City, the comic book blockbuster of the year, also based upon Frank Miller's work. Later in 2006 Snyder would try his rendition of 300 and Miller himself would direct The Spirit in 2008 while Rodriguez would direct Sin City 2 in 2014. Yes, Frank Miller has stories good enough for the big screen...

a mountain of corpses.

A now legendary kick.

Now, let's get down to business:

300 is the definition of what makes Zack Snyder, Zack Snyder: 116 minutes of pure styled action scene visuals. Back then in 2007, the movie spectacular visual effects were compared to The Matrix trilogy (not reviewed here for strange reasons) for its innovative and creative approach.  

Plotwise the story takes place In the Battle of Thermopylae of 480 BC an alliance of Greek city-states fought the invading Persian army in the mountain pass of Thermopylae. Vastly outnumbered, the Greeks held back the enemy in one of the most famous last stands of history. Persian King Xerxes lead a Army of well over 100,000 (Persian king Xerxes before war has about 170,000 army) men to Greece and was confronted by 300 Spartans, 700 Thespians, and 400 Thebans. Xerxes waited for 10 days for King Leonidas to surrender or withdraw but left with no options he pushed forward. After 3 days of battle all the Greeks were killed. The Spartan defeat was not the one expected, as a local shepherd, named Ephialtes, defected to the Persians and informed Xerxes that the separate path through Thermopylae, which the Persians could use to outflank the Greeks, was not as heavily guarded as they thought.

Leonidas, the hero.

Xerxes, the bad motherfucker.

This film isn't for all people. That's to say about a lot of movies in general of course, but this one in particular brings up a big clashing point between critics; What do we want to see in our movies? What is more important, to portray a fictional setting for the sake of giving people a mind blowing visual experience or to amuse and amaze them with clever plot twists and intelligent dialogs?

First lets analyze what exactly this film is made of. Basically, the whole thing is just one epic fighting scene after another. Most noticeably is the camera work and the visual effects. Every shot seems like it was intended to be a work of art. The colors, the characters, the costumes, the backgrounds... every little detail has been given so much attention. During the big fights you'll also instantly notice the unique editing. There are a lot of "time slowdowns" throughout the battles which show what exactly is happening. Fatal wounds that slowly leak blood spatters in the air, decapitated heads traveling in slow-motion across the screen... it's all there. 

The story on the other hand isn't very complicated, in the sense that the whole movie could probably be described in a sentence or two. The dialogs are simple and most often talk about moral values like freedom and honor. If you would look at the script, it would probably look like another movie that has nothing more to offer then idealistic visions of how life should be.

a strong queen.

a future X-Men.

Reviewers of this title were mixed back then and maybe they're less mixed now that comic book films became a respectable genre in the industry of movies. However, I feel reluctant to take a position in this kind of argument. Normally it's tolerable to weigh out both sides of this matter to result in a fair judgment about a movie. Not in this one. On the one hand the visual are surely among the best to be witnessed in a movie. Every detail, every background, every special effect set to the scenes are so mindblowingly stunning. On the other hand the plot and dialogs are of the most simplistic and quite frankly dumb kind. "I fight for freedom! I'd rather die in honor then live in shame!" Sounds familiar? 

Of course it could be debated that this movie was never intended in the first place to have a unique plot that makes your head spin. But from an objective point of view it's still lacking in this department, so it should be noted.

Now that's fine and all, but does that all make of the film? Is it still worth watching (in case you haven't) or what? I think it is. For me the good outweighs the bad by miles. From the second the movie starts it grabs you by the balls (or pussy) and doesn't let go. Every battle, every scene of the movie and even every campy dialog compels you to watch it until the end without any distractions (you know, smartphones, food, etc) 

Evil Persians!

Fantastic action scenes.

I did not one single moment felt like the movie lacked anything. But I could imagine why other people did.

So here's the deal.

If you are easily impressed by beautiful landscapes, wonderful camera-work and editing and powerful acting then go see this. Right. Now. You'll be missing out if you don't. There is so much to see, so much power in the way this comic is translated to the big screen... It'll leave you in awe.

However, if you are looking for a good story, clever plot twists, some innovating to the world of the movies then skip this. 300 contains nothing of this, nor does it wants to give you this. In addition, this film is based upon a graphic novel, and a very graphic one I might add. Just like watching Sin City, 300 delivers a page by page live action version of Frank Miller's pen & ink.

Tits oracle.

Spartans do love.

I enjoyed this movie so much when it came out that I even bought the DVD (on clearance), but I know there will be people that will pass anything Snyder as rubbish, and that's understandable. Just be sure to make up your mind about what you want to see when you go to the theater yourself instead of being drawn into bias by the tons of reviews, bad publicity and Marvel fanboys out there. 

PS: This movie had its own prequel in 2014, 300 Rise of the Empire, based upon the unpublished works of Frank Miller. The film features hottie starlet Eva Green! Maybe well' review it sometime. Now, what's next? oh yeah! the film that turned Snyder into a full time superhero film director: Watchmen!

Here's the movie trailer:

X-Men First Class

a new beginning.

By the time X-Men First Class hit theaters, your favorite mutants were no longer the blockbuster frenzy they once were with X-Men(2000) & X-Men 2: X-Men United(2003). You see, before today's entry, every major project related to Charles Xavier's gifted was somehow boycotted by the awful critics X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) & X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) received worldwide. However, the idea of making another origin movie remained intact despite commercial failure and a massive fandom disappointment backlash (Daredevil, Elektra, Hulk & The Fantastic 4 surely lent more than a hand on the inside job)

What was once supposed to be a Magneto solo movie became a whole X-Men origin film, rebooting the story to the early 60's where Charles Xavier & Erik Lensherr were basically shopping bricks to build a place for their kind.  

But why are we discussing this movie six years after its release? you may wonder, well, it just so happens we humbly believe it was, this film, that brought the X-Men back in shape. Thus allowing two great sequels and a couple of extra Wolverine movies, specially Logan!

The good guys.

The bad guys.

Beginning with a crime-thriller and a fantasy film on his directorial résumé, it is safe to say that Matthew Vaughn may have already found his niche genre in the super-hero field despite only directing four films in seven years. His first super-hero project, Kick Ass, opened in 2010 to solid critical acclaim and a finalized gross of three times the film's ordinary $30 million dollar budget. And after only two years, Vaughn returned with 'X-Men: First Class,' an origin story to accompany the Bryan Singer/Brett Ratner X-Men trilogy released between 2000 and 2006. The film, is intelligent, enthralling, well-acted, stylishly directed, and most importantly by focusing heavily upon the relationship between the two central protagonists, it does not feel like a conventional super-hero film.

Set within the political context of the Cuban Missile Crisis in the early 1960's, Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) is an up-and-coming Professor whose life is drastically altered when he is introduced to the other members of society who also share the same mutant gene as himself that supplies them with super-human abilities and traits. After stumbling upon the shape-shifting Raven (Jennifer Lawrence) within his mansion, the telepathic Xavier then encounters Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender), the son of Jewish parents who were murdered during the holocaust by the narcissistic former Nazi scientist, Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon). Erik, who can manipulate all metal objects around himself, wants retribution and nothing more from Sebastian who is now a successful and evil underground figurehead who commands a team of mutants (Azazel, Emma Frost and Riptide) to do his bidding for him. But, once his plan for world domination is revealed, they find that it far exceeds the constraints of humanity, and Xavier, Erik and a rag-tag band of young, hide-away mutants (Havok, Beast, Darwin, Angel and Banshee) who were discovered by Charles, must combine their powers in one last attempt to stop Shaw from destroying the planet and humanity as a whole.

Emma Frost...

...Or Mystique?

Instantly where 'X-Men: First Class' works is in regards to its two central characters; Charles Xavier played by an incredibly affluently sounding James McAvoy and a rage-fuelled Erik Lehnsherr played by a stern-faced Michael Fassbender. Their instant on-screen chemistry provides the drive and ammunition for the plot to carry itself forward. Both characters have differing ideologies and their constant clashes due to this aspect allow the script to be brought to life. Instead of simply infusing their relationship with formulaic violent clashes, Vaughn has instead opted for more articulated verbal battles between the two characters regarding their stance within the society they are now becoming a part of. Xavier is an intellectual being who believes that humans will eventually be accepted within society as equals alongside humans, while Lenhsherr believes that mutants will always be hunted and unable to live peacefully side-by-side with the human race, his evidence for this resides in the anti-Semitism and hatred he received at the hands of the Nazi party during the holocaust. This heavy-set contradiction in ideologies allows their relationship to be imbued with pessimism, while they may be shown as friends and fighting together initially, fans of the comic books and films in general know this does eventually turn into a bitter rivalry and it's this development which drives the plot forward.

Aside from the script, it would also be rude to not praise the action-sequences which take place within the confines of the 1960's X-Men universe. With a modest running time at two hours and ten minutes, there are more than a few well-choreographed action sequences that would adequately satisfy any of comic-book-to-film aficionado's wishing to see this film. Each character's power or ability is at some point represented in a destructive or defensive capacity, taking full advantage of the fact that while many super-hero movies tend to concentrate on the aesthetic nature of the artillery characters can be seen to withstand from governmental agencies or blindsided human opponents, here it is shown and constantly emphasized that human reaction would be futile due to the overwhelming power the mutants possess. These scenes also allow the less important characters to show their physical presence on-screen. For example, during the climactic fight sequence at the conclusion of the film, every mutant character that is identified to the audience is finally shown using their abilities to full capacity, most notably the henchmen of Shaw and the rag-tag team of Xavier and Lehnsherr. This therefore accounts slightly for the lack of depth that has been attempted in these secondary characters due to the time and story constraints.

Shall we go out and find more of our kind?

Fuck off!

While it is a very good and accessible comic-book/super-hero movie, 'X-Men' does also contain two central flaws. The first is superseded in a way by the strength of both McAvoy and Fassbenders performances, as Kevin Bacon is constantly overshadowed as the one-dimensional antagonist of the piece. His plot to ultimately destroy humanity becomes second fiddle to the ever intricate complex relationship between Xavier and Lehnsherr, and his appearance seems too modeled upon that of a James Bond villain. He has the slick hair, the beautiful women and the villainous underground Club to boot, but Bacon unfortunately doesn't have the charisma to be accepted as a worthy opponent to the protagonists. The other flaw has to do with a minor aspect of the production itself, as the non-diegetic music, most notably during the action sequences, begins to diminish in its impact as the film carries on, leading to it eventually becoming the generic, genre-related fanfare associated with the conventional comic-book films.

Though ostensibly a prequel to the entire "X-Men" film franchise, this movie deliberately ignores continuity points of X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) and X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009). Matthew Vaughn explained his intention was to "make a good film that could stand on its own two feet regardless of all the other films" and also that could "reboot and start a whole new X-Men franchise". Writer Jane Goldman looked at the film as an "alternate history" for the X-Men - though a reboot, the writers did not want to go fully "against the canon of the X-Men trilogy", citing the various approaches the comic had in over fifty years of publication. 

it's morphing time!

This is the most unexpected scene of the movie.

The film was originally going to be a prequel about Magneto. Screenwriter Sheldon Turner wrote a treatment which he described as "X-Men (2000) meets The Pianist (2002)": the story focused on Magneto's early years as a prisoner of war in a Nazi concentration camp, until liberation by a squad of Allied Forces led by Charles Xavier. They later meet after the war and become friends, and later become rivals. The studio decided to change the film's direction to the early years of the X-Men, but incorporated aspects of Turner's script into the film.  

Matthew Vaughn wanted the film to resemble the productions of the 1960s, with "very traditional framing, and camera movement when it needs to move, not just throwing it around and whizz-bang", and using the anamorphic format "to create a widescreen experience, is emblematic of '60s movies". Vaughn had to hire five cinematographers - with sole credit being given to John Mathieson, who came halfway through the shoot and did half of the film - and four assistant directors to successfully convey the look he wanted for the film. 

An early version of the Black Bird.

Yes, Magneto's signature helmet!

Interestingly enough, this movie isn't based upon the 2006/2007 X-Men First Class comic book written by Jeff Parker & penciled by Roger Cruz, so in a way, this movie foresaw what the Marvel Cinematic universe films would do in the future: Name their flicks after one famous comic book story arc without actually being based upon it. Producers, suggested in early stages of the film, that the story should be brand new and based upon the cinematic universe already established in the previous 4 X-Men movies, and boy was that a bold move! Magneto a good guy? Mystique a good guy?, Charles Xavier's accident? Every liberty producers & writers took, clearly paid off as this film opened doors for an entirely new, yet connected to the earlier, trilogy of mutant movies.

At the time this film was in pre-production stage Bryan Singer (director of the first two X films, plus the two later X films) was offered the director chair but he was already busy in other projects. Nevertheless, he accepted the producer job. In 2006 he directed the god awful Superman Returns.
 

Hi, I'm Beast!

We want a reboot and we want it now!

Overall, X-Men: First Class, is not your typical comic-book movie, it may contain certain elements associated with the comic-book genre, but by placing a heavy emphasis upon the strength of the plot and the script at the film's core instead of the action-set-pieces taking place, Vaughn has intended, and succeeded, in transcending the stereotypical conventions of the genre and has created a film which will appeal to a wide range of audience members.

Although, it didn't become a blockbuster of proportions in 2011, watching this movie in retrospect, adds up to the more successful sequels from 2014 & 2016. 

Here's the movie trailer:

  

Logan

The final chapter, a masterpiece!

Wow! I can't believe last night I watched what would be the final Hugh Jackman Wolverine movie. What started almost 16 years ago, ended the way many other movie franchises wish they had: Brilliantly! Logan is the third solo film in the Wolverine story but, it is actually the 8th time Mr. Jackman suits up in adamantium. I'm sure no other actor has ever worked this long with the same character, and a very complex character I might add. 

Following the huge success the X-Men films had in the early 2000's, 20th Century Fox decided to expand its universe with "Origin" movies for their most popular characters. Originally, a Wolverine & a Magneto movie were set to start a long list of mutant related films. Unfortunately, the poor ratings and harsh critics X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) received shut the doors for any other origin film. However, two years later in 2011, X-Men First Class brought hope to the world of mutants, paving the way to a massive and successful return of the Marvel Mutants to the big screen. Enter The Wolverine (2013), X-Men Days of Future Past (2014) & X-Men Apocalypse (2016) However, we're not here today to give a long explanation about how Logan came to be. If still interested, you can click on the links for our reviews of the previous incarnations of Wolverine. 

Now you pissed me off real good cocksucker!

Language! fucker!

So, Logan takes place in the year 2029, a future where there are neither mutants nor superheroes left. The reason behind this has to do with some evil science related to weaponizing mutant abilities. Logan is no longer the Wolverine. His days are spent as a weary limo driver trying to make enough money to feed his friends Caliban (Stephen Merchant) & Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart). The first half of the movie is spent showing us how hard it is to survive in a world without heroes. There are no funds left, no school for the gifted left and no friends to rely on. Logan is very sick due to the Adamantium causing him some kind of blood disease, but he's the only one healthy enough to take of care of the once great Professor X. 

There are a lot of interesting, and very well executed, nods to the previous X-Men films. The film is pure adrenaline from start to finish, lots of massive action sequences where we finally see full screen what a sharp pair of Adamantium claws can do to whoever is stupid enough to piss off the great Wolverine. The opening line, "What the fuck?!" already tells us this is the ultimate film. Motherfucker, fuck, fucking, shit, son of a bitch become their own character, and add a lot of flavor to the dialog of characters that are dying on the inside. Dafne Keen (who plays, Laura, AKA X-23) steals the show! she's a super talented young actress! 

So you're the legendary Wolverine.

Military scientists are the worst!

The goodness Logan has doesn't just stop there. The film comes packed with direct messages on how fucked up things are in real life: The USA experimenting illegally in Mexico, Children trying to escape to the Canadian frontier, twisted scientists, exploited Mexican labor, abused children, abandoned old men with no health care system, and gory violence that actually makes sense. Furthermore, several characters first language is Spanish! ¡Sí! ¡lo escucharon bien putos! (yes!, you heard that right manwhores!). And finally, actors/actresses use it properly! with no shitty phonetics or singular/plural/gender issues! This is one of the coolest elements that make the film work wonders! You see, in Mexico, people speak Spanish, so the illegal installations gringos have, are all forced run by Mexican doctors & Mexican nurses. Their experiments are taught to speak Spanish as a first language and they nail it! Twenty thumbs up for the young bunch of actors/actresses who speak it properly and two extra thumbs up for adding realism to the film! I mean, how many movies that take place in non English speaking countries are spoken in the correct language? two? three maybe?  

Director James Mangold wasn't fucking around when he got the job! Also, Jackman spoke several times during the last couple of years about his true commitment to the final movie of the Wolverine. You see, he had fans in his mind! Logan is the closest Marvel Comics has ever gotten to having their own The Dark Knight movie! Forget the childish phase 1,2, who fucking cares anymore Disney films! This movie has balls!

Hola, mi nombre es Laura.

I will protect you Laura.

The realism this film has is also another of its strengths. Brutal in your face violence is just around the corner, but every mutilation happens for a reason, and in a film that I for one, believe it to be the most serious Marvel Comics movie ever made, violence is clearly a desperate cry of characters that are stepping on Legos on a daily basis. In addition, the drama behind Logan & Professor X is gigantically depressing! They barely make enough to eat once or twice a day! Charles is 90 years old and in need of a special drug to stop from having seizures that can kill mankind & mutants in a minute! He is no longer in control of his powers, and so is Logan due to his blood illness. Caliban is not a warrior, he just helps with home work. On the other hand the bad guys, AKA Alkali Transigen are fully funded and armed to their teeth! So here's where hope happens: One day, Logan is hired by Gabriela (Elizabeth Rodríguez), a Mexican nurse. The big revelation behind this moment is brutal enough to convince Logan to fight one final time for what he believes is right. 

The discrimination issue is nothing new in an X-Men film, only this time things went south the hard way pretty quick, and long before Logan realizes he's the only hope of a bunch of special kids that could mean the future for the extinct mutanthood. I'm sure Donald Trump & his supporters will not like this movie at all, so if you're one of those poor souls without a brain, watch something else, you can't build walls in a movie theater. 

Yes, these claws are real baldnuts!

I'm super pissed!

Nevertheless, this film doesn't take itself too seriously, there's a fair amount of good jokes that will make you laugh just before & after you finish wiping your tears. Also, the makeup they put on Jackman to make him look older is really good. Once you find out [SPOILER] you won't believe who's wearing makeup and who isn't! 

Plotwise, Logan borrows a couple of things from the 2008 Old Man Logan story arc written and penciled respectively by Mark Millar & Steve McNiven. Basically, they took the fact that Logan was old and sick plus the road movie feeling the comic book has. In addition, it features elements from 1986's Mutant Massacre (Chris Claremont & John Romita Jr.), 2004's X-23 (Craig Kyle) and 2014's The Death of Wolverine (Charles Soule & Steve NcNiven) From then on, the story is entirely new, and in timeline terms, it takes place in the future from X-Men Days of Future Past. The X-Men are no more, they were either exterminated by Alkali Transigen or sadly by Professor X, who refers to the "Westchester incident" (Westchester, for the unaware, happens to be the exact location of Charles Xavier's school in New York). This movie would bring emo teens to mass suicide (if they had any balls to do so).   

Overall, Logan is the "adult" Marvel Comics film we've been waiting far too long for. Even hardcore comic book readers will be satisfied. Go watch it now! and be careful with Adamantium bullets! I for one, I'm seriosly planning to watch it again in 4DX.

Warning!: Not for Disney Marvel fans, they will shit in their pants, bunch of pussies!

Here's the movie trailer:

And a bonus certain video from Deadpool: