Schoogirl Report #1

The Cool DVD Cover.

Today we enter into the most important sexploitation saga Germany has ever produced to date. Schulmädchen Report,  AKA  Schoolgirl Report, a movie that would spawn nine interesting sequels. Filmed in 1970 this movie features everything you could have possibly wanted to see in a sexploitation film. However if compared to today's standards schoolgirls porn fantasy this movie would seem like a PG rated home video.

Schoolgirl Report #1 "What Parents Don't Think Is Possible" is a display of the immortal schoolgirl sexual fantasy every single man in this planet, so the story is mostly about a few teen schoolgirls who are of course misbehaving by having some dirty sinful sex. The actresses look like teens, some of the were barely legal teens but it wasn't porn, it was just a softcore depiction of a much hardcore reality that we don't seem to see in this film. Although the porn industry was a very big thing in the 70's these softcore sexploitation films prevailed because they had an ongoing plot that kept you there watching the whole thing, not just the sex scenes.


Thank god today, we have the wonderful guys of Impulse Pictures, for they have released the Schoolgirl Report saga from volume 1 up to volume 8, and I'm quite sure they'll soon release the latest episodes. 


What can you expect from this movie? The answer is very simple: we all want to know how would it be like to enter the sexual awakening of the teenage world, so the movie is the answer itself.

The interviews look and feel very real.

Some girls kinda look like teens.

Bikini Teens.

Now let's get down to business, After the opening sequence in which one "schulmadchen" (the german term used to refer to a German high school girl) is caught having sex, concerned parents, teachers, and other students get together for a meeting, and this movie turns into a documentary with a lot of talking heads and sexual scenes, ranging from innocuous nudity to softcore groping, being acted out as "illustration". Obviously, this movie uses the old exploitation trick of pretending to morally condemn or express liberal social concern over the same lurid subject that the movie itself is cheerfully exploiting. I'm sure when this movie was showing in a German theaters, there were a lot more dirty old men in raincoats than "concerned parents" in the audience(and any concerned parents that WERE there probably would have been well-advised to wear raincoats as well). I'm also sure that the makers of this, if interviewed today, would freely admit that the moralizing was just a lot of phony-baloney to ameliorate the (obviously very stupid) censors. This theory of mine is proven in the Schoolgirl Report #2 & #3 where the sex scenes and nudity are more explicit and last longer than in the original film , so the idea of intending to warn parents about their sexually driven teens has no other purpose than feeding the fantasy of actually being into the world of dirty teens.

This movie seems pretty sordid on paper, but I actually found it strangely innocent compared to today's standards of sex movies. We still have this faux moralistic/secretly lecherous mentality today. Much of our current entertainment media, for instance, seems focused on following around under-age or just very immature young girls, morally clucking at their misdeeds while salivating over every sordid detail. And the more "legitimate" the medium and the more serious and shrill the moralizing, the more disgusting the hypocrisy. Moreover, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, etc. are real people who had no trouble in getting recorded in homemade porn movies, do drugs, get wasted and depict their pussies in public places, and yet we don't seem shocked anymore. The actresses in this movie are obviously not real "schulmadchen". They not only don't look underage, but they don't act like real women of any age--they're fantasy figures like a twenty-five-year-old stripper with fake breasts dressed in a Catholic school uniform. They belong to the world of fantasy and I guess that's pretty cool, fantasies don't harm anyone. Schoolgirl Report was not meant to be a movie for degenerate minds, degenerate minds suck and should be jailed for good.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying its necessarily healthy for the media to exploit even "fantasy teens" like with this film and a thousand more that were filmed in the 70's golden era of the exploitation genre, but given how much we let REAL teenagers be exploited today. well, I just wouldn't worry about it too much.  Take the porn teen sites for instance, there are thousands of 18 years old doing porn! some on paid sites, some on free sites, some are not into porn but are into prostitution and hell, that is real and legal worldwide.

Masturbating teen.

Teen Bush.

Teen dykes & teens masturbating with teddy bears.

Overall a movie for exploitation lovers, after all the sex scenes are the core reason for making the film, the fake documentary style is just an added element to make it feel more real. Watching Schoolgirl Report #1 today is watching an innocent flick about sex, this movie is Disney's stuff compared to today's movies. Just don't expect to find yourself in a real sex movie, this is barely softcore AKA erotic. 

Here's the original movie trailer for the Spanish version "Las Colegialas se Confiesan" which is the same standard international trailer only with spanish subs.