Continuing with Roger Corman's Lethal Ladies film saga, today we enter the world of a buxom, leggy, shapely, irresistibly trashy platinum blonde 70's schlock
action movie bombshell Cheri Caffaro, who rather uncomfortably
resembles a dark side clone of Dolly Parton, struts her
electrifying el skanko woman hot stuff to the sizzling low-rent max as
cagey, sexy and very deadly international hit babe Samantha Fox (who
shouldn't be confused with either the New York porn star or the vacuous
British pop singer, now where they inspired by Cheri's character?), who's armed with an assortment of lethal weapons
and clever disguises, plus sports the world's ugliest dark blue eye
shadow and an extremely deep all body tan. Fox gleefully kills an
eminently hateful bunch of wealthy slimebags who all live in
the Phillipines. She's been hired to rub out these evil rich scum by
some mystery person. In between offing people Cheri finds time to
strike up a steamy romance with hunky police chief Aharon Ipale (one
particularly hot date involves attending a cockfight; the killer
roosters' wild brawl is tastefully inter-cut with scorchingly hot shots
of a naked Caffaro excitedly writhing on a bed!).
70's chick style never looked better with a shotgun.
So ya wanna a piece o' me?
Funerals get my twat so wet, y' know.
Cheri's perpetually all-thumbs director husband Don Schain, who also
helmed all three sensationally scuzzy "Ginger" pictures and the tawdry
"A Place Called Today" for his darling celluloid sleaze goddess wife,
fumbles the ball here with truly inept, but still oddly engrossing and
often painfully sidesplitting results: some priceless dialogue
(aphorism to live by: "I never bet on anything but a sure thing"),
copious gratuitous Caffaro nudity, hilariously ham-fisted action scenes
(don't miss the gut-busting karate fight between Cheri and a would-be
kung-fu assassin on Cheri's yacht), Hugo Montenegro's funky, pulsating
pseudo-John Barry score, choppy editing, quite primitive cinematography
by Fredy Conde (the strenuous slow motion and eyeball-straining four
way split screen are both endearingly clumsy), gorgeous scenic Manila
locations, an almost excruciatingly funny surprise ending, Julie
McFadden's haunting rendition of the unforgettably atrocious theme song
"Lady Samantha" ("Lady Samantha/He fell in love with you"), and the
incomparable Vic Diaz's marvelous portrayal of a sweet, tubby,
gluttonous blundering oaf of a detective all jostle for the viewer's
attention in this tacky, degenerate and resolutely crummy ersatz James
Bond-style action/adventure dreckfest released by New World Pictures
that's absolutely essential viewing for any self-respecting Cheri
Caffaro fan worth his weight in crushed beer cans, which hopefully
doesn't exclude too many folks.
Get that sun tan you love so much baby.
Is it hot here, or is it just me?
You're so gonna love my kamasutra training old fart.
If nothing else, "Too Hot to Handle", AKA, "She's Too Hot to Handle", AKA "Hitgirl" proves to be a very entertaining sexploitation ride. Cheri Caffaro plays her hitgirl role Samantha Fox, like a natural, she is hot & sexy, she is Samantha Fox!. The film starts while she is at work knocking off a succession of
Manila gangsters, a handsome young detective, Domingo De La Torres
(Aharon Ipale) picks up her trail, and it complicates things for the
two of them when they find themselves falling for each other. Don
Schain goes all out sometimes trying to give the film
some style, and it is rather amusing, as he employs split screen
(towards the end, we get to see four things happen at once) and iris
shots, and comes up with a reasonably clever scene transition at one
point.
Check my lethal weaponry: Tits, Ass, Pussy & a willing mouth.
Fuck me hard!
Sugar, today I'm taking a bath in your cum.
Of course, as this is a B movie, I can't say there aren't inept moments, pretty priceless
ones, in fact, as the fight scenes come off as woefully awkward. The
James Bond-style music score is quite a hoot, as well. We do get
treated to the sight of Ms. Caffaro's naked body, which is much
appreciated, and there's a decent amount of sex. What is nice, however,
is that "Too Hot to Handle" displays some disarming humour right off
the bat, as Samantha takes out the first of her targets (John Van
Dreelen) in a "torture room". In addition to Caffaro, the cast is
entertaining; Ipale has been a busy actor for years, appearing in stuff
like "Fiddler on the Roof", "Ishtar", "The Mummy" (1999), and "Charlie
Wilson's War". The appearance of extremely prolific Filipino character
actor Vic Diaz always guarantees a good time, and in addition to Van
Dreelen, another veteran, French leading lady Corinne Calvet, makes a
cameo appearance. (In fact, her final scene is amusing the way it
deliberately mimics a scene from a commercial that her character shot -
poetic justice indeed!) Fox and Ipale make for an appealing enough
romantic pair. The movie is (comfortably) predictable, and easy enough
to watch, moving along fairly well and providing a good diversion.
Seven out of 10 definitely.
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