Superman VS Spiderman XXX, a Porn Parody

Just like the original 70's comic book cover.

Adult film parodies have become so commonplace these days, that they even have their own awards with the X-Rated Critics Organization (a highly educated elite of masturbators). You can name practically any TV show or movie and there’s a porn parody for it, and there is no man in the adult industry who does them with more (figurative and literal) passion and attention to detail than our friend Axel Braun, winner of the 2012 XRCO Best Director-Parody award and 2012 AVN Awards Director of the Year, both for Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody.

The original comic book which inspired the parody.

Superman knows he can beat the shit out of Spidey.

Superman VS Spiderman XXX, a Porn Parody brings us a fresh new adventure in the world of porn superheroes. Okay, not really. Porn director Axel Braun (not his real name, I’m guessing), who has apparently been making a killing putting out these superhero porn parodies in the last few years is the guy behind the camera in this DC & Marvel comics crossover. The guy’s so big now that his porn movies actually carry his name in the title. In any case, if you ever wanted to see the Last Son of Krypton battle the Arachnid Knight, well, this is your movie. Plus, if you’re into people having sex, this is your movie, too. And if you happen to be into both of those things, well hell, then this will really be your movie.

Lois Lane finds her way to destroy Lex Luthor.

Yes Luthor cum inside me!

The classic 1976 superhero crossover gets the XXX spoof treatment, courtesy of the adult powerhouse Vivid Entertainment. When Doc Ock and Lex Luthor join forces to defeat their nemesis, Spidey and the Man of Steel meet for the first time and must work together to foil the evil duo’s nefarious plans for world domination. Ryan Driller and Xander Corvus reprise their award-winning roles, and headline an all-star cast that includes Alexis Texas, Andy San Dimas, Capri Anderson, Kagney Linn Karter, Jenna Presley as Spider-Woman and an astounding Jazy Berlin as Black Cat. With lavish production values, spectacular VFX, and Braun’s legendary attention to detail, this movie may be one of the higlights of the porn industry in 2012. However, that doesn't mean the movie is entertaining. The problem with porn movies is that basically, they're porn movies. The more porn film makers try to add a consistent plot to their collection of sex scenes, the more they seem to fail. The average porn fan doesn't care for plot at all as long as the performers "look" convincing in their depraved roles. I for one, don't consider myself as an avid fan of porn movies. In fact I think I'm just an ocassional visitor in the world of porn, unless it is 70's sexploitation, that's my thing!

Supergirl saves the day!

Lesbian Super hero 69.

Anyways, I'm just saying, if you're going to make a parody about characters that do have a consistent storyline you should at least try to imitate some of that genuine comic book magic. I guess I just grown tired of XXX parodies as they all have performers dressed up as if they were the real thing, but they never get to manage to display acting talent, so they just "look like" the real thing but in no way they portray some of the persona of the characters being spoofed. If I had to choose a fair performance XXX parody I would settle for Spiderman XXX & The Avengers XXX, today's movie, I would definitely skip it unless I've never seen a XXX parody before.

Calm down ladies! there's plenty of Superman for you.

Hero's gals can be friends too!

Overall, Superman VS Spiderman XXX has interesting sex scenes, the actresses are very very hot and don't look like 80 years old sluts. In fact that's the highlight, the actresses! they have the looks of the comic book femme fatales, and that is a plus in an industry where actresses are made in the Red Hot Chili Peppers Californication style (pay your surgeon very well, to break the spell of aging ♪♫)

Your friendly neighbour Spiderman.

Spiderwoman teams up at last!

Probably I will not review porn parodies for quite some time, although this DC Marvel crossover porn parody has been just released this month as the "event of the year" I hardly think sales will say so, cause porn collectors download their films, there are only a few of them who buy the original DVD/BLu Ray for their personal video library, so definitely I will take a very long vacation from reviewing these kind of movies that add nothing new to the world of the porn industry. Just keep on uploading free porn to the internet you porn makers because no one will spend limited edition bucks for such mediocre products. 

Here's the movie trailer:

Dear God No!!!

Bikers are back!

Dear God No! takes place over 24 hours with the nastiest biker gang in cinematic history. We begin with their breakfast at a drive-in (clever, huh?) which consists of mushrooms, cocaine, beer, pot and nun necrophilia. Yep, it's that kind of movie. We follow these scumbags on an adventure that just turns out to be one really bad day for them. Nothing is going right. Strip club shoot em' ups, cops, narcs, mad science, crazy women and Bigfoot! These Georgia boys pride themselves in being the most offensive killers in Dixie and pretty much stay true to their nature despite the supernatural shenanigans thrown their way.

Hell yeah!

The best way to describe this minor masterpiece is imagine if Herschell Gordon Lewis, Russ Meyer and John Waters somehow tricked Roger Corman into bank rolling a collaborative picture. Than said picture was deemed so gory, nasty and offensive that it sat on a shelf collecting dust for 40 years. If the mentioned directors were also rednecks, that would be this film.

Intestines get yanked out, heads constantly lobbed off, etc. It's done with real effects that aren't the best but they aren't cheesy either. They fit the time period of this film. There are some great laugh out loud moments. Most are supplied by the absurdity of the building conflicts. Actor Paul McComiskey is a real stand out as a lecherous old scientist having the worst day of his life. His interactions with the bikers are priceless and provide some of the most memorable lines in the film. 

Killer sluts!

But lead actor Jett Bryant steals this show. He is the essence of cool and you end up rooting for this killer because he is so damn scary cool. He twirls a gun like the greatest western antiheroes from Italy, slaps people around like Dirty Harry and delivers one liners like James Bond. There really isn't anyone other than Bigfoot to identify with because everyone in this thing is evil so I latched on to him. 

That's what I'm talking about.

The Southern locations and authentic score really add some great tension. If you forgot about Deliverance, Dear God No! is sure to remind you that below the Mason Dixon line life is cheap. This movie has an enormous body count. Both with clothes and without. It's packed full of nudity old school grindhouse style. This does it right. Exploitation shouldn't be glossy and stylized. It should ooze creepy and be loads of fun. Dear God No! is a welcome break from the millions of ghost or serial killer torture films flooding cable and DVD shelves. Young fanboys raised on Resident Evil won't get it. If your over 30 than this is the one you have been waiting for since Evil Dead 2. When it comes to the new crop of faux grindhouse (Death Proof, Planet Terror, Hobo With A Shotgun, etc.) this very original film sets the bar high. Recommended. 

Boobs with guns!

Boobs!

Why did it take this long for someone to make a good grindhouse movie? Every single one that has been released over the last couple of years suffers from the same problems of being way to slick to be an accurate representation of grindhouse. DEAR GOD NO! proves you don't need a big budget, cgi, name actors and a giant technical crew to make a modern classic grindhouse film. You just need an understanding of why people cherish grindhouse cinema. I'm happy to report every review on IMDb is accurate. This is the love letter to grindhouse I thought Tarrantino and Rodriquez could deliver but didn't. If DEAR GOD NO! had come out before their GRINDHOUSE double feature we may of been looking at a full blown revival instead of the periodic grindhouse-esque films we get like Machete & HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. I can not stress enough how authentic and original this film is. Instead of just lifting complete plots it takes hundreds of previous elements and creates something refreshingly new. 

Fire!

Kill'em good Nixon.

Yes, they will murder & rape pregnant gals!

This is not a glossy, over-stylized grindhouse homage like "Hobo With A Shotgun", "Machete", or "Planet Terror". This is the closest thing to an actual Grindhouse film made in this century... Though perhaps it is a little more extreme.

It is shot on 16mm film, there are 31 breasts, all of the effects are practical (i.e. no CGI), and it is fun as hell.

This flick definitely isn't for everybody (there is some extreme stuff in here), but for fans of authentic grindhouse features, bigfoot, bikers, sexploitation, gore, and drug movies; "Dear God No!" is the way to go. 

Here's the amazing movie trailer:

Father's Day

Awesome vintage looking poster!

In all my years of a horror fanatic and throughout the experience of writing several hundreds of film reviews, I am not usually blown away by 21st century film, but believe you me, 2011's Troma studios "Father's Day" is truly the most demented, twisted, sickest and derailed genre outing that I ever watched. And I'm glad that I got my hands in the home release limited edition of the film, featuring 4 discs of pure crazy awesomeness!. The limited edition feature s the 2 DVD standard edition of the film, the high definition Blu-Ray disc and the amazing original motion picture soundtrack all packed in an astonoshing vintage looking case! 

If you are familiar with Troma studios, you know you will be exposed to a massive amount of gore, perversity, craziness and smut! This movie truly embodied the absolute most fun you can experience if these kinds of films are your cup of tea. Written and directed by a collective of no less than six creative minds – who are undoubtedly all mentally ill beyond repair – and produced by the legendary infamous Troma Studios, "Father's Day" is best described as a sort of homage/throwback to gritty & low-budgeted Grindhouse cinema from the 70's and early 80's, but I assure you that even throughout that entirely lunatic era, there was never a film so extreme as this one. 

Yeah! Nude women & chainsaws!

Shake that ass!

Where and how to begin with describing this unique piece of trash? With the plot, perhaps? It's practically impossible, but I'll give it a shot anyways. The pauperized ghetto streets are terrorized by the psychopath Chris Fuchman; an anal rapist and serial killer targeting distinguished middle class fathers. One of the victims' sons (a gay teenage prostitute) teams up with an ambitious young priest, but they quickly realize they'll need the help of the eye-patch wearing warrior Ahab. He hunted down Fuchman once before, but now retired to the Canadian forests in order to devote his life to making maple syrup. I kid you not. Ahab can be convinced to fight, however, as this grants him the opportunity to restore his relationship with his estranged go-go dancing sister Chelsea. Together, this crazy wild bunch tracks down Fuchman, but their work isn't even finished when they kill him, as his soul and even his evil sperm carry forward the killing spree. Mind you that this short description doesn't give you one quarter of insight about everything that's going on in "Father's Day". 

The Good Guys!

Nice couple, aren't they?

The plot is much more convoluted and insane than this, complete with dead-end sub plots, a massive load of flamboyant supportive characters, depraved undertones and a finale that left a complete theater full of horror freaks startled! I don't suppose I have to emphasize this, but "Father's Day" should most definitely be avoided by all easily offended, prudish, squeamish and politically correct viewers. The film is a smörgåsbord of blood and intestines, cut off body parts, ripped out organs, bludgeoned faces and – oh yes – even cut open/bitten off penises and crushed fetuses. The acting performances are all extremely over-the-top (like they ought to be) and the movie is supported by a penetrating soundtrack, raw & primitive cinematography and awesomely animated opening credits. Particularly the depiction of heaven and hell near the climax are deliciously deranged. And, as some sort of extra reward for the fans, there's a brilliant cameo appearance by Troma's smut-deity Lloyd Kaufman in a genuinely apt role. 

Boss Hog, the thin years.

They call him one eye.. ahemmm I mean Ahab!

Lloyd Kaufman and Jeremy Gillespie, one of the director's collective Astron-6, were present in Brussels at the festival to introduce their film and provided some interesting background production info. The crazed out collective initially fabricated a fake trailer for "Father's Day" and sent it to the Troma headquarters. To their own surprise, Troma contacted them back and offered them the relatively low (at least to make a full-feature film) sum of $10.000. Gillespie elaborated that it's incredibly difficult to make a full movie out of a fake trailer that actually even started as a little joke. Most of the downright absurd and unfathomable situations and plot twists in the film are a direct consequence of the fact that Astron-6 stuffed nonsensical ideas into their trailer, unaware they later had to bring coherence between it all. But the result is there. "Father's Day" is destined to become a Troma cult favorite for sure.

Here's the uncensored film trailer:

Troma's FATHER'S DAY  Uncut Trailer por TromaTeamVideo

El Mirón y la Exhibicionista

A badly improvised DVD cover.

I am a fan of the controversial cinematographer Jess Franco, so my point of view is not going to be shared by many readers, which is OK with me: this is a free world! As a matter of fact, I must confess that I watch every Franco's movie I can get my hands on and, honestly, I find always something intriguing and interesting in his work.  

Today's entry will take us deep into the world of 1986's "El Mirón y la Exhibicionista", a straight forwarded hard core porn movie that offers nothing but sex. Perhaps, compared to the unlimited amount of porn you can get from the internet, you may find this Jess Franco film a horrible experiment in porn, as its actors & actresses are not in their best sunday dress. Lina Romay is not as in shape as she used to be and neither are the rest of the cast. Definitely Jess Franco's intentions were not to turn you on to get a good fap/schlock out of his movie. There is a darker point of view in here. Franco wants us to see regular people getting dirty, and portraying the ugliness and brutality of depraved sex.

The opening scene.

Hey! how rude of you to be looking at my nude wet slutty body!

The plot is very simple: in what appears to be a resort/hotel room, a good-looking woman (Lina Romay, featuring all the looks the 80's could deliver), is reading magazines and listening to music from a tape-deck. She is obviously bored but, after a while, she realizes (what an eye...) that a man is watching her from the window of a conveniently placed building in front of her room. It appears that he has binoculars, which qualifies him immediately as a "skilled Peeping-Tom". She doesn't let the opportunity skip by and starts staging a quite titillating and very arousing show in total benefit of this uninvited, but evidently quite welcome, guest. After that brief opening 101 plot explanation lesson, the film turns into varied sex sequences where Lina Romay's character takes the lead. She knows she's got a peeping Tom in front of her window so she finds that very motivating to continue her dirty sexual escapades which feature masturbation, lesbian action, penetration, fellatio, cumshots, cunni lingus and dirty dancing.

Gee! I can't find my clit in this big bush o'mine!

Haven't you ever thought of using a razor Lina?

I got a find neighbour.

The film looks & feels as another average porn movie but, believe you me, Jess Franco doesn't want you to masturbate with his flick, instead he wants to create and show the compelling and escalating atmosphere of tension and complicity, which is building up, as time goes by, between "watcher" and "watched". Lina gets "busy" with her body and soul and you can tell she likes what she does, but her eyes constantly run at the window, looking to be assured that "He" is still there and that he likes what he sees. Believe it or not, her facial language is (particularly under these peculiar circumstances) quite expressive and convincing. There is a mounting tension between the two which, in spite of being at least a couple of hundred yards away from each other and linked only by sight and some other person body, which is the "occasional-transfer", have never been so close and this, till the...inevitable conclusion. 

The dialogue is basically non existent. However at one point Lina says (in her native Spanish) to her occasional and cooperating sex friend: "you may think I'm a maniac but...I love this game!".  

Yeah! Diddle her skiddle!

You sure know how to find my clit in the wild woods of my bush.

Overall, "El Mirón y la Exhibicionista" May look like a porn film, and in fact, it is a porn movie but with a strong direction focused on the topic of being watched, and getting turned on by it. The film is presented mostly in dark colors, that I think, resemble the mood of the depraved characters. The sex scenes are accompanied with pleasant jazzy big band music and the babes acting haven't certainly discovered yet the use of a razor, and don't forget the guilt mood that follows the whole film from start to end. Of course, Jess Franco has directed films that are way better than this simple peeping tom fantasy but still this isn't as bad as it looks.

Anyways, next entries will be about "Father's Day" & "Dear God No" the latest gems in Troma's world of exploitation.

Lina just loves sucking cocks dry!

Lina's money shot!

Here a " video highlight" of the film:

Doriana Grey/Die Marquise Von Sade

The greatest spanish import of them all.

If someone wanted to define Jess Franco merely as an erotic/porn filmmaker he would be just miserably missing the point.  Jess Franco was much more than an erotic/porn director. In fact, I'd like to state, Mr. Franco's signature talent was that he developed erotic/porn horror like no other in the industry. He didn’t invent the erotic horror movie, but he took it further than anyone else had taken it up to that point, and further than anyone has taken it since. And in Doriana Grey, AKA Die Marquise von Sade, made in 1976, he took the form to its logical conclusion. 

Given that the movie contains real sex (fellatio, cunnilinguns, penetration, facials and masturbation to be exact), it raises the obvious questions. Is this pornography or art? Is this pornography or a horror movie? The answer is that it’s pornography, and it’s art, and it’s a horror movie, and there in lies Jess Franco's undisputable talent.

Poor girl can't stop masturbating.

See? masturbating is her thing.

It deals with the same themes Franco had already explored in my personal favorite Female Vampire, AKA Erotikill in 1973, and to a certain extent in Vampyros Lesbos in 1970. Vampirism is no longer a metaphor for sex. Vampirism is sex. Superficially these movies seem to equate sex with death, but given that the theme is obviously important and personal for Franco I find it difficult to believe that he’s actually intending such a puritanical message. I’m more inclined to think that he’s equating sex with life, sex as the life force, sex as the alpha and the omega of life. It’s not a case of the blood is the life; it’s sex that is the life.

Doriana Grey is a fabulously wealthy, exquisitely beautiful and eternal youthful woman. She is also a vampire. Like the Countess Irina in Female Vampire she has an insatiable hunger for sex, and like the Countess Irina she drains the life from her victims through sex. But she can never satisfy her hunger; she is incapable of experiencing the physical fulfillment of sex. She has a twin sister, from whom she was surgically separated birth. She was left without the ability to experience sexual ecstacy no matter how much she craves it; her sister was left with little except that ability. They are both incomplete. Doriana has sex obsessively, but it’s her twin who experiences the pleasure.

Yes kids, real actors portray real sex.

Doriana can go from one boy to one girl at ease.

The link to Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray may seem somewhat tenuous, and it certainly doesn’t qualify as an adaptation of the novel, but Wilde’s tale was undoubtedly one of the inspirations for the movie. In this case the twin sister takes the place of the painting.

Lina Romay plays both sisters. She looks ravishing, and I doubt that any other actress could have combined the necessary feel for the character with the necessary very high degree of uninhibitedness that the role demands. I personally think she’s a very underrated actress, and this is one of her best performances.

Those who dislike Franco’s movies in general will hate this one. Apart from an enormous amount of sex it features the stylistic touches that annoy his critics so much. There’s an obsessive use of the zoom lens, and there’s an equally obsessive and at times bewildering tendency to move in and out of focus, with the focus frequently dissolving altogether. There’s no question it’s a deliberate technique, and it works, conveying very effectively Doriana’s disconnection and alienation from herself (in fact the disconnection and alienation from self of both halves of her personality housed in separate bodies).

Skiddle addict.

Doriana likes to drink cum at tea time.

I think it’s vitally important not to see this movie until you’ve seen Vampyros Lesbos and Female Vampire - they form a sort of vampire trilogy, with each film pushing the theme a little bit further. It’s not a movie for everyone, but then no Jess Franco movie could be described as a movie for everyone. And be warned, I’m not kidding about the sex. It really is explicit and it really is non-simulated. Personally I think it’s a bold and brilliant film. 

Here you can see Doriana Grey getting busy:

Butterflies

Swedish erotica at its best.

Butterflies is one of three movies that legendary American sexploitation writer-director Joe Sarno made in Germany in the mid-70s. The first of the three was Vampire Ecstacy which was a bit of a departure for Sarno. Butterflies is less interesting, but still it’s a Sarno film. All three movies were shot in English.

Denise (Marie Forså) lives on a farm and she’s bored. She dreams of being a fashion model. Even the regular sex with her boyfriend Freddie (Eric Edwards) isn’t enough to break the monotony of rural life. So she decides to head to Munich to try to get her modeling career started. She hitch-hikes and develops a simple but effective technique for getting lifts. She lifts her skirt, and since she never wears underwear it works pretty well. First she is picked up by a rather creepy guy who sells kinky women’s underwear but she soon ditches him. Then she gets a ride with Frank (Harry Reems).

Do you like my new bikini?

Can't wait to choke on your cock daddy.

Frank is exciting and she figures he’s the sort of man she needs to meet. He runs a club in Munich and lives a glamorous lifestyle revolving around women, booze, women, expensive clothes, women, night-clubs and women. Frank already has a live-in girlfriend named Verena but he doesn’t let that cramp his style. The sex with Frank is hot, and Denise enjoys sex. Verena warns her she’s going to be just one of a long line of women that Frank picks up and then discards but Denise convinces herself that that won’t happen to her.

Frank doesn’t do much to further her modeling career but he does provide her with the lifestyle and excitement she craves.

Of course Verena’s warnings soon turn out to be all too true. Frank is chronically incapable of keeping his pants zipped up. When Frank meets the glamorous Natascha Denise finally realises what the score is.

Beat around the blonde bushes haha!

Mirror, mirror, how much cum can this girl swallow?

It’s not much of a plot but in Sarno’s hands it has a rather bitter-sweet quality to it. Like his earlier American sexploitation movies Butterflies has a dark edge to it. Sarno’s movies never explode into violence but the passions aroused by the pursuit of pleasure do have their price. The idea that you can pursue sex and pleasure without becoming emotionally entangled always proves to be an illusion. It’s not that Sarno’s movies are conventional warnings about the wages of sin. He avoids simplistic moral judgments but he’s always at his strongest when dealing with emotions and when emotions are aroused people do get hurt.

The acting is reasonably impressive. Marie Forså is quite effective at portraying Denise’s odd blend of overwhelming sexuality and rural naïvete and she’s also able to make Denise a real person. Denise wants sex but she wants love as well, and she’s not going to get that from Frank. Forså has to do real acting and she manages pretty well. One might also add that she’s rather stunning.

Yes! vintage hardcore!

I need help with my pussy fever.

Harry Reems (best known as the star of Deep Throat) was a major star in hardcore films in the 70s. This time he has to do some real acting as well and he’s quite adequate. Frank is exciting but he’s not a nice guy, although in his defence he never really pretends to be anything other than he is - a man completely devoted to the selfish pursuit of his own pleasure.  Reems has to work on some actual characterisation here.

The movie is basically softcore but it was shot hardcore - in other words the sex is not simulated but most of the more graphic hardcore elements were edited out. Still, it does cross the line into mild hardcore territory at times.

Zoom blowjob.

Lick that twat!

Blonde bush under attack!

As usual in Sarno’s 1970s softcore offerings the sex is actually erotic, the women (and the men) are attractive, and the sex scenes are filmed with a certain amount of care so it’s more than just the dreary mechanical couplings you’d expect in a hardcore feature. And, typically for a Sarno movie, the focus is on the emotions of sex rather than the mechanics. The sex is however rather stronger than in a typical 1970s softcore film so if that’s a problem for you you have been warned.

The Swedish DVD release from Another World in is English with optional sub-titles in all the Scandinavian languages. And since it was made by Joe Sarno you do need the dialogue! It’s a very good transfer in the correct aspect ratio of 1.33:1 and the two-disc DVD set includes both the director’s cut and the less interesting XXX version as well as a commentary track (in English) and various other extras. This is a case of an erotic movie that really does deserve the kind of DVD release usually reserved for art movies and happily it gets it here.

Here's the opening sequence:

And the Cinderella style movie excerpt: