Amityville 3D

Deadly house in 3D.

Horror movies had their golden years in the 70's & 80's. It is of no surprise to anyone than most of the films made in those years are today either considered as classics or as influential films. Even the most obscure films made in those years did have an impact on how late 90's and 2000's directors would tell their stories. Today's entry is of course one of those influential films. 

Amityville 3D is the second sequel to the supposedly fact based thriller The Amityville Horror is a worthy installment in the otherwise wretched series of shockers. Richard Fleischer, a Hollywood veteran brings a skill to the proceedings that were conspicuously absent from the original film, which was more notable for the laughably bad performances of James Brolin and Rod Steiger than it was for inducing chills. The performances in "Amityville 3-D," or "Amityville: the Demon" as it is known on television, didn't deserve Oscar consideration, but they are professional and, in the case of Candy Clark's suspicious photographer, almost inspired.

3D opening titles.

Yes kids, 3D started long before you think.

The movie opens in typical haunted house fashion: a seance is being held in the notorious Long Island house where, in earlier films, toilets backed up (shudder!), marching bands played in the dead of night (shudder again!), and a giant red-eyed pig named Jody roamed the premises and engaged in small talk with children (Babe in an early role?). The seance produces mysterious apparitions and odd noises, all of which are exposed by two of the participants--a reporter and his photographer-- as a hoax. The realtor denies any involvement in the souped-up spookiness and explains to the reporter (Tony Roberts on holiday from Woody Allen's repertory company) that the house's infamous reputation is such that he's willing to sell it at a bargain rate. Roberts, newly divorced and eager for a peaceful environment in which to write his great American novel, buys it, all the while ignoring the warnings of his less courageous colleague, the delightful Miss Clark. Soon after he buys the house the former owner is found dead by Baxter himself inside the house. Although Melanie tries to convince Baxter that his death had to do with the paranormal, he still thinks that the credit people gives to the house about being haunted is something of no real importance and that the former owner's death was a mere coincidence. No more, no less.

Baxter, schepctical of the story behind the house makes the place his home in little time even inviting her daughter Susan to pick a room for whenever she feels like paying a little visit to her dad's. Strangely enough, Susan chooses the room in which the former owner of the house was attacked by hundreds of flies. Later, every single one of Baxter's guests do experience a random paranormal activity. Sadly, her daughter Susan is the one that gets the worse. Although it is not clear if her death (by drowning in a boat trip with her friends) has something to do with the spirit that haunts the house, we are led to believe she becomes trapped within the spirit that lives in the underground well. 

Melanie the photographer at her best.

Forgetting about his scheptical point of view about the paranormal, Baxter calls the group of "experts" that work with him in his paranormal activity magazine to aid him in the search of her daughter's soul (Remember, the conection between her death & the house spirit is not quite clear) So, we have to assume Baxter decided her girl's death by drowning was somehow connected to the house because her wife "saw her" going upstairs to her room completely wet (no, not that kind of wet you kinky pervs) seconds after her friends rescued her from falling to the river. Suddenly and for no clear reason, all of the experts are not surprised of seeing Susan's ghost talking to her mother and telling her to follow her downstairs to the underground deep well. Baxter stated himself in earlier scenes that he and his crew have never found anything when searching for haunted houses in their past so why would you feel so comfy seeing an actual ghost for the first time in your life? man, I wish  I could be that professional when facing uncharted territories for the first time!  

After the ghost does show his true colors he swallows one of Baxter's helpers and the house goes wacko starting to kill every single crew member of the poltergeist event at ease. Of course, Baxter and his wife eventually find a way out of the house that his freezing like the north pole and voilá! it burns and explodes!!

Despite all the plot holes, some talented performers are on view in this film, and if not for their admirable abilities to keep a straight face, the movie would be a lot funnier than it's supposed to be and sometimes is. Roberts is his usual non-plussed self, refusing to accept any supernatural explanations for the bizarre circumstances taking place around him.

This is the ideal house for a divorced men looking to fuck bitches.

I don't want our daughter around that house while you fuck bitches.

The special-effects are adequate, but they do the trick, and probably worked better in 3D, which is the way the film was presented theatrically. The process is evident in the use of so many scenes in which hands are extended toward the camera and, in one scene, a frisbee is tossed directly at the audience.

To purists Amityville 3D will never take its place beside the greats of the horror genre, but neither will its two predecessors. However, unlike those failed shockers, number 3 succeeds on its own modest terms, providing, amid the occasional unintended chuckle, a few moments of genuine suspense and a thrill or two. It's a satisfying spook show on the same level as the William Castle flicks of the late 50s and early 60s ("The Tingler," "House on Haunted Hill," et al). 

However, the film does try to deliver some of the elements that would make a classic horror movie a classic. For instance, the background music plays its own part during most of the movies, turning non scary scenes into the something's-about-to-happen type of scene. Also, a very unique item is introduced in these kinds of movies for the first time which is, if you are meant to die your picture will have your face distorted. Yeah! what some thought for years was a brilliant original idea from japanese director Hideo Nakata and his Ringu trilogy did happen in 1983. By the way, do you remember how Ringu's Sadako was thrown into a deep well? Well, Amityville does have an evil well as well. In fact, it is hidden in the underground floor just like Hideo Nakata's Ringu well was. Coincidence? steal? inspiration? your choice. 

The Ouija game.

The misteryous well & 2 afraid girls.

The acting as stated before may not be award winning quality but it is quite good for the kind of film anyways. Meg Ryan does an early impersonation of a slutty girl who seems very interested in the story behind the house and the new owner (yeah, the clichéd daughter's best friend horny for daddy) But her part is just a minor role. The rest of the cast do a convincing job with a very hard to be convincing kind of script. 

Susan's spirit bubblegum.

The presence that haunts the house.

Anyways, if you are forgiving with a few aspects of the minimum standards of filming & producing movies, this film will entertain you. Just remember it was 1983 and the special effects were very limited in those days (yeah, I'm talking about the well monster scene) 

Here's the movie trailer: