Today's reviews will be brief, not because I'm almost leaving to visit the circus in town, but because they have poor plot lines, and you know the acting is nothing too good to be discussing it as if we were dealing with a real movie. Not complaining! I like B-movies and this time I'd say there were some exploitation moments in both of them.
NIGHT CLUB (1990)
Nightclub is probably the worst movie I've seen in my entire life to date. It tries to have a plot about a sci-fi writer who's willing to start up a new business in the world of sex, so he's borrowed money from some "supposed" gangsters to buy a huge warehouse. The rest of the movie is him, having pointless discussions with his girlfriend (played by Elizabeth Kaitan) and then after the break ups, all make ups come with sex.
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| Elizabeth Kaitan, performing the same in every movie she was in |
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| Elizabeth Kaitan when she became famous in "Friday the 13th" |
CLICK, THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER (1990)
Movie number two allowed to have this theory about Crown International Pictures (the producers of most of the movies I've reviewed recently) and that theory is that they were going out of business, since exploitation was a thing of the past, plus even low budget movies were evaluated by the quality of the acting, filming and content, so there was no room for the Crown pals no more.
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| Miss playboy Donna Speir introducing the film |
So, The movie is basically about a deranged transvestite nurse killing bimbo models during a closed fashion shoot in the California desert. But is the nurse connected to the deranged, violence-obsessed photographer who's putting on the shoot? Well, I don't want to ruin it, but it ruins itself pretty well.
The movie starts with a gratuitous nude scene, and for that matter, a completely gratuitous appearance by former Playmate Dona Speir. She completely disappears afterwards though when the action shifts out to the desert. There's plenty of other bimbos to be had, however, including future "Baywatch" babe Traci Dali. I have to wonder about the reviewers who say these girls are "unattractive"--if they happen to be personally dating MORE attractive girls than these, then they're definitely wasting their time reviewing crap movies on the internet. The girls are definitely very sexy both in and out of their skimpy bikinis, but--trust me here--this movie has absolutely NOTHING else going for it. Has-been matinée idol Troy Donahue and never-really-was character actor Ross Hagen are functional at best. The plot is generic and stupid. The visuals are cheap and uninspired. And the music is downright execrable.
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| A girl getting killed by the Nurse |
This might be worth seeing for fifty cents, but it's definitely not worth a penny more.
The plot line? oh I forgot it! haha, well the plot line is about a photographer who's willing to have his masterpiece calendar with chicks with guns. As he gets dissapointed every time he shoots his camera he becomes this transvestite nurse (with flashback from his childhood being punished by some nurse) which wants to get rid of every single model he works with for uhmmm no apparent reasons at all.
There's also the good guy, which will confront him by the end of the movie but still, it's worth fifty cents only.
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| Another pointless exploitation scene |
So that's it for today! I stil have some more B movies to rate and within a month I'll go into the European exploitation movie class ,so Christina Lindberg and Lina Romay will be constantly mentioned from then on and oh! also the first Sissy Spacek film and some more.
Stay Tuned!
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