The Hateful Eight

The Boring Eight.

Quentin Tarantino stated a few days ago that he's planning to make 10 movies and then retire. I guess his decision is boldly based upon the difficulty he's having when releasing new movies. Such difficulty is no other than producing extremely long films that are not entertaining from start to finish. You can't make a 3 hour film just to entertain your viewers in the last 30 minutes. Also, you can't exploit uninteresting dialogs uttered by uninteresting characters. Everyone knows Tarantino's talent for creating interesting characters with even more interesting dialogs. The Hateful 8 just proves he's lost it forever. If Django Unchained already had a few filler moments, this new western is 100% filler moments. If you were hoping for a film about eight notorious killers holed-up in a cabin where the intensity is slowly ratcheted up until everything comes to a head and inevitably explodes into a gunfight of epic proportions and consequences...this isn't that movie.

First, let's be positive and focus on what this rare non action western gets right:

The cinematography at the beginning of the film was beautiful. The panoramic landscapes were stunning as was a slow motion close up of two horses in full gallop, especially with the Ennio Morricone score playing in the background. It seemed like this film was well on it's way to being a western of epic proportions.

Jennifer Jason Leigh can do no wrong. For most of the film she just reacts to the other characters and the situations, and does it brilliantly. Her sly winks, her laugh, her voice and anything she does makes her character truly memorable. Towards the end of the film her character Daisy Domergue finally opens up and Leigh is very good. It's too bad her character wasn't given a back story, because Leigh could have easily won a trophy or two this awards season if Daisy was a more fleshed- out character.

The boring as fuck team.

The most talkative Western cowboys in the whole world.

Tim Roth is good for what little he is also given. He can take a throwaway line, (which there are plenty of in the film), and deliver it in a funny, memorable way. It's too bad his character doesn't do much other than fill up a space so the title can have the number eight in it.

Kurt Russell did 'good'. Now I put that in quotes because he's done better, and in some scenes his lines fall flat and almost seem forced, but being a Russell fan myself, I think he did pretty good for the most part. It's too bad he's not acting as much as he should be.

Now let's go for the bitter taste this flick delivers by dozens

CHAPTER 1 ... Chapters in these films are no longer needed. Normally, I kind of look forward to these because we usually find out something new or shocking, either way you know something is about to happen. In this movie, however, they actually distract from the story.

Narration by some unknown person is also no longer needed in his films. The narrations seem like an after-thought that were added in during the editing process.

The out-of-sequence chapter is pretty standard fare when it comes to Tarantino's films. In this film, the sequence just makes you say. 'Oh. Okay.' and doesn't work at all.

Not even my music can save this film.

I'm the only character worth watching.

Michael Madsen is 100% a throwaway character. He's given no good lines and could have been left out of the film entirely.

Channing Tatum is a another wasted character and was basically used for a laugh, (depending on your sense of humor).

No other actor's talents were wasted more in The Hateful Eight than Bruce Dern's. Dern is given nothing to work with and I feel bad for him and disappointed in Tarantino for not giving him a more deserving part.

Walton Goggins WASN'T BAD. He is listed under the bad section because his character's motivations were all over the place. His cool confidence is what makes him an interesting actor and he wasn't given any of that here.

Samuel L. Jackson. Make no mistake - this was his movie. He is the main character. Forget the title. Out of the Hateful Eight, only four of them were actually given enough material for them to be fleshed-out characters. The rest of the characters are merely bit players to push the story forward.

Let's get inside so we can have a talk.

Even characters Yawn at this film!

There were a lot of throwaway scenes I don't even want to get into because it might spoil the story for anyone who hasn't seen the film yet.

People are comparing this movie to Reservoir Dogs, which is laughable. Reservoir Dogs did a lot more with a lot less. The Hateful Eight is bloated with a lot of unnecessary scenes and dialogue.

The violence is way over the top and unrealistic. Some of it can be seen as an attempt at dark humor. While some of it works, some does not and is needlessly gratuitous.

The Hateful Eight was unrealistic in general and most serious westerns try to play as true to historically correct as possible. 

Now I will say that Django Unchained was definitely an exception to the rule. You had to suspend disbelief because that was part of the fun of the film. The thought of Django actually being real and doing the things he did and said back in those times was really fun to watch. The hip hop music during the shoot out, for example, put a big smile on your face and had you cheering him on.

However, The Hateful Eight is a serious western with a small bit of comedy relief thrown in, and is pretty far from historically factual in terms of characters and their interactions. 

The movie is actually about me playing myself.

Great actor with a wasted character.

This brings me to the last part of my review...the ugly.

Tarantino has always been given a free pass when it comes to using the n-word, and boy he lets it fly here. Not a little bit, not a lot, not a bit much, but way too much. Subtle is not a word in Tarantino's vocabulary. Everything has to be loud and in your face. He's been known for being hip and cool, neither of these words describe this film.

Nobody in this film, aside from Minnie, Sweet Dave or even O.B., were likable at all. Every character was flawed and none of them seemed to live by any kind of code or morality or immorality for that matter.

At the end when you see who is left standing, you really don't care. That was the biggest disappointment for me. 

I'm going to be a Sheriff.

Overall, a sad experience for the viewer. I love spaghetti westerns, they're filled with action and just the right amount of plot to develop a minimum consistency for each character, but here there's not enough action. Almost two hours and a half go by when something western like actually happens. I also love Quentin Tarantino, I think he is my definite film maker. Nevertheless, I don't review films from a biased point of view. The Hateful Eight is clearly the worst film Tarantino has ever filmed. Let's hope his two remaining ones leave The Hateful Eight as a minor misstep on his already brilliant career.

PS: Bring some pills to keep you awake throughout the film, or maybe get high before hitting theaters.

Here's the movie trailer: