Continuing
with the made for teens exploitation movies, Crown International Pictures took
the original idea of their somehow successful 1978 flick Malibu Beach taking
the best parts of it and updating them into a 1980's style exploitation film,
so enter The Beach Girls, a lame and
misleading title that could make some people have a fit with the image Google
search results they could get, so don't try this at home kids! Coming back from the vast B movies cemetery
this movie makes its way into DVD in the Too
Cool for School 12 movie pack released by Millcreek Entertainment. The pack
itself is a compilation of b movies that follow the same or almost the same
scheme of teenage wasted, teenage fucked plot.
Fortunately
the film makers of The Beach Girls
delivered an unpretentious flick. The only lesson it pretends to teach you is
that the more sex and marijuana you have the happier you will be.
The opening titles.
a Literal reference to a cumshot.
A blonde & booze, a sex formula.
Oh yeah, cars and willing boys.
So, the
story follows three girls that get their talons on a beach house owned by
someuncle named Carl. The uncle and aunt
are away, and the girls decide to have a huge bash. Unfortunately, one of the
girls has a severe hang-up: she's too frigid to have sex with her boyfriend.
She boozes it up and enjoys the pot but can't seem to sum up the will power to
go all the way with her horny dog. The uncle comes back and lays down the law
and the two girls to whom he is not related by blood (thank goodness) decide to
seduce him and push joints on him to make him comfortable. The big lug falls
for it. But what will happen when his wife arrives? Here's where the plot
thickens. A drug running captain dumps his whole cargo of stash (which is in
large hefty bags) and it washes up just outside the beach girls' house. They're
not ones to look a gift horse in the mouth. It's like manna, man. But the
captain wants it back...
Beatiful girls.
More beatiful girls.
Yeah, that's it.
More tits.
Boobs.
...The captain
locates the marijuana and he and his crew, armed with real bang-guns, come to
get it back, right at the point where everyone, including the aunt (or whoever
she is) and uncle, the cops, and anyone who happens to be passing by, is
partying on the beach (partying seems to consist of bounding up and down on the
balls of your feet and waving your arms like you're dancing, until couples
break off for a little sex). The marijuana gets dumped on the bonfires and
everyone mellows. The uptight girl has sex with her boyfriend, the captain and
crew throw down their guns and party hearty with the cops . . . They all just
mellow out and groove, so that's it, that's the way to make a simple movie a funny moment.
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