Cinderella 2000

The future never looked less promising!

Just when you thought we couldn't hit a new low (our previous review) we surprise again with another sleazy space opera: Cinderella 2000! a futuristic retelling of the classic tale featuring robots, fascist laws, dance moves, low budget costumes and lots of T & A! Directed by B-movie veteran Al Adamson & written by Budd Donnelly, this 1977 flick promises to deliver the answer to "Will there still be sex in the XXI century?"  

We always recall the 70's as a decade of creative freedom and yet repression towards gay people and other minorities was still hitting hard on people who wanted to express and live their sexual freedom. Cinderella 2000 can be best described as a softcore sci-fi musical satire. While the essence of the classic Cinderella tale is still there, the film chooses a questionable approach to the problems of governmental and community sexual oppression from the 70's but places them in the now not so distant future year of 2047. 

Cinderella knows a cumshot can save the world.

Fancy sexy suits from the future!

Unlike sophisticated satires that draw parallels the world on the screen and the world as it exists, Cinderella 2000 glosses over real issues (from the 70's) and misrepresents the serious nature of the problem: For instance,  the fascist ruler of this period, The Controller (Erwin Fuller), is portrayed as a silly clown instead of a villainous dictator; the populace, for whom the joys or sex are as much a mystery as the particulars of the act, is not treated sympathetically; and the only kind of political statement the movie attempts to make is "We all need love". 

Most outrageous of all, however, is the fairy-tale like solution offered. Cindy,  played by Catharine Erhardt, has a dream come true  when she seduces her prince charming Tom Prince (Vaughn Armstrong), at a governmental ball aided by her fairy godfather (Jay Larson). Realizing suddenly that sex is good (yeah, right) Tom, who conveniently happens to be The Controller's number one guy, convinces the dictator to lift the sex ban and allow the populace to enjoy the pleasures of sex.  Thus, thanks to the downtrodden miss and her fairy godfather, everyone in 2047 lives happily ever after. Unfortunately, the very real prison sentences faced by First Amendment defenders Larry Flynt & Al Goldstein in 1977, couldn't be set aside with the power of a magic wand. 

Raise your hand if you want dick!

Continue fucking, we're here for your safety only.

Of course, the makers of this film met a very different destiny to that of Mr. Flynt & Mr. Godstein because even maestro Russ Meyer made far more graphic films than this one. Cinderella 2000 is all about T & A with no explicit sex and no split beavers. Even the technical aspects of this film are mediocre: The soft-rock soundtrack is poor, the lyrics and dialog are weak, and the costume and set designs barely give the impression of the future. If there were laws for punishing bad film makers, I'm sure jails would be over crowded and Hollywood and its imitators would be a far smaller business with legally controlled budgets but that is pure fiction, of course. 

If you're planning a party with friends, I'm sure here's another background film you can play while everyone's drinking and dancing to cool music while this senseless two hour and 20 something minute films goes unnoticed by your family, friends and even yourself. 

Daft Punk from 2047.

Musicals and sex. What a great idea!

This movie was a typical low-budget Al Adamson sci-fi flick. Now, to be fair, let's take a look at some of the few highlights the film has: Most of the actors were sub-par, with the exception of Sherri Coyle. She is absolutely gorgeous in the opening scene with Art Carcaro as they attempt to figure out how to make love. Her body is curvaceous, her hair long and silky and her eyes sultry. She makes you wish you were there with her. Then Roscoe the Robot and his stormtroopers barge in, catching Sherri and Art "in the act". The poor things are then taken away for punishment.
 

Highlight 1: While in the Reduction Chamber, and after the silly video from the Central Controller, Adamson manages to sneak in a subtle hint of lesbianism in Stella, the reducer. While preparing Sherri for reduction, Stella deliberately and flirtatiously disrobes Sherri by removing her plastic bubble wrapping covering, revealing her beauty. Stella is loving every minute of this! While Sherri turns to Art and struggles to comprehend what is about to happen to her, Stella softly touches Sherri's face and turns Sherri's head in her direction as if to say, "It will be okay. I'll take care of you". Too bad the scene then breaks away to other nonsense. I would have liked to see it develop more.

More music & robots.

a furry future.

Highlight 2: After more nonsense, we then return to the Reduction Chamber and Sherri is all beautifully laid out on the reducing table, completely nude. I found this highly arousing. (So did Sherri - her nipples are erect.) The door to the Chamber opens, Roscoe returns and he orders the reduction of Sherri to "Proceed". Sherri just lays there, shakes her head and closes her eyes, thinking, I can't believe this is happening to me! She is totally vulnerable. Stella then flicks some dials on her console and then looks at Sherri as she pulls the lever to begin Sherri's reduction. Adamson was smart enough to give us an overhead view of Sherri's reduction and as we watch her beautiful figure shrink to about 12 inches in height. She looked beautiful throughout. It is too bad we don't see what happens to her after this scene. She unfortunately is "reduced" right out of the plot. It is also too bad that Adamson didn't have other scenes with other babes getting reduced in the Chamber.

Here's the movie trailer. Pay close attention to the promising narration: