Nude Nuns with Big Guns

Boobs, Blood and Nuns!

Hello there fellow SPAM Alternative avid readers, today I'm pleased to say that the exploitation genre has been out for some fresh air, and ever since Quentin Tarantino & Robert Rodríguez released their Grindhouse double feature (Death Proof & Planet Terror) independent film makers are craving for bringing back the sleazy 70's spirit the best they can, so from today on we will check some interesting 21st century approaches at the genre we love so much: exploitation! 

Enter, Nude Nuns with Big Guns! I mean, the title tells all!

My kind of nurse.

It's been a while since I could forgo the details of a film's plot and just reiterate the title for reference. But that is exactly the shortcut I could take with today's entry Nude Nuns with Big Guns. The film, as directed by Joseph Guzman is about, well, nude nuns with big guns. More specifically, it follows Sister Sarah (Asun Ortega) who after becoming a nun is drugged and forced into a world of crime by the corrupt priests and padres of the clergy (mmm, where have I heard this story before?)

This is how you trasform a young nun into a slut.

But after a near fatal encounter, Sister Sarah receives a message from God, one that tells her to kill every last one of those that exploit drugs, the church or any of the innocent workers of the clergy. Lucky for us, a chance encounter leaves Sister Sarah with a big gun, one big enough to help her do God's work in the most violent and exploitive ways possible. As Sarah sets off to religiously 'off' anyone that looks at her funny, the church hires a bike gang called 'Los Muertos' to track down Sister Sarah and stop her before she brings down the entire drug running operation.

The titty Flicker!

Nude Nuns with Big Guns is undeniably 70's sexploitation brought to us with 2010 orchestrated violence. There are equal parts nudity and violence and there is plenty of each to keep audiences grinning from ear to ear with each new character introduction. Just about every female character but one bares her breasts for the film and I, for one, am a better man because of it. Sister Sarah in particular has no qualms about doing scenes involving full nudity between all her gunslinging and brain blasting. Priests, nuns, bikers, lesbians…no one is safe once this sister straps herself with a sizeable firearm.

There is a semblance of a story in Nude Nuns with Big Guns, but the plot goes in usual directions ensuring that what it lacks in originality as a revenge flick it makes back up in sheer audacious and gratuitous nudity and violence.

Nun Treesome.

Before a good old christian fuck, breakfast is an important meal to start the nuns' day.

Asun Ortega is competent (and evidently confident) in the lead role and everyone involved in the production hams up their part with just enough cheese and lack of seriousness that the film actually works as a watchable piece of exploitation.

Director Joseph Guzman takes a major step forward from his 2009 debut in Run! Bitch Run! While both Run and Nuns are of the same genre that Robert Rodriguez succesfuly tried to capture with 2010's Machete, Guzman has shown a maturity with both the camera and with the promotion of lurid subject matters, so if you consider yourself a connoisseur of the exploitation genre, I guarantee you will find plenty of nostalgia here, at least enough nostalgia to make you say "wow, this movie looks and feels like the real thing". Joseph Guzmán didn't waste any of his exploitation knowledge, in fact I think he took the best elements of his personal favorite genre flicks and mixed them  with the cult cinema clichés we never get tired of. 

Nudity is what drives this movie. Every actress has at least one or two scenes where their boobs are at display for (of course) no reason at all. We do get to see some bush too, you see, sister Sarah is not afraid of anything as God is on her side and by her side all along. 
 

Lesbian Nun Killing Action!

Lesbian Nun Nude Redemption.

Overall, Nude Nuns with Big Guns isn't for everyone, but it is for everyone that reads the title of the film before putting it into the DVD player or downloading through VOD. It is guaranteed to entertain while titillating and it proves that exploitation films are alive and can work given the right exposure and attention. However, the film doesn't an original plot if that's what you're looking for. Instead, the film does deliver plenty of fun paying a fair homage to the 70's exploitation genre, I mean, just think of it, a raped, drugged woman left for dead looking for revenge, doesn't that remind you of many 70's exploitation films?

If classic exploitation is your thing, you have probably already seen this film, and if you haven't now it's the time as the film is fully available on VOD and good old DVD and full HD Blu Ray for your viewing pleasure.

Next entries will take us deep into "Father's Day" & "Dear God No!" probably the 2 most important releases that certify the exploitation genre is back from the grave.

Here's the movie trailer: