When we find ourselves in the middle of the celebration season I have nothing left to do but to look for a movie that celebrates the exploitation genre by paying homage to the long forgotten bikers movie genre. Hell Ride, a movie from 2008 written, directed and starred by Larry Bishop is nothing but a compilation of the many clichés that made exploitation such a commercial success back in the 60's & 70's. The film doesn't add anything new to the genre, so while you may find thousands of negative reviews about this flick I tell you, there was a reason for having Quentin Tarantino himself presenting the movie: Exploitation Fandom. This movie is not for average people, it is meant to be enjoyed by the connoisseurs of the genre, so if you have no clue about the golden years of the exploitation genre you will definitely not like the movie at all. However it is my filthy job to help you understand this entertaining tribute Hell Ride is.
Michael Madsen is a great actor, he does a great job, he's experienced.
Tough guys will be tough guys.
Honestly, as someone literally stated at the IMDB forums "God Bless Quentin Tarantino for commissioning Lary Bishop to make this
movie" It's about time somebody made a real biker movie again, but amped up to
even more sleazy, ridiculous, and glorious levels than anything
produced during the Golden Age of the Bikers movies released between 1966 and 1974. I
would put this one up there with The Wild Angels as one of the best
biker flicks ever put to celluloid.
The plot and storyline are quite simple, tight, and move like Speed Racer's Mach 5: fast! It's a short movie and it flies by. Every frame is filled
with action, menace and bad-ass attitude. All the characters are
interesting and well-portrayed, if sleazy, intense, and uncompromising.
There's plenty of sex and the body count is high, but none of it feels
gratuitous: these are violent people walking a razor's edge, tieing up
lose ends that have been plaguing their lives for many decades. It's
all an organic part of the tale, and damn! dames are hot in this one.
Fuck that ass dude!
The opening titles feature nude sluts & sex, my kind of movie!
Asian Twat
Larry Bishop pulls off the lead role with cool detachment, and Michael
Madsen is great, doing what he does best, all cocky swagger and easy
dominance of the screen. Great performances all around. David Carradine
doesn't have much to do, but at least he is here. Great to see Dennis
Hopper on a motorcycle once again! Wearing the fringe jacket! Maybe for
the last time? I hope not.
Do notice the trademarked Tarantino shot of looking up from inside the
small enclosed box. I guess Larry got permission from Quentin to do
that. Or maybe Quentin himself filmed it; I believe he did a small
amount of second-unit shooting on this film. You'll know it when you
see it, it's in the last scene of the movie. I just had to laugh when I
saw that shot. The Tarantino stamp all the way. If I didn't know any
better, I could have been convinced that Q. actually directed this
joint.
Sex Parties!
Lovely pussies.
Fuck that ass man!
Girls wear clothes for a while in the film.
If you are in any way, shape or form, a fan of biker movies, or Quentin
Tarantino, or extreme film-making, or classic drive-in movie fare, you
MUST check out this ride. This is one HELL RIDE you will not soon
forget. The DVD and Blu-Ray are very cheap at Amazon's online store so go and get while you can!
Today we return to the more classic aproach our blog has: Cult movies. Our target will be to review a long list of films starred by the golden italian couple: Terence Hill & Bud Spencer, absolute masters of action, comedy and everything in between. How can I describe these guys without stating I fucking love their movies? I don't know, it beats me. I remember being a kid when all of their fantastic movies were being released worldwide and connoissuers were milking tons of fun out of these great, great guys.
I was introduced to these guys a little later, since I was born in 1981 it was quite impossible for me to check this flicks in a movie theater. However, my dad was a Terence Hill/Bud Spencer enthusiast, so naturally he got me into their stuff at quite an early stage in my life. Back then when I was around the 8 to 10 years old age range, local TV had a couple of wonderful programs that were taking cult movies to the masses, so, I had the chance of watching most of their films in the idiot box. In those days I was ok with censorship, in fact I didn't even think about it. Today, of course, I long to watch movies in its entirety, as they were meant to be. I guess it is compelling for me, to thank once more my awesome dad for leading me into a world of cult movies that were unknown to me.
I eat light.
Not your average Coppers Couple.
You scum!
Anyways, let's get down to business I do know this blog ain't my diary sonny.What can we expect from this Italian exploitation gem? Dave Speed, an ex-cop, is in the midst of his
4th death penalty attempt. They have tried to gas, hang and shoot him.
We then go into a flashback to how Dave is in his current predicament.
Dave (played by our master Mr.Terence Hill) is a freshly graduated cadet on his first
assignment. This happens to be a Hulk-like origin story, where Dave
gets caught in some sort of "radioactive test". Apparently the detonation of red
plutonium occurs on Indian Reservatations. Thats how witty keeps us
down. Everyone assumes Dave is dead and his superior ,Sgt. Willy
Dunlop, (played by the ever prolific Ernest Borgnine) is demoted to
traffic cop because of it. Dunlop is old (should have been retired
years ago), overweight, very excitable, tends to yell and does not
easily believe his own senses. Borgnine's acting ability tends to run
the gamut from horribly bad to good. His performance as Willy Dunlop is
painful. There should be some rules about using Borgnine as a torture
device. It should be outlawed. It gets even worse when Borgnine gets
cheerfully chipper.
Apparently the test/accident has bestowed Dave with what appears to be
limitless powers. Powers such as :
invulnerability, telekinesis , "spider sense" like intuition, x-ray vision, water walking, faster than a speeding car, walk on walls, fixing horse races, pool sharking, racketeering, superior lung capacity, hypnotic suggestion/mind control.
Weaknesses : the color red.
Hi, little fella.
You see I'm a super cop.
I missed Bud Spencer in this flick.
He uses his newly found powers to solve crimes, to the surprise and
confusion of Sgt. Dunlop. Dunlop seems to like the results of all this
success, but doesn't like the explanation of why and how. Dave sets his
sights on organized crime run by Torpedo (played by Marc Lawrence). Torpedo is running a counterfeit money operation,
with Dunlop's favorite starlet, Rosy Labouche. Torpedo tries and frames
Dave for the death of Borgnine. That is the reason he's on death row.
Exploitation is definitely the genre to classify this movie, cause it doesn't really deliver what is promised in the movie poster. The whole vibe you get from the movie has nothing to do with The Dark Knight kind of mood, instead it is quite campy, just like the sixties Batman TV show...So, the movie is kind of a superhero parody. The problem is that these elements make the movie look & feel silly at times, being campy is one thing, but being silly is a completely different thing. Why am I stating this? well, because I know there are all sorts of movie enthusiasts, not just the cult movie lovers. Terence Hill & Bud Spencer movies were always meant to be PG rated exploitation flicks, they neither had extreme violence, moral issues nor nudity and sex scenes. Everything these guys did was entertaining all audiences. Perhaps back then some, just some scenes were to be considered as not meant for all audiences, but according to today's standards Disney could definitely distribute Terence Hill & Bud Spencer movies.
Frozen.
Italian Fashion Style.
Overall, this movie is definitely not for the faint of heart or the
newly indoctrinated to the Italian exploitation genre or the exploitation genre in general, however I recommend it to everyone that knows a good movie is the one that entertains, and Superfuzz definitely entertains despite its minor flaws.
Since I'm a few hours away from my birthday I chose to post my favorite movie, which is not an exploitation flick as many would think. Today's entry is about the most beatiful heartfelt and yet entertainingly funny movie ever made about a family getting through, and you know what? I love my family, and I do command you to love your family too, they're all that matters in life after all. Little Miss Sunshine, a masterpiece released in 2006 is a perfect sinergy movie: The best acting talents, a great script, original storytelling, even more original characters, awesome photography, vintage vibes, comedy, an outstanding soundtrack and best of all a lesson we should all live & teach.
What's great about this movie is the way a simple main story tells us plenty more of human issues from birth to death. Characters are all written to represent a different human issue in a different stage of life. That's what makes this movie so great, because it doesn't focus our attention into one single main character as a whole and only significant element like many films use to do these days. The main story follows the steps of a not so disfunctional family that goes after the one goal her youngest member pursuits: Becoming Little Miss Sunshine at all costs. So, instead of talking about the storyline from start to finish as I use to do, I will talk about the characters and the topic they represent instead.
A visual representation of the heart of the family.
The happiness of innocence.
Little Olive Hoover:
She's the youngest most innocent character in the movie. Her goal is to become the next little miss sunshine to become a professional model. Her character represents the idea of being a kid: Innocence. Being innocent means we're not afraid, we have no prejudices of any kind, and we see life as a big game which wants us to enjoy and be happy at all times. She's definitely the element that binds the family together.
Richard Hoover:
Richard is the man in the family, he's the father of Little Olive & Dwayne and the husband of Sheryl Hoover. His character represents the word "effort" literally, he's not a quitter he's a guy convinced of his abilites, he wants to win, he wants to make it. Of course, that's something he's not really good at, he goes by the book all the time giving advices, making him look a little arrogant at times. He's afraid of failing, afraid of not making it. He doesn't want to dissapoint her wife & kids.
One goal: Together.
"Are you sure you wanna do this, we still love you"
Dwayne Hoover:
The teenager in the family. He represents teenage obsessions. He has made a pact to himself to not speaking to anyone until he fulfills his dream as an airpilot. He's obsessed with everything Nietzche's related, and his ideas, thoughts and actions are all determined but what he reads about his mentor. He's definitely the flesh & bones representation of a teenage looking to fit into the world with a personality of his own, defined by his idols. A typical teenage case.
Frank Gingsberg:
Sheryl's brother. He's a succesful university teacher specialized in literature & lingüstics, he's the self proclaimed n°1 smart brain around town. The problem, if that can be called a problem is that he's completely gone mad because his boyfriend left him for another more interesting man. That causes him to try to commit suicide, failing miserably. He's not a man of actions, he's a man of words, useless. He impersonates the kind of adult that wants to be smart, look smart & be succesful to others, unfortunately he's just the opposite of that impersonation. He's helped by his sister and becomes a part of the Hoover pack on their way to Olive's beauty contest. He's the living example of someone that spent a life telling others what to do but never had the time to tell himself what to do about his own issues. He becomes healed once he accepts life goes on.
Grandpa Edwin Hoover:
The elder are always thought to be the wisest of the pack, is this the case? I don't know for sure, but one thing for sure is that he's not willing to live in a retirement house as society tells him to live at his age. So, yeah he smokes cracks, sniffs coke, fucks sluts, likes barely legal teens and curses all the time. He represents a man who spent his life by the book and one day woke up feeling he didn't do a shit for his life. He impersonates the following "It is never too late to do what you wanna do" He also coaches little Olive a dancing number for the Little Miss Sunshine contest.
Gee, I wish I had one of those VWs!
Run for your goals.
Sheryl Hoover:
The mother, the wife, the woman. She's a simple woman, and that doesn't mean she doesn't do anything important in the film. She's the family keeper, she controls every mess made by her family and her character keeps everything cool brothers.
So yeah, Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris directed a timeless masterpiece, a movie that tells you to stick together with the ones you care about no matter how many difficulties you find on your way to hapiness.
Today, I'll switch from the usual exploitation cult movie to a much deeper film, that is strongly related with my home country: Chile. And as soon it'llbe my birthday I chose to look for a rather emotional film to review this week instead of the lead kind of films I review very often. Violeta se Fue a los Cielos,or Violeta Went to heaven in English, but more accurately I would translate it simply as Violeta Passed Away; it makes more sense according to the English language context & meaning, anyways, it's a chilean movie about the not only most reknown folk musician there has ever been in Chile but also about one of the most important latin american folk musicians there has ever been. Period. For the unaware audiences Violeta Parra spent her entire life trying to fulfill one goal: to keep the chilean folklore music & traditions alive through a vast documentation made by herself alone in many trips from northern to southern Chile. She was looking forward to record as many folklore songs as she could, so that everyone in the country had a chance to listen to the original folklore music carved in forgotten small towns and eldest family traditions.
One thing you have to keep in mind is that this film looks and feels better for those aware of Violeta Parra's life. Seeing it not knowing a damn thing about her life may give the wrong impression of a movie that seems to be composed of several pieces that do not make sense most of the times. In case you feel like watching the movie, but don't have a clue about who Violeta Parra you can start your bookworm research right here.
Francisca Gavilan is Violeta Parra.
The book in which the movie is based.
Now let's get down to business and discuss the movie. Violeta se Fue a los Cielos, was released this year in September (due to the national chilean day being commemorated in September) and directed by chilean reknowned film maker Andrés Wood (the guy behind Machuca & Gringuito, two of the most popular & succesful chilean films abroad) He's best known for filming movies that deal with key elements to Chilean culture, for instance Machuca was about the 1973 coup d'etat while Gringuito was about the way our country relates to foreign people. Now his latest effort takes us back to the 49 years Violeta Parra lived in our world. She commited suicide in 1967 when she was 49. Andrés Wood effort is close enough as to pay good and respectful homage to Violeta Parra's legacy. He based his movie in the Violeta se Fue a los Cielos book, written by Angel Parra (Violeta's son) However, we can't expect to have a movie that depicts every single chapter written in the book, that's just too much to ask for in a movie that runs an hour and fourty minutes.
The story starts with Violeta's early childhood, where we see her father teaching, playing some music and dying, inherting Violeta his guitar. So begins the legend. A long trip through Chile documenting the hidden folklore with her notebooks and instruments. A trip that would lead her into Europe to promote her music, the chilean music & her talent as a plastic artist, a painter, a weaver and mostly a woman who lived too much in a single life. Another good element is the poverty in wich she was raised, but that's quite a simple thing to do, so you don't need to be a great film maker to do so.
An Emotive scene.
The Artist.
She actually plays the guitar & sing.
The problem I had with the movie is that it exploits mostly her darker side, her issues with love, society and everything in between. We see too little about her music, her paintings and mostly her entire art and that is wrong, cause she was who se was because of her art, something the idiotic hipster film maker wasn't quite able to understand. However there are some good elements that do depict her humble character, her nature born talent when composing new songs, her strong obsession with love and some hints about her social say in those days Chile.
The movie didn't do justice for Violeta's legacy. a Pity.
Violeta's surviving family members had mixed opinions, and so did I. The movie is quite unfair to Violeta Parra's life, she wasn't a suicidal freak, she didn't act randomly as a weirdo, she wasn't a monster, she was more human than many people around the globe. I thank my parents for raising me listening to her music, she's definitely the greatest chilean artist of all times. Period.
Here's the movie trailer:
Overall a fair movie, neither a good movie, nor a bad movie, just average stuff. International markets won't buy it, it is just too chilean to be understood by everyone. The most interesting element though, is the great lead role by Francisca Gavilán. Thumbs up to her! The film is just a standard famous artist biography, uncomplete, overblown and clichéd. The actress sings, but certainly can't play the guitar and that's a fail moment of the film! you can't be listening to a guitar riff and arpeggio while she's playing a fake chord! you just can't! The movie is a mirror version of Gus Van Sant's Last Days, where we find ourselves with an insane Kurt Cobain that is barely comprehensible for audiences, both aware & unaware.
Continuing with perhaps one of the most popular sexploitation German saga of all times: Schulmädchen Report, we set our minds into part 4, probably along with part 3, the most interesting to watch from the whole saga, which like any other movie franchise ended up becoming a mockery of itself where repetition in the sequels doomed the legacy of the first four films.
Schoolgirl Report Volume 4, was also known as Campus Swingers and Barely Innocent, but the correct title was Schoolgirl Report 4: What Drives Parents To Despair. Released some time around 1972 and once again directed by Ernst Hofbauer, the man who would direct most of the Schulmädchen films.
Interracial Teen Sex.
School Sluts.
So, the big question is what does a part 4 have to offer compared to the
first three films? Well, it has young looking girls barely over the age
they're depicting, in opposite to the 40 something years old porn stars
with gigantic breast implants pretending to look like school girls, so
that's something we do appreciate from this saga, and like no other
feature, I'm sure seeing these cuties won't get anyone tired. The girls
are fresh and
nubile girl-next-door types. Probablye the fresh adition is the swedish
erotica starlet Christina Lindberg, who was just in her early 20's
then, and by now, of course, is old enough to be the mother of someone
like you and I.
Schoolgirl Report 4, like the rest of these films, it's made up
of a number of sexy short stories supposedly based on what real-life
German teenagers of the
day were up to. In the first story, an attractive senior is flunking
math. So what can she do to get her strict male teacher to give her a
passing grade? In another story a creep guy disguises himself
as a doctor so he can give "check-ups" to naive teenage girls home
alone (which would never work in America where doctors don't make
house-calls even if you call them). This gives one horny young couple
an idea of how they can get together right under their parents' noses.
Then there is a sensitive story of interracial relationships and
gratuitous shower scenes. Finally the most controversial story has the
aforementioned Christina Lindberg playing a girl who's in love with her
brother (naughty, naughty). Despite the appalling lack of taste here, Lindberg as always
is the quintessential actress for these kind of films since she had the
fresh, innocent face of an 18-year-old virgin and the voluptuous body
of a burlesque era stripper, but no implants added at all, natural boobs, natural ass & natural bushy pink.
Teen Bush.
Timeless Universal Humour.
Christina Lindberg's Incest Story.
Christina Lindberg, the greatest.
More Christina Lindberg.
The Alternate movie title poster.
I would recommend this for all the exploitation enthusiasts everywhere. You can still find this film at online stores or video rental stores. Some editions come dubbed with a very hilarious English, some other editions come with the original German language plus the correspondent English subs. But movies like this
will also certainly appeal to ANYONE who enjoys undraped females, as
well as people like me who might watch sex films more ironically.
Movies like this may have "driven parents to despair" in 1970's
Germany, but they're sure a whole lot of fun today, besides if they really wanted to make a controversial films saga why didn't they include real sex scenes, why didn't they make a porn saga with these kind of stories? I'm pretty sure back in the day when the porn entertainment was in its rise, no one would have complained either.
Continuing with the Schoolgirl Report saga, we find our way through the third instalment known as Schoolgirl Report 3: What Parents Find Unthinkable.Ernst Hofbahuer returns as the movie director, only this time he's co-directing with Walter Boos. Part 3 is probably the most controversial film from the saga, which on the one hand could be interpreted as the European openmindness doing its thing, or on the other hand as a degenerate acted display of sexual abuse we don't want to see anywhere in the world. However we do have to remember that these movies were never intended to be an educational effort for crowded audiences, so there are no consistent elements depicting the things we should and should not do. Besides, the interviews are kind of boring in the third instalment, they just feel too predictable, so you won't buy the "reality" fiction in display during the movie.
Blonde Teen Nipples.
a Teen tennis player.
Making out teens.
70's Teen Fashion.
The schoolgirl skirt classic.
The student/teacher fantasy returns.
A funny thing about this movie was that when Synapse Films finally got their hands on parts 1 to 8 of the Schoolgirl Report, they had censorship issues when releasing the Schoolgirl Report #3 DVD, so they had to edit the original 96 minutes version to 76 minutes, getting rid of the most polemic stories which I will be unveiling a few lines later, so in case you were wondering why everytime you search through Amazon you find your way with 2 different DVD covers is because the censored edition is still available in many online stores and real stores around the globe, while the uncut, uncensored edition is only available at online stores. If we look at the former Schoolgirl Report films, we can easily state they're naive & funny compared to today's standards while Schoolgirl Report #3 does come with some stories that we still find shocking in our today's standards.
The third of twelve films in the German Schulmadchen-Report continues the same kind of mood established by the original part 1 & 2, so if you've seen them before, you already know what to
expect as this series tries to pass itself off as an "educational movie"
warning parents about what their teenagers might be doing in regards to
various sexual situations involving not only teens this time, but involving a lot more shocking stories.
Perfect Teen ass riding some cock.
Teen titties.
Teen Bush.
Teen Pool Sex.
Teen Car Sex.
Teen Blondes Bedtime.
We get the typical stories of fantasy girls sneaking
out to have sex, younger girls going after older men and even a Romeo
and Juliet type story but the controversial were definitely the
most talked about for years to come. The first of the big three has a girl getting gang
raped in her school bathroom but the adults just won't believe her and
instead they sort of lead her into prostitution.
The next story has a teenage
girl catching her father in bed with another woman because her mother
is ill and away in a hospital. Wanting to keep her father with her
mother, the girl decides to start sleeping with her dad, yes, you read it right an incest story, though being acted, still you feel kinda creepy when watching it.
The third of
these "bad" stories centers on a 15-year-old girl who sees her older
sister having sex and it gets her interested so she sneaks into the
shower with her 10-year-old cousin. OK, the first two stories probably won't
bother you that much because you expect that sort of nastiness when it
comes to exploitation, which this series is. If someone actually
believes these are "learning" movies then I guess you will be shocked.
More Teen Sex.
"Lemme check your tits little girl"
"Don't worry Sr. Cum with me"
"Aren't you gonna fuck the little ol' me"
Father, Daughter, Lover & Boyfriend.
"I'm cumming in the woods baby"
The third story with the young kids, along with the gang bang & incest stories that led publishers to censor the scenes from the international release on home DVD, and voila, they cut them good.However, considering this is a fictional movie, I don't think they had to cut the Gang Bang & Incest stories, which were acted by adult actors and actresses. The one that really gave me the creeps was the kids story because it's obvious both kids are underage I mean, come on! the boy
hasn't even hit puberty! Seeing them to "playing around", even though
there's never any real touching scene, is just too creepy to watch. Probably the kids were great actors, but still it's very shocking.
Despite the uncensored edition, you can still watch the international edition without the most schocking stories. Anyways, I still enjoyed the movie overall
as we get sexy stories, stupid interviews with people off the street
and countless other sexploitation scenes that come off fresh even in
the third film. Next entry will be about part 4, and until some time soon the missing parts will eventually be reviewed once I watch them first.
As a pre-christmas gift the full movie is here in two parts:
