Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

There will be blood once more.

Did you think I would miss the chance of posting a Friday the 13th review on a Friday the 13th? No fucking way! In the past we've reviewed the first four films of the saga, 1980's original Friday the 13th, 1981's Friday the 13th part II, 1982' Friday the 13th part III 3D, and 1984's Friday the 13th part IV: The Final Chapter. The fourth installment in the Jason Voorhees saga was supposed to be the real final chapter but calling it quits with the most promising slasher character of all time proved to be an impossible thing to do, spawning a lot of sequels, a sequel and even a crossover with a Nightmare on Elm Street's Freddy Kruger. 

The status of Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning as the least popular film in the series has always frustrated and perplexed me. Masterfully directed by Danny Steinmann, it is a supremely entertaining exploitation slasher film. The most common reasons given seem to be: (a) there's not enough gore (b) the story is stupid/the acting isn't very good (c) Jason isn't in the movie(oops! spoiler!). Of course, none of these explanations is valid. First of all, if gore alone is your litmus test to determine whether or not a film is enjoyable, you should probably steer clear of the entire Friday The 13th series, as well as any movie that has been subjected to the wacky ratings system and experienced a wide theatrical release. Go watch… I don't know… a Guinea Pig film. A New Beginning has as much gore as any of the Friday films. If a strong plot and acting of the highest caliber is important to you… well, let's be honest, criticizing A New Beginning for its silly plot is like dismissing Van Gogh because you don't like the color yellow. You're missing the point. Yes, I sort of understand the complaint that Jason isn't in the movie, as he is my favorite of the classic maniacs. (Cropsy, Marty, Michael Meyers, and Angela round out the top five.) But his absence alone shouldn't ruin the whole movie for you. I'd rather watch an entertaining movie that alludes to, yet doesn't feature the actual Jason, as opposed to a boring movie that completely screws up his mythology. (Here's a clue. It comes after VIII and before X.)

Teens, Jason's favorite meal.

Look at this mess!

Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning works because it takes the elements that make a good slasher film and completely exaggerates them. All irony aside, A New Beginning is a trashy, sleazy, exploitative masterpiece. The very premise of having "Jason" hack up a group of mentally-ill teens, which includes two nymphomaniacs, an angry sociopath, a chocolate loving man child, a new-wave goth who likes to dance, and a stutterer, is indicative of the sick-minded, oozy greatness of this movie. Jesus, I haven't even touched upon the mother-son hillbilly biker duo or Demon! This movie has more great characters than the entire Halloween series combined! Are you not entertained by Demon in his "sh*tbox" singing "Oooh, Oooh, Baby…. Oooh, Oooh, Baby" to his sexy girlfriend before being impaled? How could this be? Are you made of stone? Are you? Do you not enjoy watching Violet, who is the most uniquely attractive female in the entire Friday series, do the robot to Pseudo Echo before being killed? I love her with all my heart. What about Ethel and Junior, the most vile, hate-filled, "loony" hating hicks to ever interact with a stained voyeur-drifter? Junior's decapitation, after being pummeled by Tommy following a prank which consisted of shining a light in his eyes, is a fitting end for the angry dullard. Oh, and Vic? The greatest red herring in slasher history. He violently kills Joey after the overweight stereotype accuses him of being "out of line." Harsh words from a strange man!

The number of kills in this movie dwarf the previous Friday record. (Subsequent sequels had more, but, with the exception of Jason X… another unjustly maligned classic… not by much.) The fact that most of these kills are peripheral to the story, unnecessary, and hilarious only adds to their quality. Case in point, the hideously obnoxious, cocaine-addicted mental health worker Billy who picks up Lana the waitress at the diner. She who proceeds to get naked while saying "It's showtime!" to herself in the mirror. You don't see the entertainment value in that, my friends? Following this odd display, a cat bafflingly drops from above and bounces clumsily and hard off a booth. It was a cheap shock and laugh at the same time! Shortly thereafter, Billy and Lana are both killed with enough blood to make it all worthwhile. That entire scene is mesmerizing. And let's not forget the two jerks with the broken down car who appear earlier in the film. They're greasers! Greasers! 

This is a nice idea for a Mortal Kombat move.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I watch slasher films not for genuine scares or insightful twists, but to be entertained. And I am usually entertained by their exploitative depths, bloody action, nudity, uniquely stupid characters, and the basest nihilism of it all. I simply cannot see how anyone could argue A New Beginning doesn't contain every single one of these qualities in excess. It's a sleazy, vicious, offensive slasher that epitomizes everything that makes the genre popular. The time has come to re-evaluate this amazing film and give Steinmann the credit he deserves. 

What else? oh sure! let me explain my point. Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning features a fresh plot that can easily revive what Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter promised to finish off.  Unlike previous films from the franchise, people know about Jason Voorhees and his infamous Crystal Lake murders, so that allows writers to come up with an unexpected new approach. Since, our characters are all part of a mental recovery program far from the city, they all hold a darker side in their personalities, specially, our main character Tommy Jarvis (played by John Shepherd and 80's star Corey Feldman in the flashback opening scene) who in the past witnessed the return of Jason Voorhees and escaped by killing him. Obviously, this traumatized him and turn into an unstable person who likes making horror movies masks just for the fun of it. Oh! let's not forget he's constantly attacked by Jason in vivid visions that fade with medical aid only. Could he be connected to Jason? Could he be the re-incarnation of Jason? Watch the movie!

Brave boobs.

A fight to the death!

The rest of the characters don't seem to be as troubled as Tommy is but, this movie is full of surprises. As a matter of fact, there is a key scene that, when watching it for the first time, you would never guess how fucking important it is in the climax.  Melanie Kinnaman, plays Pam, the blonde bombshell who's in charge of the recovery center, and as you can see in the photos above this paragraph, she's not afraid of getting wet while fighting for her life, while showing you her perfectly round tits. 

Anyways, this film would mark the return of the saga to healthy sands and the story told here was supposed to allow more sequels, which in a way, did happen but with changes that I believe, grounded the idea presented here. This is a 1985 movie so I doubt there would be any necessity of giving you spoiler warnings. As stated in the second and third paragraph, Jason Voorhees came back to life BUT he was killed by a 12 year old version of Tommy Jarvis. In F13th Part V, the killer is not the original Jason Voorhees, in fact, the murderer is nothing but a convenient mockery  at the original killer in order to distract the police and scare the victims with ease. 

Does this bikini make me look like a girl to kill for?

In the mood for murderous nudity.

The climax of F13th Part V, offers an open ending that would set the rules for the following sequels but, for Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives,  the script was changed and instead of following what started in Part V, they listened to haters and trolls who bashed part V for not featuring the real Jason Voorhees. To me, in a personal level, the franchise died with Part V, as the sequels ended up being PG rated self parodies that had nothing new to offer but a huge chunk of plot holes and terrible acting that sank Voorhees under Crystal lake for good. 

a PG rated slasher? yes, you read that right, Part VI, VII & VIII were all PG rated films lacking everything that makes a slasher film, a slasher film! no gory murders!, no sex, no gratuitous nudity, no plot twists, no goose bumps, no nothing. So, if you're still one of the few people who haven't watched F13th Part V, please do it as soon as you can, you won't regret it, the story is good enough to keep from falling asleep, and the slasher cliches are all there. 

it's a nice morning for some swallowing some jizz.

Mirror, mirror.

Overall, Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning is the sequel that had it all to take the story to new frontiers, while keeping most of the elements that made the previous films so popular. Nevertheless, since Part V is part of a list of sequels, the movie seems to be out of place only because it doesn't actually feature Jason Voorhees, and by the way it ends, which fosters the chance of a new killer inheriting the infamous hockey mask. Hardcore fans bashed it, producers listened, and they made disastrous sequels featuring the original Jason Voorhees just because. 

Anyways, have a nice Friday the 13th and be careful, there could be a Jason wannabe out there tonight!

Here's the movie trailer: